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Al Qaeda: Difference between revisions

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*1998 Nairobi Embassy Bombing
*1998 Nairobi Embassy Bombing


*2001 [[9/11]] Bombings
*2001 [[9/11]] Attacks


*2004 [[Spain|Madrid]] Metro Bombings
*2004 [[Spain|Madrid]] Metro Bombings

Revision as of 01:47, 2 May 2022

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U Mad?

Al Qæda, otherwise called the Saviors, the Chosen Ones, the Desert Comedians, Ass-Fuckers Of Goats, and Osama's Entourage; is quite possibly the greatest trolling group still in existence, falling just short of the legendary Nazis and China. Responsible for shenanigans that the entire world has laughed at, Al Qaeda has caused such a humorous arousal, the sheer force of all the lolling has caused buildings to literally collapse.

Once led by the famous Osama Bin Laden, the comedian's life was tragically cut short when a roving gang of gun wielding white abominations went Tupac on his ass, as well as his totally forgotten, utterly expendable bed sheets. Known as the purveyor of truth and the penultimate arbiter of justice just prior to that of ED, Osama is still missed by Al Qaeda. The ongoing search will not cease to find and eradicate whoever is responsible for such a heinous misdeed. He and his acolytes will be eternally remembered as one of the top ten on the IRL scoreboard.

Trolling Achievements

The Opulent McMansion in which a large faction of Al Qaeda operated from, complete with Pools Closed and Dungeon Dad.
The Jews got their cover-story ready in plenty of time

Despite their most apparent success while in coalition with the faggots, Jews and Dubya, Al Qaeda has done a series of extraordinary acts of charity throughout history, such as:

Edward Snowden and Julian Assange fans.
  • 1992 Yemen Hotel Bombing
  • 1998 Nairobi Embassy Bombing
  • 2005 Bali Bombings
  • 2005 London Suicide Bombings on Public Transport
  • 2008 Danish Embassy Bombing
  • 2009-2011 Baghdad Bombings
  • 2013 finally had their shit stolen by "Islamic State" lol

Recently however, the group has been lurking more than raiding, and since their leader has bitten the bullet after the cash incinerator that was The War on Terror eventually reached a significant (and the first) milestone after nearly a decade, the group has all but disbanded. Some Argue The Man used Al Qaeda as a scapegoat for an excuse to touch everybody's junk and completely turn the airport industry public by constantly supporting the bloated, slow, "secure" shuttle system they made them become, while also allowing them to operate as a private business by letting them skyrocket airfare to incredulous costs. Nonetheless, the world eagerly awaits their next their next attacks to arrive.

ISIS

Instructions for An Hero via SUV

Al Qaeda has a small-dicked bastard son named ISIS who is currently pwning most of the shit parts of Iraq and Syria. Their plan is to create an Islamic state that will spread throughout the Muslim world. The IStards are creaming their pink panties in places like the backwaters of Syria, in other words the few places where a bunch of goatfucking manchildren can get away with "taking over". They get no bitches so they run around in stolen Toyota trucks, shooting at everything that moves. Yee-ha.

ISIS is full of half-Arab cuntboys who ran away from home in places like Norway, New Jersey and Texas because Debbie Sue din't give 'em no blowjobs. They are all PISSED and Milo Yiannopoulos doesn't really "speak to them" anymore. Plus their Xbox bricked itself. So they steal mommy's American Express and take a one-way to Damascus, then some lolmaster gives them a black cloak and a beat-up AK and tells them to "go out and shoot some infidels". And they don't do that----instead they blow themselves to Allah accidentally or do some other stupidity. Meanwhile the "leaders" keep all the damn money their idiot slaves stole from banks, and laugh at the morons who keep coming to their camp day after day. Begging to "join the jihad" because they got no blowjobs at home. Men's Rights Forever!

Publications

See also

Al Qaeda
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Al Qaeda is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck