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Donald Drumpf: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 20:13, 3 April 2017
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
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HEY THERE! Hey, Donald Drumpf! I saw what you did with United States Presidential Election. I just wanted to say keep up the good work. |
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Warning! This Man has generated more butthurt than rest of our political establishment, mass media and the one percent combined. |
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THE DONALD IS A LIE. DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES. |
Choo Choo Motherfuckers
Are you a true American Patriot? Check out The Donald for the pro-Trump article.
Donald Trump, Donald Drumpf or Fuckface Von Clownstick, is a dead animal toupee wearing, small handed, pussy grabbing, spoiled, retarded, moronic, draft dodging, shameless, cheating, lying, good for nothing, attention whoring, bullshitting, illiterate, egotistical, maniacal, raping, perverted, godless, hypocritical, flip flopping, indecent, greedy, loud mouthed, son of orangutan sycophant who somehow became the first American Not My President in 2016 by saying out loud in National Television what sub-human voters say out loud in private, and by gaslighting the nation. Somehow (see average voter IQ) he has convinced the masses that he wasn't running on contributions, even though he actually was. The rest of his campaign, was literally his lending himself the money, self funding, that is. Before becoming president he was known for inheriting a large sum of money and spending it on doomed projects, declaring bankruptcy, selling them, evading tax, and somehow making a profit. So guess what he will do with America? He will put his name all over it before running it into the ground and selling it to the Chinese in TPP 2.0, after which he'll retire to a South Florida like other real estate developers from Queens.
For the sake of clarity, we have divided up the life story of this meme in three chapters which are as follows:
- Before his rise to worldwide fame as a manbaby
- His Oscar winning performance of a madmanbaby running for president
- Post awards ceremony where he now has to actually govern this great nation of ours
How to be President Trump in Grand Theft Auto V before we get down to serious business
Pre-election Era Donald Trump
The Apprentice
President Trump's great reality television show is called The Apprentice. The show also has a retarded brother called "The Celebrity Apprentice." This show has been home to many stars, including Lil' Jon, La Toya Jackson, and that one fat guy. President Donald Trump has also been seen extorting money from other contestants including rock singer Meatloaf. Arnold Schwarzenegger is now hosting The Celebrity Apprentice because even President Donald Trump's job has been stolen by an immigrant.
Knowledge on America
—President Donald Trump on The Colbert Report | ||
Oh yes he didTrump is not his real name
Like two out of three Red-Blooded Americans, Donny's grandpa was originally a German, but because he didn't want to pay taxes or serve in the military he fled to the USA with only the money he owed the Kaiser's government and his new slogan: Toll macht frei. But there was a problem when you are named Drumpf in 1885's USA, so he tried his luck in Canada instead. After returning to Germany to marry, only to return to Queens again grandpa Friedrich made a fortune in brothels and died from the Spanish Flu.
—Yukon Sun | ||
- The first Trump hotel was known for selling prostitutes and generating positive press reviews, a practice and reputation that only improves with further Drumpf generations.
- Just like his grandpa, Donald is also known for tax evasion.
- His actual name is Drumpf, but he will be recorded in Chinese Annals as Te Lang Poo or 特朗>:(
Bankruptcies
- 1991 - He had to sell his yacht, to pay off the debt on Taj Mahal casino, less than a year after its opening. He was saved by billionaire Carl C. Icahn - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 1992 - When he couldn't pay for Trump Plaza Hotel, so it had to be bought out by Citibank. - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 1999 - Trump-Maples marriage fails after an almost-rape incident. Trump declared Chapter 11 Divorce.
- 2004 - Couldn't afford the "crushing debt" of Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Inc. He went from 47% of the stakes to a measly 27% - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
- 2009 - Donnie was kindly asked to step down as the head of the board when Trump Entertainment Resorts couldn't pay a 53 million dollar bill. - The company was forced to declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Was bought by Carl C. Icahn, so Americans shouldn't be without jobs.
- 2017 - America, when he spends all the money on the defense budget. Will declare a chapter 11 bankruptcy to the Chinese.
Failed business ventures
- 1985 - The New Jersey Generals was a USFL team that Trump re-bought. His decision was so poor that not only did he destroy the team, he destroyed an entire league.
- 1990 - Trump the Game was a Monopoly rip-off. It was brought back in 2005, to meh reviews.
- 1992 - Trump Shuttle where he managed to lose $100 million.
- 2007 - Trump Mortgage was led off by this immortal comment: "I think it's a great time to start a mortgage company ... who knows about financing better than I do?". It was right before the housing market crash. Well done, Nostradamus.
- 2007 - Trump Steaks were discontinued almost immediately. The Trump Steakhouse was found to be utterly fucking disgusting to the point where even Gordon Ramsay would give up. It was closed because it had expired yogurt and five months overdue duck.
- 2007 - GoTrump.com was a place for Trump by Trump. It shut down within a year.
- 2008 - Trump Vodka was abandoned just a mere two years after being released. Did we mention that Trump is a teetotaler and his brother was a severe alcoholic?
- 2009 - Trump Magazine first appeared in 2007, where his daughter was on the front page. Unfortunately she was dressed. It was supposed to cash in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities. Didn't work out.
- 2010 - Trump Ice. Would you like to buy some "Natural" "Spring" "Water", that tasted like socks?
- 2011 - Trump University was a diploma mill. Trump ended up getting sued for 40 million dollars, because he lied.
Settled in 2016 for $25 Million he did not have time to show up in court because he is the soon to be President.
Lifestyle
President Trump spends his days in his Manhattan home, eating delicious cake and playing with himself. He dreams of Jessi Slaughter and faps his 24 karat gilded five inch penis. In recent years he has begun to lure in little boys with wads of cash to have sex with him. President Trump, being the latent homosexual that is his agenda, is the sole financial source behind Boku no Pico. It is rumored that the plot is inspired by President Trump's childhood, but given how much President Trump brags about his accomplishments, if he did have such an awesome childhood--he'd never shut the fuck up about it. It is speculated that he will pander to militant homosexuals after he locks up the GOP nomination. He also has an extensive wardrobe, which ranges from green business suits to skimpy, black panties. It should be noted that President Trump has managed to bankrupt his entire business empire, twice, the first time it was a chain of casino resorts, which even those with the most tenuous grasp on economics, will tell you is fucking impossible unless you are a hire complete and utter retards. Both times President Trump got back on his feet again, from a combination of giving blowjobs to his neo-con friends (including the Clintons) and begging for bailouts from the government. The joke is on you cause he has "fuck you" money many times over and you are reading this not fully clothed.
The Birther Movement
This issue made this asshole's campaign momentum possible to being with, rode it all the way through till the effect wore off. How the issue unfolded is summed up by the pictures below ordered in sequence.
Candidate Donald Trump
His famous Mexican rapists and crime opening speech to take over the media
Campaign Slogan
Where did Drumpf come from
Britbong cuckold John Oliver discovered that Trump's actual last name should have been Drumpf.
Has Jewish Links
The irony that Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right, Alex Jones and KKK support him despite him having a Jew for a son-in-law and his daughter became a Jew. Also the Prime Minister of Israel and Right Wing love him in Israel.
His cult followers, wait I mean Generous Supporters in the flesh
If you wonder who voted for this fucktard, this short video will sum it up for you.
Some of these fucktards don't remember what country they live in.
Where did the MAGA hat come from
His enlightened view on how to treat a lady
His Merciful view on how to treat the disabled
What the Bald Eagle thinks of him
Believes he has a big cock and has to let the rest of America to know
Thinks of all illegals as the drug cartel gangsters from Breaking Bad
His view on the Geneva Convention
His relationship with the media
His relationship with Hillary Clinton
His New VP Mike Pence
His relationship with the Alt Right
His Health
His Relationship with Comrade Putin
Sinophilia
Trump vs Trump
How his followers deal with his numerous fuckups and scandals
When you are inducted into the Trump Supporters Party, you must support the Dear Great Leader at all costs, no matter how small the insult is, you must defend him. A basic attack is to being butthurt over Hillary and liberals can't accept the miracles of our Dear Great Leader. For advanced training, use ShariaBlue and Shill to destroy the political thread because all of them must be paid off by the Jews, George Soros, David Brock and Deep State.
Make incest great again
Despite a many a failed marriages Donnie has always claimed he is a family man. And how can he maintain that? Simple. By wanting to boink his daughter.
Q: What's the favorite thing you have in common with your daughter
Getting his Walk of Fame Star removed
How to piss on Drumpf
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Even Spider-Man hates Donnie -
Bitches shit on Trump -
Trump supporters also join the fun -
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Election Night 2016
The Donaldmatrix Pill Test
Hi snow flakes, if you made this far and want to test your mental state before we get to the main Presidential course, you will need to take this test to figure out if you need to be compassionately euthanized or a regular average Joe who fears for the direction of our nation.
There are two pictures below.
If you choose the right pill, go fill up the bathtub with warm water, strip naked, get into the bathtub with a sharp ass knife, slit your wrist below the water and you will bleed out and meet Allah.
If you choose the left pill, you are a sane and reasonable person but just to make sure, report to your local CDC office for massive exposure to bullshit unless Trump shut that down.
President Donald J Trump
His Official Presidential Portrait
Who voted for this fucktard
Days being presidential for fucking once
Is he a True President in charge of the nation
The KEK became reality
On 9th Nov 2016 this happened finally shattering that last glass ceiling; for the incompetent and corrupt:
How he still deals with being critizied
His Transition Team
Mr. Drumpf Goes to Washington
Drumpf's Inaugural Address
How are his hands doing
He has discovered the complexities of the American Healthcare System, give him a cookie, oh wait Putin will
When a Trump Supporter realizes he bought snake oil to cure his erectile dysfunction
His 'Secret' plan to take out ISIS in 30 days
McDonalds hates him now
The number cause of obesity and diabetes in this country even thinks that Drumpf is a step too far for corporate America's usual successful attempts to fuck average Americans in the ass.
His Muslim Travel Ban
Obamacare Repeal
Promised to repeal Obamacare on Day 1, took 2 months to come up with a replacement only for it to die dead on arrival on the first attempt in the House despite Republicunts and Cuckservatives controlling the House, Senate and Presidency.
What do Trump Supporters think of him now?
What America till thinks of Trump after all this
How did this fucktard win
If you have made it this far and wonder how did this degenerate and hedonist become president, its because the god of kek wills it.
Now for the serious business answer, 4chan 's /pol/ role in the Great Meme war granted him victory over that demon from hell.
Okay I'm just fucking with you, those hard working /pol/iticans have a high degree of unwarranted self importance but Donald Drumpf won because the smug assholes on the left acted like communist traitors by interfering with free market in their primaries and rigged it for faux liberal Hillary Clinton to ironically defeat actual socialist Bernie Sanders. Also Hillary promised Deep South Niggers more free stuff. So the great white Bitch ignores the Rust Belt where her competitor YOU KNOW FUCKING WHO had been pandering to all year and instead goes to wealthy dinners sponsored by Hollywood feminists and Jew Bankers, guess why she was hated, and does a shit job at not being a robot or tool. SO on the day of reckoning, she loses by double the margin of minimum votes she was predicted to beat this WHINEY LITTLE BITCH.
What to do if confronted with a Trump Worshiper
Do not feed it, Do not engage it, Do not look at it, Do not argue with it, Just let it go, Let it go.
Terrorist Organizations connected to Donald Trump
Y'all-Qaeda
Talibangelicals
Ismerica State
Yokel Haram
A Whiter Shade of Pale
Vanilla ISIS
Trumptards
Trumpanzees
Trumpettes
Trumpists
How do stop Orange Hitler
The Democrats has to regroup and regain the trust of the working class and make a effort to help them. They have to drop identity politics and try to appeal to many as well as kicking out Social Justice Warriors from their party. Liberals and Conservatives have to stop shouting at each other and try to listen to each other and understand each other's problems. People have start caring about their fellow man and rebuild their communities. Corporations bring jobs back to the United States and start people a means of having a living. The blacks and whites come togather and agree on OJ Simpson was guilty, which ends the race war. The Justice system is reformed and everyone is happy.
Oh wait, what the fuck, are you kidding me, you must be high to dream this shit up, thanks California for finally legalizing weed. We are fucked beyond repair, our politics are more toxic, there is more tribalism, everyone is either a full blown Nazi or a whining castrated SJW, we are so fucked that there could be another civil war but oh wait, since our nation is full of fat fucks, there will be no civil war.
Stack up on guns, food, weed and barricade your homes. Store cash under your beds and buckle up motherfuckers, Donald Drumpf is gonna give us the craziest ride of 8 years of your life.
Oh you think he will only last 4, think again maggot, the Democrats are whining little bitches and will no way in hell will bend over for Bernie Sanders to become the nominee cause they know he will win but they will lose all that money given to them from the elitist fucktards on Wall Street and the Jews. They will spite their face to stop Bernie. Kanye West will not run till 2024 because surprise surprise idiot, he loves Donald Drumpf. The Libertarians won't even win a single state in 2020 unless Rand Paul joins them and steals Kentucky. The Greens will have Jill Stein euthanized after submitting her to a death panel.
You bleeding hearts were warned to vote for Clinton but it was MUH EMAILS and you were too lazy to get off your asses because every liberal news source you watched said that she had a 200% chance of beating this chump and forgetting this is America not Iraq.
Donald Trump after 8 years
His Presidential Legacy
The Pussificiation of America as the Great Old Fuck George Carlin called it eons ago
What the media doesn't have the balls to do
What the house and senate don't have the balls to do
What the Donald don't have the balls to do
What the Trump Supporters don't have the balls to do
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Videos
It's fucking over
Previous Video | Next Video
Gallery
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Hair Force One -
Hebrew writing plaque in Donald Trump's office - another proof that he into Jewry -
Trump giving handshake to Jewred Kushner -
Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician. -
It's real like your waifu's orgasms. -
Back to the Future Predicted Trump as President only off by 1 year. That's heavy. -
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Proof that you can ruin food by simply pointing at it. -
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Typical trump voter -
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TrumPence 16 Flag -
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Donald's cat. -
Donald's rat. -
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Bateman endorses Trump. -
A Trump voter speaks -
Trump gets pwned on Twitter. -
Trump pals around with his friend Rudy Ghouliani. -
Behold! Trumpcock. -
Donald moves on women like a "bitch". -
In capitalist America, pussy grabs YOU! -
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See Also
- Drumpf article by white alt-right autistic shitlords
- Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this
- Adolf Hitler
- Bernie Madoff
- Bernie Sanders
- Blaming China
- Business
- Dolan Trump
- Fired
- God
- Hillary Clinton
- Jews
- Money
- Rosie
- The Man
- The True God
- Weasel words
- Pindos
External links
External links of White Supremacy
- The Great White Hope
- Is Trump our Last Chance? (probably)
- Trump's unwelcome support
- 10 Dark Secrets of Trump
- How the Trump regime was manufactured by a war inside the Deep State
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Donald Drumpf is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |
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Donald Drumpf is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me. |
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| Featured article March 5 & 6, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Lowti3rgod |
Donald Drumpf | Succeeded by Alison Rapp |