Hawk Tuah

WARNING: With Jews, you lose!

	ALERT: THIS IS A FORCED MEME
	Hawk Tuah will be posted by the same unfunny newfag until you like it.

Hailey Welch aka "Hawk Tuah"

Hawk Tuah is an extremely unfunny meme circulating about the interwebs as of 2024 in which a really ditzy and intoxicated hotard kike (Powerword: Hailey Welch^✡) participates in a street interview in Nashville, Tennessee. Another fine example of a dumbass becoming famous just for being a dumbass (although she might actually be more intelligent than President Joe Biden). You can see that she clearly sucked every minute of fame she had from that meme by literally creating a fucking LLC and selling all junk related to the meme, going on and creating podcasts and shit like that, so you can see that she made a great cash grab out of it like the Jew she is.

At some point, this bitch tried suing the interviewers that made her famous but proclaimed it was fake news when the internet started hating on her for it.

Despite conspiracy theories, this was not a scripted propaganda piece produced by the Church of Latter Day Saints, A Beka Book (an independent baptist publisher), Mothers Against Drunk Driving, or North Korea, although any of the above could easily take advantage of it to advance their ideologies.

Money Making Schemes

After blowing up on social media, it became clear that Hailey was only on her first minute of her subsequent 15 minutes of fame. But like every other white woman in the spotlight, Hailey wasn't going to let an opportunity to use her mouth go to waste, and made sure she could milk the remaining 14 minutes and make it about herself.

"Talk Tuah" Podcast

"There's no business like blow business"

Under the impression that people wanted to hear other things out of Hailey's mouth besides "gog gog gog gog", Hailey worked with verified geriatric abuser Jake Paul to start a podcast called "Talk Tuah" (it's a pun, geddit???). On the show Hailey would cover such HARD HITTING topics like "I Told Granny About Hawk Tuah" and "I Turned Down OnlyFans".

In order to stay in the spotlight, seeing as no one gives a shit about what some white chick who made a fellatio joke once has to say, Hailey and her crew spread obvious fake news screenshots like Donald Trump had cancelled an appearance on Talk Tuah after his assassination attempt, or that 75,000 voters wrote in "Hawk Tuah" during the 2024 Presidential Election. Because if people are not talking about Hailey all the time, what's the point of having 15 minutes of fame? In fact, whenever Hailey's not on screen, all the other characters should be asking, "Where's Hailey?"

• 
  100% real news gaiz
• 
  plz keep talking about me

Alas, that did little to change Hailey's viewership numbers. So after her lucky thirteenth episode, Hailey and her team decided it was the right time to execute Order 69...

"$HAWK" Meme Coin Rug Pull

	“	Inspired by this unapologetic, sexy, and viral moment, we bring you the "Hawk Tuuuah". This token is not just about cryptocurrency; it's about capturing the essence of raw, unfiltered internet culture and bringing together a community that thrives on humor, boldness, and a touch of the wild. It's a movement born from a viral sensation that exudes boldness and allure. This token based on Solana aims to capture the essence of internet culture, leveraging the power of memes to create value and excitement."	„
	—Hawk Tuah website; "it's a movement"? More like bowel movement, amirite??

I trust the longterm value and stability of this coin.

Separately during Hailey's podcasting duties, she would regularly post about her hot new meme coin, $HAWK, and how you—yes, YOU—could make a ton of cash by buying into the official altcoin of perfectly legitimate businesswoman Hailey Welch. She may even let you tongue her asshole if you buy enough!

I get all my financial advice from e-celebs; they have never grifted anyone before

So on December 5th, 2024, the $HAWK coin was officially launched, and everyone who bought in saw it skyrocket to amazing heights. At its highest it had market cap of $490 million! WE'RE ALL GOING TO THE MOON!! And by that I mean everyone is going to a place of magnificent desolation as Hailey and her crew rug pulled everyone and sold off hudreds of millions of dollars worth of the coin within hours, leaving everyone at a mere $41.7 million in valuation.

meme coins have legitimate value and utility

But surely this was an slight hiccup... Hailey and everyone working with her didn't just steal all of our money... right? Well, after mysteriously disappearing for over two weeks (for a perfectly legitimate reason, I'm sure), Hailey and everyone else came back to set the records straight. Basically:

• $HAWK was not meant to be a "cash grab."
• everyone involved in the rug pull—Hailey's "Tuah The Moon Foundation", Clinton So's "overHere Ltd" company, and influencer Alex Larson Schulz (aka "Doc Hollywood" aka Howie Mandel's son-in-law)—all say that they were innocent
• in fact, if you ask Hailey and So about it, it turns out that THEY were the innocent victims in all this and it was Doc Hollywood who was the real scammer! They TOTALLY didn't sell any of their coins!
• regardless of all that, it turned out that Hailey and her crew owned like 80-90% of the coin beforehand across multiple related wallets, thus controlling the coin's supply for any end benefitting the sellers

So yeah, clearly it wasn't them who stole your money, rather it was THEM who stole your money. But good luck getting it back! In fact, if you were stupid enough to spend money on her shitty meme coin, then you should tawk tuah lawyer about your options.

So Now What?

Looks like Hailey's on minute 13 of her 15 minutes of fame. A lawsuit for the rug pull has been filed against her and her two partners, of which Doc Hollywood has yet to resurface to respond to it.

Gallery

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See also

• Blowjob
• Unfunny
• TikTok
• Instagram
• Forced meme
• Slut
• Bitch

External links

• The interview on YouTube, where it all started
• Know Your Meme - Hawk Tuah Girl
• Wikipedia - Hawk Tuah Girl
• $HAWK meme coin — official website; press S to spit on that thang

Hawk Tuah is part of the following series:

• 
  Memes
• 
  Whores
• 
  Sex

[RecessionInflation]

£€ Hawk Tuah is a part of a series on Money $¥

Featured article December 30 & 31, 2024
Preceded by Good Korea	Hawk Tuah	Succeeded by 2024