Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.

Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

If you however are super impatient, email Tabs directly at [email protected] with your preferred username and associated email address AND ONLY TO REGISTER.

Amy Schumer: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
imported>Oddguy
imported>Oddguy
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
[[File:beefcurtains.jpg|right|thumb|This is what she really looks like]]
[[File:beefcurtains.jpg|right|thumb|This is what she really looks like]]
'''Amy Schumer'''<sup>[[Jew|&#10017;]]</sup>, better known as "that bleached-blonde monster Jew-clit", is a [[obvious]] [[woman|female]] [[comedian]] who can't stop talking about her monstrous canyon-like vag and the [[stupid|shitty]] anal-fisting fest that she calls a "sex life" to the pathetic slugs who watch [[Comedy Central]] late at night. Like that pathologically-insecure freak [[Sarah Silverman]] who preceded her, Fatty Amy is so desperate for attention/laughs/abuse/anything that she'll walk around NYC streets, flopping her cellulite to clear the sidewalk and asking people [[retarded]] questions about their sex lives---before she lifts her skirt and flashes them. It's so horrifying (think of giant purple meat curtains flapping in the breeze and spewing week-old semen ''everywhere'') that her victims run away screaming in agony and gouging their own eyes out. That's show biz!
'''Amy Schumer'''<sup>[[Jew|&#10017;]]</sup>, better known as "that bleached-blonde monster Jew-clit", is an [[obvious]] [[woman|female]] [[comedian]] who can't stop talking about her monstrous canyon-like vag and the [[stupid|shitty]] anal-fisting fest that she calls a "sex life" to the pathetic slugs who watch [[Comedy Central]] late at night. Like that pathologically-insecure freak [[Sarah Silverman]] who preceded her, Fatty Amy is so desperate for attention/laughs/abuse/anything that she'll walk around NYC streets, flopping her cellulite to clear the sidewalk and asking people [[retarded]] questions about their sex lives---before she lifts her skirt and flashes them. It's so horrifying (think of giant purple meat curtains flapping in the breeze and spewing week-old semen ''everywhere'') that her victims run away screaming in agony and gouging their own eyes out. That's show biz!


Of course this is a successful show, stupid question. [http://www.metacritic.com/tv/inside-amy-schumer] It's called "Up Amy Schumer's Ass", because Viacom headheeb Sumner Redstone<sup>[[Jew|&#10017;]]</sup> is really into shoving things into really big anuses. The first skit on the very first episode was her auditioning for a "[[2girls1cup]]" thing, which is so very appropriate. Her feces probably taste like [[Howard Stern|fine chocolate mousse]]. Mixed with gefilte fish and pastrami. In fact, if you ever want to catch a wild Amy Schumer, just set a trap with a Carnegie Deli pastrami sandwich with extra mustard and severed penises. Can't fail.
Of course this is a successful show, stupid question. [http://www.metacritic.com/tv/inside-amy-schumer] It's called "Up Amy Schumer's Ass", because Viacom headheeb Sumner Redstone<sup>[[Jew|&#10017;]]</sup> is really into shoving things into really big anuses. The first skit on the very first episode was her auditioning for a "[[2girls1cup]]" thing, which is so very appropriate. Her feces probably taste like [[Howard Stern|fine chocolate mousse]]. Mixed with gefilte fish and pastrami. In fact, if you ever want to catch a wild Amy Schumer, just set a trap with a Carnegie Deli pastrami sandwich with extra mustard and severed penises. Can't fail.

Revision as of 18:53, 28 January 2016

This is what she really looks like

Amy Schumer✡, better known as "that bleached-blonde monster Jew-clit", is an obvious female comedian who can't stop talking about her monstrous canyon-like vag and the shitty anal-fisting fest that she calls a "sex life" to the pathetic slugs who watch Comedy Central late at night. Like that pathologically-insecure freak Sarah Silverman who preceded her, Fatty Amy is so desperate for attention/laughs/abuse/anything that she'll walk around NYC streets, flopping her cellulite to clear the sidewalk and asking people retarded questions about their sex lives---before she lifts her skirt and flashes them. It's so horrifying (think of giant purple meat curtains flapping in the breeze and spewing week-old semen everywhere) that her victims run away screaming in agony and gouging their own eyes out. That's show biz!

Of course this is a successful show, stupid question. [1] It's called "Up Amy Schumer's Ass", because Viacom headheeb Sumner Redstone✡ is really into shoving things into really big anuses. The first skit on the very first episode was her auditioning for a "2girls1cup" thing, which is so very appropriate. Her feces probably taste like fine chocolate mousse. Mixed with gefilte fish and pastrami. In fact, if you ever want to catch a wild Amy Schumer, just set a trap with a Carnegie Deli pastrami sandwich with extra mustard and severed penises. Can't fail.

The origins of the monster

Her anus, maybe?

As it says on WP, and this is too fucking bizarre to make up:

 
“ 		 
Her father is the first cousin of U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer, making Amy Schumer and Chuck Schumer first cousins once removed. Her great-grandmother, Estelle Schumer, was a bootlegger in Manhattan.
  		„
 

In short, she's the hellspawn of Ashkenazi Jewish criminals and ass-rapists, plus Chuck Schumer. But they do the usual Passover crap, so it's perfectly acceptable! Maybe she'll marry the Senator and shit out deformed Heeb-monsters after eating the bitter herbs (they turn fetuses into three-headed slugs, you know).

How did she get "famous"? By winning standup-comedy competitions, and yes that kind of bullshit does exist. She won by talking about her huge floppy vag-lips and her big fat ass. For hours at a time. She's all about self-promotion, she eats and shits press releases. Which helps to explain the hambeast and the nay-remarkable tendency of her ass to crush chairs and sofas. And at all times, the pathological sexual insecurities are on full display. See her professionally-girly-girly website for more psychopathology.

Thanks to her "brilliant comedy", she talked Judd Apatow into directing a film she wrote. And then went on talk shows and claimed she didn't "promote it" or "push it" to anyone, it "just happened". It's called, and this is not a joke, Trainwreck. That should be sufficient warning. (Not enough warning? A massacre occurred at a showing of Trainwreck in Louisiana, swamp monster capital of the world.)

She's ALSO Not Funny

The source of her RAW POWER
   
“ 		 
The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
  		„
  		 

Yes, this is totally her face

Videos

The blob pretends to be an MTV reporter, to promote a shitty new movie she's in
No Schumer hambeast can say no to this!

The reviews

   
“ 		 
Inside Amy is by far the worse comedy I have ever seen on television. Not funny at all. Very boring. Amy should be arrested for putting this show on television and wasting millions of hours of American lives. This show will be canceled soon because of how bad it is.
  		„
  		 

Pictures

WARNING! THIS IS A GALLERY OF SCHUMER'S DISGUSTING PICTURES. TRUST US, YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS. OPEN AT OWN RISK AND DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU!


GALLERY OF HORRORS About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Very, very questionable.
    Very, very questionable.
  • Look at her flabby ass.
    Look at her flabby ass.
  • All she can fuck are robots.
    All she can fuck are robots.

External Links

Amy Schumer
is part of a series on
Jews
Patriarchs [-+]

Adam Katz • Adam L. Goldstein • Al Franken • Alan Moore • Albert Einstein • Alex Hirsch • Alicia Vikander • Aliza Shvarts • Amy Pascal • Amy Schumer • Andrew Breitbart • Andy Kaufman • Angelina Jolie • Anita Sarkeesian • Ariana Grande • Ayn Rand • Baruch Goldstein • Beastie Boys • Ben Garrison • Ben Shapiro • Ben Stein • Bernie Goetz • Bernie Madoff • Bernie Sanders • Bobby Kotick • Bourg Productions • Brie Larson • Casey Neistat • Chelsea Clinton • Chris Savino • Chuck Schumer • Dan Harmon • Dan Schneider • Daniel Benfield • Danny Elfman • Daron Nefcy • David Draiman • David Katz • Debbie Schlussel • Dianne Feinstein • Donald Drumpf • Doomentio • Dylan Klebold • Ed Rendell • Einsidler • Eli Kozin • Elliot Rodger • Elon Musk • EmiNet • Eric Abramov • Ethan Klein • Frank Miller • George Soros • Girlvinyl • Greville Janner • Harvey Weinstein • Henry Kissinger • Henry Makow • Howard Stern • Ice Poseidon • Jacob Stellmach • Jared Knabenbauer • JarlaxleArtemis • Jeff Goldblum • Jeffrey Epstein • Jennifer Lawrence • Jerry Seinfeld • Jerry Springer • Jesus • JewWario • Jim Sterling • Joe Lieberman • John Kricfalusi • John Oliver • Jon Stewart • Jonathan Yaniv • Joshua Conner Moon • Jussie Smollett • Justin Roiland • Kevin Smith • Kumichoo • Kurt Eichenwald • Laaiti Ekenstéen • Lauren Faust • Lena Dunham • Linda Mack • Lyor Cohen • MandoPony • Mark Zuckerberg • Matt Stone • Maury Povich • Mia Janin • Michael Bloomberg • savetheinternet • Michael Richards • Michael Savage • Mila Kunis • Miriam Lazewatsky • Monica Lewinsky • Monica Rial • Moses • Moshe Finkberg • MundaneMatt • Natalie Portman • Neil Gaiman • Nihilistic Snake • PACKGOD • Pamela Geller • PewDiePie • Quinton Reviews • Rachael MacFarlane • Rahm Emanuel • R@ygold • Rebecca Sugar • Roman Polanski • Ron Jeremy • Rupert Murdoch • Sacha Baron Cohen • Sam Hyde • Seth MacFarlane • Seth Rogen • Susan Wojcicki • Tara Strong • The Amazing Racist • The Fine Bros • The Krassenstein Brothers • Tim Burton • Todd Goldman • Todd Howard • Tony Goldmark • Trevor Noah • Weev • Wil Wheaton • Woody Allen • YandereDev • Yank Barry

Habitats [-+]
Traditions [-+]
H8s [-+]

Amy Schumer is part of a series on

Whores

Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.

Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=Amy_Schumer&oldid=132224"