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MylarBalloonFan
It may come as a surprise to some that anyone over the age of 8 would have an obsession with foil balloons; however, some people never outgrow such childish things. MylarBalloonFan A.K.A. Samuel “Sammy” Peterson is a fat, 22 year-old basement dweller who is obsessed with Mylar balloons, old technology, square objects, McDonalds, the 1990s, and Sailor Moon. He is also an autistic Dane who hates his own country for various stupid reasons. Sammy also is something of an Ameriboo and wants to move to the USA. However, due to Sammy spending his welfare money on other things, he won’t be touching American soil anytime soon.
Mylar Balloons
He has an intense love for Mylar Balloons. So much so, that he has Over 100 of them in his room. Due to Denmark not having very many places that sell Mylar Balloons, Sammy has to import them from the US. He spends at least 10 USD for one Mylar balloon and has spent over 400 USD on Mylar balloons. Yes, he spends 10 dollars to import a Mylar balloon that costs 7 dollars at Party City.
He expresses his love for Mylar balloons on Yahoo answers and Youtube. He comments regularly on videos of other Mylar balloon fans that videotape themselves and their balloons. He also posts negative comments to anyone that uploads videos of themselves popping his favorite type of balloons. In his own words; anyone who pops Mylar balloons is “killing his girlfriend.”
Yes, he has a sexual fetish for Mylar balloons. It’s not enough for him to own Mylar balloons; he also has sex with them and admits that Mylar balloons feels good against his dick on Yahoo answers without any shame.
As an avid Mylar balloon fan, he hates the dreaded latex balloons with a passion. He posts rant videos about how much he despises them and of him flipping off latex balloons at a store. He even popped latex balloons in a couple of videos.
|when I see a Rubber Balloon I becomes angry and want to shot the latex balloon but I am very happy when I see a Mylar Foil Balloon. to me Latex Balloons are fake and Mylar is real balloons.| }}
He Loves the 90s
Sammy has other obsessions besides Mylar balloons that he spends quite a bit of his welfare check on. He is also obsessed with schoolgirl animu, old technology, squared objects, Dr. Pepper, and McDonalds. What these obsessions all share in Sammy’s autistic mind is their relationship to his favorite decade, the 1990s. Being born in 1992, Sammy is very nostalgic over his childhood. Unable to adjust to modern technology, Sammy despises the modern world and everything about it.
He’s obsessed with Sailor Moon and similar type school girl anime that came out in the 90s. He has spent quite a bit of money on anime little girl toys, Sailor Moon Mylar balloons, and other various anime. He even wore Sailor Mars cosplay and schoolgirl outfits in public, letting every single Dane in Køge know how special he is. He once made a top ten kawaii-est anime girl list and every single girl listed was younger than 16, some were even as young as eight years old. When viewers pointed out their age and asked him if he was a pedophile, he raged at them.
His obsessions with ancient, pre-Web 1.0 technology include comfortable 1980s chairs, square electronics, and Vintage computers. He also posts rants on his hatred for Windows Vista/7/8 and does not give a clear answer on why he dislikes them other than that they are modern computer systems. It’s also no surprise that Sammy likes 90s fashion (or, lack-thereof) and extremely bright, noisy, and generally annoying clothing. In every single one of his videos, he blasts Gabber techno for those who are unfortunate to listen. He also wears god awesome 90s light-reflecting fashion So far, his highlighter look consists of a New Kids on the Block fanny pack, a woman’s soccer jacket, and a girly watch. His fashion choices are interesting, to say the least. He chooses to wear the same type of stuff that women and effeminate gays wore in the 90s before quickly ditching them when they realized how retarded they looked. However, this should be expected from the same guy who wore schoolgirl outfits in public.
He makes videos of himself obnoxiously burping on camera after drinking Dr.
Samuel is a hero who don't care what people think about him.
Samuel and trolls
Samuel always wins and the trolls gets they stolen videos taken down of youtube Samuel knows about Copyright law and has a hight IQ.
Samuel makes interesting videos about true vintage stuff and has a fanbase.
Pictures
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Sammy's looking a little pregnant there... -
Sammy cosplaying as a Danish grandma. -
Sammy picking up his daily rape victims. -
Sammy spending quality time with his balloons -
The resemblance is uncanny!
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Is it normal to get a boner from a balloon?' -
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Sammy's rape-mobile. -
Plastic crap and a shitty old computer? It's definitely Sammy's battle station. -
Complaining about people calling his glasses "rapist glasses." -
So many posts about his assburgers syndrome. -
Sammy's arch-nemesis, skateboarders. -
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HARDCORE TO THE BONE
See also
- Denmark
- Chris Chan
- Onigojirakaiju - Has an unhealthy fetish for reptiles.
- Balloon Fetish
- Sailor Moon
- Autism
- Fat
- YouTube
- ZippCast
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MylarBalloonFan is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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| Featured article May 11 & 12, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by Skullgirls |
MylarBalloonFan | Succeeded by Pirate |