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DaddyOFive
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LOL, child protective services took Cody and Emma away from DaddyOThree, and they're skipping town to keep them from taking Jake, Alex, and Ryan!!! |
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This person is a fierce alcoholic
You can help by sending them pamphlets and donating your liver. |
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This article is paid for by taxpayers like you. Thanks, America. |
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| DaddyOFive | |
| Nationality | Americunt 
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| Born | December 17, 1982 |
| Residence | Maryland |
| JewTube | Template:Ytchannel (active) |
 MikeMartin1982 (active)
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DaddyOFive (Michael Christopher Martin) is a proud example as to why you wear condoms, or at least learn to smack the shit out of your ungrateful kids, something they don't teach you in parenting classes. He is your typical unfunny prank YouTuber inspired by the lard cameraman behind the Angry Grandpa show, KidBehindACamera. Upon further inspection, it's pretty obvious that DaddyOFive makes videos of pranking/bullying/abusing his kids, in revenge for being the 34 year old man child that he is. At some point way before he made his YouTube channel, he went to Marineland, where he met a whale and it was love at first site for the two. So he kidnapped the whale, married her and made 5 stupid and spoiled children with her, two of them he stole from his sister and are the only gingerheads in the family. Thus, eventually creating the channel we all know and love today. All he wanted was that sweet sweet ad revenue that every "popular" YouTuber wants, so why not film your entire family fucking each other up in exchange for getting large amounts of free money, being scolded by strangers on the Internet for abusing your children, and not having to work a entire day in your life?
The Cast
- DaddyOFive: The main character. He is an immature asshole who's spent THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of Jew gold on video games, and that's only mentioning his games, all his kids have gaming systems of their own since they are too young for the glorious PC master race. His favorite child is Jake and his least favorite is Cody. As of May 1st 2017, he is technically now known as DaddyOThree with Cody and Emma taken away from him.
- MommyOFive: Born Heather Lynn Withrow, on August 14, 1983, and has had a prior husband by the name of Rickie Zopp. The only thing she does better then looking like a whale is literally acting like a whale. This obese redneck of a woman justifies pulling a knife on her man child husband over being sprayed by a Nerf water gun. Will probably end up in a mental hospital someday. It is later on revealed that Cody and Emma are not her kids, meaning at some point in between Ryan and Alex being born her and DaddyOFive separated. (Don't tell me that surprises you.) As of May 1st 2017, she has lost custody of Emma and Cody therefore you could pretty much call her MommyOThree now.
- Jake: Apparently the creator of DaddyOFive. Is known for being the clear and very obvious favorite of Daddy and MommyOFive until of course, he comes out as gay which everyone knows he will grow up to be with his soft voice then they'll kick him out at 18. Loves picking on his younger siblings cause chances are. He'll never pick on somebody his own age cause he'd cry like a little bitch.
- Ryan: MommyOFive's favorite child hence why he's such a porker. He's mostly known for stealing candy from his parents 'cause he's a fat fucking cunt.
- Emma: You know that a kid is stupid when even their mother says that they're dumb. If you watch some of the cringeworthy videos you may understand why. You may think she's a bad child but chances are they've seen nothing... They might want to run when she starts getting her period like WhaleOFive does seemingly every day. She was also the last kid to get her first gaming system as before that, she was doing the women duties in the house like a good woman does along with MommyOFive, and of course 'cause girls suck at video games. Not to mention that she always gets abused by the boys in the family, especially with DaddyOFive and Jake around. From getting bitch-slapped, yelled at, and getting her artistic creativity ruined, she will never become a Picasso at this rate. As of May 1st 2017, she has been rescued from her retarded father and step mother and now lives with her real mother where she will probably be happier for now on.
- Cody: CopperCab back when he was a child. He's the center of attention in possibly a third of DaddyOFive's videos and pranks. He's your typical screaming, immature and somewhat mentally unstable Xbox Live player. His favorite things to do are playing with his shit and smearing it all over the walls and floors, stealing for the hell of it, and fucking around with his siblings' shampoo. Daddy and MommyOFive hate this little shit so much that they literally left him at grandma's house while the rest of the family went to Disney World (mostly for stealing, despite all the kids except for Emma having been caught stealing as well). It wouldn't be a surprise to see him on the news in 10 years time about him having shot up a school or something. As of may 1st 2017, he no longer lives with his father or step mother having rightfully lost custody of him to his real mother losing his only reason to play Super Columbine Massacre RPG and later on let that game inspire him in life.
- Alex: Mini Cody. Just as annoying as Cody, but more loved by his parents due to not reacting to pranks as hard and not being born a ginger. Clearly hates Cody for whatever reason as he once got him in trouble which resulted in Cody's 3DS being smashed by his dad. (And for the record, he didn't buy him a new one.) Stupid kid thought it would be a good idea to tell his grandma about what he did, which backfired on him entirely. MommyOFive shows her favoritism by preventing the dad from destroying Alex's 3DS and still allowed him to go to Disney World. He's mostly known for stealing one of KidBehindACamera's wrestler dolls despite the fat fucker having thousands left. Arguably the dumbest kid out of the five along with Emma.
Gallery of Child Abuse
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Daddy hit 'em in the face, apparently. -
Cody crying like a little bitch because his Dad caught himmasturbating without a condomplanning to shoot up his school. -
Parents would KILL to see some WWE SmackDown children edition on JewTube! -
In the Martin house, you need to prove your manliness by slapping a bitch. Do it for the Vine! -
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Daddy threw Cody into a bookshelf, thus giving him a bloody nose in the aftermath. -
Then the asshole threw him again.
Dad Pulls A Gun On His Own Child
You read that sub-section title correct. While they panicked and made all the videos on the main channel private, MommyOFive still has her videos up and is not trying to hide her ass from anyone, and this video makes the point of this article even more clear, proving that they are indeed some sick individuals that need to seek some family therapy. Pointing your gun at one of your sons that's pretending to be an intruder as a part of some innovative "prank" and ringing the annoying alarm throughout your house in order to scare somebody into firing the trigger is one of the stupidest fucking things you can do as a parent, the situation being worsened even more when you take in consideration that they were fully aware of this event occurring prior to filming.
Daddo Edits Videos to not get caught
Child Abuse Aquisations
It's supposed that they have a child abuse ring disguised as a YouTube channel, which couldn't be closer to the truth than it already is. The parents and older kids laughing in the younger kids' face every time at the end of a video when a prank has been done, we are glad that this has stopped, despite it happening for months at a time. It's safe to say that they are raising future school shooters, since some school shooters generally have a large history of being emotionally, physically, and verbally abused by their immediate family. Michael, knowing that people were coming to logical conclusions and was really finding out what was going on behind the scenes, decided to either DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING on his channel or make every video private except one newer video in particular where he makes a statement, apologizing the whole time, being dumbed down to a bitch in front of his fat ass of a wife, and says that the videos were faked in an attempt to cover himself, even though we already know what's going on by now. He also says in the description that we are the ones that are putting him and his family in real danger, when we weren't the ones that were beating the shit out of our children. To top it all off, the title of the (NOW DELETED) apology video is "Family Destroyed Over False Aquisations". Making a very long story short: if you're going to be serious for once in your life, at least make good use of your spell checker on the browser, since it doesn't even look like you tried to cover your tracks.
YourselfSuitChild Abuse Allegations (REMAKE. AND, ACTION!)
Apparently after all of the "hate" the family has been receiving, DaddyOFive decided to go on another approach when it comes to making very half-assed apologies. They hid the "Family Destroyed Over False Aquisations" apology and started from scratch yet AGAIN. This time trying to dress as snobby rich people to make sure that their acting is very formal and polite. They uploaded a new video named "DaddyOFive Founders Issue Public Apology" as if their real "apology" never existed. Basically in this video they are pleading for their lives and acting as if they are being attacked by horrible people, but in reality these cunts are playing their biggest victim card that they have ever created. Not to mention since this video has been cut multiple times, you can tell that something's up. Either that or Cody keeps screaming in the background and they were forced to fix the video and tell him to shut the fuck up. It is also noted that since next to nobody is falling for his bullshit apology that he is deleting comments of people who are rightfully calling him a child abuser and a shitty liar. According to DeFranco however, they hired a shitty crisis professional to help the parents out into creating this video including buying their clothing, sending them scripts to make their words sound accreate, perfect lighting and camera, etc. which totally means that this video is the only video that is staged in the DaddyOFive Channel.
Philip DeFranco
One of the first people who ever made Jewtube videos upon the situation was by a show host named Philip DeFranco who is probably working for the Wall Street Journal as we speak. His channel is mainly about discussing important news that are related into today's pop culture and memes 24/7. He's also a father and is the perfect rolemodel for DaddyOFive and Keemstar. In his videos he stopped his show entirely to discuss about the child abuse of the children and how the parents are the fuckers at fault. It soon blew up on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter, taking social media by storm as real news reporters scramble in to get their cut of the fame and fortune. Michael Martin blames him for exposing them and their "family", aswell as blaming him for all the "hate" the channel's been getting lately. Phil reacted immediately by creating yet ANOTHER video, lashing at them back. (And trying his best to not get easily TRIGGERED by the father's retarded words.)
Killer Keemstar Interview
Out of all of the Jewtubers who are roaming around on the site for drama, what better than to send our own gnome and savior killer Keemstar to check out the situation eh? Keemstar did an interview with Martin and Heather and discussing with them whether or not the prank videos are fake or real. (Most of the video is just bullshit lies from the parents mixed with Keemy being "neutral" to the situation. And the family took that to their advantage on Twitter by saying "SEE?? IT IS FAKE! JUST ASK KEEMSTAR!") At first the gnome actually believes that most of DaddyOFive's videos were faked or acted/planned out after that interview, until he watched the "DISGUSTING! Deleted Video Exposes HUGE Problem In DO5 YouTube Scandal" by DeFranco featured above. Everything was going fine and dandy, checking the vid out to add more Gfuel to the fire when he starts to whiteknight the family, when all of a sudden his mind snapped back into reality as he saw Emma getting slapped in the face by one of Martin's chubby sons. And after getting a Vietnam flashback and feeling empathy for the bitch because he has a daughter himself, he made another video trying to EXPOSE the family and making America Great Again.
<a href="https://twitter.com/KEEMSTAR/status/854804747987165186"></a>
Family Exposed by News Channels and Outlets
DaddyOFive Exposed by Jewtubers
Youtube Poops
The Underage Fanbase/Whiteknights
Here we can see that most of DaddyOFive's 700,000 subscribers on Jewtube are only just immature 12-year-olds who never won a fight in elementary school. (So they watch other kids do the fighting for them) When you encounter a DO5tard, you might notice the following things:
They will try to make excuses saying that all of Daddy's videos are fake because he said so in his "apology"
They will use caps in their sentences to get your attention
They have terrible grammar
They are mostly between the ages of 12-17 who don't know shit about parenthood (Judging by their avatars and lies)
"I'm just a kid"
They will try to group themselves into making hashtags, videos, and GoFundMe pages
They are retarded
They will never show evidence to support their claims
They will try to pick a fight with anyone who disagrees with DO5
They will deny any evidence and try to go around it
Gingers and Rednecks have souls
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Some Jewtube comments -
You can tell that he's 12 just by his avatar -
Grow up you 10 year old fatass -
Underage girl tells adults that they are heartless -
How to be a teen parent 101 -
#shutthefuckupimmaturetartlets -
"IGNORE ALL THE VIDEO EVIDENCE" -
"LEAVE YOUR SUSCRIBER COUNT IS LOW SO YOUR A NOBODY" -
"My parents made me have sex with them and I sucked my Dad's dick. Plus the video's fake." -
Don't tell a Marine what to do lil bitch -
Always use gifs to make your argument meaningful -
"SHOW SOME RESPECT MAN WE ARE DEBATING HERE1!1!!" -
"Here have a Dad meme I'll support you!" -
<3<3<3 -
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Child Protective Services and the REAL Mother
Recently, child protective services finally managed to kidnap Emma and Cody from the "parents" with warranties after Mike and Heather tried to get on the USA Today show. The video presents Rose Hall (who is retarded), the biological mother and her lawyer Tim Conlon. Basically thanking the Jewtube community into recognizing and sharing/spreading the situation at hand. (Especially thanking DeFranco) Rose looks just as a fatass as Heather which means that Mike has a desire of fucking fat bitches. Rose also suffers from a bipolar disorder, preventing her from taking child support against Mike during the early months BEFORE the DaddyOFive channel was born. From the video, it seems that she also suffers from anxiety and is extremely overwhelmed from all of the support she's been getting. (Notice how she responds to the lawyer with "yes sir" because she doesn't know what to say.) Thank Satan for these children, for they have returned to their mother's womb at last.
Real Mother Interview with Jewtuber
HAPPY ENDING
DaddyOThree On the Run
DaddyOFive and his whale of his wife finally lost custody of two of their money printers children, Cody and Emma after the initial onslaught of child abuse drama caught wind and their biological mother filed for custody. Being the first decent thing she's done since she decided "lolno" to raising her own children then being surprised when foster parents abused them, she's also ignited another lolcano and currently DaddyOThree is on the run in his travel van trying to hide while the biological fater of Alex, Jake and Ryan tries to do the same. You can also hear that sweet sweet silence of humanity as the fans of DaddyOFive disintegrated because they knew that the family has fucked up badly to the point of authorities trying to track them down to this day.
External Links
DaddyOFive's Videos (Archived)
YouTube
Other
- Their business, some shit they copyrighted or whatever.
- His PlayStation Network profile.
- His Xbox Live profile. Privated everything like he did with his youtube videos.
- A DaddyOFive facebook fan group. You know what to do now....
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DaddyOFive is a Good New Article. See the template page for more info. |
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DaddyOFive is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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DaddyOFive is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
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| Featured article April 23, 24 & 25, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Steve Stephens |
DaddyOFive | Succeeded by Steve Stephens |
| Featured article May 6 & 7, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Bill Clinton |
DaddyOFive | Succeeded by TBD |
