Oskar Dirlewanger

This person is a sick fuck! They should never be trusted by anyone!

Possible side-effects will include at least one of these: HIV/AIDS Bestiality Cuckoldry

This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation. You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen.

Dirlewanger's pretty little mug.

Ever had a violent or otherwise antisocial urge that the confines of society didn't let you fulfill? Did you then proceed to fight for your country in a brutal trench war only to get wounded to the point where you're quote "40% disabled?" Did you then proceed to get kicked out of a school for being too antisemitic for 1920s Germany, pursue a political science degree, join the nascent Nazi party, fuck a 14 year old and proceed to then fight in WW2 and rape, murder and loot your way through eastern europe? No? Well this motherfucker has. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one and only Oskar Dirlewanger!

Humble beginnings

Rape sum facking poles!

Dirlewanger was born in the 19th century only to proceed to sign up for the meatgrinder that was world war 1. There he fought with surprising courage, getting heavily wounded in the process. Many historians theorise that the wounds themselves were likely what tipped Oskar over the edge, but the leading theory on the internet is that dirlewanger turned into a rapist to make up for his involuntary celibacy during his adolescence. That's right, despite being 6 foot and born into a fairly well situated family Dirlewanger never married, which is grounds for speculation that Dirlewanger's motivations were those of a virgin with rage. Despite this minor setback, though, Dirlewanger managed to get his life somewhat back on track after the first world war. Described as "a mentally unstable, violent fanatic and alcoholic, who had the habit of erupting into violence under the influence of drugs", Dirlewanger joined the Freikorps to fight communists and studied at a commercial school from which he was discharged for antisemitism. His commie-bashing exploits were very successful, earning him hero status in one city (a comedic foreshadowing of things to come, perhaps?) and he even managed to study at a university, earning a political science degree and commanding an ex-jewish textile factory. This is where his first foray into child molestation begins, as he was convinced for, among other things, "contributing to the delinquency of a minor with whom he was sexually involved." Dirlewanger also fought in the spanish civil war, where he got wounded AGAIN and made it out alive AGAIN.

World war 2

By luck or divine providence Oskar had a friend that bailed him out of everything in the form of Gottlob Berger, who managed to get him a snazzy SS brigade of his own, the SS-Sturmbrigade Dirlewanger. Oskar wasted no time and immediately started rounding up all the rapists, murderers, mentally ill, faggots and other assorted scum of the earth to help him in his noble endeavors in eastern europe. His trolling clique was kept in line through beatings and murder to make sure maximum rape was achieved, and the brigade of "troops" happily waltzed their way through the eastern front.

The price is right!

Wanna know how I she got these scars?

Poland

Dirlewanger was deployed to quell the Warsaw uprising and quickly brutalised the population so much that other german units demanded his withdrawal. OsKKKar didn't give a shit though, and managed to rack up a kill tally of over 40000 civillians in a little over TWO DAYS. Quoting TOW: "In the defeat of the Uprising, it was reported that the Dirlewanger Brigade burned prisoners alive with gasoline, impaled babies on bayonets and stuck them out of windows and hung women upside down from balconies".

Choice exploits, most directly quoted from TOW

• Dirlewanger burned three hospitals with patients inside while the nurses were "whipped, gang-raped and finally hanged naked, together with the doctors" to the accompaniment of the popular song "In München steht ein Hofbräuhaus"
• Dirlewanger took a baby from a woman who was standing in the crowd in the street. He lifted the child high and then threw it into the fire. Then he shot the mother.
• He massacred roughly 350 children by shooting them and slamming rifle butts into their heads
• Dirlewanger also had a habit of hanging people every Thursday, whether it be Poles or his own men, often being the one to kick the chair out from underneath them
• Injected jewish women with strychnine to watch them convulse
• Described as "an expert in extermination and a devotee of sadism and necrophilia"
• Raped children regardless of their gender

The end?

U mad, bro?

If by the end of this article any faggot atheists dare to question the existence of God they will be raped by the vengeful ghost of dirlewanger himself, because dirlewanger sustained 12 injuries JUST IN ww2 and managed to live throughout the entire war, proving himself once and for all to be God's chosen champion. His post war accounts wary, with some saying that he was beaten to death after his testicles were obliterated by polish guards, while others say that he managed to escape and either joined the french foreign legion or escaped to Egypt. All in all, you have to admire the motherfucker's tenacity. After all, when life gave him bullets and shrapnel, he made rapenade.