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Donald Drumpf
THE DONALD IS A LIE. DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES. |
please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page. |
Are you a white nationalist Kekistan manchild? Check out The Donald for the (much funnier) pro-Trump article.
Donald Trump, Donald Drumpf✡ or Fuckface Von Clownstick, is a dead animal toupee wearing, small handed, pussy grabbing, spoiled, retarded, moronic, draft dodging, shameless, cheating, lying, good for nothing, attention whoring, bullshitting, illiterate, egotistical, maniacal, raping, perverted, godless, hypocritical, flip flopping, indecent, greedy, loud mouthed, son of orangutan sycophant who somehow became the first American Not My President in 2016 by saying out loud in National Television what sub-human voters say out loud in private, and by gaslighting the nation. Somehow (see average voter IQ) he has convinced the masses that he wasn't running on contributions, even though he actually was. The rest of his campaign, was literally his lending himself the money, self funding, that is. Before becoming president he was known for inheriting a large sum of money and spending it on doomed projects, declaring bankruptcy, selling them, evading tax, and somehow making a profit. So guess what he will do with America? He will put his name all over it before running it into the ground and selling it to the Chinese in TPP 2.0, after which he'll retire to a South Florida like other real estate developers from Queens.
In November 2016, Amerifat handed its car keys to a total fucking dotard, mistakenly thinking he knew how to drive a country because he repeatedly said he's the best in the world, even though he drove multiple businesses into ditches and became indebted to the Russian mob because they're the only ones who would loan him money. Protip: In Best Korea, it's pronounced "Dotard Drumpf."
For the sake of clarity, we have divided up the life story of this meme in three chapters which are as follows:
- Before his rise to worldwide fame as a manbaby
- His Oscar winning performance of a madmanbaby running for president
- Post awards ceremony where he now has to actually govern this great nation of ours
Pre-election Era Donald Trump
The Apprentice
President Trump's great reality television show is called The Apprentice. The show also has a retarded brother called "The Celebrity Apprentice." This show has been home to many stars, including Lil' Jon, La Toya Jackson, and that one fat guy. President Donald Trump has also been seen extorting money from other contestants including rock singer Meatloaf. Arnold Schwarzenegger is now hosting The Celebrity Apprentice because even President Donald Trump's job has been stolen by an immigrant.
Trump is not his real name
Like two out of three Red-Blooded Americans, Donny's grandpa was originally a German, but because he didn't want to pay taxes or serve in the military he fled to the USA with only the money he owed the Kaiser's government and his new slogan: Toll macht frei. But there was a problem when you are named Drumpf in 1885's USA, so he tried his luck in Canada instead. After returning to Germany to marry, only to return to Queens again grandpa Friedrich made a fortune in brothels and died from the Spanish Flu.
—Yukon Sun |
- The first Trump hotel was known for selling prostitutes and generating positive press reviews, a practice and reputation that only improves with further Drumpf generations.
- Just like his grandpa, Donald is also known for tax evasion.
- His actual name is Drumpf, but he will be recorded in Chinese Annals as Te Lang Poo or 特朗>:(
Bankruptcies
- 1991 - He had to sell his yacht, to pay off the debt on Taj Mahal casino, less than a year after its opening. He was saved by billionaire Carl C. Icahn - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 1992 - When he couldn't pay for Trump Plaza Hotel, so it had to be bought out by Citibank. - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 1999 - Trump-Maples marriage fails after an almost-rape incident. Trump declared Chapter 11 Divorce.
- 2004 - Couldn't afford the "crushing debt" of Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Inc. He went from 47% of the stakes to a measly 27% - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 2009 - Donnie was kindly asked to step down as the head of the board when Trump Entertainment Resorts couldn't pay a 53 million dollar bill. - The company was forced to declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Was bought by Carl C. Icahn, so Americans shouldn't be without jobs.
- 2017 - America, when he spends all the money on the defense budget. Will declare a chapter 11 bankruptcy to the Chinese.
Failed business ventures
- 1985 - The New Jersey Generals was a USFL team that Trump re-bought. His decision was so poor that not only did he destroy the team, he destroyed an entire league.
- 1990 - Trump the Game was a Monopoly rip-off. It was brought back in 2005, to meh reviews.
- 1992 - Trump Shuttle where he managed to lose $100 million.
- 2007 - Trump Mortgage was led off by this immortal comment: "I think it's a great time to start a mortgage company ... who knows about financing better than I do?". It was right before the housing market crash. Well done, Nostradamus.
- 2007 - Trump Steaks were discontinued almost immediately. The Trump Steakhouse was found to be utterly fucking disgusting to the point where even Gordon Ramsay would give up. It was closed because it had expired yogurt and five months overdue duck.
- 2007 - GoTrump.com was a place for Trump by Trump. It shut down within a year.
- 2008 - Trump Vodka was abandoned just a mere two years after being released. Did we mention that Trump is a teetotaler and his brother was a severe alcoholic?
- 2009 - Trump Magazine first appeared in 2007, where his daughter was on the front page. Unfortunately she was dressed. It was supposed to cash in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities. Didn't work out.
- 2010 - Trump Ice. Would you like to buy some "Natural" "Spring" "Water", that tasted like socks?
- 2011 - Trump University was a diploma mill. Trump ended up getting sued for 40 million dollars, because he lied.
Settled in 2016 for $25 Million he did not have time to show up in court because he is the soon to be President.
Lifestyle
President Trump spends his days in his Manhattan home, eating delicious cake and playing with himself. He dreams of Jessi Slaughter and faps his 24 karat gilded five inch penis. In recent years he has begun to lure in little boys with wads of cash to have sex with him. President Trump, being the latent homosexual that is his agenda, is the sole financial source behind Boku no Pico. It is rumored that the plot is inspired by President Trump's childhood, but given how much President Trump brags about his accomplishments, if he did have such an awesome childhood--he'd never shut the fuck up about it. It is speculated that he will pander to militant homosexuals after he locks up the GOP nomination. He also has an extensive wardrobe, which ranges from green business suits to skimpy, black panties. It should be noted that President Trump has managed to bankrupt his entire business empire, twice, the first time it was a chain of casino resorts, which even those with the most tenuous grasp on economics, will tell you is fucking impossible unless you are a hire complete and utter retards. Both times President Trump got back on his feet again, from a combination of giving blowjobs to his neo-con friends (including the Clintons) and begging for bailouts from the government. The joke is on you cause he has "fuck you" money many times over and you are reading this not fully clothed.
The Birther Movement
This issue made this asshole's campaign momentum possible to being with, rode it all the way through till the effect wore off. How the issue unfolded is summed up by the pictures below ordered in sequence.
Candidate Donald Trump
His famous Mexican rapists and crime opening speech to take over the media
Campaign Slogan
Has Jewish Links
The irony that Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right, Alex Jones and KKK support him despite him having a Jew for a son-in-law and his daughter became a Jew.
Also the Prime Minister of Israel and Right Wing love him in Israel.
How his followers deal with his numerous fuckups and scandals
When you are inducted into the Trump Supporters Party, you must support the Dear Great Leader at all costs, no matter how small the insult is, you must defend him. A basic attack is to being butthurt over Hillary and liberals can't accept the miracles of our Dear Great Leader. For advanced training, use ShariaBlue and Shill to destroy the political thread because all of them must be paid off by the Jews, George Soros, David Brock and Deep State.
Make incest great again
Despite a many a failed marriages Donnie has always claimed he is a family man. And how can he maintain that? Simple. By wanting to boink his daughter.
Q: What's the favorite thing you have in common with your daughter
Getting his Walk of Fame Star removed
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Even Spider-Man hates Donnie
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Bitches shit on Trump
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Trump supporters also join the fun
The Donaldmatrix Pill Test
Hi snow flakes, if you made this far and want to test your mental state before we get to the main Presidential course, you will need to take this test to figure out if you need to be compassionately euthanized or a regular average Joe who fears for the direction of our nation.
There are two pictures below.
If you choose the right pill, go fill up the bathtub with warm water, strip naked, get into the bathtub with a sharp ass knife, slit your wrist below the water and you will bleed out and meet Allah.
If you choose the left pill, you are a sane and reasonable person but just to make sure, report to your local CDC office for massive exposure to bullshit unless Trump shut that down.
President Donald J Trump
His Official Presidential Portrait
Who voted for this fucktard
His 'Secret' plan to take out ISIS in 30 days
BREAKING NEWS!! 100+ Days later: Mission failure. |
His Muslim Travel Ban
Obamacare Repeal
Promised to repeal Obamacare on Day 1, took 2 months to come up with a replacement only for it to die dead on arrival on the first attempt in the House despite Republicunts and Cuckservatives controlling the House, Senate and Presidency.
What do Trump Supporters think of him now?
He is a Zionist NeoCon Shill
Well no shit when you are surrounded by Jews, they whisper in your ears as they take away your daughter to be converted into one of them. This sack of lard allowed the Chair Force to become the ISIS Air Force for the day as he bombed an airfield in Syria fighting ISIS because the Jews and the Jew owned media told him it was a good idea to save his poll numbers, which did jack shit as he lost support from the neckbeards in the basement, butthurt that the President doesn't listen to their advice when he is listening to his advisors on the National Security Council.
Donald the Destructor
In the year of our Lord 2016, Amerifat was asked by the RNC and the DNC to choose the form of the destructor, and with the help of Vodkaville trollfarms and the complicity of spineless Republitards willing to pay any price for taxcuts for millionaires (including global nuclear war), the obese American "people", who were upset by eight years of a black man in a white house, chanted "think of something white, think of something white" and elected the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, a giant retarded mentally unstable destructive white monster who resembles a fat angry baby and who only knows how to clumsily stomp on things and burn every bridge. Shortly after November 8, 2016, it was announced the Choice is made! The Traveller has come! With the destructor chosen, Amerilard was doomed. The President is, in the words of his very own Secretary of State who he picked himself, a "fucking moron." Much like the film Happy Death Day, the American people would be tormented by a psychopathic baby who tries to kill them every day. Only after fat Americans realized that Donald Drumpf was shitting in their cupcakes every morning with his pooptweets would they realize who was sabotaging America, all because the richest man in the world, Flatterer Poopin, was blackmailing him. For his next feat, President Drumpf will pick another amoral Jew for his cabinet, Harvey Weinstein for Secretary of Homeland Security.
Donald Trump? Moar liek Donald Dump amirite? Worst Donald Ever. Do you think that baby name is more popular or less popular now, Donny Boy? President Trump? Moar liek President Dump amirite? President Dump gives himself a perfect score: in golf, in Phuerto Rhico, and in everything actually. There is nobody on the planet more perfect than Donald Dump. Which is why he's so good at golf. Which is why he needs to read good stories about himself twice a day. His face is gold and his toilets are gold because he shits gold, and he wants to give that gold to the American people! Donald Drumpf has the Midas touch, everything he touches turns to gold -- golden showers. Beautiful, gorgeous, sparkling piss. So beautiful. It'll be the best urine, the best. You're gonna love it. Everybody's gonna love it. Believe me. Would I lie to you? Donald Dump likes to piss on people's legs and tell them it's raining. Or more accurately, he likes Russian whores to piss on their legs, and Putin says "is rain."
What happens when you let a president with Alzheimer's stay in office too long? Stay tuned! America is about to find out! How exciting! It's like there's a ticking timebomb inside the president's brain, and everybody knows where the bomb is, but Jack Bauer is retired. And somebody is making threatening phonecalls, and they're coming from inside the White House. Stop this ride, I want to get off. In 2016, America collectively said "I crashed my car into the bridge. I don't care!" and Don. Jr said "I love it!" Since Amerifat shit the bed in 2016, it's appropriate that Donald Trump and his cabinet is a shit tornado, a shitnado (not to be confused with "shit NATO", which is a feeling that Donnie has in his loins). Believe me. Believe me. Pls. Pls to be dismantle NATO. Pls to be remove sanctions. Pls to be electing Dolan Drumpf. Halp him grab pusy. Sincerely, Mother Russia the South will rise again!
How did this fucktard win
If you have made it this far and wonder how did this degenerate and hedonist become president, its because the god of kek wills it.
Now for the serious business answer, 4chan 's /pol/ role in the Great Meme war granted him victory over that demon from hell.
Okay I'm just fucking with you, those hard working /pol/iticans have a high degree of unwarranted self importance but Donald Drumpf won because the smug assholes on the left acted like communist traitors by interfering with free market in their primaries and rigged it for faux liberal Hillary Clinton to ironically defeat actual socialist Bernie Sanders. Also Hillary promised Deep South Niggers more free stuff. So the great white Bitch ignores the Rust Belt where her competitor YOU KNOW FUCKING WHO had been pandering to all year and instead goes to wealthy dinners sponsored by Hollywood feminists and Jew Bankers, guess why she was hated, and does a shit job at not being a robot or tool. SO on the day of reckoning, she loses by double the margin of minimum votes she was predicted to beat this WHINEY LITTLE BITCH.
Terrorist Organizations connected to Donald Trump
Y'all-Qaeda
Talibangelicals
Ismerica State
Yokel Haram
A Whiter Shade of Pale
Vanilla ISIS
Trumptards
Trumpanzees
Trumppalos
Trumpettes
Trumpists
Eye of the Storm
Last Thursday, professional golddigging whore Stormy Daniels aka Stephanie Clifford admitted to having an "affair" with stupid obese adulterer The Donald in 2006, during the time that The Donald's Slavic escort mail-order wife Melania had a 3-month old autistic baby boy named Barron. Although some argue that a rag called InTouch magazine had a story about that before in 2011. Also, another professional whore named Alana Evans said the Donald tried to persuade her to "have some fun" with The Donald and Stormy Daniels in 2006, in some kind of STD threeway like The Donald was Charlie Sheen or some shit. The Physician to the President, Ronny Jackson who is also a US Navy admiral and basically has to do whatever the Commander-in-Chief orders him to, said The Donald weighs 239 pounds and is in perfect health. So at this point it's probably safe to assume that The Donald is now HIV positive and/or has a syphilitic brain, which would explain...just about everything really. Some argue that the Stormy Daniels story could explain why Melania Trump reportedly had divorce papers already made up and ready to sign before The Donald's inauguration in January 2017, in addition to the billionarefucker Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen MacDougal. Although, after Melania eventually takes half, The Donald will be only be a multi-millionaire (like he already is, or not. Can the Russian mob give us a count?).
After The Donald had spent at least 100 days in office (and at least 200 days golfing), Clifford spilled the beans even though she had already accumulated six figures to be quiet like some paid-off Weinstein whore, and even though The Donald's Jew lawyer Michael Cohen set up a fake name corporation in Delaware, and paid her over $9,000 in hush money ($130,000) about a month before the 2016 Presidential Election for her to shut her goddamn whore mouth. But like most blackmail, the blackmailer always wants moar. And like all women, Clifford wants it both ways. How does she get to keep the money again if she spoke? Being a professional whore, Clifford could neither shut her fucking mouth nor shut her fucking legs, and in early 2018 just in time for The Donald's first State of the Union address, the story has made liberals vomit everywhere and has made "conservatives" masturbate furiously to videos of Clifford being a cumdumpster on Pornhub like the cucks they are. The silence from "conservatives" and the conservative media has been deafening. If Obama did it, conservatives would be running around with their hair on fire. Then again, Faux News was the home of sleazeballs Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly.
Highlights of the trashy story ripped from the Jerry Springer show include:
- The Donald forced Stormy Daniels to watch Shark Week with him for 3 hours
- The Donald is terrified of sharks
- The Donald hopes all the sharks die
- The Donald said professional cumdumpster Stormy Daniels reminded him of his daughter Ivanka
- The Donald likes to be spanked. He had Stormy Daniels spank him with a Forbes magazine from 2006 with a cover that featured The Donald and his daughterwife Ivanka, sure to be a collectible on eBay right now for over $9,000
- The Donald rawdogged pornstar Stormy Daniels, surely a disease-riddled whore. He didn't use a condom.
- She says The Donald is bad in bed, a lousy lay
- She said The Donald didn't give the kind of XXX-rated performance that a cum-receptacle like herself was used to
- She said she can describe his "junk perfectly"
- The Donald has a smaller than average penis. Much like his tiny hands
- The Donald had Stormy Daniels sign his 3 Wishes adult film DVD. Like he was some kind of cuck fan
- The Donald loved when Stormy Daniels made fun of him. Like some kind of cuck
- The Donald called Jenna Jameson a bimbo. Unlike Stormy Daniels
- Stormy Daniels felt bad that Trump cheated on Melania with her. Although apparently not bad enough to not be the other woman. And not bad enough to keep her whore mouth shut.
- The Donald said he thinks if he changed his hair he would lose his power and wealth (like Samson LOL)
- Incidentally, the hair-loss drug that The Donald takes has been linked with brokendick erectile dysfunction and depression
- The Donald promised her a condo in the fictional Trump Tower Tampa
- Stormy Daniels was thinking about running for Senate, with the slogan "Screwing People Honestly"
- Never trust anybody named "Stormy"
- Giving whores money won't even keep them quiet
- The Donald made Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and brain damage victim Big Ben "Raped Me In The Bathroom" Roethlisberger "promise to take care of her" and Big Ben walked her home
Famewhore and actual whore Stormy Daniels used her newfound fame to start a Make America Horny Again Tour, because she doesn't understand that she is a flabby disgusting whore starfucker and The Donald is an even flabbier starfucker and adulterer. Although, as the runaway success of Fifty Shades of Grey proved, women get turned on by the idea of fucking sexually aggressive billionaires and using them as ATMs and potentially getting half their moniez, which is why 9/20 white women with college voted for President Shithole over a woman, and why over 6/10 white women without college voted for President Trainwreck over a woman.
In early 2018, Democrats were invigorated by a potential President Oprah after she accepted the Cecil B. de Mille Award at the 2018 Golden Globe Awards. The Donald said Oprah would be fun, and that he would beat Oprah. Then Democrats remembered that Oprah helped sell 20 million copies of the magical thinking book The Secret, which monetized an ancient meme from Pinocchio ("when you wish upon a star...anything your heart desires will come to you"), and some lost interest. In response to the degenerate Stormy Daniels story, Democrats announced that the Democratic nominee for president in 2020 will be a great white shark. The shark will be present during all debates in a giant tank of water, with a stick at the bottom to make it feel like home. In addition to pinning their hopes on President Shark, Democrats also picked for their vice presidential nominee, Vice President Blockchain, to make up the Shark/Blockchain 2020 ticket, and that all campaign contributions could only be made in the joke currency Dogecoin, an attempt by liberals to weaponize the Doge meme versus the weaponized Pepe meme which some argue is the embodiment of Stephen Miller's wetdreams.
60 Minutes Interview
On March 25, 2018, the "news" program 60 Minutes on CBS, a network which previously aired the Late Show with David Letterman when Letterman was being blackmailed for fucking his employee "Smitty" before Letterman retired and later grew a Dexter-beard and later went on to host a Netflix show entitled My Next Guest where he interviewed the 44th President of the United States Black Jesus who lives nearby Tony Podesta who is a good friend of former House Speaker/child rapist Dennis Hastert who was released from prison in December 2017 around the time that child abuser Roy Moore narrowly lost an election to be Alabama Senator, will air an interview with the star of 100% Blondes, 2003 AVN Awards, 2004 AVN Awards, 2005 AVN Awards, 3 Wishes, About a Woman, American Dreams, American Girls 2, Angels of Mercy, Bait, Band Camp, Banned! Redhead Edition, Beautiful, Beaver Snacks, Best Friends, Best of Jessica Drake, Big Busted Goddesses of Las Vegas, Big Tit Sex 1, Bigger Than Your Head, Black Widow, Blonde Eating the Blonde, Blow, Bound, Busty Beauties 2, Buttman at Nudes a Poppin' 14, Calipornia, Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre, Cargo, Chicks Gone Wild 5, Class Act, Closer, Crime of Passion, Dirty Deeds, Dirty Minds, Ditzy Dykes, Divorcees, Double D Babes 3, Dreamgirls Gone Dirty, Dripping Wet Sex 4, Driven, Dual Air Bags, Escort, Eternity, Everybody Loves Big Boobies, Fairy Tale, Falling From Grace, Finally Legal 7, Forbidden, Girls Can't Think Straight 2, Girls Can't Think Straight 5, Girls Night, Grand Opening, Happy Endings, Heat, Hell on High Heels, Highway, Hot Cherry Pies, Hot Showers 6, House of Wicked, Hustler's Greatest Tits 2, I Know What You Did Last Night, I'm Into Red Heads, Immortal Love, Impulse, Internal Affairs, Island Fever 2, Island Girls, Joined At The Tit, Kink, Last Night, Let's Play Clit Hockey, Life of Riley, Lifestyle, Love in an Elevator, Love Potion 69, Love Those Curves, Mad Cow - Blonde Edition, Madam, Mind Phuk, Model Behavior, Money Shots 2, Monster Tits, Muse, Naked Hollywood 17 & 18, Naughty Pink, Neighbors, Not a Romance, Nothin' But Trouble, Nymphos, One, One Wild and Crazy Night, Only the Best of Teens 2, Operation Desert Stormy, Operation Tropical Stormy, Partly Stormy, Perfect Partner, Photo Club, Pin Ups, Porking With Pride 2, Porn Star, Portrait, Predator, Predator 2 - The Return, Predator 3 - The Final Chapter, Pretty Dangerous, Price of Lust, Princess - The Best of Shyla Stylez, Pussy Sweat, Real Sex Magazine - All Anal, Real Thing, Reflections, Reinvented, Ron Jeremy On The Loose Atlantic City, Secrets of the Velvet Ring, Sex Lies and Spies, Sex Therapy, Sexbots, Skin Deep, Slave to Love, Sleeping Around, Sleeping Beauty XXX - An Axel Braun Parody, Snatched, Space Nuts, Splendor, Spreading My Seed, Stormy and Her Horny Friends, Stormy Tonight, Summer Hummer, Suspicious Minds, Switch, Taken, Talking Shop, Tit Happens, Top 40 Adult Stars Collection 2, Tormented, Two, Unbridled, Unfaithful, United States of Ass, Vendetta, Voluptuous 3, Wanted, Watching Samantha, What Went Wrong, Whatever It Takes, What's a Girl Gotta Do?, When The Boyz Are Away The Girlz Will Play 7, Wicked, Wicked Digital Magazine, Wicked Digital Magazine 4, Wicked Divas - Stormy, Without You, Wow! That's What I Call Sex 9, Young and Anal, and Young Fun.
On that same day, a movie theater in Oakland, California will charge admission for a screening of the interview with the Beaver Snacks star. Previously, the lawyer for the star of Porking With Pride 2, Michael Avenatti, also made the rounds on various cable news networks. The lawyer for the star of Finally Legal 7 was asked by Mika Brzezinski if the star of Operation Desert Stormy had received any threats, and the lawyer for the the star of Everybody Loves Big Boobies said yes. The lawyer for the Space Nuts star was also asked by Mika Brzezinski if the Pussy Sweat star had received any physical threats, and the lawyer for the Tit Happens star said yes again. Avenatti, who represents the Nymphos star, said that Faux News wouldn't book him. Although later Faux News did book the lawyer for the star of Spreading My Seed. In some interview, the lawyer for the Sex Lies and Spies star held up a poster of Jewish lawyer Michael Cohen and asked "Where is this guy?" Well, if the dossier compiled by ex British spy Christopher Steele is any indication, Cohen is being blackmailed by Russia, possibly because his wife is Russian or some shit, go read the fucking thing. Blackmail? Wow, this is all just like that gay romcom Love, Simon, but with less iced coffee and interracial homosexual activity.
Last Thursday, a lie detector test conducted with the Naughty Pink star was released, and she passed the question whether or not the President who made a cameo on Sex and the City rawdogged her. The star of Stormy Tonight reportedly signed a non-disclosure-agreement (NDA), as did Jewish lawyer Michael Cohen, but apparently the host of The Apprentice never signed it, even though there was a line for him to sign it. The lawyer for the star of Falling From Grace sued, saying the hush money agreement was invalid because The Donald never signed it. Also, some notary in Texas reportedly failed to sign the hush agreement involving the star of Price of Lust. I'm not saying The Donald is vulnerable to blackmail or anything, but in addition to having an NDA, the star of Operation Tropical Stormy may also have a dress with Donald DNA on it, which apparently she has never washed in the last 12 years for some reason. Sources say that Michael Cohen used a Trump Organization email address during arrangements with the star of I Know What You Did Last Night. In March 2018, The Donald told conservative Charlie Kirk that he would tell his younger self at age 25 "don't run for president", like Lolita Express passenger Bubba the Rapist called him and told him to do, so he could be a "Pied Piper" candidate who could never win a general election, like Crooked Hillary, whose campaign chairman was John "pizza-related handkerchief" Podesta who was on the board of some Russian fucking thing, and whose brother Tony Podesta lives by Black Jesus and who also violated FARA like Paul Manafort who faces 305 years in prison, but you don't really hear much about Dennis Hastert's old buddy Tony these days do you?
The Blonde Eating the Blonde star may also reportedly have dick pics that The Apprentice host sent her. Speaking of The Apprentice, the son of the 45th President of the United States, Don Jr., reportedly had an affair with Celebrity Apprentice contestant Aubrey O'Day while he was married to Vanessa Trump. Some argue that O'Day's song "DJT" refers to Don Jr. Also, O'Day may or may not have talked about fucking Don Jr. on some sex podcast. Sources say that Vanessa Trump found sexts from Aubrey O'Day while Don Jr. was in the shower. Don Jr. reportedly liked Aubrey O'Day's "intellect." Last Thursday, Vanessa Trump filed for divorce from Don Jr., because she said he was a cheap or maybe because she lost her social life after The Donald won, and she later fled the country. After Wrestlemania "heel" The Donald accidentally won the 2016 Presidential Election, he was horrified, reportedly looked white as a ghost (very difficult for a lumpy orange to do), and Melania cried tears of grief. At some point, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, when asked about the star of Joined At The Tit, said The Donald won at arbitration or some shit. Later the Donald was reportedly upset with how Sarah "Swamp Thing" Huckabee Sanders handled questions about the star of Wow! That's What I Call Sex 9. Also, the "dad" of the star of One Wild and Crazy Night reportedly said that the President who appeared in WrestleMania 23 "would call all the time." Sources say that the star of Nothin' But Trouble talked about her jizztime with the man who made a cameo in The Little Rascals, on a radio show with Bubba the Love Sponge in 2007. At some point the star of Secrets of the Velvet Ring said she didn't even know why she had sex with the President who made a cameo in Zoolander, but he did offer her a spot on The Apprentice. Reportedly, the star of Big Busted Goddesses of Las Vegas said that fame from the sex scandal with a man who portrayed a VIP Patron in the 1998 film 54 is a "double-edged sword" for her career. Sources say that a friend of the star of When The Boyz Are Away The Girlz Will Play 7 now fears for her life.
When Trump lawyer Michael Cohen paid off the Monster Tits star, The Donald was referred to by the alias "David Dennison", a man who Donald Trump claims is a "very stable genius", but who ex-Secretary of State and former Exxon CEO and some Russian medal recipient Rex Tillerson said is a "fucking moron." The terms of the NDA for the Ditzy Dykes star reportedly said that every breach of the contract, which paid her $130,000 out of Michael Cohen's own pocket from his home equity line because Jewish lawyers are known for being so charitable, would result in a penalty of $1 million. Last Thursday, Jewish lawyer Michael Cohen or somebody, said that the Dual Air Bags star now owed him $20 million, which averages out to about 33 cents for every American who voted for Crooked Hillary. Also, multiple other women came out of the woodwork, saying they had signed NDAs too, with penalties of $10 million or something. And sources said that White House employees were all asked to sign NDAs that lasted forever or some shit, just like an innocent President would ask them to do. It is unknown whether former White House strategist Steve Bannon, who Cambridge Analytica reported to, signed such a "forever NDA." Cambridge Analytica, who was caught in hidden video by Channel 4 in Bongistan with the help from metrosexual whistleblower Christopher Wylie, reportedly offered to blackmail politicians using prostitutes, which is something I'm sure the KGB would never do during beauty pageants held in Moscow in 2013. After the hidden video of Cambridge Analytica was made public, Facebook lost $50 billion in market value, with red-eyed autismal Mark Zuckerberg losing over $9 billion.
Sidenote: Steve Bannon, a former Goldman Sachs Banker, who strongly endorsed sexual abuser of minors Roy Moore for Alabama Senator in 2017, previously persuaded Goldman Sachs and others to invest $60 million in Internet Gaming Entertainment aka IGE in February 2006, $30 million of it from Goldman Sachs's Principal Strategies Group, $20 million from Oak Investment Partners, and $10 million from Maverick Capital. IGE was involved with World of Warcraft gold-mining or some shit. Hank Paulson was CEO of Goldman Sachs from 1999 to May 2006 when Paulson left to become Treasury Secretary. COO Lloyd Blankfein became CEO of Goldman Sachs in May 2006 until March 2018. IGE operated from a skyscraper in Hong Kong and the poor Chinese goldfarmers sold World of Warcraft virtual goods for money, and the company reportedly made millions of dollars. Steve Bannon was reportedly involved with IGE for 6 years. IGE was founded in 2003 in an industrial district of Hong Kong by former child actor Brock Pierce. In April 2004, IGE grossed over $2.7 million selling virtual goods for 4 online games including EverQuest and Lineage II. In April 2005, revenue rose to $6.7 million. IGE later moved to a skyscraper called the Oxford House which also the location of CNN's Hong Kong office. Bannon became involved with IGE in the middle of 2005 with a goal of taking the company public. In the same month that Bannon joined IGE, IGE opened an office in Shanghai. Steve Bannon visited the Hong Kong location every few months. Most of the companies that owned the online games banned trading real money for virtual goods, and IGE's VP of business development said Steve Bannon came on to "try to legitimize the business." Former IGE executive Greg Jelniker said IGE in Shanghai would consolidate accounts of Chinese sweatshop gold farmers making as little as 25 cents per hour to grind, and transfer the gold to IGE in Hong Kong. IGE employees in Hong Kong would create in-game avatars using the names and home addresses of US residents picked randomly out of a phone directory, according to a Hong Kong operations manager Michael Angeles. Jelniker said IGE would spend $20,000 a month on dial-up phone service to connect to US servers, making it look like they were using US computers instead of Hong Kong computers. As of October 2005, IGE was grossing $8.5 million per month, with over $5 million of it due to World of Warcaft. Jelniker said some gamers would spend $10,000 for fully-outfitted WoW accounts. David Christensen, who was based in IGE's LA office, met with Blizzard executives who still rejected real-money transactions in their game because it led to massive inflation. In May 2006, Blizzard cracked down harder on "cheating" and said they had banned over 30,000 accounts, which made IGE suffer a huge loss. IGE said they would no longer use the word "farmer" to refer to their suppliers, and instead use the term "professional gamer." As of January 2007, IGE was losing over $500,00 per month, and wasn't paying farmers. In April 2007, unpaid goldfarmers protested outside the IGE Shanghai office, and a man brought a fake gun into their office. In April 2007, IGE sold its virtual gold division to Atlas Technology Group. In May 2007, IGE faced a class-action lawsuit brought by a gamer in Florida for violating the WoW subscriber agreement for IGE earning millions of dollars by selling World of Warcraft virtual goods produced by cheap third world labor. IGE settled the lawsuit and promised not to sell WoW gold for 5 years. In June 2007, Brock Pierce resigned as IGE CEO. IGE renamed itself to Affinity Media and Steve Bannon took over as IGE's CEO in June 2007, with a new focus on chat rooms and forums for gamers. According to Josh Green, Steve Bannon became fascinate by the pressure that gamers put on Blizzard as they criticized IGE in chat rooms, saying Bannon said "these rootless white males had monster power." In August 2007, Blizzard asked the Florida AG to investigate companies trying to illegally profit from videogames. Around December 2007 or so, IGE was issued a subpoena to see if they were violating Florida's Deceptive and Unfair Trade Practices Act. IGE showed they had exited the cash for virtual goods business. In September 2008 the case was closed. Steve Bannon was CEO of Affinity until 2011 and also an associated company called IMI Exchange in Seoul which ran an auction site where gamers could trade virtual goods with each other. In 2012, Steve Bannon started running Breitbart News, until Bannon joined the Trump campaign in 2016. In summer 2016 IMI was sold for $42 million to a public company, and Affinity had owned 6% of it. In 2016, Bannon made between 6 figures and 7 figures from Affinity Media. IGE founder, Brock Pierce, who portrayed Gordon Bombay at the age of 10 in The Mighty Ducks and D2: The Mighty Ducks and played Duke in Problem Child 3, and Brock Pierce, who was accused of sexually abusing three young actors in 2000, is a creepy Pedowood sleazeball and supposedly a ringleader of Pedowood "after parties", and was a member of the Clinton Global Initiative before that shut down in April 2017. Accused sexual abuser Brock Pierce, who reportedly lived in a mansion where Pedowood director Bryan Singer allegedly abused an underaged boy, was also a Bitcoin Foundation Director from May 2014 until the Foundation announced it was insolvent in July 2015, and Pierce now wants to raise $1 billion for "block.com" which is making an "Initial Coin Offering" for some Buttcoin clone built on top of Ethereum called EOS or some shit. In February 2018, Brock Pierce was named by Forbes as one of the top 20 richest people in cryptocurrencies, with an estimated net worth of $700 million to $1.1 billion. The successor company to IGE was Digital Entertainment Network aka DEN where Brock Pierce was involved as a partner with Marc Collins-Rector and Chad Schackley. Collins-Rector and Schackley previously founded an ISP called Concentric Network in 1991. Concentric was sold in 1995, and with an additional $88 to 100 million in venture capital, DEN was started. DEN was an early online streaming video company before Youtube became a thing, but they couldn't deliver the technology they promised their investors. Instead, the first show produced for DEN was called "Chad's World" in 1998, about a teen boy questioning his sexuality who moves into a mansion in the LA area with 3 adult men including his older brother and his older brother's boyfriend. One person who watched the pilot and 5 unaired episodes described Chad's World as a "gay pedophile version of Silver Spoons", saying "I first though it was some sick fantasy of theirs." Chad's World was produced by Brock Pierce who paid $12 million in salaries for the show, it was written by Marc Collins-Rector and Matt Odgers, supposedly loosely based on Schackley's life, directed by James D.R. Hickox, and starred Brian Stark as "Chad", and Daniel Steger as "John", and Kevin Derkash as "Paul" the closeted male teen character, and Seann William Scott as "Jim" (based on Collins-Rector) before Scott played Stifler in American Pie. Some argue Scott was David Geffen's "boy candy." Marc Collins-Rector, Chad Shackley, and Brock Pierce lived in Encino, California at a place they referred to as "M&C Estate", which stood for Marc and Chad. Michael Egan was reportedly hired by DEN when he was 15. Incidentally, Michael Egan, who sued Bryan Singer for sexually abusing him as a 17-year-old teenager in 1999, was in the same high school class as Scott Shackley, the younger brother of Chad Shackley, and Scott Shackley introduced Egan to Chad Shackley and Marc Collins-Rector. Egan said he told the LAPD and FBI that he was a victim of an underage sex ring in Hollywood in 1999 and 2000. Parties were held at "M&C Estate" where teen boys were reported given drugs and alcohol and there was a a "rule" that visitors had to be nude in the pool area. "Mike E." said he was forced to have anal sex and oral sex with Collins-Rector, Shackley, and Pierce while on drugs which were secretly given to him. Shackley reportedly was 15 when he met 31-year-old Collins-Rector on an Internet bulletin board. There were rumors that Collins-Rector was involved in IGE founded by Pierce, and IGE supposedly had revenue of $250 million a year at one time. In 1999, a lawsuit was filed in New Jersey accusing Marc Collins-Rector of sexually abusing a 13-year-old boy between 1993 and 1996. Shortly after, Collins-Rector, Shackley, and Pierce resigned from DEN, which filed for bankruptcy. In 2000, a lawsuit about sexual abuse filed in Los Angeles involved plaintiffs that were 3 DEN employees that were Michael Egan, Mark Ryan, and Alexander Burton who played Pyro in the X-Men film from 200 directed by Bryan Singer. Other plaintiffs in the suits against Collins-Rector include Ben Lipkin who was 15 at the time, another 15-year-old named Ryan G who Collins-Rector provided with alcohol, at least $12,000 in clothing and gifts, at least 15 flights from Bay City Michigan to Los Angeles between 1996 and 1997, and fondled him, and engaged in oral sex with him. At this rate, Hollywood might give Marc Collins-Rector an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay like Call Me By Your Name won. In 2014, lawsuits were filed in Hawaii which mentioned Marc Collins-Rector, Bryan Singer, and Hollywood executives Garth Ancier, Gary Goddard (who reportedly sexually abused ER star Anthony Edwards), and David Neuman. Marc Collins-Rector is a convicted sex offender whose conviction for child sexual abuse is addressed in the 2014 documentary An Open Secret. Collins-Rector reportedly sexually abused children and coerced them using guns and drugs. DEN was operated out of a mansion in Los Angeles, where Collins-Rector and his his gay buttbuddy Chad Schackley and Brock Pierce hosted parties where Hollywood's homosexual A-list attended. Teen boys were sexually assaulted at those parties by Collins-Rector and others. In 2000 a federal grand jury indicted Collins-Rector, and Collins-Rector and Shackley and Pierce fled to Spain, where Interpol arrested them in 2002 in the southern beach city of Marbella, where CP and guns and machetes were found. In 2003, Collins-Rector was extradited to the US, where he eventually pled guilty to child enticement and registered as a sex offender and evidently moved to Boca Raton, Florida. In 2006, Collins-Rector was given permission to fly to Bongistan to get treatment for a brain tumor, and he renounced is citizenship. As of 2008, Collins-Rector was living in the Dominican Republic, and as of 2014 he lives in a port city in Europe using the name "Morgan Van Phoenix" and "Mark Collins."
Last Thursday, on January 30, 2018, after The Donald's first State of the Union address, where he made a North Korean man stand up and shake his crutches, former Man Show star Jimmy Kimmel interviewed the star of Let's Play Clit Hockey where she coyly evaded most of his questions (as if the star of Young and Anal has any modesty left), giving all the viewers blue balls in televised form. Around that time, a "furious" Slovenian First Lady went to a spa at Mar-a-Lago, which probably used Marine One or some shit, and that trip reportedly cost taxpayers $64,000, which is significantly less than the airfare that Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke have rung up. Mar-a-Lago is the Florida sleaze shed where Ghislaine Maxwell (the daughter of Ukrainian-Jew and British Member of Parliament Robert Maxwell, who Ari Ben-Menashe claimed was really a Mossad agent, but probably not one of the Mossad agents who worked for Harvey Weinstein, and Robert Maxwell also tried to buy News of the World but his attempt failed and Australian tycoon Rupert Murdoch gained control of it, and Murdoch is behind Fox News and he was named acting CEO of Fox News in July 2016 after Roger Ailes resigned due to sexual harassment, and Fox News is the only media The Donald consumes because he doesn't read and now he hires his cabinet from it, anyway, Robert Maxwell's body was found floating naked in the Atlantic Ocean near the Canary Island in 1991 near his yacht the Lady Ghislaine and he was buried in Jerusalem which President Donald declared to be the capital of Israel, which got some people killed), anyway, at Mar-a-Lago Ghislaine Maxwell, who attended the wedding of Chelsea Clinton, groomed jailbait for billionaire Trump-pal and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein who would then fly them to his private island Little Saint James among the US Virgin Islands, also known as "Orgy Island", an island which 42nd President of the United States Bill Clinton has been to several times and also Kevin Spacey and an island to which Donald Trump referred to at CPAC one year but its unclear if Robert Mueller is aware of it, anyway, Epstein would fly them to Orgy Island to his weird Egyptian sex dungeon where he would jerk off on a massage table while underage girls gave him topless oil massages or some shit and vibrators were involved and Epstein was later convicted and slept a few nights in jail in Florida after getting off easy thanks to Alex Acosta who The Donald picked to be his Labor Secretary, anyway, Epstein reportedly owns Wexner Mansion in New York City, a location where at least one lawsuit claims a President who has appeared on WWE Raw raped an underage girl during the 1990s, a time period when that man's golf buddy and fellow rapist Bill "Bubba" Clinton was President, who earlier as Governor of Arkansas released CIA drug runner Barry Seal after he flew illegal weapons shipments to the Contras in Nicaragua and cocaine deliveries back to Mena Arkansas which was part of some Ollie North Iran-Contra shit during the presidency of Hollywood film cowboy and Alzheimers patient Ronald Reagan...anyway, the 90s was when fellow rapist Bill "Bubba" Clinton was the 42nd President of the United States and involved in some three-quarters-of-a-million sex scandal settlement with Paula Jones, and he was busy sticking cigars up the cunts of fat White House interns who like to wear berets and also never wash their cum-stained dresses and Ken Starr was investigating all this and something about David Brock and all this was years before Ken Starr later defended Jeffrey Epstein, and Crooked Hillary was First Lady at the time, sometime after Vince Foster's death was made to look like a suicide, which is something that sounds like the Chicago mob would do, but what would her father Hugh Rodham know about that?
Also, Alana Evans (who appeared with Stormy Daniels in the "films" Calipornia, Internal Affairs, Let's Play Clit Hockey, United States of Ass, Whatever It Takes, and When The Boyz Are Away The Girlz Will Play 7) says that in 2006 The Donald tried to convince her to have some fun with him and also the star of Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre, saying The Donald invited her to a hotel room wearing only his "tighty whities." According to Alana Evans, the President who has appeared on Wrestlemania was interested in a threesome with Stormy Daniels and the star of 100% Blowjobs 16, 100% Blowjobs 30, 100% Blowjobs 32, 18 and Confused 3, 4 Hours of Super Sex Movies 8, Action Sports Sex 2, Action Sports Sex 3, Against Her Will, All Access Anal, All Anal 3, All Day Sucker, All Of Me, All Star Doggy Stylin', American Ass 3, Anal Club 5, Anal Girls 1 - Anal Girls on the Loose, Anal Infantry, Anal Overdose 2, Analmatic, Analog, And The Envelope Please - Dasha, And The Envelope Please - Sunrise Adams, Anusthesia, Ass Bang, Ass Eaters Unanimous 2, Ass Masters, Ass Up Hookers; Ass, Food, Lodging; Assentials, Assfensive 3, Assfensive 6, Astounding Ass Pounding, Baby Dolls Get Violated, Babysitter 26, Babysitter 8, Banned! 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It was also reported that Faux News had a story about The Donald's lawyer Michael Cohen paying off the Summer Hummer star before the 2016 Presidential Election, but Faux News shelved the story for some strange reason. Sources say that the 45th President of the Unites States of America had compared the Hot Cherry Pies star to his daughter Ivanka. Similarly, the Donald had reportedly said that Playboy Playmater of the Year Karen McDougal, who said she was "sorry" to Melania Trump for having a 10-month long fuckfest with The Celebrity Apprentice host during her marriage to The Donald which began with The Donald fucking her then offering to pay her money like she was some kind of Russian whore, was "beautiful" like his daughter Ivanka. It is unknown if the Wrestlemania star ever asked McDougal to spank him with a Forbes magazine with Ivanka on the cover, like he asked the Young and Anal star to. Evangelist Franklin Graham defended the man who made a cameo in Home Alone 2 against reports involving the Money Shots 2 star. InTouch Magazine also published a 5,000 word interview with the star of Monster Tits about sexual intercourse with The Donald. Vice President and conservative Christian Mike Pence denied that the Wrestlemania star ever had an affair with the Calipornia star. The lawyer for the star of Not a Romance says that some incidents happened during the Trump presidency. Sources say the man who made a cameo in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps moved the lawsuit regarding the Sexbots star to federal court.
Some argue that General McMaster, The Donald's 2nd National Security Adviser after Michael Flynn who lied to the FBI and who on Inauguration Day was on a cellphone with Russians saying something was "a go", was fired soon after criticizing Russia, which recently "elected" Putin again for another 6 years, and later hothead John Bolton, who believes in pre-emptive strikes against North Korea and who had a big hard-on for the Iraq War which The Donald ran against, replaced McMaster as National Security Adviser after learning he got hired by a tweet on a platform run by Jack Dorsey who ISIS has called for the head of. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson also recently criticized Russia before he was fired the next day, while he was either in Africa or on the toilet or on the toilet in Africa, to be replaced with CIA Director Mike Pompeo, who also has a hard-on for attacking North Korea. So if The Donald, who made a cameo on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, attacks North Korea soon, to distract from his bottomless pit of sex scandals, you'll know why Bolton and Pompeo were chosen. The Donald is currently filling his cabinet with people who appear on Fox News like hothead John Bolton, because the Donald is in his fucking 70s what did you think he was going to do? That 70s Show in the White House is currently looking for people who have "the look" and come out of "central casting", ever since Hope Hicks abandoned the Trump Titanic after reports that her boyfriend Rob Porter likes to give black eyes to women and pull them out of showers while they're wet and naked so he could yell at them.
The "man" who made a cameo in Ghosts Can't Do It, and won a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actor for doing so, is currently recasting for season 2 of The Purge: Fox News Celebrity Apprentice, to distract from the historical fact, which can now appear in textbooks about American history, that the 45th President of the United States of America fucked a woman who starred in a film entitled the United States of Ass, which some argue is what USA now stands for whenever rednecks chant "USA! USA!" at Trump rallies, like in states in The South like Kentucky, Tennessee, and Florida which don't know if child marriage should be legal or not. "Vote for Roy Moore", he said, years after appearing on Suddenly Susan in 1997 with Brooke Shields in the episode "I'll See That and Raise You Susan." Years later, Kathy Griffin who appeared with The Donald on an episode of Suddenly Susan in 1997, appeared in a photoshoot by Tyler Shields posing with the fake bloody decapitated head of Donald Trump, which isn't as gory as the work by Marina "Spirit Cooking" Abramovic which is enjoyed by Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman John Podesta and also Comet Ping Pong owner and Tony Podesta friend James Alefantis, but it's close. You can't make this shit up.
This Whole Trump Rusher Thing With Trump And Russia
Zdravstvuj! Greetings comrades! Please to be welcoming Donald J. Trump, Amerifat's first Russian vice president, second in command and bottom bitch to Amerifat's first Russian president, Vladimir Putin! In Soviet Russia, President Trump elects you! When you're a star, they let you do it, you can do anything. Grab the cunt for Red October!
Donald Drumpf is a billionaire millionaire rapist moron with tiny hands who can't even run a casino where drunk retards just give you money, which even a drunken Injun can manage. The Donald is currently a reality TV host of a shitshow in the White House (and 20% on golf courses) and father to one or more autistic boys. Donald Drumpf is also a grandpa conman with Alzheimers who is being blackmailed by Russians. This makes Trump quite a useful Russian tool and useful idiot for VodkaVille. Donald Drumpf is also the first cult leader to become president in Amerifat, if you ignore Freemason George Washington, and Skull and Bones member George H. W. Bush. Members of the Trumpcult think he can do no wrong, or don't give a fuck because they are busy nodding off on heroin or stealing catalytic converters to fuel their meth addiction. Trump cultists have all drunk the Orange Koolaid, and have all decided to never abandon ship, and will go down with on their fat Sea Org captain. The Donald is the new Jim Jones, and the Trump base is Jonestown. The Republican Party in Amerilard is no longer a political party, it's a suicide cult. In the future, Trump's children will have to change their last names just like people with the last name Hitler had to. The number of pathetic Republican cuck politicians that Trump has insulted and destroyed and yet they still blow him is astounding. Perhaps because their voters think the Earth is 6,000 years old and/or flat, Trump is naturally the only person they trust because a bunch of morons had a prayer circle around Trump one day, who may or may not be the Antichrist, but who's to say, can we ever really know anything really?
The leverage the Russians have over Trump makes the Trump administration a pro-Russian regime and a somewhat successful Russian coup, if not for The Donald's 24/7 stream of verbal diarrhea. But constantly shitting on the walls as Amerifat's first Chaotic Evil president does have one important effect: distraction and "muddying" the waters during a "Look over there!" presidency where Russians would please to be lowering sanctions kthx. Donald Drumpf is like a guy who thinks he is invisible after he takes his clothes off, even after shitting into his tiny hands and smearing shit all over his fat body before going around grabbing some pussy with his shit-covered hands. This is the point where a Trumptard will yell "8 years", as if they are a moronic sports fan who painted their face gold by huffing paint and who watches grown men play with balls, and/or a fucktard who thinks "meme magic" is real. Look, idiot Don Jr. is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Jared Kushner is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Sleazeball Paul Manafort is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Hayseed Jeff Sessions is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Michael Flynn is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Donald J. Trump could shoot somebody on 5th Avenue, but he's a good buy, he dindu nuffin. Technically, that makes Donald Drumpf America's second black president, which Trump voters may find disturbing.
Also known as Amerifat's first Troll-In-Chief or Roaster-In-Chief or Mental-Patient-In-Chief, Donald Drumpf is what happens if L. Ron Hubbard was still alive, but was fatter and more orange and had a reality show for over a decade and cheated on Melania with airhead Playboy bunnies, and if Tom Cruise and John Travolta were replaced by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and Geraldo and Brit Hume and millions of mouth-breathing NASCAR and WWE fans. But much like Scientology, some former cult followers have woken the fuck up and realized their former leader is a conman. Or maybe a plant by Bill Clinton to ruin the Republican Party. The shit that falls out of Donald Trump's mouth and the mouth of his swampmonster press secretary/roller derby bruiser Sarah (who replaced Sean "Hide In the Bushes" Spicer rather than be a mother to her daughter) is only slightly less plausible than Lord Xenu and body thetans. Further cementing the fact that Trumptards are opioid addict retards with black lung and/or wrestlefans, The Donald chose the wife of Vince McMahon, Linda McMahon, to head the small business administration. Trumpfags, which include ancient turtle Mitch McConnell, and ventriloquist dummy Paul Ryan, and coward House Republicans, respond to The Donald like boot-licking cucks as if they lived in Best Korea, since they know that narcissistic maniacs love flattery and sycophants. Like former White House Chief of Staff Rind Peebutt said, it's a "blessing" to be in the presence of a Russian King who is currently suffering dementia, with no child in sight to say the emperor wears no clothes, because Russia banned the US adoption of Russian children because Hillary Clinton was hoarding them all for some reason.
When the Donald is not being told what to do by his Jewish son-in-law with a faggot ass voice Jared Kushner, or wearing a yamulka, or visiting the Wailing Wall, or being told what to do by his Jewish lawyer Michael Cohen, or leaking classified info given to him by Mossad, or being told what to do by his Jewish lawyer Marc Kasowitz, The Donald is busy filling his cabinet with Jews from Goldman Sachs and/or going to their weddings, like Secretary of the Treasury and Skull and Bones member Steve Mnuchin, whose great grandfather was a diamond dealer Jew born in Russia. Mnuchin also formed SFM with George Soros, and invested in Trump Honolulu and Trump Chicago, and is registered to vote in both California and New York, and was an executive producer for capeshit like Suicide Squawk, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Jewstice, The Jewgo Batman Movie, and Wonder Woman, and who donated money to Democrats Al "Manbearpig" Gore, Crooked Hillary, Kenyan Muslim Obongo, Uppity Black Lady Kamala Harris, and Republicans Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and Donald Trump. Much like senile Ronald Reagan, peace be upon him, and Trump Sr. who also had Alzheimers, The Donald has spent his twilight years spewing word salad from his shrinking brain, having a memory worse than a goldfish, and then paying spineless and/or psychopathic amoral weasels to rationalize all his bullshit away. Look everybody, he already made American great again! So easy!
Whether it's son-in-law "adviser" Jared Kushner who met with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya and Russian GRU member Rinat Akhmetshin and Russian translator Anatoli Samochornov and Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak and Russian oligarch Sergey Gorkov who is head of Russia's state-owned VEB bank which is under sanctions and conveniently forgot all about it and committed a felony by not mentioning it, or his wife Ivanka who went to Moscow to scout for locations for Trump Tower Moscow before Russian sanctions put an end to that, or former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort meeting with Natalia Veselnitskaya and Rinat Akhmetshin and Anatoli Samochornov and GRU member Konstantin Kalimnick and forgetting all about it, or doofus Don Jr. who met with Russian government lawyers at the request of Russian "pop star" Emin Agalarov who is the son of Russian oligarch Aras Agalarov and forgot all about it, or Attorney General Jeff Sessions who met with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak in his own office and conveniently forgot all about it and committed perjury by lying about it, or Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross who has ties with Russia, or campaign faggot Carter Page who met with Russians and conveniently forgot all about it, or skin cancer victim Roger Stone who spoke with Russians and forgot all about it, or former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn who took money from Russia and conveniently forgot all about it, or Secretary of Education and head trauma victim Betsy DeVos whose brother/mercenary Erik Prince of Blackwater set up a secret backchannel with MBZ in the Seychelles with Russia, or Secretary of State and former Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson who got the Medal of Friendship from Russia, or FBI Director nominee Chris Wray who may potentially get a 10-year term and is or was a partner at a law firm that represents Russia's national oil company Rosneft, fat Americans can trust that the Trump administration has Russia Amerifat's interests at heart, unlike that pinko commie Obongo who wiped his unAmerican black ass with the Murican flag on a daily basis! Make America Red Again! But the longest serving FBI director after crossdresser J. Edgar Hoover, Robert Mueller, is on the case, appointed by Jewish Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. And Robert Mueller previously worked at WilmerHale which represents Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, so you know he'll be impartial. Trump has at least 3 lawyers, Trump's lawyer Michael Cohen has a hired a lawyer, Don Jr. has hired a laywer, Vice President and Sealab 2021 star Mike Pence has hired a lawyer when he's not forming a PAC to become President, and Jared Kushner has hired lawyers but at least one has dropped out. The Donald has proved to be quite the job creator, giving struggling Jews the lawyer jobs they need to provide for their spoiled brat whiny kids. Steve Bannon knows!
Some argue that the Trump administration has more Russian ties than the losing Hillary administration would have, although the Uranium One deal, and Bill Clinton's $500k speech in Moscow, and John Podesta owning shares in some Russian company and sitting on the board of some Russian bullshit, and his brother Tony Podesta taking money from the same entity as Paul Manafort and also Sberbank and failing to register as a foreign agent just like Flynn and Manafort and trying to lower Russian sanctions, does cast doubt on that. Surrounding himself with people with Russian ties, and Jews like Jared Kushner, Michael Cohen, Marc Kasowitz, and others, the two countries on this planet that like Trump the most are naturally Israel and Russia. Donald Trump has been in bed with Russians for a long period of time, first by sexually violating Ivana Trump which resulted in his daughter Ivanka Trump who Donald would very much like to fuck for a long period of time, and later in Moscow, which the KGB videotaped for purposes of leverage. Another person that VodkaTown has leverage over is Michael Cohen, a Jewish lawyer for Trump who is married to a Russian and her father is a property developer in Moscow. And also Jared Kushner, a Jewish Jew who is billions of dollars in debt and wanted money from Russia, like the kind of money that Don Jr. and/or Eric said Donald Trump got from Russia over the last 30 years, because nobody in their right mind would lend money to Donald Trump or be his lawyer. After fatass Chris Christie put Jared Kushner's father in prison, in part for hiring a prostitute to fuck his own brother-in-law and videotaping it and sending it to his wife and sister, Jared Kushner paid over 1.8 billion dollars for 666 5th Avenue, which is incidentally the Mark of the Beast for anyone keeping track, like redneck Trump voters. Inside 666 5th Avenue is a shadowy smoke-filled room called the Havana Room, where Trump Campaign Chair Paul Manafort met with Konstantin Kalimnick of the GRU in August 2016 in order to do perfectly legal and moral and ethical and totally not collusion business deals with Russia. Jared Kushner, who is a totally ethical Jew btw, also tried to set up a secret backchannel with Russians by using Russian facilities and also met with Russian oligarch Sergey Gorkov of sanctioned Russian bank VEB because he doesn't know how to real estate and needs more Jew Gold, and he conveniently forgot about that too! In addition, Donald Trump owes millions of dollars to Deutsche Bank which has laundered over $10 billion dollars from Russia, and incidentally Jared Kushner is also involved with Deutsche Bank.
Some argue that Donald Trump was a plan by golf buddy Bill Clinton to destroy the Republican brand forever, much like the Clintons destroyed America, in part due to Bill passing the Telecommunications Act of 1996 which created the propaganda echo chambers MSNBC (whose sister company NBC featured Trump on The Apprentice for at least 14 seasons) and Faux News (known for only hiring lobotomy patients and hot bimbos, and the resulting decades of sexual harassment). Thanks to fellow rapist Bill Clinton, who should have drowned when he was 19, Faux News is firmly in place and is doing its duty to inform senior citizens and rednecks that Donald Trump is the greatest president in the history of forever and anything bad that anybody says about Trump is fake news. In perhaps Donald Trump's greatest accomplishment in his life, he used Jewjitsu to turn the term "fake news" into a club against all his critics just like a good dictator, and has successfully weaponized it after being gifted it by Democrats trying to wave away Podesta emails about pizza-related handkerchiefs that The Donald apparently has no interest in looking into. Other than his appropriation of the term "fake news" to maintain his heroin-injecting base, Donald Trump makes George W. Bush look like a saint and a genius, and makes baby Reagan cry.
Dos vdanya!
How can you stop Orange Hitler from grabbing your pussy
The Democrats has to regroup and regain the trust of the working class and make a effort to help them. They have to drop identity politics and try to appeal to many as well as kicking out Social Justice Warriors from their party. Liberals and Conservatives have to stop shouting at each other and try to listen to each other and understand each other's problems. People have start caring about their fellow man and rebuild their communities. Corporations bring jobs back to the United States and start people a means of having a living. The blacks and whites come togather and agree on OJ Simpson was guilty, which ends the race war. The Justice system is reformed and everyone is happy.
Oh wait, what the fuck, are you kidding me, you must be high to dream this shit up, thanks California for finally legalizing weed. We are fucked beyond repair, our politics are more toxic, there is more tribalism, everyone is either a full blown Nazi or a whining castrated SJW, we are so fucked that there could be another civil war but oh wait, since our nation is full of fat fucks, there will be no civil war.
Stack up on guns, food, weed and barricade your homes. Store cash under your beds and buckle up motherfuckers, Donald Drumpf is gonna give us the craziest ride of 8 years of your life.
Oh you think he will only last 4, think again maggot, the Democrats are whining little bitches and will no way in hell will bend over for Bernie Sanders to become the nominee cause they know he will win but they will lose all that money given to them from the elitist fucktards on Wall Street and the Jews. They will spite their face to stop Bernie. Kanye West will not run till 2024 because surprise surprise idiot, he loves Donald Drumpf. The Libertarians won't even win a single state in 2020 unless Rand Paul joins them and steals Kentucky. The Greens will have Jill Stein euthanized after submitting her to a death panel.
You bleeding hearts were warned to vote for Clinton but it was MUH EMAILS and you were too lazy to get off your asses because every liberal news source you watched said that she had a 200% chance of beating this chump and forgetting this is America not Iraq.
The Pussificiation of America as the Great Old Fuck George Carlin called it eons ago
Quotes
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Videos
It's fucking over
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Gallery
Photoshops
Cartoons
Captions
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Inside the White House
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Donald's cat.
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Donald's rat.
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Bateman endorses Trump.
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Donald moves on women like a "bitch".
Drumpf Supporters
Miscellaneous
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Hebrew writing plaque in Donald Trump's office - another proof that he into Jewry
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Trump giving handshake to Jewred Kushner
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Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
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It's real like your waifu's orgasms.
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Back to the Future Predicted Trump as President only off by 1 year. That's heavy.
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Proof that you can ruin food by simply pointing at it.
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Trump pals around with his friend Rudy Ghouliani.
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In capitalist America, pussy grabs YOU!
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Trump gets pwned on Twitter.
See Also
- Drumpf article by white alt-right autistic shitlords
- Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this
- Adolf Hitler - drumpf is LITERALLY HITLER!!!! my profesor seid so -.- drumpfs a FACIST
- Bernie Madoff
- Bernie Sanders
- Blaming China
- Business
- Chelsea Clinton
- Dolan Trump
- Fired
- God
- Hillary Clinton
- Jews
- Money
- Roseanne Barr Of course, he'd be a fan of hers
- Rosie
- The Man
- The True God
- Weasel words
- Pindos
External links
External links of White Supremacy
- The Great White Hope
- Is Trump our Last Chance? (probably)
- Trump's unwelcome support
- 10 Dark Secrets of Trump
- How the Trump regime was manufactured by a war inside the Deep State
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Donald Drumpf is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me. |
Featured article March 5 & 6, 2016 | ||
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Donald Drumpf | Succeeded by Alison Rapp |