Jerry Seinfeld

Naup, he's a chargin' his lazer.

Jerry Seinfeld^✡ is a talentless Jew "comedian" mostly famous for other peoples' work. He is also famous for being the least funny character on a show named after him, which of course defines fail. He has made billions of dollars off the bad taste of yuppies, and upon the death of Milton Berle, he inherited the title of "Biggest Douchebag in Comedy" (but later lost it to Dane Cook). Much of his precious jewgold was later given to Mr. Xenu, which was rather unusual considering he's a freaking greedy Jew, luckily the action would result in him being banned from expensive Jew whore houses.

Jerry in his Scientologist fantasy

The Stand-up Comedy

Hey, have you ever noticed how all observational comedians just take received opinion and blatant cliches and spout them off at the audience as if nobody's ever thought of them before? And they keep presenting statements as questions? Waves hand out at the audience, palm facing upward I mean, come on? What is the deal? And then they'll try to expand the joke by basically just repeating it in a specific context, like how I watched this Jerry Seinfeld guy and he did exactly that? Walks to the other side of the stage, continuing the arm movement. And, you know, the jokes usually just peter out without a proper punchline, and yadda yadda yadda?

TV Show

Jerry's show revolves around the love story of him and his bride-to-be Anne Frank. He tries to escape the Nazis by dressing up as a faggot in tight jeans and trainers and eats a diet consisting of milk and cereal. OI VEY! Seinfeld had this TV show named after him in the nineties that is played endlessly on every channel everywhere. It involves a group of four Jews; Seinfeld is the central jew, one still lives with his parents, one is a Schicksa Feminista and one acts like a fucktard while not being racist.

For some reason, people found this formula involving "friends" funny and as a result it was copied endlessly, especially by another show called - believe it or not - Friends.

Typical Episode of Seinfeld

“	The thing I don’t understand about the suicide person is the people who try and commit suicide for some reason they don’t die and that’s it. They stop trying. Why? Why don’t they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact it’s worse because now they’ve found out one more thing you stink at.	„
—Jerry Seinfeld encouraging people to keep trying at suicide

The Man Behind the Mask

Just as you're heading off to bed, they announce that Jerry Seinfeld will appear as a guest on this evening's talk show. Oh joy, you think: unlike most actors, who are always disappointingly vapid and self-absorbed, comedians normally tend to be just as entertaining in person as their on-screen personae. (Example: if Robin Williams or Ricky Gervais is slated on that night's roster, drop fucking everything and get thee to your nearest boob-tube, as those guys are, as their status as professional comedians would suggest, quite funny in person). You sit through the host's terrible monologue and sidekick banter, waiting to see that goofball from your most cherished sitcom of the 90s. And then Jerry Seinfeld opens his fucking mouth, and you couldn't be more shocked if somebody had just unzipped their fly and canned pasta poured forth from it. To say the man is unfunny in person would be an understatement. Practically every statement he makes reeks of conceited jackassery. He seems to assert points as truth when they're either incorrect or questionable at best, always bickering with the host. Not so different from his character on Seinfeld, only without the residue of humor which Larry David obviously provided the character.

Post-TV Show careers

beeeeeeeees!

Currently, Jerry is a stage "comedian" again, since he lacks the talent to set up another comedy show without Larry David telling him what to do. He also whores himself out doing TV commercials, despite having more money than anyone else in the world. As before, Jerry's typical comedic shtick is to whine and bitch worse than the French about some perfectly innocuous aspect of life. Cobra Commander, his sworn enemy, attempted to clone Seinfeld, but this only ended up in an imperfect copy known as Ben Stiller.

In 2006, Michael Richards accidentally a stand-up performance by screaming, "He's a black person!" and pointing at a heckler. Although, to be fair, the heckler was a nigger, so at least he was being honest.

The whore, Julia Louis-Dryfus, had faded into almost total obscurity. After starring in several pilots that were never picked up, several TV shows that didn't last a full season, several unfunny commercials, and several plays that didn't last the weekend, Dryfus now spends her time huddled around the photo album with her jew husband Tim Kazurinsky remembering the good old days back in the 80's when they were on Saturday Night Live together and weren't thought of as washed up.

George Konstanza committed a suicide bombing, also known as, "appeared in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager". Despite this usually being a career killer, George bounced back with doing commercials, the voice of a foul-mouthed duck on a low-rated basic cable channel, and doing the 'jerk store' bit at corporate motivational seminars.

The hot stays hot!

In 2007, Jerry went head to head against Larry King in a Jew Duel (aka Jewel), but nothing happened. Larry had a sudden case of retard and forgot about statistics when asking a question about Jerry's show. Jerry proceeded to cry and demand camera attention in a failed attempt to defend his unfunny career.

I mean, guys, SRSLY, Jerry Seinfeld sucks, he's not funny and he talks about nothing.

Seinfeld, a XXX parody

Probably a whole lot more interesting than his awesome Sitcom,is the new Seinfeld Porn Parody.Everybody knew this was coming.

Gallery

Gallery of funny About missing Pics

• 
  Michael Richards' new movie.
• 
  Michael Richards' spreading the love.
• 
  Gotta love those Jew$
• 
  Seinfeld being assaulted.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  The cast of Seinfeld being so fucking wacky

Fans

Most fans are people who fail or have no life, and are so sad they drown in shitty Jew comedy. Although studies have also shown that Jerry Seinfeld brings in a huge audience of Oprah lovers, underage preppie whores, and racist Soup Nazis, the ones Lenny Bruce noticed as always saying, "Let's watch the Jew be charming."

See Also

• Jerry
• Jew
• Scientologist Srsly! Salsa? Seltzer!
• FUCKING UNFUNNY!
• Everybody Loves Raymond (aka Seinfeld if it were about Catholics instead of Jew$)
• Kramer
• Zach Braff
• Julia Louis Dreyfus, the one who plays Elaine (that's the curly haired dumbshit whore who has a new boyfriend every episode) likes to attempt to rip-off Goatse Girl

External Links

• How to Write a Seinfeld Episode

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