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MylarBalloonFan/Danish
Det kan måske komme som en overraskelse for nogen at andre over 8 år kunne have en besættelse af folie balloner; ikke destro mindre, vokser nogle folk aldrig ud af disse børneting. MylarBalloonFan også kendt som Samuel “Sammy” Petersen eller Samuel Breum er en tyk, 22 årig (født 12 august 1991) kælderbeboer, som er besat af Mylar balloner, gammel teknologi, firkantede objekter, McDonalds, 90'erne, og Sailor Moon. Han er også en autistisk dansker som hader sit eget land af forskellige idiotiske grunde. Sammy er også noget af en Ameriboo og vil gerne flytte til USA. Men grundet at Sammy bruger al sin kontanthjælp på andre ting, så kommer han ikke til at røre amerikansk jord indenfor nærmeste fremtid. Og til ingens overraskelse er han også et fedt svin, og vejer 87 kilo, til trods for at han kun er 170 cm høj.
Mylar balloner
Sammy har en intens kærlighed for Mylar balloner. Så meget at han har over 200 i sit værelse. Men fordi Køge ikke har særlig mange steder der sælger det lort, så skal Sammy importere dem fra USA eller Jylland. Han bruger i gennemsnit 1000 kr. på Mylar balloner og har brugt over 30000 kr. på Mylar balloner. Ja, han bruger over 1000 kr på at importere en lorte ballon der koster en halvtredser i USA.
Han udtrykker hans kærlighed for Mylar balloner på Yahoo Answers og YouTube. Han kommenterer ofte på videoer fra andre Mylar Ballon spassere som har optaget dem selv og deres balloner. Han skriver også negative kommentarer til folk som uploader videoer af dem selv der sprænger hans yndlingsballoner. I hans egne ord; dem der sprænger Mylar balloner "dræber hans kæreste".
Ja, Sammy har en seksuel fetish omkring Mylar balloner. Det er ikke nok for Sammy at eje Mylar balloner; han har også sex med dem og indrømmet på Yahoo Answer at de føles godt mod hans minipik. Helt uden skam i livet. Han optog også sig selv savle over en havfrue ballon. Du kan se videoen her.
Som en trofast Mylar ballon fan hader han de frygtindgydende latex balloner med en hidtil uset lidenskab. Han skriver lange brokvideoer om hvor meget han afskyr dem og hvor han viser ballonerne den længste finger i Bilka. Han mandede sig tilmed op og sprang nogle latex balloner i et par videoer
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He Loves the 90s
Sammy has other obsessions besides Mylar balloons that he spends quite a bit of his welfare check on. He is also obsessed with schoolgirl animu, old technology, squared objects, Dr. Pepper, and McDonalds. What these obsessions all share in Sammy’s autistic mind is their relationship to his favorite decade, the 1990s. Being born in 1992, Sammy is very nostalgic over his childhood. Unable to adjust to modern technology, Sammy despises the modern world and everything about it.
He’s obsessed with Sailor Moon and similar type school girl anime that came out in the 90s. He has spent quite a bit of money on animu little girl toys, Sailor Moon Mylar balloons, and other various animu crap. He even wore Sailor Mars cosplay and schoolgirl outfits in public, letting every single Dane in Køge know how special he is. He once made a top ten kawaii-est anime girl list and every single girl listed was younger than 16, some were even as young as eight years old. When viewers pointed out their age and asked him if he was a pedophile, Sammy raged at them.
His obsessions with ancient, pre-Web 1.0 technology include uncomfortable 1970s chairs, square energy-consuming electronics, and ancient computers. He also posts rants on his hatred for Windows Vista/7/8 and does not give a clear answer on why he dislikes them other than that they are modern computer systems. It’s also no surprise that Sammy likes 90s fashion (or, lack-thereof) and extremely bright, noisy, and generally annoying clothing. In every single one of his videos, he blasts Gabber techno for those who are unfortunate to listen. He also wears god awful 90s light-reflecting fashion that makes someone look like they lost a fight with a tub of highlighters. So far, his highlighter look consists of a New Kids on the Block fanny pack, a woman’s soccer jacket, and a girly watch. His fashion choices are interesting, to say the least. He chooses to wear the same type of stuff that women and effeminate gays wore in the 90s before quickly ditching them when they realized how retarded they looked. However, this should be expected from the same guy who wore schoolgirl outfits in public.
It can be assumed that he eats McDonalds on a weekly basis from the song his posted, the video of himself exiting out of one, and even his own comments about the franchise. He makes videos of himself obnoxiously burping on camera after drinking Dr. Pepper.
Herfølge Skole
The autist also has an obsession with Herfølge Skole (Herfølge School), so much that he comments on every fucking thing on their Facebook page. In the Facebook group he proudly announces his hatred of anything new.
Other Person: Even better library opening, now with school library.
Sammy: The old library was better more cosy this is way too modern and bright.
Another Person: I disagree. We have a wonderful library....
Sammy: Bright and modern is boring.
Another Person: I think our library brims with life and engagement - and I like brightness and air.
Sammy: Bright and modern makes me depressed.
He loves Herfølge school so much he even got one of their tables that he could use as a desk.
He uses it as his current computer desk
Videos
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Sammy and trolls
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Sammy is very touchy when it comes to criticism and argues with trolls and people on and off youtube. Being discovered by 789chan users, Sammy quickly found his way to the site and raged at the users. So much so that he flagged down mirrors of his videos, sent trolls butthurt messages on Youtube, and made a couple of videos on Daily Motion.
He even, at one point, attempted to team up with Robert Wayne Stiles to get trolls arrested by the FBI. However, he quickly ditched Robb, because sending trolls to jail was taking time away from fucking his Mylar balloons. Isn't that awesome?
He also gets very irritated when trolls compared him to Chris Chan. Like Chris, he also wears out-of-date pedo glasses, likes Sailor Moon, eats at McDonalds almost religiously, is obsessed with toys, and even looks kind of like Chris. He even got referred to as "Danish Chris" by trolls before they found out his name. The main reason why he gets so butthurt when people compare him to Chris-chan is because Chris likes Pokemon and My Little Pony and that Chris is "too mainstream". Another thing that is true when comparing him to Chris-chan is that Sammy does not understand copyright law.
Another thing Sammy gets upset over is when people dislike his videos, whether they be trolls and/or people who didn't find his videos very entertaining. He also seems to believe that the same person disliked all of his videos rather than a few people finding them to be boring.
Like so many people before him, when he had found his ED article, he wanted to take the information down NOW NOW NOW!!!1 So he used the ED account that he already had and practically blanked the article. Needless to say, his edits were quickly reverted and he was banned.
Later he made a second account and a second attempt with the same results. He also made yet another attempt some time later, trying to turn his ED article into a vanity article, but was discovered and banned yet again.
Quotes
—In response to an opinion on YouTube about soda[1] | ||
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Pictures
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Sammy's looking a little pregnant there... -
Sammy cosplaying as a Danish grandma. -
Sammy picking up his daily rape victims. -
Sammy spending quality time with his balloons -
The resemblance is uncanny!
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Is it normal to get a boner from a balloon?' -
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Sammy's rape-mobile. -
Plastic crap and a shitty old computer? It's definitely Sammy's battle station. -
Complaining about people calling his glasses "rapist glasses." -
So many posts about his assburgers syndrome. -
Sammy's arch-nemesis, skateboarders. -
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Websites
His Google Plus
His Facebook- Where to find his inane scribblings about his former school
MylarBalloonFan (FUCK GOOGLETUBE)- His own personal site
DoReMiForever Old account- 1Suppi Old account
- ILoveSailorMoon1000 DELETED
- MylarBalloonLover1 Current youtube account
mylarballoonfan
MylarBalloonFan- OKCupid profile
- Dailymotion profile
- Wrongplanet profile
- Photobucket account
- Yahoo answers account
- A video of teenage Sammy and his buttbuddy
- A video of Sammy complaining about a train
- Sammy complaining about going green
DOX
Sam himself
Samuel Petersen/Samuel Breum
facebook:
Sam Pettersen - Another of his many names
Samuel Breum - Likes to go under this name
Samuel Breum - Another account with the same name
Mother:
Liselotte Larsen.
Kirkestræde 47
4600 Køge
Phone:
+45 20 84 22 31
Facebook:
Hi mom
Real life friends
- Jacob Noize Olsen - Possibly not an autist
- Leon Jeppeson (Jeppesen) - Autist
- Mette Jensen - Nothing more than a friend, honest
Alexander Wedø - Autist With a hard-on for elevators
See also
|
MylarBalloonFan/Danish is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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| Featured article May 11 & 12, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by Skullgirls |
MylarBalloonFan/Danish | Succeeded by Pirate |