Daily Stormer: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 07:21, 17 August 2017

The Daily Stormer is a play pretend Neo Nazi website for angry asshats who couldn't make the ANTIFA cut. Essentially a group of overly ignorant, indignant, self-important rage tards desperately looking for life's little purpose. The impressionable pukes fumble on into the cookie cutter crap cult looking to "change the world", lured in with Sesame Street style depictions of Nazi symbolism; couched in the guise of cutesy cartoon frogs and other childish tchotkes that could only appeal to the most virginal manchild who is too insecure to join the My Little Pony fan club like the rest of Generation Autism.

The Site's Creator

Typical content of a serial rapist's basement; the copious amounts of loli and dolls

The Daily Stormer was created by Andrew Anglin, your typical beta male manlet, severely lacking in physical, penile and social stature. Danglin ballsack became an overly ass flustered fart in the wind on the web, creating a small hovel of like minded malcontents and misanthropes too socially retarded to fit in with the rest of the world. They could bring their endless 1st world white boi problems on into Andrew's closed up closet and ass jack them out with accusations against others. Whether it's "the Jews", "the Niggers", "the feminists" or otherwise, every failing in their life is the fault of someone else and Andrew Anglin's site is their personal homo hug bear where they can cry their cunt starved selves on out.

The site eventually gained national notoriety when some nobody with a bowl cut hair style took pictures of himself cock swabbing with the confederate flag, which he uploaded to the site, shortly before going all Elliot Rodger on some random group of black people because somehow their skin color was cramping his chances at claiming a cunt down at the trailer park.

As a result the news media gave Andrew all sorts of attention that his parents never gave him, egging him on to keep pushing the inflamed enveloped for more negative reinforcement, this started a long cycle of stupidity as mainstream media continually used Andrew as their personal Neo Nazi whipping boi and Andrew in turn kept bending his butt on over their knee begging for more.

GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!

File:Daily Stormer - Heather Heyer.jpg

The Daily Stormer, pushing their luck too far.

In August the site's domain registrar GoDaddy decided they, thankfully, had enough of Andrew's antics, especially after it became abundantly obvious that the site was directly organizing and encouraging violence against others. For a long time the site had attempted to hide their violent frustrations in the form of, "Jus trollin Guv, honest I wuz!" however after recent events led one of their users to go trashcan bowling with blowhards it became abundantly obvious that the site wasn't simply a social experiment gone terribly wrong.

Needless to say, GoDaddy decided to bring the smack down on their lily white asses like a red headed step child...

As if the first butt blistering blow wasn't bad enough, Andrew went and got a second spanking from Google when he attempted to re-register the domain with them.

The Site's Users

Self-Repressed Homosexuals

Being a homo ain't always easy, you often have to put up with a lot of shit... sometimes literally; when you're base jumping your dick on into the ass crack ravine... and sometimes figuratively; when you have to do deal with assholes who want to hate.

The problem is though, sometimes that asshole... is you and yours. When you hate what you are the easiest way to relieve the tension is to simply project your own insecurities onto others and then attack them vicariously. This is why, more often than not, the people who hate homosexuals the most are those dick licking party poofters locked on in the "coming out" closet, unable to escape from the weight of their own personal shame and self-loathing.

And for the truly inspired masochistic meat packer there's being a Neo Nazi! Not only do you get to surround yourself amongst manly men in hyper masculine motif you can run around hating and harping on homos simply as a matter of polite conversation amongst your fellow turd trapping, dick lusting deniers!

Tryhard Edgelords

Growing up as a middle class white suburbanite slob isn't very exciting or intriguing. Bred into a ordinary life with very little in the way of expectations you know you're destined for mundane mediocrity amongst a sea of other equally unimportant little imps. So what's a honkey kong, cuck cracker to do? Well, for many, the obvious solution is to simply start makin shit up!

But if you're going to start feigning pretend importance you're going to need a gimmick, something that will make you stand out, something that screams into people's minds, "rebel" and "renegade" and other words that begin with the letter "R"!

And in the inexperience of youth nothing will exalt that edginess better than drawing misshapen swastikas while proudly proclaiming to be "way more Nazi than you"!

Naked Troll Rats

Trolling is a art, or it can be, it can also be a tweenage twit fumbling all over themselves for attention that they didn't get when mommy took the titty away too soon.

These amateur asshats usually have no sense of subtlety whatsoever to the point where you can't tell if they're trying to troll people or if they're simply looking to engage in some twisted form of interpretive art for the amusement of others.

Essentially the slapstick of trolling these types will always go for the most transparent of triggers, either out of inexperience or a lack of effort.

They're painfully obvious to the point where, even if someone does fall for their tricks, you can't help but cringe in the wake of whatever level of stupidity it must have taken to trip on over such tripe.

Social Rejects

Can't get laid? Socially awkward to the point of having to hide your unrestrained erections from others? Feeling flustered that all the better you can hope for is furiously fapping yourself off to fan fiction and fantasies?

Well if you're a virgin with rage, who hates the world for how horrible at life you are, there's always the option of entrenching your self-centered cunt cravings in Neo Nazism!

The one group that will actually praise you for hating ~~women~~ stupid cunt slut whore bitch liars and treating them like proverbial property. Animate fuck toys whose sole purpose should be to pleasure your insatiable thirst... lest you lash out uncontrollably and kill all them bitches for not making you the sole priority in their lives.

The Site's Supporters

Andrew "Weev" Auernheimer

One of the site's biggest supporters is a disillusioned redneck oakie retard named "Weev" who fancies himself as some kind of electronic revolutionary because he once got his pecker caught in a preposterous lie when he brazenly claimed to be a hacker who had anally penetrated AT&T. That of course attracted the party van and poor Weev almost spent the rest of his natural life behind bars for mouthing off in court. Thankfully for him the justice system eventually sorted through his blatant bullshit claims and came to the conclusion that he was completely full of it and hadn't "hacked" anything, much less had any real level of technical skill.

So Weev got kicked to the curb and was down on his luck, with the law, with the ladies, hell with life itself! So he turned on over to the Daily Stormer who offered him up all the hooch juice infused cult Kool-Aid he could drink, turning him from a tryhard troll to a drunken butt puppet for the unironic version of the alt-right. It wasn't long before Weev was makin like Westboro Baptist lookin to dox dead girls and hoping to finally get lucky with the only kind of cunt that would ever willingly get laid with him... a lifeless one...