Jon Schweppe

Jon Schweppe (Powerword: Jonathan David Schweppe, born 1988), is an USA politician; He is unfortunately, from that foul generation of millennials that were the first of the generations after Generation X to focus on "feelings over freedom".

Schweppe is one of the many acolytes of USA President Donald Trump that has accepted the sacred duty of protecting us from the inane liberal ideas of pronouns, and people having a right of privacy - oh wait. Schweppe, wanting to tirelessly seek the truth, has also exposed the bias that the USA Department of Education has, under the Biden administration, in leveling fines and penalties against Christian institutions and career colleges compared to public universities.

Schweppe achieved a bit of unwanted internet fame, when on March 1st, 2026 he idiotically challenged X users with anime profile pictures and hags, stating that they didn't have what it takes to stand against the current trend of Americans wanting a federal requirement that Pornographic sites be made to have some form of Age Verification. To ensure that he would fully kicked the hornets' nest, Schweppe made the mistake of saying that anime-fans and middle-aged-women are equal to the lowest form of humanity that Un-Natural Selection has produced by calling these two groups Furries; posting "The children will be protected from your weird furry shit."

Is he brave... or just stupid?

That's why we are here. With you being the mentally-challenged rube that you are, and incapable of making a decision on your own, it is our function to be the ones that tell you how to think - with satire and lulz, of course.

American Principles Project

After quitting his job at the FTC, (some say that he was fired but have been wrong before), Schweppe became senior advisor to the American Principles Project (APP) as of January 2026.

The APP is a brave social welfare organization that has picked up the mantle of advocating for family values, an idea that was lost sometime around the year of 2015 when people felt that gays and dykes should be allowed to "marry". The whole plan of gays being allowed to adopt children was designed by that wonderful, first black, secretly Muslim USA President, Barack Hussein Obama. Believing that the whole process of molesting kids should be streamlined, Barack set out to make some changes. Why should these homos go out to find a kid and face possible Legal issues when the American government can just give them one to take home and keep in a dog kennel so that they won't be able to escape and can be a victim to the gay's desire's 24\7?

The function of the APP is to get voters off of their 300-pound asses and to go vote; Allegedly by educating them about the eroding values happening since the average voter turned apathetic toward politics.

Little old ladies and veterans don't have the numbers to counter the brainwashed, woke Americans that have put 42 Muslim murderers into federal level positions like Rashida Tlaib. These Devil-worshiping few have made it their goal to further the erosion of America's family values by promoting ideas like little boys should be allowed to be little girls or further their secret plan of reducing white American numbers by promoting and ensuring the legality of abortion so when the Brown invasion does happen, there will be no one there to stand up against this Pagan religion of Islam when they come to snatch our daughters off of their tricycles and turn them into breeders to increase their Unholy numbers or to drain the blood from their little bodies ,because little girl blood and hearts are cooking ingredients in bread for these camel-riding sick fucks.

The APP understands, that right now, it is a rabbit trying to stand against a lion as your average Americunt has been placated by the current decadence that can be ordered on a smart phone and delivered to their front door by DoorDash. The APP has made it their goal to educate the average slack-jawed American, hoping to get them to the voting booths to use their vote to bring back those glorious days of the 1950s when blacks knew their place and segregation wasn't a distant memory.

App Store Accountability Act

This is the money shot kiddies.

Our good man Schweppe has been running from state to state with his Dick hanging out crying, What about the children? like a troon that sneaks into an elementary school, girls' restroom and has been waiting patiently for the next bathroom break so that he can lift up his skirt in front of a large group of underage girls because he has a bad need to cum all over someone that can't fight back.

The App Store Accountability Act or ASAA that Schweppe has been championing makes the argument that children can not consent or enter contracts without parental approval. First and foremost, this act is about Money, Money Money! Schweppe isn't really making this aspect of the ASAA transparent because the ASAA will make parents accountable for when their little Sweetheart downloads an app from Google or Apple and runs up a $10,000 bill from purchasing micro transactions because, as the app was downloaded by the child, the parents can refuse to pay on the grounds that because a minor downloaded and signed up for the app they're not responsible. It's being pushed because Schweppe is in the pocket of Google and Apple and both want to make sure that they get paid because each year, they lose Billions of revenue. It's like in the 1980s and the 1990s when 1-900 numbers were popular. A $10,000 bill appears on your phone bill, you blame your kid for it, you get out of paying it and get a 1-900 number block put on your account so it can't happen again.

How Schweppe and others are selling the ASAA, is by claiming that this Law/Act will protect all children from accessing chat apps where they could be groomed by adults, be like Amanda Todd showing their unripe melons and hatchet cuts online for digital Amazon gift cards. They've also have been arguing the same for boys too saying that there are sick fucks that will pay to watch a young twink wank it while wearing their sister's underwear. Another argument is that an Internet police department can be formed and that big mean bully that made your fat kid kill themselves by telling them that they're fat online, will be easy to hunt down and prosecute, thanks to the ASAA having set up a database that targets only what legislators, teachers and child psychologists have decided to be "Harmful" Speech and will be able to track the h8ers down by following an easily-accessible electronic trail, even if posts have been deleted.

Intelligent people are against this idea because we, not you, understand how it will easily become, or rather already is a violation of our First Amendment Rights.

Under an Internets eco-system, where you have to use ID to buy a book, see a website, use an app or sign up for an email account there becomes an even better electronic trail that agencies like the NSA can follow. Instead of creating a basic idea of your personality based on what you buy with a credit card with a algorithm, the NSA would be able to create a complete profile on you.

Registered an account on that "Put Trump In A Blender" game website, they'll know. Have an unhealthy fascination, like former ED Moderator/SysopWilliam Atchison, in school shootings, they'll know. Or really anything - they will know.

Go from website to website reading about how to make homemade bombs and have just bought your fourth copy of Mein Kampf, after reading until the pages fall apart? They'll know.

Go onto your church's social board and give innocent advice to children? They'll know.

Get Permabanned from a site? Sucks to be you, because it will now last forever.

Finally, the ASAA's end-game is to create an unavoidable bureaucratic wall of angry old ladies that think they know more about what you want then you do.

The ASAA would, at some time, require a government ID. Revelations 13:18? You can't do business unless you wear the number of the beast? Fuck You, you ignorant fucks! 🖕

Not surprisingly the 'Department of Homeland Security and ICE are championing this Digital ID because of the ease at which they could gate-keep the internet and cell phones.

There won't be any burner phones. No, no, no. Those are used by coyotes to choreograph illegal border crossings or by Drug Dealers to set up deals.

Go online or text people to set up protests of ICE? Big Brother will know it was you.

The big question we should be asking is who will be in charge of the creation of the rules and polices that will be used by the ASAA? Will it be like in the '90s where attorneys completely bypassed USA's Congress and levied their own punishments and taxes against tobacco companies because they were going to get paid half from the settlements - or will proper legislation be used?

Parents Over Platforms Act: Further Down The Rabbit Hole

The Parents Over Platforms Act or POPA is another bill that has been introduced by Reps. Jake Auchincloss (D-Mass.) and Erin Houchin (R-Ind.).

The Tinfoil Hates are arguing, or should we say idiotically flayling their arms around, demanding to be heard as the run up and down the hallways of the Crazy ward screaming their rants about how Cats are actually the ones in control of the banking industry and not the Joos because logic and observation has never been a requirement to have an insepid thought.

The tinfoil hat argument against POPA, when it is compared to Jon Schweppe's baby, The ASAA, is that POPA offers convience as a key point of getting people to blindly hand over their civil liberties.

Getting back to the real world, one argument in favor of POPA is that it avoids consent fatigue.

Do you even read those agreements that your Smartphone makes you agree to before it updates? Do you even read the agreement that pops up on your screen when you install a new game? Who the fuck does? POPA promises to prevent this mundaneness by allowing parents to restrict access to apps based on category and age rating instead of having to authorize every damned app that their kid might want to download.

Probably the more significant argument that has some people favoring POPA over the ASAA, is that POPA minimizes data collection and sharing compared to the ASAA that is designed to be a giant Data-mine that favors the giant corporations by requiring the user's information - regardless of what app they might be downloading.

While the ASAA requires verification to download the Nerdy Nurses Hentai Explosion game for someone's phone - it would also require verification to download an app that doesn't include age-restricted content like the menu to your favorite donut store or a medical app so you can check every day for a psychological disorder that you think that you might have.

The key point against the ASAA and its pushers, such as like Jon Schweppe is that you are not given a choice in the collection and sharing of your information which could lead to targeted advertising as companies sell off the information they receive from every verification that is required to download an app.