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CISPA: Difference between revisions
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{{spoiler|THE THING [http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20120426/14505718671/insanity-cispa-just-got-way-worse-then-passed-rushed-vote.shtml ACTUALLY PASSED] IN THE HOUSE, WITH NEW PROVISIONS!!!1!!1! CALL YOUR SENATOR NOW OR WE'RE ALL FUCKED}} | |||
[[File:130-126~Big-Brother-is-Watching-You-Posters.jpg|thumb|CISPA in a nutshell.]] | |||
Do you [[Why do you hate freedom?|hate internet freedom]]? Are you pissed [[SOPA]] got shot down by those hipsters? Good news! The [[American]] government has just the thing for you! '''CISPA''' (also known as [[shit noone cares about|H.R. 3523]], The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, and SOPA MK II [[Electric Boogaloo]]) is the newest great idea shat out by the man in Washington currently awaiting approval in the <strike>House</strike> Senate. | Do you [[Why do you hate freedom?|hate internet freedom]]? Are you pissed [[SOPA]] got shot down by those hipsters? Good news! The [[American]] government has just the thing for you! '''CISPA''' (also known as [[shit noone cares about|H.R. 3523]], The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, and SOPA MK II [[Electric Boogaloo]]) is the newest great idea shat out by the man in Washington currently awaiting approval in the <strike>House</strike> Senate. | ||
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[[Last Thursday|In November, 2011]], when all the cool kids were trying to get their internet censorship bills pushed through the House and Senate, Republican and professional asshat Michael Rogers of [[Michigan]] decided it would be a good idea to write his own bill to control who looks at what [[porn]], and apparently didn't get the memo that his buddy Lamar Smith caused a complete clusterfuck and shitstorm with his bill until it got completely [[cockblock]]ed altogether. | [[Last Thursday|In November, 2011]], when all the cool kids were trying to get their internet censorship bills pushed through the House and Senate, Republican and professional asshat Michael Rogers of [[Michigan]] decided it would be a good idea to write his own bill to control who looks at what [[porn]], and apparently didn't get the memo that his buddy Lamar Smith caused a complete clusterfuck and shitstorm with his bill until it got completely [[cockblock]]ed altogether. | ||
Essentially what he's trying to do allow any company who claims to be promoting "[[Lulzsec|internet security]]" (think [[AT&T]]) to not only track and monitor what any end user does on the internet, but do it without a warrant or even reason to believe said person is a threat (which even the Patriot Act required) and not only [[fap|masturbate]] to the pictures of your [[jailbait|little sister]], but then also turn the information over to [[Communism|Glorious Mother America]]. | Essentially what he's trying to do allow any company who claims to be promoting "[[Lulzsec|internet security]]" (think [[AT&T]]) to not only track and monitor what any end user does on the internet, but do it without a warrant or even reason to believe said person is a threat (which even the Patriot Act required) and not only [[fap|masturbate]] to the pictures of your [[jailbait|little sister]], but then also turn the information over to [[Communism|Glorious Mother America]] so that they can [[v&|prosecute]] you. If that wasn't [[batshit|crazy]] enough, this bill also grants the corporations who give out your information immunity from civil lawsuits. | ||
<center><Youtube>6rVV5tFCuqo</Youtube></center> | <center><Youtube>6rVV5tFCuqo</Youtube></center> | ||
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==THIS JUST IN== | ==THIS JUST IN== | ||
[[Image:Scumbagcongresscispa.png|thumb|250px|You mad, bro?]] | [[Image:Scumbagcongresscispa.png|thumb|250px|[[Scumbag Steve|You mad, bro?]]]] | ||
The fucking thing passed the House of Representatives. Break out the tinfoil hats! | The fucking thing passed the House of Representatives. Break out the tinfoil hats! | ||
===NEW PROVISIONS=== | ===NEW PROVISIONS=== | ||
[http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20120426/14505718671/insanity-cispa-just-got-way-worse-then-passed-rushed-vote.shtml It's now been confirmed] that the final bill passed by the congress | Previously, this bill only allowed your privacy to be violated under the vaugeness of "cybersecurity."[http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20120426/14505718671/insanity-cispa-just-got-way-worse-then-passed-rushed-vote.shtml It's now been confirmed] that the final bill passed by the congress specifies three ways for your privacy to be violated: | ||
1. investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crime<br> | 1. investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crime<br> | ||
2. protection of individuals<br> | 2. protection of individuals<br> | ||
3. [[Kidnapping|protection of children]]<br> | 3. [[Kidnapping|protection of children]]<br> | ||
==Anonymous Fights Back== | ==Anonymous Fights Back== | ||
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==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
*[http://fuckcispa.com FuckCISPA.com] | |||
*http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112hr3523ih/pdf/BILLS-112hr3523ih.pdf - Read the shitfest<br> | *http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112hr3523ih/pdf/BILLS-112hr3523ih.pdf - Read the shitfest<br> | ||
*http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/112/hr3523 - [[tl;dr]] version | *http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/112/hr3523 - [[tl;dr]] version | ||
Latest revision as of 19:49, 20 February 2013
Do you hate internet freedom? Are you pissed SOPA got shot down by those hipsters? Good news! The American government has just the thing for you! CISPA (also known as H.R. 3523, The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, and SOPA MK II Electric Boogaloo) is the newest great idea shat out by the man in Washington currently awaiting approval in the House Senate.
History
In November, 2011, when all the cool kids were trying to get their internet censorship bills pushed through the House and Senate, Republican and professional asshat Michael Rogers of Michigan decided it would be a good idea to write his own bill to control who looks at what porn, and apparently didn't get the memo that his buddy Lamar Smith caused a complete clusterfuck and shitstorm with his bill until it got completely cockblocked altogether.
Essentially what he's trying to do allow any company who claims to be promoting "internet security" (think AT&T) to not only track and monitor what any end user does on the internet, but do it without a warrant or even reason to believe said person is a threat (which even the Patriot Act required) and not only masturbate to the pictures of your little sister, but then also turn the information over to Glorious Mother America so that they can prosecute you. If that wasn't crazy enough, this bill also grants the corporations who give out your information immunity from civil lawsuits.
THIS JUST IN
The fucking thing passed the House of Representatives. Break out the tinfoil hats!
NEW PROVISIONS
Previously, this bill only allowed your privacy to be violated under the vaugeness of "cybersecurity."It's now been confirmed that the final bill passed by the congress specifies three ways for your privacy to be violated:
1. investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crime
2. protection of individuals
3. protection of children
Anonymous Fights Back
See also
External Links
- FuckCISPA.com
- http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112hr3523ih/pdf/BILLS-112hr3523ih.pdf - Read the shitfest
- http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/112/hr3523 - tl;dr version
- Funny how Congress can get their shit together when it comes to squashing your liberty, isn't it
| CISPA is part of a series on Politics. |
See also: 2012 Elections • 2016 Presidential Elections • 2020 Presidential Elections • 2024 USA Presidential Elections • Internet Politics • PizzaGate • Political communities • Roe v. Wade |
|---|
| Featured article April 29 & 30, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by Heidi Crowter |
CISPA | Succeeded by Gingerslap |