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Robert Benjamin Smith
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Robert Benjamin Smith is yet another mediocre mass stabbing article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't AlGore. |
It was a breezy November 12, 1966 evening. At some retarded beauty college, some whores and their children were learning how to cut pubic hair or whatever the fuck it is they do there. Unbeknownst to them, what would be a regular day would be cut short by a psycho twink and hero of our story named Robert Benjamin Smith卐 (not to be confused with the guy from that gay goth band). The pissed off 18 year old had heard of Richard Speck and Charles Whitman's lulzy escapades, and he was determined to break the latter's high score. So, who was this faggot?
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|---|---|
| Robert Benjamin Smith | |
| Born | February 10, 1948 |
| Died | April 21, 2024 (aged 76) |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| Highscore | Killed 5, injured 2 |
| Top 50? | No |
| Style | FPS, Hack 'n Slash, Single player |
| An Hero? | No, pussied out and surrendered. |
| Motive | For the lulz |
Before Rose-Mar
To put it simply, Benny-boy was a dorky loser. While he was a big smart nerd, he had to repeat grades and didn't know how to tie his own shoes or ride a bicycle. He was a frail little ytboi who wasn't in shape, being described as "weak, slow, and clumsy," and his classmates got on his ass for it. His dad was also in the air force and his family moved around a lot. As a wee boy, his heroes were John F. Kennedy, Napoleon, and Caesar. After Kennedy's epic 360 noscope by LHO, this affected the little cracker so badly that he instead decided to pick better role models, like Hitler, John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, and Jesse James, and got more into true crime and mass murderers just like you. His grades improved in high school, but he was still a gay little incel socially. At least he got elected to school council. Like every normal teenager he also had fantasies about murdering women, which he would later enact during his epix CS:GO match.
Rambo @ Rose-Mar
After Speck and Whitman's trollfests, Smith decided he better try to take the high score from William Unek and do his own retarded mass shooting. He first thought of shooting up his high school and killing the teachers, but decided against it because idklol. He also considered robbing a bank but discarded the idea for the same reasons. He then decided on a beauty salon that doubled as a cosmetology school.
Loadout
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| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
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He waltzed into the place and was like "hey what's up hello." The FUCKING FOID HOLE WHORES didn't respond, so he shot his pistol in the air to get their attention. He ordered them to go into the back room. Excited that he was going to rape them, they complied, but they were disappointed as he told them to lie in a circle. One of them was praying, and she asked if he minded. Hating religion like der fuhrer, he politely said yes and shot her in the back of the head. She didn't die so he had to shoot her three more times, being a shitty shot. He then killed the other foids, one of whom was three fucking years old! He killed five women and a toddler- and when one of them started squirming and yelling after she was shot, he stabbed her with his knife. Only two people survived, a baby and a girl playing dead. The pigs later came for his ass, and while dissatisfied with his low score, complied with them. He calmly told them "I shot some people, they're in there." When they asked him why he did it, he said he wanted to make a name for himself, by "killing about 40 people", and also asked them to subscribe to PewDiePie. When asked "hey why the fuck would you shoot a baby", he simply said "Well, it was going to be an adult." When also asked how he would've felt if his mommy and sister were there, he said he would've shot them too. Actually, he planned on killing his daddy with a knife once, but pussied out.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 5/20 Including a fucking toddler! |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 18/20 At least his aim wasn't too shitty |
| Style: | 15/20 The first copycat shooting, and the knife killz were interesting |
| Butthurt: | 10/20 School shootings still unheard of, but people cared about Speck and Whitman more. |
| Bonus: | 15/20 Basically got away with it with that schizo diagnosis |
Ernest Robbie Goes To Jail
After being v&, Benny attempted to avoid jail and getting his sissy whiteboipussy raped by Bubba in there and attempted to try an insanity plea. This actually worked, as he told his psychiatrist that he wanted to feel all-powerful and Godlike by killing people, which was true, but this was pretty strange for 1966, so they thought he was a schizo.
He was sentenced to death in 1967, but was granted a new trial by another judge who deemed some of the testimony from the original trial unreliable. He instead was to two 99-year long server b&s along with four life sentences for his failed high score attempt. During his first year in prison he had a chimpout and was disciplined for assaulting someone. ANYFUCKINGWAY, he worked labor jobs on and off while incarcerated to some hospital in Goodyear before dying of oldfag in 2024.
Gallery
See also
- Charles Whitman
- Richard Speck
- Robert Hawkins - Another Robbie
- Marc Lepine - Fellow incel who hated feminazis
- Eric Harris - His less shitty counterpart. They almost died on the same day!
| Robert Benjamin Smith is part of a series on Dying Alone
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