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Your Mom

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Warning!
Your moma is a dirty whore and has multiple STDs.
Hmmm... Und vhy are you here, hmmm?
Truth
Oh, lovely
Yet another picture of your mom, this one featuring her huge gaping vagina that's totally photoshopped.
Who you wish was your mom giving me a striptease
Your first picture. Happy birthday!
Piss off Sean Connery, and he'll reveal the truth about your mother.
Your mom is an internet porn star.
If you are a nerd, this is what you wish your mom looked like.
Darsheel has had your mom.
In Soviet Russia, Mother fucks YOU
Dorian Thorn shares everything with his mom

Your Mom Is Hot

   
“ 		 
Your mom is like a bandit that has captured my heart...and my penis
  		„
  		 

—-The Milkman

Your mom is so fat that she crushed this article down to here just by existing.

Your mom (AKA yo mama, tu madre, ta mère, deine Mutti, anan, tvoja keva, su ema etc.) is a two word phrase often used as a generic insult. This unfunny phrase appears on almost every Uncyclopedia page (Maybe you were looking for your mom?) and has found its way onto most lists of people on ED. According to the unfunny motherfuckers with Odeipus complexes who feel the need to spam this, "Your Mom" is a Nazi, a Jew, a homosexual male, and a member of every fucking nationality. It is also the standard comeback for every 13 year old boy. "Your Mom" is also a very popular internet meme almost known by every online freak out there. It is used to try and insult someone or make them furious, but fails epicly due to "Your Mom" being overused and worn out (just like your mom). Most people who say "Your Mom" get harassed or made fun of for using such an old come back. It usually used by people who have no comebacks or who want to think they're 'cool'.

Before its overuse, your mom was a quality response to any generic question:

Uncle Bob: Hey bro.
Jimbro: Yo.
Uncle Bob: What are you doing?
Jimbro: Your mom.
or
Uncle Bob: What's up?
Jimbro: My dick is up... in your mom.

Popular on insub.

Jackolantern: Hey man.
Sean Combs: I hope yo' momma dies!
Jackolantern: She did die... because you gave her HIV!

On the Internets

Things I Did Last Night <---find your mom here.

Your mom is widely used as the end-all-be-all of arguments on the Internets. Those victimized by it automatically lose whatever argument they were engaged in at the time, because they can't think of a more lulz-worthy comment. This is called the Law of Your Mom, formally expressed as "Post hoc ergo mater tua".

Arguing or failing to accept the Law of Your Mom will result in your dick being shoved into a malfunctioning blender. This is called the "Arguing 'your mom' will get your dick shoved into a malfunctioning blender clause", which was instated at least 100 years ago. This often leads to the unwitting destruction of the perpetrator of your mom, as it is a very dangerous weapon indeed. Its power is so great, none can contain it. Sarcasm aside, "your mom" is an unfunny and unoriginal insult mainly used by 13 year old hentai fanboys who are being bullied by more lulz-worthy beings.

History

The phrase 'Your mom' originally started out as 'Yo mama' and was used solely by the Nigger / African /swamp ninja/African American community. The 'mama' referred to by the niggers is overweight to the extreme and cursed with a crippling ugliness and an addiction to crack- sprinkled Crisco, as opposed to the 'mom' that is referred to these days, who is a MILF, slutty, and very, very easy.

'Yo mama' started out as a witty comeback to use when someone called you a motherfucker. Secundus thereby makes the claim that Primus' mother is a whore.

What is a mom?

A mother, aka mom, aka mommy, aka mama in the South, aka mum in Bongistan and Boomerangtown, aka a fatherfucker, is a female who takes hot loads up her cunt, also known as a creampie; and after getting fat she poops out a babby. Idiots may believe that she simply takes piss up her cunt, but that costs extra. How to become a mom is so easy that women can do it in their sleep. Top experts agree, hot jizz is the leading cause of baby fat, in babbies and in moms. A mom is a woman who loves dick so much that a person ends up dying as a result of her taking hot sticky loads up her cavernous, squishy cunt. Do you love dick so much that someone dies because of it? #MeToo, according to AIDS infested faggots, and women murdered for cheating.

What is Your Mom?

Your Mom is who I had sex with last night.

Your mom, according to psychiatric experts everywhere, is the most sexually active person on the planet. The chief defining characteristics of your mom include:

  1. hot
  2. promiscuous
  3. a concerned mother
  4. obsessive over cock
  5. obsessive over MY cock
  6. actually your sister
  7. obsessive over my, my best friend's, and my best friend's dog's cock
  8. obsessive over horse cock, and my best friend's horse cock
  9. fat
  10. ugly
  11. gay
  12. a fat ugly hooker
  13. a fat ugly cock sucking hooker
  14. a fat ugly cock sucking donkey fucking hooker
  15. Ignores you because of cock
  16. hirsute
  17. has a bad case of herpes
  18. a hermaphrodite
  19. a person that Electric Six has noods of
  20. produces Anti-lulz and should be killed
  21. pwned by me
  22. tied to a bed having sex with Badgers
  23. A Christian rock group
  24. A possible alternative fuel source
  25. Has Super AIDS
  26. Your face
  27. Is my dad
  28. Is in my "top 8".
  29. Uses the Internet as your babysitter.
  30. Your mom
  31. Paid me a dollar to suck her tits
  32. a dyke
  33. Bill Clinton's side chick

What your mom is:

  1. A vanity press.
  2. Not a truck, but a series of tubes.

Gallery

Gallery of Mums About missing Pics
  • You WISH your mom looked like this
    You WISH your mom looked like this
  • The food looks delicious!
    The food looks delicious!
  • Paul's mom, stolen from her laptop. TITS!. Your mom in one of your photos that no one sees
    Paul's mom, stolen from her laptop. TITS!. Your mom in one of your photos that no one sees
  • Your mom in the shower.
    Your mom in the shower.
  • Your mom washing her filthy, filthy buttocks.
    Your mom washing her filthy, filthy buttocks.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

YouTube

Previous Video | Next Video

Jokes

An image from your conception: your dad dominated her hard


[-+]Fat

  • Your mom is so fat, when she went on her mount in World of Warcraft, the mount's speed went down to 75%!
  • Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has her own field of gravity.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot.
  • Your mom is so fat, she cannot fit into a subway train.
  • Your mom is so fat, she cannot fit into a bus.
  • Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
  • Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
  • Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
  • Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
  • Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
  • Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
  • Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
  • Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
  • Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
  • Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
  • Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
  • Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
  • Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona…
  • Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
  • Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
  • Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
  • Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
  • Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
  • Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off.
  • Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
  • Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
  • Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
  • Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
  • Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
  • Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
  • Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
  • Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
  • Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
  • Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
  • Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl.
  • Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
  • Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
  • Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
  • Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
  • Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
  • Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
  • Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up.
  • Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down.
  • Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
  • Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
  • Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
  • Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
  • Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
  • Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
  • Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
  • Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
  • Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
  • Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
  • Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
  • Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
  • Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide.
  • Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
  • Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
  • Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
  • Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
  • Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
  • Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
  • Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
  • Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
  • Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3.
  • Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
  • Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
  • Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
  • Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
  • Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
  • Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
  • Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
  • Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
  • Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
  • Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
  • Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
  • Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
  • Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
  • Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.
  • Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!"
  • Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
  • Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
  • Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend.
  • Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
  • Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
  • Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins.
  • Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
  • Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale.
  • Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
  • Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live.
  • Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass.
  • Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button.
  • Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light.
  • Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets.
  • Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out.
  • Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to.
  • Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle.
  • Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she showers, her feet dont get wet
  • Your mom is so fat, she broke a branch on her family tree
  • Your mom is so fat, in order to have sex wit her you have to roll her on flour and find the wet spot.
  • Your mom is so fat, when she walks down the street, people mistake her fat clapping for thunder.
  • Your mom is so fat, she sat down one time and crushed Detroit.
  • Your mom is so fat, the last time she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.
  • Your mom is so fat, that she has her own diabetic pole at the Strip Club which she works.
  • Your mom is so fat, I had sex with her just to be able to say that I did.


[-+]Oldness

  • Your mom is so old that I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
  • Your mom is so old that she farts dust.
  • Your mom is so old that the milk in her tits is expired.
  • Your mom is so old that Moses is in her yearbook.
  • Your mom is so old that she owes Jesus a quarter.
  • Your mom is so old that she only has two teeth and they're both in her pocket!
  • Your mom is so old that she has an autographed version of the Bible.
  • Your mom is so old that when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
  • Your mom is so old that she reminisces when she reads the Bible.
  • Your mom is so old that she went to the Virgin Mary's baby shower.
  • Your mom is so old that she knew Burger King when he was a Prince.
  • Your mom is so old that when God said "let there be light", she was there to flip the switch.
  • Your mom is so old that her Bible is signed by Jesus.
  • Your mom is so old that her breast milk is powder.


[-+]Ugliness

  • Your mom is so ugly SHE LOOKS LIKE YOU.
  • Your mom is so ugly that she tried to enter an ugly contest and they said "Sorry, no professionals."
  • Your mom is so ugly that she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
  • Your mom is so ugly that her teeth are brown and she spits Yoo-hoo.
  • Your mom is so ugly that when she's on the beach the tide won't come in!
  • Your mom is so ugly that I went to your house, kicked in the door and your mom came out barking.
  • Your mom is so ugly that when she got arrested they took her to the SPCA.
  • Your mom is so ugly that she popped her head out the window and got arrested for indecent exposure.
  • Your mom is so ugly that she makes blind kids cry.
  • Your mom is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
  • Your mom is so ugly that when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "Rape" and they yelled "NO!"
  • Your mom is so ugly that they filmed 'Gorillas in the mist' in her shower.
  • Your mom is so ugly that when you went to a fancy restaraunt, she had to sit outside.
  • Your mom is so ugly, she can't compete to your sister
  • Your mom is so ugly, she needs TWO paper bags to cover her face
  • Your mom is so ugly, she can't turn on a computer


[-+]Hairiness

  • Your mom is so hairy, that when you were born you got rug burn.
  • Your mom is so hairy, they took her to the museum and put her on display as the woolly mammoth.
  • Your mom is so hairy, she went to a Star Wars convention and the nerds kept asking her for Chewy's autograph.
  • Your mom is so hairy, when she shaved her ass, she lost ten pounds!
  • Your mom is so hairy, her nipples have afros.
  • Your mom is so hairy, before Halloween, everyone thought she was Cousin Itt.
  • Your mom is so hairy, she makes the wolf man look like a puppy.
  • Your mom is so hairy, she has to brush her armpit hair.
  • Your mom is so hairy, she tucks her pubes in her socks.
  • Your mom is so hairy, it took them three years just to shave off enough hair to see her face.


[-+]Poor

  • Your mom is so poor that I rang your doorbell and she shouted "DING-DONG!"
  • Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.
  • Your mom is so poor that at her funeral, she had to give up her casket in order to pay.
  • Your mom is so poor that when she wants a gumball she has to put it on layaway.
  • Your mom is so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk
  • Your mom is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving".
  • Your mom is so poor when she heard about the Last Supper, she thought she was running out of food stamps.
  • Your mom is so poor she walks down the highway with only one shoe. And when people ask her "have you lost a shoe?" she says "no, I found one."


[-+]Comparisons

  • Your mom is like a 747, she has a four man cockpit.
  • Your mom is like a brick, she's dirty, flat on both sides and always get laid by mexicans.
  • Your mom is like a 2 by 4, flat, smooth, and easy to nail.
  • Your mom is like a fire hydrant, on every corner.
  • Your mom is like a shotgun, two cocks: and she's ready to blow.
  • Your mom is like a screwdriver, everyone gets a turn.
  • Your mom is like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn.
  • Your mom is like a lamp, everyone gets a turn.
  • Your mom is like a bowling ball, she gets fingered and fucked down an alley 20 times a night, for 5 dollars an hour
  • Your mom is like a bowling ball, She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, and you know what? She just keeps coming back for more.
  • Your mom is like a gas station, pump first then pay.
  • Your mom is like Burger King, "Your way right away."
  • Your mom is like Timex, "Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’"
  • Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of indians.
  • Your mom is like McDonald's, "Serving Millions."
  • Your mom is like Domino's, "Hot, Wild, Now."
  • Your mom is like Home Depot, 50 cents a screw
  • Your mom is like a refrigerator, every guy loves to stick their meat in her
  • Your mom is like Pizza Hut, if it's not there in 30 Minutes, it's free
  • Your mom is like a rail road, laid all over the country.
  • Your mom is like an SUV, big, black, and full of Mexicans.
  • Your Mom is like a Nascar Driver, she burns 50 rubbers a day
  • Your mom is like a door; I banged her all night.
  • Your mom is like a police station, dicks go in and out of her day and night.
  • Your mom is like good paint, cheap and easy to spread.
  • Your mom is like Chinese food, every one gets a chance to eat her out.
  • Your mom is like a toilet, fat, white and smells like shit.
  • Your mom is like a bike, everyone can ride.
  • Your mom is like a fast food restaurant, in n' out, fast and easy.
  • Your mom is like a seniors bus, older guys get on and off her all day.
  • Your mom is like a library open to the public.
  • Your mom is like a christmas tree, people always hang balls on her.
  • Your mom is like Marxism, everyone gets a share.
  • Your mom is like a towel, I use her, get her wet, and leave her on the floor feeling dirty and used.


[-+]Inexpensive prostitution

  • Your mom is like a hardware store, 5 cents a bolt, 10 cents a screw.
  • Your mom is like the Eagles Theater, 75 cents on Thursdays.
  • Your mom is like Taco Bell, "79, 89, 99" cents.
  • Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of Indians, open 24 hours a day, and will give me a Slurpee for a dollar.
  • Your mom is like a park, people pay to put erections on her.
  • Your mom is like a hotdog vendor, trades money for weiners.
  • Your mom is like a clown's outfit, baggy and has giant holes.
  • Your mom is like a men's locker room, guys come in, put their shit in various holes and walk out.
  • Your mom is like a roast oven, people like to stick their meat in her.
  • Your mom is like a subway ride, where 30 cents is enough for have sex for 3 hours with her.
  • Your mom is like a butcher's refrigerator, people like to stick their meat in her.


[-+]Gothiness

  • Your mom is so goth that she makes Happy Meals cry.
  • Your mom is so goth that when she had a sore throat, everyone thought she was a mime.
  • Your mom is so goth that she shits bats.
  • Your mom is so goth that when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the moon.
  • Your mom is so goth that she sleeps in a coffin.
  • Your mom is so goth that the only game she plays is Vampire.
  • Your mom is so goth that when she went through a hip hop phase she became Wesley Snipes.
  • Your mom is so goth she doesn't even talk
  • Your mom is so goth she makes niggers look like they got dipped in Grammy's ol' tyme cum batter.
  • Your mom is so goth she makes Dracula look like a fucking princess.
  • Your mom is so goth that Van Helsing thought she was a vampire and shot her.
  • Your mom is so goth she painted her eyelids so black, now she's blind.
  • Who the fuck has a goth for a mother?
  • You

See Also

External Links
Your Mom
is part of a series on

Life

[BRB HugboxGo Live One]
Article of the Nao May 8, 2011
Preceded by
4chon.net 		Your Mom Succeeded by
Jimbo Wales
Article of the Now July 15 & 16, 2022
Preceded by
Hunter Biden 		Your Mom Succeeded by
Pokemon
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