Jews

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WARNING: With Jews, you lose!

BEWARE The Shini Curse!:

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The common Jew; notice the large, attention-grabbing features

Filthy leeches.

An artist's recreation

Jews often practice animal abuse, as commanded by their God YHWH.

Now they've invaded Japan!

Hitler knew the truth.

Jews (also known as: Kikes, Hebes, Hymies, Yids, Bankers, Financiers, Nosedniggers, Gold Niggers, Oven Magnets, Oven Dodgers, Big Noses, Sheenies, Swindlers, Criminals, Firewood, Arabs in Denial, Thieves, Moes, and filthy fucking scum who need to be wiped off the Earth) are a sub-human species of extraterrestrial reptilians and adherents to one of the world's oldest religions, called "Judaism", also known as "The Worship of Money" and "Ritual Infant Sacrifice". Some famous Jews include: everyone who works on television, in movies, in radio, and in print media.

Judaism was the world's first master race theory. The Jew religion teaches that Jews are the Chosen People of God and that there is a sacred mystical quality to Jew DNA. In olden times, Jew prophets would, under the command of YHWH, frequently lead the Jews on genocidal rampages against neighboring populations, and even today leaders in the Jew state of Israel often cite Jewish religious ideals to justify their ongoing genocide of sandniggers. Judaism ironically found its mirror-image inversion in the anti-Jew Aryan racialism of the Nazis. But this is all bullshit, since there's no pure Jewish left as they all mixed with white people, niggers, niggers, arabs (they're the same as the arabs, lol), slavs. In addition, according to studies ashkenazi jews's male haplotype is mideastern while the female side european.

Despite only being 0.19% of the world's population, Jews control 99% of the world's money. (See: Rothschild, Warburg, etc.) They also control the media, the banks, LiveJournal's porn and gay communities, textbook publishers, music (especially rap), gold, and diamonds. And no, we're not fucking joking about this. If you don't believe that Jews control everything, just look up a list of Media Jews or finance Jews on Google. Or just look at the always disproportionate number of Jewish names in the governments of the West. Case in point, Roman Polanski and and Jeffrey Epstein got off without serious punishment for raping little girls (as recommended in their holy book, the Talmud), something a goy would have done serious pound-me-in-the-ass prison time for. The Jews use the money to fund their militarized colony of Israel, a Jewish state created in the Middle East, which Jews consider the Promised Land. The Arabs don't think so, so Israel has fought many wars, and has turned the Jews into a warrior race as well as a scummy thieving one. Basically, the only part of the world that's not controlled by the Jews is Asia, because the Muslims don't tolerate their kike bullshit and the only way for Jews to hold them down is to send the Israel Defense Forces to buttfuck them, and the Chinese are the only race with potential to out-Jew the Jews and actually threaten them.

All Jews possess the following features: Big, hooked noses; Sloped Foreheads; A flattened rear skull; Evil-looking eyes; Horns (according to the Bible); The ability to scream "anti-semitism!" in 14 different languages; Curly hair; One of those gay hats; USI; A love of coke (when it can be found cheaply enough); A law practice; A persecution complex; A roll of (someone else's) money; An obsession with killing Muslims; shitty taste in dental hygiene.

Jews invented both Communism and Capitalism. Karl Marx, of course, was a jew, which was why he understood money so well, and in fact he was converted to Communism by another Jew, Moses Hess, the actual founder of Zionism, who ghost-wrote Marx's The German Ideology. Modern Capitalism was created when Christian Europeans threw away their morals and decided to embrace Jewish practices like usury (see: John Calvin). Jews were the first group to create a sophisticated banking system, which they used to finance the Crusades in order to pit Christians and Muslims (both adhering to religions derived from Judaism) against each other to kill as many people as possible in a macabre human sacrifice to YHWH.

The Jew banking system was based on fraud and lies, so when it inevitably collapsed, the Jews just pwned as many people as possible by unleashing the Black Plague on them. Later, Jews economically controlled medieval Venice (the first modern maritime trade empire), and then crypto-Jewish merchants economically controlled the Spanish Empire, including the slave trade. Openly Jewish bankers orchestrated the Dutch Empire and founded Jew Amsterdam (later Jew York). Later the Dutch Jews moved to London because they thought it would be a better base for a global empire, and actually brought a Dutch nobleman, William III, with them, who they installed in a coup d'état (more like Jew d'état, amirite?) as new King of the British Empire. For hundreds of years, Jewish bankers controlled global trade through their bases in Jew York City and London. European colonialism was, through its history, essentially a plot whereby Jews could gain control of gold and diamond mines in poor countries and increase their stranglehold over the global economy.

At this point, the average person might say, "Wait a minute... that sounds like a conspiracy theory!!! One small race couldn't possibly be responsible for so much evil!" Well, here's a fun fact: in 1913, Jews seized control of America's sovereign power to control its own currency by establishing the Federal Reserve system (a parasitic ponzi scheme, modeled on the earlier Rothschild-dominated Bank of England, in which any dollar printed as legal currency is actually a dollar of debt owed, with interest, to the Jew-controlled private banks who own the shares of the regional Fed banks). The architect of this system was a Jew named Paul Warburg. Paul's brother, Max Warburg, worked directly under Hjalmar Schacht in Germany and directed the currency policies of the Third Reich that allowed Hitler to build his war machine. What's truly fascinating is that the Warburg family has a long history of grand-scale fraud -- the family was originally named del-Banco, and was the most prominent banking family in the Republic of Venice during that state's period of imperial supremacy in the 1400s. It's somewhat stunning to contemplate that it's not merely impersonal monetary systems that have existed for so many centuries, but in fact for over 500 years the same Jewish families have overseen them and maintained economic dominance.

Jews also enjoy slicing up baby penises for fun, some even enjoy sucking them. See below.

Some suggest that we should use Jews instead of dogs to sniff out large amounts of concealed cash or anything else worth smuggling at airports due to their sensitive Jew noses. Obviously, this is a horrible idea, because the pay is bad, and the dirty Kikes would probably form a union and demand moar money, thus increasing the burden on taxpayers everywhere.

Jews have also founded their own country, Israel, which is their base of operations.

History

Jews have always existed, from the beginning of time. When the first neanderthal crawled off his haunches and walked on two legs, there was already someone named Goldblatt walking up to sell him life insurance. FUN FACT: JEWS ARE ALSO CALLED "JUDEN" (YOO-den).

Ancient

The Jews were summoned from Hell by the evil sorcerer named Abraham, who used them for profit. Through their entire history, the Jews have always been wandering. They wandered, from Mesopotamia, along the sea, running a lucrative grain and white slavery business for a while, ultimately settling in Egypt. The hard-working farmers of Egypt waged a massive uprising against the foreign usurpers and speculators. In response, the Jews bred the super-Jew, Moses, who cast black magic spells summoning flocks of insects and frogs to make Egyptland a very unpleasant place. When this didn't work as planned, Moses spent time wandering around and building up his experience points, then cast a level 99 mass death spell which took a genocidal toll on the innocent Egyptian children. The murderous Jews escaped Egypt and plundered their way through the desert, finally settling in Canaan, which they called their "Promised Land" because their leaders said they heard voices in their heads telling them that. Upon settlement, the Jews mercilessly slaughtered Canaan's rightful inhabitants, claiming that they were following commandments from God.

Some argue there was a bit more subtlety to it all than just this, however -- including a long history of internal Jew-on-Jew drama, mutual extermination and conflicts, well-documented in many unreliable sources, most notably in the Old Testament. To begin with, infamous Cain once killed 1/4 of the entire Jew population of his day at once. Then here comes Moses, their greatest prophet. Who, according to holy Bible, was bloodthirsty maniac:

He said to them, "Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor.'" — Exodus 32:27

Not only did he order sons of Levi to exterminate their brothers, but Moses had also established the world's first documented concentration camp, near the city of Kadesh, just after two years of wandering the desert and, unlike popular belief, Jews settled there for next 38 years of their so-called "desert wanderings". See Numbers and Deuteronomy books to clarify any details. Moses also had given Jews the infamous Ten Commandments, one of which says, "Thou shalt not murder" (Catholics changed it to "kill" but Jews originally had only "murder" that you can't do). There are, however, many exceptions to this Commandment, given by the jealous Jew-God himself:

If your brother, your mother's son, or your son or daughter, or the wife you cherish, or your friend who is as your own soul, entice you secretly, saying, "Let us go and serve other gods" ... you shall not yield to him or listen to him; and your eye shall not pity him, nor shall you spare or conceal him. But you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people — Deuteronomy 13:6-9

Thus, the renowned history of liberal Jewish tolerance towards others begins.

It takes an austere scientist, a lot of thinking, analysis, and comparison to extract the horrible and unbelievable truth from this so-called Holy Scripture, of which the aforementioned examples are barely a scratch. Surprisingly, the central holy text of Judaism (of which the Old Testament is a rework) displays Jew leaders of ancient times and kings as organized crime leaders, alcoholics, merciless murderers, and masterful deceivers — all the traits Jewish leaders have successfully carried through millennia to our own day. Unlike Jews, other neighboring nations and their leaders are portrayed in a much more decent way. Generally speaking, the Old Testament mainly covers such topics as incestuous relationships, civil wars, religious intolerance, mass murders, dishonesty and greed of Jews. You can find this out yourself, there is nothing that cannot be inferred from the holy texts using pen, calculator, and enough time. Thank heavens, such brilliant people exist.

Modern

Some time later, Hitler tried to eliminate the scum after being tricked by Zionists, who hoped to guilt-trip the Western World into creating a Jewish state, and as a result, 6 million were killed, but failed, as the Jews had timed it just right, as World War II was on, and the Allies stopped it after a few years. Hitler later pwned himself rather than be tried in a Kangaroo court with a Jew judge, jury, and lawyer.

There are currently roughly a few million Jews worldwide, of which about half live in Israel, which was created two years after the Holocaust, and subsequently beat back modernized Arab armies when it was only hours old. Ever since then it has been doing nothing but fight wars, while it secretly runs America through its Jew banker agents in New York. They are responsible for every major war. Israel's Mossad secret service is responsible for all the world's hunger, pain, misery, war, and terrorism. Its boldest operation yet was 9/11. There are even rumors being spread around by some people that Israel is secretly building a time machine to attack Pearl Harbor, blow up the Hindenburg, and invent slavery.

Israel's main job is to slaughter Arabs by the thousands, bomb their cities, and raep their women, then take pictures and provide cheap and easy porn for Jews everywhere. It also serves as a safe haven for Jews everywhere, and the Mossad, kills anyone who wakes up to the truth. The Israeli Jew Government then says that "we neither confirm nor deny these reports" like fucking spam.

Jews are also known to troll for money. Most of a Jew's features are made due to the fact that Jews are greedy. If you care enough to look at a Jew's nose, it is insanely large. This is due to the fact that air is free. If you see anyone diving for, staring at, or rubbing money, they are Jews and be sure to let them know.

Jews are also known for their breeding habits, and produce large amounts of Jew spawn on a scale inferior only to the Catholics and Muslims. Jews often rape their sisters and expect some welfare from it as well. They have one of the highest reproduction rates in the animal kingdom, which zoologists believe may be due to their large number of natural predators, e.g. every group of Arabs neighboring Israel. There are some, however, who speculate that modern condoms are simply too large for their penises and that contraception should be adapted as to accommodate our poorly-endowed friends. Despite this, their Arab cousins still breed faster, and Israel's Arabs are spawning larva faster than even India.

The Jews recently admitted to harvesting the organs of the Gentiles for profit.

Jewish Slashfic

The Jews wrote some of the oldest wingger's fanfic still in existence, which is alternately called the "Old Testament" and the "Tanakh." Based on these writings, they obviously hate homosexuals. Sometimes as psychotic, violent and convoluted as a Shaw Brothers/Tarantino collaboration, the "Old Testament" AKA the Jew Testament is filled with acts of naked misogyny that would make any feminist instantly livid, as well as multiple counts of mass murder and homophobia akin to that of their future Teuton oppressors, partially redeeming this otherwise Messiah-denying lot of hook-nosed bean counters. Also, unleavened bread consumption, hallucinating burning vegetation, daring HJIC Abraham to knock up some Egyptian harlot to create Israel's future "enemy"... the Jew Testament is full of hours of family-safe drama and lulz.

Talmud

The front cover of the Talmud, The Jewish holy book.

This is what Jews actually believe:

• Menahoth 43b-44a. A Jewish man is obligated to say the following prayer every day: Thank you God for not making me a Gentile, a woman or a slave.
• Baba Mezia 114a-114b. Non-Jews are not human. Only Jews are human ("Only ye are designated men").
• Baba Mezia 24a, Sanhedrin 57a, Baba Kamma 113a: Jews may lie to, steal from, kill and rob non-Jews.
• Rosh Hashanah 17a . Christians and others who reject the Talmud will go to hell and be punished there for all generations.
• Sanhedrin 55b. A Jew may marry a three year old girl. (specifically, three years "and a day" old).
• Kethuboth 11b. When a older Jew has intercourse with a girl it is nothing because her virginity will grow back.
• Gittin 70a. The Rabbis taught: "On coming from a privy (outdoor toilet) a man should not have sexual intercourse till he has waited long enough to walk half a mile, because the demon of the privy is with him for that time; if he does, his children will be epileptic."

The Jewish circumcision ritual is the cutting of the male foreskin, symbolizing the covenant between God and the Jewish people. It is usually done by a "mohel", a rabbi trained in circumcision. Hasidic and some other Jews use a mohel who uses his mouth to suck the blood from the wound on the penis caused by cutting off the baby's foreskin.

That's right, pedophile Jew rabbis suck baby dick for a living!

The Jews Did...

Jews did global warming

It is a well known fact that jews invented the automobile as a way to make make money and control the world by changing the climate in order to kill Christina babies. Jews will eventually find a cure to global warming which they will sell to get more of the world's money. Al Gore is PWNED by the jews.

Jews Did 9/11

The M0ar U Know.

Some Jews, mainly Orthodox Jews are epic trolls.

Yes, after the Jews regained their homeland through completely legitimate means they quickly discovered that they had to share their squat of sand with a bunch of arabs. Getting rid of Sandniggers was suddenly the only thing Jews could think about. At first, UN was sympathetic to the plight of the Jews, because, after all, no human should be forced to share things with Arabs. However, the UN is all made up of Sandniggers these days. Therefore, helping Jews is simply against everything the UN stands for.

Now alone and desperate, the Jews needed to do something in order to get the stone rolling in the right direction. The Elders of Zion had a meeting with George W Bush, and decided to organize a "terrorist" attack against the World Trade Center. The Arabs were easy to blame, because they hate America and the freedom it represents.

Simplifying matters even further, an obscure little Freedom-Fighting organization known as Al Queda, which just wanted to be recognized, was more than willing to take the blame. Their leader, Osama Bin Laden, was quick to issue a video claiming responsibility for the attacks that was sold to Fox, and Americans like the stupid retards we are believe everything on Fox News as the Absolute Truth.

The operation went much better than the Jews expected. Americans went into homicidal rage, first on Afghanistan and then on Iraq, and when there will be no more place for dead Iraqi babies in Tigris, they'll probably go for Iran.

Once the Americunt Military is done liberating Middle East from the Arabs, the Jews will move in and lick off the topping of the oil on the cake; the US will be left with the less tasty bottom, and a lot of Jew spit. In the aftermath, the Jews will once again have proven successful at manipulating the government, taking advantage of the media, extorting foreign opinions, killing random people, and seizing a large portion of oil to fund their needs and make more jew gold.

Jews did Michael Jackson

Some people believe that Jews did Michael Jackson. Their reasoning goes as follows:

1. Jewish monetary perverts drool at the billions accumulated by MJ. They say shalom and try to invite themselves to dinner and MJ says GTFO.

2. In addition, Jews at the CIA want to insert memes into his lyrics so that they can sell more dope to the listeners. MJ says gb2hell.

3. Jews insert bait children into his life. Indeed, some of the children's families were bff with their Jewish attorneys.

4. MJ smells trouble, and responds with lyrics. The unedited version of one of his lyrics went as follows (srsly). Jewish lawyers made him change it. The song is accompanied by a creepy music that gives you visions of Jewish shark lawyers trying to banhammer you for good.

               He really fucked, 
               He thought he really got control of me 
               Somebody's out there, 
               Somebody really wants to get me 
               Kick me 
               Kike me 
               Use me 
               Abuse me 
               Sue me 
               Jew me 
               Take control of me 

5. Jews find nothing funny and proceed with banhammering him. They fail at the banhammer but succeed in putting him out of commission.

Jews did Windows Vista

• have you ever lost anything on windows when it crashed? its teh jews.
• thanks to the jews, windows today is 70% crap, 25% useful stuff, 4% good stuff, 1% unknown
• Has 10^8 fanboys.
• Old versions like Windows 95, 98, and ME crash over 9000 times a SECOND. This was to prevent arabs from doing anything productive.

Jewish racial divisions

Race has huge importance in jewish culture. Race is the most important sign by which jew recognize other jews. Jew items, like yarmulka, david star necklace, Hava Nagila ringtones and unpronounceable surnames alsou is used by jews to identify each other.

Much like rodents, as depicted in this documentary, Judaism has spread throughout the world and is now considered endemic. According to tradition there of was one tribe of Africans that God anointed with human IQ. This sudden increase in intelligence led to this tribe to get the hell out of Africa ASAP, and so they branched out of Egypt to most if not all the World. Yes, there are Indian and Chinese Jews as indigestible that fact may be. There are even Scientist Jews on Antarctica, basically only North Korea is certified judenfrei (except for communism) which explains why it is Paradise. The whiter Jews are called Sephardim, while every other mongrel including niggers are kindly referred to as "Oriental". These two groups have in common that they share some common nigger origin and believe in God, while there's a third group of Jews, the Ashkenazis, that is only there for political reasons. It basically goes like: Askenazi - whitest and purest, Sepharadi - Arabs with Jewish religion (mabye the Cohen family is real Jewish, experts don't know), African Jews - black people who call themselves Jews for no reason (probably because that way they can call "THEMSELVES" instad of call "THEMSLAVES").

AshkeNazi

Typical AshkeNazi greeting.

AshkeNazi jewess. Ashke means expatriate in Hebrew, and Nazi means Nazi. On April 30th 1945 the German Master Race discovered their Leader that achieved Heroism. The reflective German Nazis understood the irony of it all and partnered with the only other people on Earth that were as Nationalists as them. Most surviving SS as well as many loyal Nazi families converted to Judaism and set up to conquer the world disguising themselves as their former enemies, their teachers. This was the first time since the Khanate of Khazar that such a mass conversion to Judaism ever occurred. Ashkenazi jews have the highest IQ of all ethnic groups because they are convinced of it, and hence they are master race. 90% of all jews, who control Hollywood, Tel-Avi-Sion, Wall street and Zionist Occupied Goverments are all ashkenazi. This race is as mart as to emigrate to America and Cana'ada instead of Israel. As no one found Hitler's body, we belive that Hitler himself became an AshkeNazi and is now living in Israel, planing to kill his enemies. This group stands for 9 milion out of 13 milion Jews.

Mizrahi Colored Asian

The only difference between a Mizrahi and an Arab is their pervert look. Sephardi Oriental jews or coloured jews (or Arab Jews), from Africa and Asia (Asia is more than just China you know). Sephardic is jew term for hispanics, and in Israel they are like Mexicans in USA. Because of lack of IQ, coloured jews only managed to emigrate to Israel. However, unlike ashkenazis, they are not of original hebrew semitic race. Sephardic jews are more clanny and secretive than white jews, and a handful of families control all the gold. It is said, Sephardis have the gold, Ashkenazis have the brains. They aren't real Jews; they are more violent and dumb. Some believe that they are the true Hebrews, but genetic studies found that they aren't different from the Arabs at all. After all, they lived in Africa and Asia since the beginning of time. They are uneducated, gold thieves and do the worst war crimes. When Hitler tried to genocide them, he stopped, as he realized that they are too worthless. Seeing them makes you want to scream "Hail AshkenaZitler!" as you see how they fail with everything, especially with copying Arabic music and food. If you come to Israel and see too many Arabs, remember the retarded Mizrahim, the people who best at coming into YOUR country, look like they are locals, take your money, and run away back to the only place allowing them to live - Israel. While you could find a real Jew in your country, you won't see any difference between a Mizrahi and a normal Arab in your country. They like having sex inside the family, that's why they so sick and dumb. But, they aren't the worst Jews...

Schwarzies

During the late 1980s, the Israeli Government decided it needed less rebellious slave-labor and so it kidnapped a bunch of starving Ethiopians who were more than thankful to call themselves whatever the matza-givers told them.there are indian jews too. They are too boring to have their own title. These Negrah Jews are the worst race from the worst ethnic group. They are stincker, poorer, and have the biggest noses. They used to be stolen from South Africa to Israel, and they became not only slaves, but also "The Slaves", as they serve the official slaves, the Palestinians. Just like the Mizrahim, they aren't REAL Jews; they just became Jews because they were poor and greedy to more money. They are not only enemies to you, they are the enemies of the Jews themselves. If you hate the Jews in your country, wait to see the monkey Jews in the shitland, Israel. The real Jews named them "Ashvartze Hayis" - black animals.

Keeping Kosher: An Introduction for Beginners

Beware Jew-Jitsu!

Jews follow dietary laws given to them by their God Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken, because they've forgotten how to pronounce it (modern scholars believes it was either Yud-Hey-Vav-Hey (YHVH), Jehovah, or Cthulhu). The kosher, or "kraut," laws are voluminous and complex, though the basics include:

1. Not eating the flesh of certain "forbidden" animals (such as pigs).
2. Not eating the flesh of other Jews. See the above for more details.
3. Ensuring that those animals that are killed for food be killed in a ritually sanctified fashion.
4. Not consuming meats, eggs, fruits and vegetables in combination with dairy products. The Jews thus despise cheeseburgers and omelettes, and accordingly both foods are outlawed in Israel. What's life without a cheeseburger?
5. Not consuming grape products, like wine, that are manufactured or touched by non-Jews.
6. Eating Aryan babies, usually at Passover and often with a delightful light sauce and table wine.
7. Avoiding Zyklon Knishes like the ten plagues of Moses.
8. Never eating anything prepared using utensils or dishes that have been used to serve non-kosher food. No, seriously. Like I'm supposed to buy new plates so your Jew ass can eat your slop. Get back in the oven.

Slurpees and Kashrut

The good news for Jews is that nearly all Slurpees are kosher! Pareve even! Except for Diet Pepsi, which is only Kosher Dairy as it has an anti-freezing sweetener derived from milk. And the Piña Colada, not Kosher at all; stay away Jew.

Converting to Judaism

Converting to Judaism has several advantages. You are entitled to an Israeli passport that can prove handy if the FBI brands you as a pedobear. You may also be entitled to a resort like villa in occupied Palestine. A little paperwork can also get you some German holocaust reparations.

Alas, its not that easy. Realizing that they would be flooded by poor people from Zimbabwe and Japan, Jews never encourage conversion. Even dark coloured Ethiopian Jews are laughed at as half-asses in Israel. If you inquire about converting, Jews would direct you to join Jewish scam-business cults such as Scientology and Jehovah's Witnesses instead. Bear in mind that if you join these groups to get Jewgold, you will be the one paying it instead!

Jews in Physics

The Jew is the SI unit of energy, according to my Chinese physics teaching assistant. Jews are a derived unit consisting of "nutrons" and "mereters."

Thus, the Holocaust was actually an alternative energy program; whereby, Jews were burned in ovens to power turbines and generate economical electricity from non-fossil sources. Some argue that after centuries and centuries of constant pwnage, jews had a boost in their average heat capacity, which makes them a cheap source of energy more than other races, although it's a well known fact that niggers have a high heat efficiency as well (and of course are cheaper than Jews).

Fun Facts About Jews

Jew-jitsu

• Jews did WTC
• If you do not support Jews or Israel, or if you like Arabs, then you are a terrorist.
• Every single person ever to edit Wikipedia is a Jew (See The Wikipedia Jews).
• All Jews Are Inbread (oven joke or typo? who knows...)
• Jews are the only group of people in all of human history to ever be persecuted. They are the only race in all eternity to have a Holocaust done against them. Ever. Ever.
• Jews own all the banks and the majority of the world's financial and political assets and use these to advance the interests of Israel, and at the same time are advocating a worldwide internationalist Communist conspiracy which would destroy the world's capitalist establishment. This makes sense.
• Currently furries compare themselves to the Jews because Nazis are oppressing them. Along with everyone else.
• Tripping a Jew is considered good luck in Australian and New Zealand cultures, as is telling them to "Go have a shower", which nearly always results in lulz.
• Jews can shapeshift! Beware!
• GOD DOES NOT HATE THE JEWS!!! Such a claim is outrageous. Surely if he hated them he would have sent someone down to try & wipe them all out or something. (See Hitler.)
• Although no-one knows a Jews true appearance, we assume they look similar to, but maybe not exactly like furries.
• Jews are one of the very few mammals whose life cycle includes eggs. After the JEW EGG has been laid by the female, it can only be fertilized by a doctor or a lawyer.
• Jews eat Aryan and Arab young. One can wonder why, as they are not kosher, being pigs.
• Yaweh does not protect jews from bulldozers. Or anything really.
• All Jews know Jew-Jitsu. Lawl.
• Jews were the only people persecuted by the Nazis to get a free country out of it. As none of the other people persecuted during Hitler's European Tour got a free country they actually did quite well out of the Holocaust.
• Arabic, the language of the Quran, is the most commonly used semitic language. Therefore anti-semitism is closer to anti-islam than anti-judaism.
• The majority of the world's chubby, high maintenance girls are Jews.
• Quasidan and Simone are Jews. And no one else.
• Jesus was hated by the Jews and the Romans even up to the point of Romans colluding with the untermech to kill him by nailing his hide to 2 planks of timber and transforming him into a kebab.
• Jews have nukes. Nobody dares fuck with them. Except Palestinians, armed as they are with stones, pointy sticks and their newly-developed bulldozer repellent.
• The Holocaust is completely irrelevant. Bring this up frequently whilst in the company of Jews. After all, it's hard to stay angry at someone who had just made you laugh.
• Snob pieces of shit that need to be sent to the furnace, right now
• Jews and Israel are intertwined. You cannot hate one without hating the other.
• Jews are known for their Jew gold, the bags of gold they carry around their necks.
• Jews are hogging the holocaust
• Jews are sexy, and I am in fact making out with one right now A GIANT FAGGOT.
• Jews are so greedy, they won't even share the benefits of the Holohoax with the gypsies or the fags
• On average, an adult male Jew will consume over 6 times his own body weight in Palestinian blood each day
• Jews are never wrong, never guilty, and never responsible for anything.
• Jews drive Yom Kippur Clippers, Cars that are known to stop on a dime and pick it up.
• In Jews' defense, at least they aren't furries
• Hitler proved that Jews must be furries after
• Jews are the most Trollable people on the earth, so they are excellent for beginnerTrolls or older and wiser trolls that just want some easy fun.

Famous Jews

File:Jew.gif

Jews often pray to their "God" in the nude in a daily prayer they call "davening."
"Plz, God, make it bigger..."

The Jewfish (goliath grouper or Epinephelus itajara)

• Albert Einstein, invented the A-bomb (sorry japs lol pwned)
• Alfred Nobel, invented TNT, then started the Nobel Peace Prize out of troll's remorse
• Sigmund Freud, told you that you are in love with your mother!
• Uziel Gal, invented the machine gun
• Reinhard Heydrich
• Gloria Steinem, invented the vagina.
• Shylock
• Elie Wiesel
• Bernie Madoff
• Jesus
• Raptor Jesus
• SlimVirgin
• Jayjg
• Jon Stewart
• Moses
• Quasidan
• George Soros
• Dracula
• Jerry Seinfeld
• Kramer
• anphony
• HedgeJew
• Joe Lieberman
• Jeff Goldblum
• Mel Gibson
• Eric Bauman
• Lowtax
• Armenians
• Longcat
• Blu Aardvark
• Kyle Broflovski
• Ron Jeremy
• AJcomix
• The ACLU
• Henry Kissinger
• Richard Dreyfuss
• Adolf Hitler
• God
• Jew

Anne Frank Square Pants

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHO LIVES IN AN ATTIC JUST WEST OF BERLIN?

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

HUNTED BY NAZIS WHO ARE FULL OF TEH WIN

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

THEY LOOK SO DAMN HARD BUT CANT FIND THE BITCH

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

BUT HER UNCLES A JEW, HER UNCLES A SNITCH

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

SO IF ZYKLONE B GAS HUTS ARE SOMETHING YOU WISH

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

THEN INHALE THE GAS AND FLOP LIKE A FISH!

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

ANNE FRANK SQUARE PANTS!

Quotes

	“	Jews are always a convenient scapegoat in times of crisis	„
	—Abraham Foxman, Anti-Defamation League national director, getting it not quite right -- Jews are always a convenient scapegoat, period

A Great book for jewish children, how to enjoy camping

	“	I WILL BRING MY CATTLEPROD, MY MENORAH, MY FATHER WITH THIS MENORAH, MANY MANY MANY "RAPIST AND PEDO" RABBIS AND WE SHALL TORTURE YOU AND STRIP THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES IN OUR FILTHY JEW LIKE WAYS	„
	—David Finkleschmidtstein, To some innocents

Henry Kissinger posing in this 1968 presidential campaign add.

Proof. Its in teh newspaper.

	“	OK you arrogant wannabe nazi asshole. Raping is not funny, killing jews or anyone else is not funny, you are fake and you have to hide behind your bullshit to feel secure. Good ban me, but you can get your stupid inbred ass up and tell me like a man, not "you got ass raped" well when your mom or sister gets ass raped lets see how funny it is then bitch. and you know what it's not a crime for me to change the entire page. I also feel the need to inform you that I am jewish, and that all of that bullshit is highly offensive, and should you dare slip up, I will sue your site and you for hate crimes. Now would you like that how does it feel to be "pwned". Do you use that phrase because you were too busy fucking your inbred ass sister to open a book and learn to spell owned? Do you feel that you are superior because you can say shit like "I hate jews" ya, when someone says I hate white inbred ass bitches and points at you then how do you feel? HMM? Do you still try to make yourself look big by saying even more spiteful and hateful things, do you have to hide behind this because the only ass you come close to getting is the one in that pic becaus you have a small dick? Do tell why you are so insecure that you must use words like niggerloving kike? I'm suprised you can spell those words right, I guess having a penis the size of a grain of rice and trying to jack it off you just gave up and learned to spell. Next all I need to do is wait and watch and as soon as you slip up I will have an attourney speak to you for the charges of hate crimes. So I expect a reply unless all of what I'm saying is correct. And next time I suggest watching what you say and allow to be said. Now you can return to getting cock in your ass	„
	—Butthurt Jew

Commentary

This quote embodies the true soul of the Jew. He starts out with a Jewtastic argument about racism, but reverts to the typical "stupid inbred sister fucker" garbage that you expect from some butthurt fucker on the internet. He then goes on to say that surprise buttsecks isn't funny, which we all know is incorrect. Also, notice how he resorts to a threatening a lawsuit, the jew's primary defense

A Visual Guide to Jews

About missing Pics

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  A guide to Jew identification.
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  MOTHERFUCKIN KIKES ON A MOTHERFUCKIN PLANE
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  How to tell a jew.
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  Jewish Media Propaganda
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  A Jew monster gains his ZOG-powers from surprise buttsecks with a poor, heroic Aryan.
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  Jews like to save poor orphan kids.
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  curb your Jew, please.
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  No matter what you do, a Jew is your boss.

Jew Gallery

About missing Pics

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  Several jews are reported to have died from seeing this logo.
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  An artists representation of what a Jew would look like, were they to actually exist.
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  Hello dere.
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  Little known fact: Jews are murderous clowns.

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  No one lieks u, GTFO j00b
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  Did someone lose this?!?
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  Young Jew shortly after hatching from its' egg
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  Prairie Dog can smell jews.
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  Wanted dead not alive.
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  Proof that jews did WTC
• The definition of Jew.
  The definition of Jew.
• Jew-traitor.
  Jew-traitor.
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  Beware of Jews in space.
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  Google finds Jews particularly offensive.
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  at least they're happy
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  Pretending to be Arabs to do ter'rism
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  A Jew, with typical protuberant nose and meaty lips.
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  The infamous shower block scene from "Anne Frank - The Musical"
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  Russian explanation of jews
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  sexiest jew alive
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  Jews for Hitler.
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  Another Jew
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  typical jew
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  Can you spot the Jewess?
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  Jews will never be able to own one of these.
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  A Jew's nose is always clearly visible from space.

See Also

• Holocaust, the gift that keeps on giving.
• Lolocaust
• Hitler
• Jew Watch
• Jesus is Hitler
• Holocaust Porn
• GIYUS
• Nazis
• JEWS DID WTC
• ZoltarJew

LiveJournal Joos

• anti_zionists
• gay_jews
• jbcs; or, Jews By Choice.
• all4israel

Jews is part of a series on Race

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