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<div style="text-align:center; background: #F8F8F8; border: 1px solid #DDDDDD; padding: 5px; margin: 1em;" class="notice metadata" id="spoilers">This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example, <br />'''HOLY SHIT THE THING ACTUALLY PASSED IN CONGRESS WITH NEW PROVISIONS!!!1!!1! CALL YOUR SENATOR NOW OR WE'RE ALL FUCKED!1!!!!<span style="text-transform:uppercase;"></span>'''</div><noinclude>[[Category:Notice Templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>
Do you [[Why do you hate freedom?|hate internet freedom]]? Are you pissed [[SOPA]] got shot down by those hipsters? Good news! The [[American]] government has just the thing for you! '''CISPA''' (also known as [[shit noone cares about|H.R. 3523]], The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, and SOPA MK II [[Electric Boogaloo]]) is the newest great idea shat out by the man in Washington currently awaiting approval in the house.
Do you [[Why do you hate freedom?|hate internet freedom]]? Are you pissed [[SOPA]] got shot down by those hipsters? Good news! The [[American]] government has just the thing for you! '''CISPA''' (also known as [[shit noone cares about|H.R. 3523]], The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, and SOPA MK II [[Electric Boogaloo]]) is the newest great idea shat out by the man in Washington currently awaiting approval in the house.



Revision as of 07:15, 27 April 2012

Do you hate internet freedom? Are you pissed SOPA got shot down by those hipsters? Good news! The American government has just the thing for you! CISPA (also known as H.R. 3523, The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, and SOPA MK II Electric Boogaloo) is the newest great idea shat out by the man in Washington currently awaiting approval in the house.

History

Would this man do anything that wasn't in your best interest?
No exceptions.

Sometime last November, when all the cool kids were trying to get their internet censorship bills pushed through the House and Senate, Republican and professional asshat Michael Rogers of Michigan decided it would be a good idea to write his own bill to control who looks at what porn, and apparently didn't get the memo that his buddy Lamar Smith caused a complete clusterfuck and shitstorm with his bill until it got completely cockblocked altogether.

Essentially what he's trying to do allow any company who claims to be promoting "internet security" (think AT&T) to not only track and monitor what any end user does on the internet, but do it without a warrant or even reason to believe said person is a threat (which even the Patriot Act required) and not only masturbate to the pictures of your little sister, but then also turn the information over to Glorious Mother America.

Totally reliable Russia Today report on it

THIS JUST IN

You mad, bro?

The fucking thing passed the House of Representatives. Break out the tinfoil hats!

NEW PROVISIONS

It's now been confirmed that the final bill passed by the congress adds three more ways for your privacy to be violated:

1. investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crime
2. protection of individuals
3. protection of children

See also

External Links

http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112hr3523ih/pdf/BILLS-112hr3523ih.pdf - Read the shitfest
http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/112/hr3523 - tl;dr version

CISPA

is part of a series on

Taking Down ED

[Retreat!Do It Faggot]

Distinguished Individuals

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Noble Internet Entities

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Glorious Civilizations

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Related Subjects and Methods

CensorshipDDoSFree SpeechGet a LawyerHackingMake a PetitionNotify the FBISerious BusinessSOPAThe Græt Niggercide of Old EDWriting an article for UncyclopediaYou vs. ED

CISPA
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismCyanismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinAOCB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenH.BidenJ.BidenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHarrisHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcConnellMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVanceVenturaVitterWalzWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCritical race theoryCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential Elections2020 Presidential Elections2024 USA Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communitiesRoe v. Wade