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{{spoiler|HOLY NIGGER FUCK! BOSTON GOT BLOWN THE FUCK UP. IT'S THE BOSTON TNT PARTY}}
{{FBI}}
<br>
{{offended}}
{{offended}}
{{quote|DID YOU KNOW... killing 3 people is all it takes to be a [[terrorist]] nowadays?}}
{{ib|[[File:Tamerlan and Dzhokhar.jpg|250px]]}}
[[Image:Martin boston.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Kids die and the country flips its shit. It's [[Sandy Hook]] all over again, only {{hover|stupider|Only one kid died here as opposed to the twenty of Sandy Hook, and this time everyone's blaming terrorism}}.]]
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev'''</big>}}
[[Last Thursday|On April 15th 2013]], a load of lycra-clad [[Boston]]ians got [[pwned]] by [[terrorists]] at some gay marathon. [[Cripples|Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit]]. [[Some argue]] however, that it shouldn't have spoiled the day - first it was a marathon, now it's a three-legged race. It's a huge chance the [[Muslim|Muzzies]] were at the [[Burn it with fire!|Mosques]] doing their typical prayer screaming "[[Allah Akbar|ALLAH U FUCKBAR]]" while it was coincidentally happening and fucked [[at least 100|at least 183 people]] who got almost murdered [[Deathcore|br00t4lly]].
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|October 21, 1986 (Tamerlan)<br>July 22, 1993 (Dzhokhar, {{age|1993|7|22}} years old)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|April 19, 2013 (Tamerlan, aged 26)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Kyrgyzstan|Kyrgyz]]-[[Russian]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagKyrgyzstan.png]] [[File:MiniflagRussia.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 3, injured 264}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Bomberman, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No, killed by police (Tamerlan)<br>No, v& (Dzhokhar)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Islam|Snackbar]]}}
{{Ibend}}
[[File:Boston_multikill.jpeg‎|thumb|right|Typical gameplay screenshot]]
[[File:Boston bomber corpse.jpg|thumb|Ultra gore!!!]]
[[File:boston_massacre.jpg|thumb|right|'''Terrorism{{tm}}''' &bull; ''[[Bright Neon Nike Shirt|Just Do It!]]'']]


==Culprit==
The '''2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon''', also known as the '''Boston TNT Party''', was a tactical first-person sporting game in which a team of [[Muslims|terrorists]] competed against a team of [[Jews|counter-terrorists]] in a series of rounds. The event was [[lulz|a blast]] and the funniest Boston Marathon [[evar]] when nobody expected a marathon to become a game; [[at least 100|at least 260 people]] were blown away with 3 completely destroyed. While marathon running never used to be popular, it recently [[lulz|exploded]] into the mainstream as a vortex of lulz and drama, primarily due to the enhanced gameplay brought about by the introduction of [[Bomb|new obstacles]] near the finish line and the addition of extra [[Communists|tactical teams]] and terrorists to pass through. When the players are nearing the finish line, they are required to dodge the nearby explosion of the bombs planted by the terrorists, or they get blown to pieces, with their giblets all over the place. As far as we know, this has only happened to a few players so far, including a few [[Oink|cops]], a [[Justin Bieber|13 year old boy]], and some other guy that [[Truth|nobody cares]] about.
Unfortunately nobody knows fucking shit about who the culprit is, so therefore we will list one of the suspects and who has to be responsible.


===1st Suspect===
==Gameplay==
[[Image:Sand nigger boston.jpg|thumb|right|Show him your picture of Prophet Muhammad, just [[for the lulz|to protect yourself]].]]
The first suspect was some [[sand nigger]] from [[Saudi Arabia]] who for some reason for arrested but was found '''not''' guilty and was found as a [[victim]], although for some reason, although it's like all [[sand nigger]]s, he was some guy in white and a robe and he had a golden "[[piss]]tol" in his hand. With a look like that, it was easy to know he would suspected like all [[sand nigger]]s who get [[butthurt]] when you draw [[Prophet Muhammad]] [[for the lulz]].


===Possible culprit===
[[File:Msp_wallhack.jpeg|thumb||left|The wallhack/radar used by the Massachusetts State Police to cheat in Round 3]]
* Another [[sand nigger]]/[[Muslim|Muzzie]]
 
* Some Korean [[gook]] who decided that [[Americunt]] had it coming.
Players can either join the terrorists, counter-terrorists, or spectators. The spectators don't spawn with any weapons, but can still get their legs blown off from all the incoming gunfire. The [[terrorist]]s decided this would be a better game to play than [[Russian Roulette]] and decided to plant these obstacles as the [[Jew|counter-terrorists]] were so fuckin' blind that they couldn't see what was coming.
* [[Black Jesus]] (our president) doing another conspiracy
 
* [[Osama Bin Laden|Our hide-and-seek champion from 2001-2011 rising from the dead]]
The counter-terrorist team begins by running a two-legged race [[homosexual|wearing spandex]] while dodging the numerous obstacles thrown in their path. Failing to avoid these obstacles can result in loss of [[at least 100]] health points and having to complete the race on only one leg, effectively converting it to a game of [[faggotry|hopscotch]].
* Just a new leader from [[Al Qaeda]]
 
* Some [[kike]]
Three players on the spectator team lost [[over 9,000]] health points, causing their death. Even the hospitals couldn't cure them. It consisted of some young 8 year old boy, a Chink graduate school student, and a restaurant manager lady. Then the two culprits ran away as only one became an [[martyr]] while the other one surrendered and went with the [[police|puh-leez]].
* [[Christfag|Westboro Baptist Church]]
 
===Cheating===
It is widely suspected that the counter-terrorist team used a [[n00bs|wallhack]] with the [[party van]] to locate the last remaining opponent [[faggotry|masturbating]] in a boat in some guy's front yard. Additionally, they have admitted to [[hax|botting]] in order to diffuse the remaining unexploded IED's. Cheating n00bs. After an epic battle with the [[party van]] and [[police|pigs]], Tamerlan Tsarnaev got shot and died instantly, and now is currently partying in [[hell]] with [[Adam Lanza]], [[Columbine|Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris]], [[Cho Seung-Hui]], [[Ted Bundy]], [[Hitler]], and a million other people that is elected [[an hero]].
 
==Competitors==
 
===Terrorist Team===
[[File:GUILTY BOSTON.jpg|thumb|The two commies considered by the [[party van]] as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed [[Jews]].]]
 
[[File:The Two Culprits.png|thumb|The [[goodnight sweet prince|player]] with the dark baseball cap was [[kill|dispatched]] by the [[FBI]] in a gun battle. The [[wigger|player]] with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with [[Bubba]].]]
 
During the first few days, the commies weren't identified, because the [[police]] are too fucking [[retarded]] to figure out something so [[impossible|easy]]. As it turns out, the two players on the terrorist team are Muslims. Surprise! One commie was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and placing it where the second [[bomb|pressure cooker of the gods]] exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't [[sand nigger]]s, or even [[North Korea]]n [[gook]]s. At first they accused some [[illegal alien]] from [[Saudi Arabia]] of doing it after the police were having a fun time playing their favorite game called [[9/11]].
 
The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two [[muslim|Chechen]] natives who were deeply involved in [[buttsex|Islam]]. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's {{twitter|J_tsar|Twitter}}.
[[File:Dzhokhar-tsarnaev-six-stars.png|thumb|Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.]]
[[File:J tsar tweet screencap.png|thumb|center|600px|[https://twitter.com/J_tsar/status/291423943418597376 Awkwarrrd.]]]
 
====Terrorist Family====
26 year old Tamerlan Tsarnaev married Katherine Russell and had a 3 year old daughter together named Zahara.
 
<center>
<gallery>
File:TamerlanTsarnaevWaiKruMMAapril2009.jpg|Tamerlan is a [[Fag|fashionable guy]]
File:TamerlanTsarnaev.jpg|Tamerlan training MMA
File:KatherineRussell.jpg|Katherine, bride of terrorist. [[Asking for it|You totally fucking would.]]
File:WarrenRussell.jpg|Katherine's dad Warren is positively shattered at the death of his son-in-law.
File:JudithRussell.jpg|Kathy's mom Judy is also very sad.
File:AnnaRussell.jpg|Her sister Anna is in college. Has anyone banged her? Speak up.
File:SisterRussell.jpg|Anna and Kathy may also have another sister. Is she a virgin?
</gallery>
</center>
 
====Who benefits?====
When looking at the ulterior motives behind this bombing, we need to look beyond mere [[Islam]]. We must look at individuals who benefited from the situation. These include:
*People trying to increase military spending
*Fat people who hate marathons
*New York Yankees fans.
*Kofi Kingston ("S.O.S.! I hear them shoutin'!"), a Bostonian who won his third [[WWE]] United States Championship (using his "Boom! Boom! Boom!" finisher Boom Drop to defeat Antonio Cesaro) less than 8 hours after 3 people were killed by the bombs.
 
===Counter-Terrorist Team===
Loads of people got their [[1guy1knee|legs]] blown off and shit, it was [[lulz|awesome]]. [[Some argue]]d however, that in order to race, everyone needs a pair of legs. Fascists. So, instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. Switching maps in the middle of a match is widely regarded as a form of admin abuse.
 
In later rounds, some guy at [[MIT]] got [[headshot|headshotted]] near a [[7-11]], and some chicks in an SUV got [[Grand Theft Auto|GTA'd]]. A car chase ensued resulting in one of the terrorists getting vehicle team-killed while the other easily got away from the dozens of pursuing police officers.
 
==Final Score==
 
The terrorist team epically [[pwned]] the counter-terrorists by a final score of 4 frags to 1, over the course of 3 maps.
 
===Score by map===
de_Boston (Terrorists: 3, Counter-Terrorists: 0)
 
cs_MIT (Terrorists: 1, Counter-Terrorists: 0)
 
Watertown (Terrorists: 0, Counter-Terrorists: 1) (One terrorist team killed by other via SUV.)
 
==Graded Score==
 
{{GradedScore|3| |1|300 injured aprx|14|Way to finish a race off|19|Broke the lulz algorithm with only 3 kills|16|Escaped the bomb and lead a manhunt|46|C-|Ban assault pressure cookers!!11}}
 
{{Wanted|6}}


==Rank and Situation==
==Rank and Situation==
===Rank===
===Rank===
After [[Colorado Theatre Shooting|James Holmes killed those couch potatoes at that movie theater]], some glamfags made a fire happen with over 200 people killed, [[Sandy hook|Adam Lanza]], an [[aspie]], [[pwnt]] several [[fugly|key-you-tea]]-looking children and beated off the living fuck out of teh country, and other successful hardships made by [[an hero]], this explosion's rank killed 3 people, including some 8 year old boy, and some adults but severely hurt at least 183 people who are [[bleed]]ing their asses off. The culprit deserves a B-. The [[party van]]s came with the FBI cumming out and called it a [[terrorist]] attack because they were secretly [[fact|busy beating off to the video of 9/11 which got this in their fuckin' mind]].
After [[Colorado Theatre Shooting|James Holmes killed those couch potatoes at that movie theater]], some [[tranny|glamfags]] made a fire happen with over 233 people killed somewhere in Brazil, [[Sandy hook|Adam Lanza]] the [[aspie]] [[pwnt]]ing several [[fugly|key-you-tea]]-looking children and had beated off the living fuck out of teh country, and other successful hardships made by [[an hero]], this explosion's rank have killed merely 3 people, including some 8 year old boy, and some adults but severely hurt at least 183 people who are [[bleed]]ing their asses off. The culprit earns a C-. The [[party van]]s came with the FBI cumming out and calling it a [[terrorist]] attack because they were secretly [[fact|busy beating off to the video of 9/11 which got this in their fuckin' mind]].


===Situation===
===Situation===
Once some gay marathon mostly consisting of [[retard]]s in green and some [[ginger]]s, once they all were up to the [[Finnish|finish]] line, two twin bombs exploded recently after the [[gook]]s from North Korea threatened to bomb [[Americunt]] and become the new [[sand nigger]]s. It seems now possibly several [[ginger]]s (who all infest Boston) are either injured or hiding (in the [[closet]]) which is why the person who did this was brave to sacrifice his life by reducing the spread of [[ginger]] vitus in Boston. Now we can keep our souls!!! Unfortunately there was still more [[ginger]]s haunting the world with their soulless magic! We will now do another thing to team up and protect the world from them as well as the [[beaner]]s who caused the swine flu.
Once some gay marathon mostly consisting of [[retard]]s in green and some [[ginger]]s are all were up to the [[Finnish|finish]] line, teh two twin bombs exploded. This is recently after some [[gook]]s from North Korea threatened to bomb [[Americunt]] and become the new [[sand nigger]]s. It seems now possibly several [[ginger]]s (who all infest Boston) are either injured or hiding (in the [[closet]]), which is why the person who did this was brave to sacrifice his life by reducing the spread of [[ginger]] vitus in Boston. Now we can keep our souls! Unfortunately, there are still more [[ginger]]s haunting the world with their soulless magic! We will now have to do another thing to team up and protect the world from them as well as the [[beaner]]s who caused the [[swine flu]].


====Plot====
====Plot====
*A crowd fills with [[ginger]]s, [[retard]]s, [[Britfag]]s, [[victim]]s and others.
*A crowd fills with [[ginger]]s, [[retard]]s, [[Britfag]]s, [[victim]]s, and many others.
*The marchers cum in (wit their [[cum]]).
*The marchers cum in (wit their [[cum]]).
*A long time of watching a boring ass show of a bunch of [[aspie|asspies]] marching until they cross the finish line.
*A long time of watching a boring-ass show of a bunch of [[asspie]]s marching until they cross the finish line.
*Some one fucked shit up. We don't know who but we do know that they did a terrible job at it as only 3 people died.
*Some one fucked teh shit up. We don't know who but we do know that they did a terrible job at it as only 3 people died.
*Newsflash with [[butthurt]] reactions.
*Newsflash with [[butthurt]] reactions.
*[[Osama Bin Laden]] watches the news and gets pissed with those Korean [[gook]]s for copying him and his [[sand nigger]] prison punks.
*[[Osama Bin Laden]] watches the news and gets pissed with those Korean [[gook]]s for copying him and his [[sand nigger]] prison punks.
*Koreans could be the new [[sand nigger]]s.
*[[North Korea]]ns could be the new [[sand nigger]]s.
 
==Videos==
Many people who experienced this were shocked and decided to make JewTube videos about it. Most of them are just news story bullshit where [[fox news|the media]] ramble on about how "tragic" these events are and fail to realize that they've just been trolled by a bunch of lulzy Muslims pulling pranks on them. As for the other videos, many people just made parodies about it for the sole purpose of generating lulz and/or supporting Tsarnaev. Below are some prime examples of this:
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|quote|background-color:#d8d8d8;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>QFiuxsj3zzw</youtube><br /><center>'''This is definitely why there are so many<br>incidents like this in the [[USA]].'''</center>
|<youtube>woPe1WTCgFA</youtube><br /><center>'''Even [[Strutting Leo|Leonardo DiCaprio]] can't imagine two weeks in Boston.'''</center>
|<youtube>K2KV5iczNSY</youtube><br /><center></center>
|<youtube>rUeohwpk9GE</youtube><br /><center>'''DA [[Harlem Shake|HARLEM SHAKE]]'''</center>}}|border=#d8d8d8|background=#d8d8d8}}
|}


==Reaction==
==Theme song==
===Westboro Baptist Church===
<pre>
[[File:Westboro love terrorism.jpg|200px|right]]
I'm a sailor peg
The [[christfag]]s from the [[God hates fags|Westboro Baptist Church]] came to a [[lol wut|GEENIE-YISS]] conclusion that [[God]] set those Palestinian alarm clocks there to punish Boston for allowing [[gay marriage|homo marriage]] in the city. So then they held signs expressing how much they are happy about what happened and even [[Twatter|tweeted]] it online which apparently made many people extremely [[butthurt|asshurt]] over the tweet even though we all know [[fact|Christfags must die!!!!!]] However, they now say that Boston shall suffer.
and I lost my leg!


===Videos===
I ran past the finish line
{{center|
I lost my leg!
{{frame|{{fv|VIDEOS|background-color: grey;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>qBC5ezy7uX8</youtube> <br> <center>'''[[Black Jesus]] makes his hate speech''' </center>
|<youtube>GgUUm8mcqzs</youtube> <br> <center>'''See the lulzy explosion for [[free]]'''</center>
|<youtube>sjFxjXOPVZQ</youtube> <br> <center>'''A [[cracker]] talks about this'''</center>
}}|border=blue|background=blue; margin: .5em auto;}}
}}


I'm shipping up to Boston!
(whoa oh oh)
(x3)
I'm shipping off
to find my wooden leg!
I'm a sailor peg
and I lost my leg!
I ran past the finish line
I lost my leg!
I'm shipping up to Boston!
(whoa oh oh)
(x3)
I'm shipping off
to find my wooden leg!
</pre>
==Trolling people who were shocked by the scene==
==Trolling people who were shocked by the scene==
*Tell them it was a funny situation
[[File:ATHFBombSquad.jpg|thumb|One of the bombs that [[fail|failed]] to detonate at he scene.]]
*Say that it was a conspiracy by Obama
[[File:The Joker on the Boston Bombing.jpg|thumb|[[Heath Ledger|Some pasty-faced tranny faggot]] has his say.]]
*Blame it on the [[Muslim]]s [[for the lulz|cause they're Muslims]]
*Tell them it was a funny situation.
*Start a forum making jokes of the event
*Show them this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2KV5iczNSY video] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFiuxsj3zzw Even if this video is better].
*Say the victims had it coming
*Do a [[Harlem Shake]] on it like what they did [http://youtu.be/XTqh0D49DkA here].
*If you found the culprit, impersonate the culprit online like [[Successful troll is successful|Jacob Douglas]] did with [[Sandy Hook|Adam Lanza]] on [[Twatter]] which successfully made many angst-ridden teens, dumbfucked adults and more [[butthurt]]
*Say that it was a conspiracy by [[Barack Obama]].
*Say that you did it
*Say that it was an act by [[God]] to penalize [[Boston]] for [[gay marriage|same-sex marriage]].
*[[Hitler|Blame it on the kikes]]
*Blame it on the [[Muslim]]s [[for the lulz|cause they're Muslims]].
*Show them this article
*Start a forum making jokes of the event.
*Make [[image macros]] about it and post them on a [[Facebook]] page.
*Blame it on any [[Korean]] [[gook]] walking by.
*Impersonate the two culprits online like this {{twitter|Jodi_arias}} account on [[Twitter]] which successfully made many angst-ridden teens, dumbfucked adults and everyone in between extremely [[butthurt]].
*Say that [[Fact|you did it]].
*[[Hitler|Blame it on the kikes]].
*Just to make the [[FBI]] get their shit stirred, google "how to make bomb explosions" or something like that. (WARNING: THE [[FBI]] IS [[Stalking|WATCHING]] YOU!!!!!!)
*Say that it was a blast.
*Tell people that the event was da bomb. Remind them that everybody had a blast and that the crowd really exploded at the finish line. It really blew them away.
*Point out that [[Anders Breivik]] was right about the Muslims.
*Tell people that you hope the victims "Rest in Pieces".
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpmecKmzDhg Say that a terrorist is cute.]


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
{{cg|Boston Marathon 2013|BOSTONBOMBING|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Martin boston.jpg|[[Obviously|Pedophiles respect this victim the most]].
Image:Jewsdidboston.png|Kikes did everything
Image:Jewsdidboston.png|Kikes did everything
Image:God hates boston.jpg|Christfags speak
Image:God hates boston.jpg|Christfags speak
Line 69: Line 173:
Image:Boston necro.jpg|Someone [[Necrophilia|having sex with a victim's corpse]].
Image:Boston necro.jpg|Someone [[Necrophilia|having sex with a victim's corpse]].
Image:Boston corpse.jpg|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Please fuck the corpse]], just to be safe from getting [[AIDS]].
Image:Boston corpse.jpg|[[DO IT FAGGOT|Please fuck the corpse]], just to be safe from getting [[AIDS]].
Image:Kimjongundidit.png|We all know [[Evildoer Korea|who]] was responsible for this.
Image:Kimjongundidit.png|We all know [[Best Korea|who]] was responsible for this.
File:Brony Boston Card.png|A [[no|tasteful tribute]] from the [[Brony|ponyfuckers]].
File:Sonic Supports Boston.png|The [[Sonic|Sonic fans]] make their own tribute
Image:Boston Bombings.jpg|I'm a sailor peg and I lost my leg.
Image:Boston Bombings.jpg|I'm a sailor peg and I lost my leg.
File:Dorner did boston.gif|Shocking evidence [[the man]] doesn't want you to see.
File:Dorner did boston.gif|Shocking evidence [[the man]] doesn't want you to see.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=5>
File:Boston Bomberman.jpg
File:Boston Bomberman.jpg
</gallery></center>
File:BOMBER.png
File:Team Rocket is blasting off again - boston bombing.gif|Team Rocket is Blasting off again!!!
File:SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB.jpg
Image:Boston Conspiracy.png|They said I was paranoid...
File:Boston yeti.jpg|New pictures emerge of a possible suspect.
File:Bad luck brian boston marathon.png
File:Joe family guy boston marathon attack.jpg
File:Fire nation boston attack.jpg
File:Bomb blast.jpg
File:Dzhokhar - Lonely Island I'm In a Boat cover.jpg
File:Well at least the marathon went off with a bang boston 2013.jpg|A valid point.
File:The last lap was to die for - boston 2013.jpg
File:ChechNYAN CAT boston bombing.jpg
File:Dzhokhar - more like Joker.jpg
File:BOSTON - YOU DONT MES WITH THE DHOKAR.jpg
File:Boston Fucking Shits.png|[[Mark Wahlberg|Outta my way, Boston fucking shits]]!
Image:The Two Culprits.png|Jews did Boston
Image:Ameriball mudslimes.png|
Image:churka vk page.jpg
Image:KimJongUn_Boston_Bombings.jpg|How could this not even be who the [[North Korea|real culprit]] is?!
Image:Tamerlan.jpg|Tamerlan, looks a lot like an [[Italian|eye-tie]], also got shot by the [[party van]].
Image:Boston bomber corpse.jpg|God dayum mah beetchez dat kid looks br00t4l. Take this to the [[death metal]] gig.
File:Dzhokhar fake.jpg|The sexy beast responsible for the bombing.
File:Dzhohar Tamerlan 34.jpg|Dzhokhar drew pictures of himself and his brother having GAY SEX and posted it on his deviantart account!
File:Djohar-tsarnaevs.jpg
File:4chor8chpolshooters.png
File:Bostonminesweeper.jpg
File:Dzhokhar interrogation.jpg|Dzhokhar gets interrogated
File:Dzhokhar intheass.jpg|Dzhokhar gets it [[in the ass]]
File:Boston marathon bombsweeper.jpg
File:GTA boston wallpaper1600x1200.jpg|wallpaper - 1600x1200
File:GTA boston wallpaper1920x1080.jpg|wallpaper  - 1920x1080
File:Bostonmarathonblastlol.jpg
</gallery>}}


==See Also==
==See Also==
*[[Sandy Hook]]
*[[Sandy Hook]]
*[[Colorado Theatre Shooting]]
*[[Colorado Theatre Shooting]]
*[[Elliot Rodger]]
*[[Vegas shooting]]
*[[9/11]]
*[[9/11]]
*[[Oklahoma City Bombing]]
*[[London Bridge Attack 2017]]
*[[ATHF Terrorist Attack]]
*[[Islam]]
*[[Terrorism]]
*[[North Korea]]
*[[Osama Bin Laden]]
*[[Boston]]
*[[Boston]]


{{anheroes}}
==External Links==
{{murder}}
*{{yt|u|RaZMmoe}}
*{{yt|u|muazseyfullah}}
*{{twitter|J_tsar}}
*[http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/20/us/boston-marathon-bomber-to-be-formally-sentenced-in-june-but-process-is-far-from-over.html?_r=0 The New York Times' Take on it], apparently, Tsarnaev will be sentenced to death for his lulzy actions.
 
{{High Scores}}
{{islam}}
{{Jews}}
{{terrorists}}
{{politics}}
{{politics}}
{{Psychopaths}}


[[Category:2013]]
[[Category:2013]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Events]]
{{Timeline|Featured article April 19 & 20, [[2013]]|[[Mark Wahlberg]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[ScrewAttack]]}}

Latest revision as of 04:50, 7 October 2024

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HOLY SHIT HOLY NIGGER FUCK! BOSTON GOT BLOWN THE FUCK UP. IT'S THE BOSTON TNT PARTY!!!1
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Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev
Born October 21, 1986 (Tamerlan)
July 22, 1993 (Dzhokhar, 31 years old)
Died April 19, 2013 (Tamerlan, aged 26)
Nationality: Kyrgyz-Russian  
Highscore Killed 3, injured 264
Top 50? No
Style Bomberman, Co-Op Mode
An Hero? No, killed by police (Tamerlan)
No, v& (Dzhokhar)
Motive Snackbar
Typical gameplay screenshot
Ultra gore!!!
Terrorism™ • Just Do It!

The 2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon, also known as the Boston TNT Party, was a tactical first-person sporting game in which a team of terrorists competed against a team of counter-terrorists in a series of rounds. The event was a blast and the funniest Boston Marathon evar when nobody expected a marathon to become a game; at least 260 people were blown away with 3 completely destroyed. While marathon running never used to be popular, it recently exploded into the mainstream as a vortex of lulz and drama, primarily due to the enhanced gameplay brought about by the introduction of new obstacles near the finish line and the addition of extra tactical teams and terrorists to pass through. When the players are nearing the finish line, they are required to dodge the nearby explosion of the bombs planted by the terrorists, or they get blown to pieces, with their giblets all over the place. As far as we know, this has only happened to a few players so far, including a few cops, a 13 year old boy, and some other guy that nobody cares about.

Gameplay

The wallhack/radar used by the Massachusetts State Police to cheat in Round 3

Players can either join the terrorists, counter-terrorists, or spectators. The spectators don't spawn with any weapons, but can still get their legs blown off from all the incoming gunfire. The terrorists decided this would be a better game to play than Russian Roulette and decided to plant these obstacles as the counter-terrorists were so fuckin' blind that they couldn't see what was coming.

The counter-terrorist team begins by running a two-legged race wearing spandex while dodging the numerous obstacles thrown in their path. Failing to avoid these obstacles can result in loss of at least 100 health points and having to complete the race on only one leg, effectively converting it to a game of hopscotch.

Three players on the spectator team lost over 9,000 health points, causing their death. Even the hospitals couldn't cure them. It consisted of some young 8 year old boy, a Chink graduate school student, and a restaurant manager lady. Then the two culprits ran away as only one became an martyr while the other one surrendered and went with the puh-leez.

Cheating

It is widely suspected that the counter-terrorist team used a wallhack with the party van to locate the last remaining opponent masturbating in a boat in some guy's front yard. Additionally, they have admitted to botting in order to diffuse the remaining unexploded IED's. Cheating n00bs. After an epic battle with the party van and pigs, Tamerlan Tsarnaev got shot and died instantly, and now is currently partying in hell with Adam Lanza, Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, Cho Seung-Hui, Ted Bundy, Hitler, and a million other people that is elected an hero.

Competitors

Terrorist Team

The two commies considered by the party van as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed Jews.
The player with the dark baseball cap was dispatched by the FBI in a gun battle. The player with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with Bubba.

During the first few days, the commies weren't identified, because the police are too fucking retarded to figure out something so easy. As it turns out, the two players on the terrorist team are Muslims. Surprise! One commie was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and placing it where the second pressure cooker of the gods exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't sand niggers, or even North Korean gooks. At first they accused some illegal alien from Saudi Arabia of doing it after the police were having a fun time playing their favorite game called 9/11.

The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two Chechen natives who were deeply involved in Islam. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's  Twitter.

Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.
Awkwarrrd.

Terrorist Family

26 year old Tamerlan Tsarnaev married Katherine Russell and had a 3 year old daughter together named Zahara.

  • Tamerlan is a fashionable guy
    Tamerlan is a fashionable guy
  • Tamerlan training MMA
    Tamerlan training MMA
  • Katherine, bride of terrorist. You totally fucking would.
    Katherine, bride of terrorist. You totally fucking would.
  • Katherine's dad Warren is positively shattered at the death of his son-in-law.
    Katherine's dad Warren is positively shattered at the death of his son-in-law.
  • Kathy's mom Judy is also very sad.
    Kathy's mom Judy is also very sad.
  • Her sister Anna is in college. Has anyone banged her? Speak up.
    Her sister Anna is in college. Has anyone banged her? Speak up.
  • Anna and Kathy may also have another sister. Is she a virgin?
    Anna and Kathy may also have another sister. Is she a virgin?

Who benefits?

When looking at the ulterior motives behind this bombing, we need to look beyond mere Islam. We must look at individuals who benefited from the situation. These include:

  • People trying to increase military spending
  • Fat people who hate marathons
  • New York Yankees fans.
  • Kofi Kingston ("S.O.S.! I hear them shoutin'!"), a Bostonian who won his third WWE United States Championship (using his "Boom! Boom! Boom!" finisher Boom Drop to defeat Antonio Cesaro) less than 8 hours after 3 people were killed by the bombs.

Counter-Terrorist Team

Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit, it was awesome. Some argued however, that in order to race, everyone needs a pair of legs. Fascists. So, instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. Switching maps in the middle of a match is widely regarded as a form of admin abuse.

In later rounds, some guy at MIT got headshotted near a 7-11, and some chicks in an SUV got GTA'd. A car chase ensued resulting in one of the terrorists getting vehicle team-killed while the other easily got away from the dozens of pursuing police officers.

Final Score

The terrorist team epically pwned the counter-terrorists by a final score of 4 frags to 1, over the course of 3 maps.

Score by map

de_Boston (Terrorists: 3, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

cs_MIT (Terrorists: 1, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

Watertown (Terrorists: 0, Counter-Terrorists: 1) (One terrorist team killed by other via SUV.)

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 3/20
Accuracy: 1/20 300 injured aprx
Style: 14/20 Way to finish a race off
Butthurt: 19/20 Broke the lulz algorithm with only 3 kills
Bonus: 16/20 Escaped the bomb and lead a manhunt
Total Score: 46/100 (C-)
Ban assault pressure cookers!!11
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Interpol


Rank and Situation

Rank

After James Holmes killed those couch potatoes at that movie theater, some glamfags made a fire happen with over 233 people killed somewhere in Brazil, Adam Lanza the aspie pwnting several key-you-tea-looking children and had beated off the living fuck out of teh country, and other successful hardships made by an hero, this explosion's rank have killed merely 3 people, including some 8 year old boy, and some adults but severely hurt at least 183 people who are bleeding their asses off. The culprit earns a C-. The party vans came with the FBI cumming out and calling it a terrorist attack because they were secretly busy beating off to the video of 9/11 which got this in their fuckin' mind.

Situation

Once some gay marathon mostly consisting of retards in green and some gingers are all were up to the finish line, teh two twin bombs exploded. This is recently after some gooks from North Korea threatened to bomb Americunt and become the new sand niggers. It seems now possibly several gingers (who all infest Boston) are either injured or hiding (in the closet), which is why the person who did this was brave to sacrifice his life by reducing the spread of ginger vitus in Boston. Now we can keep our souls! Unfortunately, there are still more gingers haunting the world with their soulless magic! We will now have to do another thing to team up and protect the world from them as well as the beaners who caused the swine flu.

Plot

  • A crowd fills with gingers, retards, Britfags, victims, and many others.
  • The marchers cum in (wit their cum).
  • A long time of watching a boring-ass show of a bunch of asspies marching until they cross the finish line.
  • Some one fucked teh shit up. We don't know who but we do know that they did a terrible job at it as only 3 people died.
  • Newsflash with butthurt reactions.
  • Osama Bin Laden watches the news and gets pissed with those Korean gooks for copying him and his sand nigger prison punks.
  • North Koreans could be the new sand niggers.

Videos

Many people who experienced this were shocked and decided to make JewTube videos about it. Most of them are just news story bullshit where the media ramble on about how "tragic" these events are and fail to realize that they've just been trolled by a bunch of lulzy Muslims pulling pranks on them. As for the other videos, many people just made parodies about it for the sole purpose of generating lulz and/or supporting Tsarnaev. Below are some prime examples of this:


This is definitely why there are so many
incidents like this in the USA.


Even Leonardo DiCaprio can't imagine two weeks in Boston.



DA HARLEM SHAKE

Previous Video | Next Video

Theme song

I'm a sailor peg
and I lost my leg!

I ran past the finish line
I lost my leg!

I'm shipping up to Boston!
(whoa oh oh) 
(x3)

I'm shipping off 
to find my wooden leg!

I'm a sailor peg
and I lost my leg!

I ran past the finish line
I lost my leg!

I'm shipping up to Boston! 
(whoa oh oh) 
(x3)

I'm shipping off 
to find my wooden leg!

Trolling people who were shocked by the scene

One of the bombs that failed to detonate at he scene.
Some pasty-faced tranny faggot has his say.

Gallery

Boston Marathon 2013 About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Team Rocket is Blasting off again!!!
    Team Rocket is Blasting off again!!!
  • They said I was paranoid...
    They said I was paranoid...
  • New pictures emerge of a possible suspect.
    New pictures emerge of a possible suspect.
  • A valid point.
    A valid point.
  • Outta my way, Boston fucking shits!
    Outta my way, Boston fucking shits!
  • Jews did Boston
    Jews did Boston
  • How could this not even be who the real culprit is?!
    How could this not even be who the real culprit is?!
  • Tamerlan, looks a lot like an eye-tie, also got shot by the party van.
    Tamerlan, looks a lot like an eye-tie, also got shot by the party van.
  • God dayum mah beetchez dat kid looks br00t4l. Take this to the death metal gig.
    God dayum mah beetchez dat kid looks br00t4l. Take this to the death metal gig.
  • The sexy beast responsible for the bombing.
    The sexy beast responsible for the bombing.
  • Dzhokhar drew pictures of himself and his brother having GAY SEX and posted it on his deviantart account!
    Dzhokhar drew pictures of himself and his brother having GAY SEX and posted it on his deviantart account!
  • Dzhokhar gets interrogated
    Dzhokhar gets interrogated
  • Dzhokhar gets it in the ass
    Dzhokhar gets it in the ass
  • wallpaper - 1600x1200
    wallpaper - 1600x1200
  • wallpaper - 1920x1080
    wallpaper - 1920x1080

See Also

External Links


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Featured article April 19 & 20, 2013
Preceded by
Mark Wahlberg 		Boston Marathon Bombing Succeeded by
ScrewAttack
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