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Al Qaeda: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 23:37, 14 August 2016
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Al Qæda, otherwise called the Saviors, the Chosen Ones, the Desert Comedians, Ass-Fuckers Of Goats, and Osama's Entourage; is quite possibly the greatest trolling group still in existence, falling just short of the legendary Nazis and China. Responsible for shenanigans that the entire world has laughed at, Al Qaeda has caused such a humorous arousal, the sheer force of all the lolling has caused buildings to literally collapse.
Once led by the famous Osama Bin Laden, the comedian's life was tragically cut short when a roving gang of gun wielding white abominations went Tupac on his ass, as well as his totally forgotten, utterly expendable bed sheets. Known as the purveyor of truth and the penultimate arbiter of justice just prior to that of ED, Osama is still missed by Al Qaeda. The ongoing search will not cease to find and eradicate whoever is responsible for such a heinous misdeed. He and his acolytes will be eternally remembered as one of the top ten on the IRL scoreboard.
Trolling Achievements
Despite their most apparent success while in coalition with the faggots, Jews and Dubya, Al Qaeda has done a series of extraordinary acts of charity throughout history, such as:
- 1992 Yemen Hotel Bombing
- 1998 Nairobi Embassy Bombing
- 2001 9/11 Bombings
- 2005 Bali Bombings
- 2008 Danish Embassy Bombing
- 2009-2011 Baghdad Bombings
- 2013 finally had their shit stolen by "Islamic State" lol
Recently however, the group has been lurking more than raiding, and since their leader has bitten the bullet after the cash incinerator that was The War on Terror eventually reached a significant (and the first) milestone after nearly a decade, the group has all but disbanded. Some Argue The Man used Al Qaeda as a scapegoat for an excuse to touch everybody's junk and completely turn the airport industry public by constantly supporting the bloated, slow, "secure" shuttle system they made them become, while also allowing them to operate as a private business by letting them skyrocket airfare to incredulous costs. Nonetheless, the world eagerly awaits their next their next attacks to arrive.
ISIS
Al Qaeda has a small-dicked bastard son named ISIS who is currently pwning most of the shit parts of Iraq and Syria. Their plan is to create an Islamic state that will spread throughout the Muslim world. The IStards are creaming their pink panties in places like the backwaters of Syria, in other words the few places where a bunch of goatfucking manchildren can get away with "taking over". They get no bitches so they run around in stolen Toyota trucks, shooting at everything that moves. Yee-ha.
ISIS is full of half-Arab cuntboys who ran away from home in places like Norway, New Jersey and Texas because Debbie Sue din't give 'em no blowjobs. They are all PISSED and Milo Yiannopoulos doesn't really "speak to them" anymore. Plus their Xbox bricked itself. So they steal mommy's American Express and take a one-way to Damascus, then some lolmaster gives them a black cloak and a beat-up AK and tells them to "go out and shoot some infidels". And they don't do that----instead they blow themselves to Allah accidentally or do some other stupidity. Meanwhile the "leaders" keep all the damn money their idiot slaves stole from banks, and laugh at the morons who keep coming to their camp day after day. Begging to "join the jihad" because they got no blowjobs at home. Men's Rights Forever!
Publications
See also
Al Qaeda is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |