MylarBalloonFan

Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.

-

- EDiots have translated this article
into the following obscure languages:

-

Danish

-

It may come as a surprise to some that anyone over the age of 8 would have an obsession with foil balloons; however, some people never outgrow such childish things. MylarBalloonFan A.K.A. Samuel “Sammy” Petersen or Sam Asp Glassen is a fat, 22 year-old basement dweller born 12th of August 1991. who is obsessed with Mylar balloons, old technology, square objects, McDonalds, the 1990s, and Sailor Moon. He is also an autistic Dane who hates his own country for various stupid reasons. Sammy also is something of an Ameriboo and wants to move to the USA. However, due to Sammy spending his welfare money on other things, he won’t be touching American soil anytime soon. Also to no surprise he is a fat fuck. Clocking in at only 170 centimeters tall, he weighs a staggering 87 kilos. (5'7" and 191 pounds for imperialists)

Mylar Balloons

Samuel has an intense love for Mylar Balloons. So much so, that he has over 200 of them in his room. Due to Køge not having very many places that sell Mylar Balloons, Samuel has to import them from the US. He spends at least 8 USD for one Mylar balloon and has spent over 200 USD on Mylar balloons. Yes, he spends 8 dollars to import a balloon that costs 7 dollars at Party City.

He expresses his love for Mylar balloons on Yahoo answers and Youtube. He comments regularly on videos of other Mylar balloon spergs that videotape themselves and their balloons. He also posts negative comments to anyone that uploads videos of themselves popping his favorite type of balloons. In his own words; anyone who pops Mylar balloons is “killing his girlfriend.”

Yes, Samuel has a sexual fetish for Mylar balloons. It’s not enough for Samuel to own Mylar balloons; he also has sex with them and admits that Mylar balloons feels good against his microdick on Yahoo answers without any shame. He even videotaped himself kissing all over a Mermaid balloon. You can watch the video here.

As an avid Mylar balloon fan, he hates the dreaded latex balloons with a passion. He posts long rant videos about how much he despises them and of him flipping off latex balloons at a store. He even popped latex balloons in a couple of videos.

	“	MYLAR MAKES MY PENIS WET WITH JOY IF YOU HATE MYLAR YOU SHOULD BE KILLED MYLAR BALLOONS IS SEXIER THAN DIRTY HIPPYS AND HUMANS	„

	“	when I see a Rubber Balloon I becomes angry and want to shot the latex balloon but I am very happy when I see a Mylar Foil Balloon. to me Latex Balloons are fake and Mylar is real balloons.	„

Previous Quote | Next Quote

He Loves the 90s

Sammy has other obsessions besides Mylar balloons that he spends quite a bit of his money on. He is also obsessed with Bratz, old technology, squared objects, Dr. Pepper. What these obsessions all share in Samuel’s autistic mind is their relationship to his favorite decade, the 1990s. Being born in 1991, Sammy is very nostalgic over his childhood. Unable to adjust to modern technology, Sammy despises the modern world and everything about it.

He’s obsessed with Bratz, He has spent quite a bit of money on Bratz Girls toys,Bratz Mylar balloons, and other various animu crap. His obsessions with ancient, pre-Web 1.0 technology include comfortable 1980s chairs, square electronics, and ancient computers. He also posts rants on his hatred for Windows Vista/7/8 and does not give a clear answer on why he dislikes them other than that they are modern computer systems. It’s also no surprise that Sammy likes 90s fashion (or, lack-thereof) and extremely bright, cool, and generally awesome clothing. In every single one of his videos, he blasts Gabber techno for those who are unfortunate to listen. He also wears god awesome 90s light-reflecting fashion.

It can be assumed that he don't eat at McDonalds anymore. He makes videos of himself obnoxiously burping on camera after drinking Dr. Pepper.

Herfølge Skole

The autist also has an obsession with Herfølge Skole (Herfølge School), so much that he comments on every fucking thing on their Facebook page. In the Facebook group he proudly announces his hatred of anything new.

Other Person: Even better library opening, now with school library.
Sammy: The old library was better more cosy this is way too modern and bright.
Another Person: I disagree. We have a wonderful library....
Sammy: Bright and modern is boring.
Another Person: I think our library brims with life and engagement - and I like brightness and air.
Sammy: Bright and modern makes me depressed.

He loves Herfølge school so much he even got one of their tables that he could use as a desk.

He uses it as his current computer desk

Where he proudly places his computer from 2003

Videos

Are you horny yet?

What he thinks about Latex Balloons

What he thinks about Ovals

Proud owner of a neon fannypack

One of many burp videos

Dr. Pecker: Approved!

$105 wasted on a worthless keyboard

Proudly displaying his cheap plastic crap

Previous Video | Next Video

Sammy and trolls

Sammy's response to this article.

Another response to this article, using South Park

Previous Video | Next Video

	“	<stopthe60s> 888chan and ED are illegal	„

Getting mad at 789chan and people who compare him to Chris Chan

Sammy is very touchy when it comes to criticism and argues with trolls and people on and off youtube. Being discovered by 789chan users, Sammy quickly found his way to the site and raged at the users. So much so that he flagged down mirrors of his videos, sent trolls butthurt messages on Youtube, and made a couple of videos on Daily Motion.

He even, at one point, attempted to team up with Robert Wayne Stiles to get trolls arrested by the FBI. However, he quickly ditched Robb, because sending trolls to jail was taking time away from fucking his Mylar balloons. Isn't that awesome?

He also gets very irritated when trolls compared him to Chris Chan. Like Chris, he also wears out-of-date pedo glasses, likes Sailor Moon, eats at McDonalds almost religiously, is obsessed with toys, and even looks kind of like Chris. He even got referred to as "Danish Chris" by trolls before they found out his name. The main reason why he gets so butthurt when people compare him to Chris-chan is because Chris likes Pokemon and My Little Pony and that Chris is "too mainstream". Another thing that is true when comparing him to Chris-chan is that Sammy does not understand copyright law.

Another thing Sammy gets upset over is when people dislike his videos, whether they be trolls and/or people who didn't find his videos very entertaining. He also seems to believe that the same person disliked all of his videos rather than a few people finding them to be boring.

Like so many people before him, when he had found his ED article, he wanted to take the information down NOW NOW NOW!!!1 So he used the ED account that he already had and practically blanked the article. Needless to say, his edits were quickly reverted and he was banned.

Later he made a second account and a second attempt with the same results. He also made yet another attempt some time later, trying to turn his ED article into a vanity article, but was discovered and banned yet again.