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Mexico: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Usando.jpg|center]]
{{achtung| GOT PERMABANNED BY THE NEW [[Donald Trump|US PRESIDENT]] LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL}}
[[Image:Google_mexicans_suggested_searches.gif|thumb|right|[[Google]] hates Mexicans, and rightfully so.]]
 
[[Image:2204mexico flag over us flag .jpg|thumb|left|[[Oh noes]]]]
{{Rainbowpyramid|¡VIVA MÉXICO, CABRONES!}}<br><br><br>
[[Image:Plate Thief sm blur.jpg|thumb|right|Typical working Mexican helping the USA economy. [[Sarcasm|Great hiring Pep Boys]].]]
{{Spics}}
[[Image:Mexikan-upgrade.JPG|thumb|right|[[Google]] recently gave Mexicans a generous and much required upgrade]]
 
[[Image:A bad neighbor.gif|thumb|right|Now with swine flu!]]
[[Image:2204mexico flag over us flag .jpg|thumb|left|[[Oh noes]], the [[Spics]] took over America!]]
[[Image:Tween-dora-the-explorer.jpg|thumb|right|[[Asking for it|Tween dora]]]]
[[Image:WelcomeToMexico.jpeg|thumb|"This is how you get people to look up at you, in Meheeko."]]
'''Mexico''' (''mex'' as in "Mexs" to shout out at a Mexican - [[卐]] - ''jee'' as in ''[[Hello|HI]] pronounced "he"'' since it's Spanish ''-ko'' as in [[Cocaine]]) is a giant contaminated drug lab full of chili peppers, government oppression, massive fucking drug wars, [[drug dealer|dealers]], [[whores]], corruption, [[Alcohol#Tequila|tequila]], factories, jumping beans, blindingly quick mice, sombreros, tacos, [[sex]], and of course, the filthy [[Spics]]. The entire continent of Central and [[South America]] could actually be considered part of Mexico as well, but it's too insignificant for the Mexican government to recognize since most of its population was wiped out by [[swine flu]]. Mexico is currently <s>in contention with [[Africa]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[Balkans]] for the title of</s> the [[Mexico|Biggest Shithole on Earth]].
[[Image:Google_mexicans_suggested_searches.gif|thumb|[[Google]] hates Mexicans, and rightfully so.]]
[[Image:Plate Thief sm blur.jpg|thumb|Mexicans contribute greatly to the US economy. [[Sarcasm|Great hiring Pep Boys]].]]
[[Image:Tween-dora-the-explorer.jpg|thumb|IRL all Mexican girls are butt-ugly, smelly [[fat]] [[whores]].]]
 
'''Mexico''' (''mex'' as in "Mexs" to shout out at a Mexican - [[卐]] - ''jee'' as in ''[[Hello|HI]] pronounced "he"'' since it's Spanish ''-ko'' as in [[Cocaine]]) is a giant contaminated drug lab full of illegal immigrants, chili peppers, government oppression, massive fucking drug wars, [[drug dealer|dealers]], [[whores]], corruption, [[Alcohol#Tequila|tequila]], factories, jumping beans, blindingly quick mice, sombreros, tacos, and of course, the filthy [[Spics]]. The entire continent of Central and [[South America]] could actually be considered Mexican since they're all just fucking brown beaners [[amirite]]? Mexico is currently <s>in contention with [[Africa]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Pakistan]], [[Ukraine]] and the [[Balkans]] for the title of</s> the [[Mexico|Biggest Shithole on Earth]]. At present, what remains of Mexico is a [[Fail|failed state]] ruled by an Oligarchy and one of the world's most dangerous [[Mafia]]s that governs (is suspected to be [[CIA]]).


==History==
==History==
[[Image:Mexico_map.jpg|thumb|right|Nachos: the fact that eludes.]]
[[File:Mexico_map.jpg|thumb|The fact that eludes most low-IQ [[spics]]]]
[[Image:Mexicans_and_Sharpies.jpeg|thumb|right|Typical Mexican schoolgirls]]
[[File:Mexico today.png|thumb|Mexico today]]
[[File:Mexican-Baseball-lg.gif|thumb|right|Typical Mexican sport]]
[[File:Mexicans_and_Sharpies.jpeg|thumb|[[Typical]] Mexican schoolgirls]]
[[Image:Mexican family going to church.jpg|thumb|right|Pictured: [[Catholic|An average Mexican family on its weekly outing to the local church]].]]
[[File:Mexican-Baseball-lg.gif|thumb|[[Typical]] Mexican sport, which centers around [[animal abuse]]]]
[[Image:Beaners.jpg|thumb|right|[[In Soviet Russia]], Aliens deport YOU!]]
[[Image:Mexican family going to church.jpg|thumb|Pictured: [[Catholic|An average Mexican family on its weekly outing to the local church]].]]
[[Last Thursday]], the ancient Mayans moved to Mexico, which was a big fucking mistake. They were savage people living a savage lifestyle; they would slice off people's [[cock]]s with [http://www.juanslawns.com/ leaf blowers] and eat them just to appease the "[[Satan|Sun God]]". They created a disorganized, disgruntled group of small villages [[Basement-dweller|lacking any contact with the outside world]], and things quickly went [[Silent Hill|downhill]] from there. In the 16th century, the Aztecs were utterly [[pwned]] by the [[Spanish]] with help from Aztec-enslaved tribes, because even then [[fact|nobody liked the Azteca]]. Those [[Injuns]] who were either too lazy to work or too busy dying from [[AIDS|smallpox]] got replaced with [[slavery|free labor]] from [[Africa]] and the [[Philippines|East Indies]], hence the reason why some Mexicans appear blacker or [[Sharron Angle|look Asian]].
[[File:Beaners.jpg|thumb|[[In Soviet Russia]], aliens deport YOU!]]
[[File:Mexican gas chamber.jpg|thumb|If beaners did the [[holocaust]] ]]


The Mayans kept their own land for the next 170 years (and live there still, [[Rape|kidnapping]] the odd tourist and gibbering about the [[Guro|glory of human sacrifice]]). The Mayans like to think of themselves as [[pretty cool guy]]s, but really it was the Aztecs that had all the [[gold]], while all the Mayans had was a bunch of boring [[het]] slashfic about their [[chikins|chicken serpent]] god [[Mudkip|Quetzalcoatl]], which by the way the god [[TL;DR|Xiuhcoatl]] would have pwned anyways. (cause it's got an '[[X]]' in the name and everyone knows the letter 'X' makes everything cooler)
The first civilizations in Mexico, the Mayans, were the result of [[sick fuck]] [[Cthulhu|star-gods]] trolling the [[Injuns|timber niggers]] by teaching them [[Guro|human sacrifice]], up to and including [[Emo|self-cutting]], [[acrotomophilia]] and [[cannibalism]].  The Injuns must continue to murderfuck each other in the most [[lulz]]y ways possible for the gods' entertainment, or else they will [[Delete fucking everything|destroy the world]] in [[2012]] (which never happened).  The Mayans invented football, but their original concept was that if somebody lost he would be flayed alive and tortured to death as a sacrifice to [[Allah|God]]. Then the Mayans were replaced by the Aztecs who were ten tines worse as they [[Holocaust|literally sacrificed thousands of their enslaved victims]] by cutting them open ala surgery without anaesthesia and then dragging their heart out to the Sun while alive and beating (even the most sick [[Japan]]ese couldn't compete with Aztec religious practice) but their reign ended when in the 16th century [[Spain]] tested out their first prototype of [[Plague Inc]] by bombarding the Aztecs with [[AIDS|the lethal bioweapon smallpox.]] They got replaced with [[slavery|free labor]] from [[Africa]] and the [[Philippines|East Indies]], hence the reason why some Mexicans appear [[nigger|blacker]].
 
The Mayans kept their own land for the next 170 years (and live there still, [[Rape|kidnapping]] the odd tourist and gibbering about the [[Guro|glory of human sacrifice]]). The Mayans like to think of themselves as [[pretty cool guy]]s, but really it was the Aztecs that had all the [[gold]], while all the Mayans had was chocolate and a bunch of boring [[het]] slashfic about their [[chikins|chicken serpent]] god [[Mudkip|Quetzalcoatl]], which by the way the god [[TL;DR|Xiuhcoatl]] would have pwned anyways. (cause it's got an '[[X]]' in the name and everyone knows [[Truth|the letter 'X' makes everything cooler]])


The term "Mexican" is also used by people who want to save time and effort memorizing worthless countries like Guatemala, Honduras, Colombia, Venezuela, and Nicaragua but not [[Brazil]] since its nigger/trap/aids population makes it undesirable for anyone. The origin of the name "Mexican" [[Shit nobody cares about|has been suggested to be derived from Mextli or Mēxihtli, a secret name for the god of war and patron of the Aztecs, Huitzilopitchli, in which case Mēxihco means "Place where Mēxihtli lives."]]
The term "Mexican" is also used by people who want to save time and effort memorizing worthless countries like Guatemala, Honduras, Colombia, Venezuela, and Nicaragua but not [[Brazil]] since its nigger/trap/aids population makes it undesirable for anyone. The origin of the name "Mexican" [[Shit nobody cares about|has been suggested to be derived from Mextli or Mēxihtli, a secret name for the god of war and patron of the Aztecs, Huitzilopitchli, in which case Mēxihco means "Place where Mēxihtli lives."]]
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In the 19th century, Mexico's Government was pwned out of [[Texas]] by crazy [[rednecks]] who later [[Truth|gave it as a gift]] to the [[United States]]. It was during this period that the U.S. [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] captured [[New Mexico]], which the U.S. has unsuccessfully been trying to give back for 150 years.
In the 19th century, Mexico's Government was pwned out of [[Texas]] by crazy [[rednecks]] who later [[Truth|gave it as a gift]] to the [[United States]]. It was during this period that the U.S. [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] captured [[New Mexico]], which the U.S. has unsuccessfully been trying to give back for 150 years.


Modern Mexicans are a [[fail|strange]] race, adept at computer [[virus]] distribution, [[boxing]], masked wrestling, and dropping dead due to [[swine flu]]. While there have been few examples of Mexican celebrities finding overseas success, prominent Mexican citizen [http://skepdic.com/chupa.html Chupacabra] enjoyed brief fame in 1991. And of course, there's always Ricardo Montalban. Other famed celebrity personalities include [[unfunny|George Lopez]], [[Che Guevara]], and [[The Most Interesting Man In The World]]. The main exports of Mexico include beer, firearms, swine flu, [[spics|illegal immigrants]], and [[drugs]].
Modern Mexicans are a [[fail|strange race]], a mix of [[sand nigger|mediterranean european]], native Mexican tribes, random immigrants (people actually immigrate TO Mexico, [[SRSLY]], and a drop of [[nigger]]. Hierarchically they fall somewhere between [[nigger|black folk]] and the [[wiggers]] in terms of cultural, social, political and technological sophistication. They are not skilled at very many things but in those things in which they are, include such vital activities as mowing your lawn, taking out your trash, cleaning your toilets and sweeping your streets. Hence their value to society must not be underestimated.


[[Last Thursday]] Mexico became the birth place of [[swine flu]], when loyal fans of [[Muhammad|Porky Pig]] fucked a [[pig|boar]] with 4 different influenza strains, thus infecting half of Mexico City overnight. When 100 beaners died within hours from something other than [[dealer|beans sprayed with insecticide]], the Mexican Government started [[delete fucking everything|closing fucking everything]] to [[fail|prevent it from spreading]], after which they infected over 9,000 eurofags, and a few Jews, and has spread from [[Russia]] to [[Peru]] to [[Canada]] to [[Israel]] effectively fucking over the whole of mankind. Of course it wouldn't have happened if [[you]] had not gone to Mexico for Spring Break, dumb-ass.
While there have been few examples of Mexican celebrities finding overseas success, prominent Mexican citizen [http://skepdic.com/chupa.html Chupacabra] enjoyed brief fame in 1991. And of course, there's always Ricardo Montalban. Other famed celebrity personalities include [[unfunny|George Lopez]], [[Che Guevara]] ([[fact|actually "white" argentinian]]), [[tits|Salma Hayek]] and [[The Most Interesting Man In The World]]. The main exports of Mexico include beer, firearms, [[drugs]] but mainly [[spics|illegal immigrants]].
 
[[Last Thursday]], Mexico became the birth place of [[swine flu]]. This occurred when Mexicans unintentionally contracted the strain by partaking in their favorite weekly activity of [[muhammad|pig fucking]]. And thus inadvertently further demonstrated how Mexico really is the shittiest filthy place in the world. 100 beaners died and [[lulz]] were had when the Mexican Government started [[delete fucking everything|closing fucking everything]] to [[fail|prevent it from spreading]], after which they infected over 9,000 eurofags, and a few Jews, and had it spread from [[Russia]] to [[Peru]] to [[Canada]] to [[Israel]]. Of course [[none]] of this would have happened if [[you]] had not gone to Mexico for Spring Break, [[fucktard|dumbass]].


{{youtube|cTZC-j48JWg|Typical reaction from reading a wikipedia article about Mexican holidays}}
{{youtube|cTZC-j48JWg|Typical reaction from reading a wikipedia article about Mexican holidays}}


<center><youtube>cTZC-j48JWg</youtube></center>
<youtube>cTZC-j48JWg</youtube>


<center><youtube>JWfvJI7V_14</youtube></center>
<youtube>JWfvJI7V_14</youtube>


==[[Christmas|Present]]==
==[[Christmas|Present]]==
[[Image:Mexican_job.jpg|thumb|A Mexican's "upper-class" high paying job.]]
[[File:Mexicanmeal.jpg|thumb|[[El Blog del Narco]] has great examples of modern day Mexican cuisine]]
[[File:Mexicanmeal.jpg|thumb|[[El Blog del Narco]] has great examples of modern day Mexican cuisine]]
Modern Mexico is <s>in</s> a sad, lulz-less state. In the late 1990s, the ruling [[Nazi|PRI]] government began distributing maps, first-aid kits, and fake IDs to select households to encourage the systematic immigration of the entire populace to the United States, an initiative dubbed [[GTFO|"Vete a la Chingada de Aquí"]]. In the interim, Mexico is used primarily as a storehouse for drugs, [[guns]], and whores (especially whores). It is also where over [[Statistics|90%]] of Americans dump their shit, making Mexico the garbage dump of the world (just behind [[Detroit]]).
Modern Mexico is <s>in</s> a sad, lulz-less state. In the late 1990s, the ruling [[Nazi|PRI]] government began distributing maps, first-aid kits, and fake IDs to select households to encourage the systematic immigration of the entire populace to the United States, an initiative dubbed [[GTFO|"Vete a la Chingada de Aquí"]]. In the interim, Mexico is used primarily as a storehouse for drugs, [[guns]], and whores (especially whores). It is also where over [[Statistics|90%]] of Americans dump their shit, making Mexico the garbage dump of the world (just behind [[New Jersey]]).
[[File:ElBlogdelNarco.jpg|thumb|An example of peaceful serenity in Mexico, brought to you by [[El Blog del Narco]]]]
[[File:ElBlogdelNarco.jpg|thumb|An example of peaceful serenity in Mexico, brought to you by [[El Blog del Narco]]]]
Illegal immigrants that are apprehended by [[the man]] are invariably [[Banned|sent back]] to Mexico (or [[Meh]]-he-ko, as it is pronounced in their primitive tongue). While many favor this initiative, the resulting <s>labor</s> slave shortage would force whitey to pay the [[Union]]s fair wages for all those jobs typically filled by the Mexican, or actually getting HIS hands dirty with work in the janitorial, landscaping or lunch-serving fields. As we all know that will never happen, U.S. officials currently have a "revolving door" border policy with Mexico, meaning that once deported, illegal immigrants are free to sneak back over when no one is looking (but not when [[noone]] is looking).
Illegal immigrants that are apprehended by [[the man]] are invariably [[Banned|sent back]] to Mexico (or [[Meh]]-he-ko, as it is pronounced in their primitive tongue). While many favor this initiative, the resulting <s>labor</s> slave shortage would force whitey to pay the [[Union]]s fair wages for all those jobs typically filled by the Mexican, or actually getting HIS hands dirty with work in the janitorial, landscaping or lunch-serving fields. As we all know that will never happen, U.S. officials currently have a "revolving door" border policy with Mexico, meaning that once deported, illegal immigrants are free to sneak back over when no one is looking (but not when [[noone]] is looking).


[[Image:Art.heads.in.coolers.jpg‎|thumb|How to win.]]
[[File:Art.heads.in.coolers.jpg‎|thumb|How to win]]


The major [[capitalist|industries]] in Mexico have stepped up to deal with [[poverty]] in their land, though. Last year [[CIA|major drug cartels]], bored with just running shit brick [[weed]] and [[pedophiles|trained professionals]] across the border, wanted to show they cared, so they decided to [[Trolling IRL|sponsor]] ''[[American Idol|Mexican Idol]]'', in which [[over 9,000]] [[Fucktard|contestants]] have to [[Decapitation|chop off]] their competitor's heads and [[pwned|stick them in coolers]]leaving them by the side of the road to show how [[hardcore]] they are. The [[winnar]] who makes it to the end gets an 8ball of [[crack]] and a lifetime [[Assassination|contract]] for [[Sony|making music]] with [[Illuminati|major government officials]].
The major [[capitalist|industries]] in Mexico have stepped up to deal with [[poverty]] in their land, though. Last year [[CIA|major drug cartels]], bored with just running shit brick [[weed]] and [[pedophiles|trained professionals]] across the border, wanted to show they cared, so they decided to [[Trolling IRL|sponsor]] ''[[American Idol|Mexican Idol]]'', in which [[over 9,000]] [[Fucktard|contestants]] have to [[Decapitation|chop off]] their competitor's heads and [[pwned|stick them in coolers]] leaving them by the side of the road to show how [[hardcore]] they are. The [[winnar]] who makes it to the end gets an 8ball of [[crack]] and a lifetime [[Assassination|contract]] for [[Sony|making music]] with [[Illuminati|major government officials]].


==In the Wild==
==In the Wild==
[[File:Dora has boobs.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>No fair.  The Dora on Nickelodeon doesn't have [[Your Mom|Mommy Bags]] like the Mexican Bimbo on the right</center>]]
The wild Mexican is quite an inquisitive creature with an unmatched curiosity and mustache. If you are lucky enough to encounter one of these majestic beasts in the wild, there are certain precautions one must take to ensure their own personal safety.
The wild Mexican is quite an inquisitive creature with an unmatched curiosity and mustache. If you are lucky enough to encounter one of these majestic beasts in the wild, there are certain precautions one must take to ensure their own personal safety.
#Cover up any exposed money or valuables as they WILL try to steal them
#Cover up any exposed money or valuables as they WILL try to steal them
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If these precautions are met, watching these beautiful creatures in their wild habitat can be quite a rewarding hobby (see Borderguard)
If these precautions are met, watching these beautiful creatures in their wild habitat can be quite a rewarding hobby (see Borderguard)
{{ytlink|XSf0ANnAxVE|JBL shows us how its done.}}


==In Captivity==
==In Captivity==
When keeping mexicans as a pet, one must consider if they can actually care for their newfound family member/moustachioed taco receptacle. Mexicans require daily care and attention, such as:
When keeping Mexicans as a pet, one must consider if they can actually care for their newfound family member/moustachioed taco receptacle. Mexicans require daily care and attention, such as:
#Manual Labor
#Manual Labor
#Clean Bedding(yesterday's newspaper will do just fine, dont use anything of value as they will steal it)
#Clean Bedding(yesterday's newspaper will do just fine, dont use anything of value as they will steal it)
#A large place to run about and dig with a high, barb-wired fence, at least 19 feet high. They will jump anything of lesser height and escape
#A large place to run about and dig with a high, barb-wired fence, at least 19 feet high. They will easily jump anything of lesser height and escape.


In the wild, Mexicans eat a wide variety of tortilla/bean/cheese/car part combinations, and they often drink large quantities of bong water and gasoline. When keeping mexicans, it is best to emulate their natural diet as closely as possible. Some recommended foods are:
In the wild, Mexicans eat a wide variety of tortilla/bean/cheese/car part combinations and they often drink large quantities of bong water and gasoline (diesel only, btw). When keeping Mexicans, it is best to emulate their natural diet as closely as possible. Some recommended foods are:
#Motor Oil
#Motor oil
#Chain link fence
#Chain link fence
#tacos
#tacos
#burritos
#burritos
#taquitos
#taquitos
#burraqos
#burraquitos
#and 'dee twenny eench speener reems' Translation: 20 inch spinner rims
#and 'dee twenny eench speener reems' Translation: 20 inch spinner rims
This balanced diet, along with daily exercise(border jumping and ditch digging)will insure that your sweaty little friend is around for many years of fun family entertainment.
This balanced diet, along with daily exercise (border jumping and ditch digging) will ensure that your sweaty little friend is around for many years of fun family entertainment.


==Mexican Inteligence==
==Mexican Intelligence==
"Mexican intelligence" is, in fact, an [[oxymoron]], since the intellect of your average [[Oil#People_With_Oil|Crisco pumper]] falls somewhere between that of a dead [[goatse|goat]] and the lube of said dirty carcass used to insert into its [[In the pooper|butthole]] by his unwashed (and [[smegma|uncircumcised]]) [[schlong]].
"Mexican intelligence" is, in fact, an [[oxymoron]], since the intellect of your average [[Oil#People_With_Oil|Crisco pumper]] falls somewhere between that of a dead [[goatse|goat]] and the lube of said dirty carcass used to insert into its [[In the pooper|butthole]] by his unwashed (and [[smegma|uncircumcised]]) [[schlong]].


[[Scientists]] have speculated that the [[Terri Schiavo|brain dead]] look on a Mexican's face (see picture) is due to a complete lack of the part of the [[human]] [[brain]] responsible for [[Existence|self-awareness]] and [[common sense]]. They all are also politically and [[Nerd|socially behind]].
[[Scientists]] have speculated that the [[Terri Schiavo|brain dead]] look on a Mexican's face (see picture) is due to a complete lack of the part of the [[human]] [[brain]] responsible for [[Existence|self-awareness]] and [[common sense]]. They all are also politically and [[retarded|socially behind]].


Experimentation has revealed that the closest any [[white|other]] [[master race|race]] can come to experiencing what the brain of a [[Carlos Mencia|beaner]] feels like is to be bludgeoned in the head with a lead pipe until delirious and on the fringe of going into a coma. This constant state of [[retard|delirium]] is the reason why Mexico is a [[4chan|shit hole]] and nothing is or can be done right in cities where these members of the Mexican race are a majority.
Experimentation has revealed that the closest any other race can come to experiencing what the brain of a [[Carlos Mencia|spic]] feels like is to be bludgeoned in the head with a lead pipe until delirious and on the fringe of going into a coma. This constant state of [[retard|delirium]] is the reason why Mexico is a [[4chan|shit hole]] and nothing is or can be done right in cities where these members of the Mexican race are a majority.


==Language==
==Language==
[[File:Narcovideo.png|thumb|[[Narcovideo]]s are considered to be Mexico's finest exports to the [[internets]]]]
[[File:Narcovideo.png|thumb|[[Narcovideo]]s are considered to be Mexico's finest exports to the [[internets]]]]
{{quote|[[George W. Bush|Jeb Bush]] is crazy, who cares that he speaks [[Fail|Mexican]], this is [[USA|America]], English !!|Wise words from [[The Donald]]}}
Mexicans speak a bastardised dialect of Spanish loaded with clucking and spattering. Due to their constant use of the sound 'oy' as in [[????|"oy con dios"]], there's big argument over, whether or not they were the [[Totalulz|ORGInal Jews]], which could be easily be proven by the way they [[not|enter the USA]].
Mexicans speak a bastardised dialect of Spanish loaded with clucking and spattering. Due to their constant use of the sound 'oy' as in [[????|"oy con dios"]], there's big argument over, whether or not they were the [[Totalulz|ORGInal Jews]], which could be easily be proven by the way they [[not|enter the USA]].


[[Image:Mexican.jpg|thumb|right|An [[IRL]] Mexican]]
It is said that learning English is important for every enterprising Mexican. Nothing could be further from the truth. As long as a Mexican's English is good enough to understand a few simple phrases, such as "mow lawn" and "leaf blower in garage" and "no money to pay you" and "go home or I call ICE", that is all the English they will ever need.
 
[[Image:Mexican.jpg|thumb|An [[IRL]] Mexican]]


==A mexican illegal alien's wet dream==
[[File:MexicanCrapArt2.jpg|thumb|Mexican "art".]]
<center><youtube>tppe90K9alQ</youtube></center>
[[File:MexicoGunFreeZone.png|thumb|All of Mexico is a "Gun Free" zone due to Mexico's sane and reasonable firearms prohibitions.]]
 
==Literature==
Mexican literature is one of the most prolific and influential of the Spanish language along with the literatures of Spain, Argentina and Cuba. It has internationally recognized authors such as Juan Rulfo, Octavio Paz, Carlos Fuentes, Amado Nervo and several others.
 
Perhaps the most famous and archetypal Mexican poem is the following one-verse work by Octavio Paz, describing the hardships endured by migrant laborers:<br>
 
<strong>Soy Peón</strong><br>
<em>My name it is Pancho.</em><br>
<em>I work on the rancho.</em><br>
<em>I make-a fi pesos a day.</em><br>
<em>At night I see Lucy.</em><br>
<em>She gimme some poosey</em><br>
<em>And take my fi pesos away.</em><br>
 
==A Mexican illegal alien's wet dream==
<youtube>tppe90K9alQ</youtube>
 
==Music==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nortec Nortec]
ALSO:
[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hocico Hocico], [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Amduscia Amduscia] etc.


==How to troll Mexicans==
==How to troll Mexicans==
[[File:Smileforthecamera.png|thumb|These guys are smiling since they realized they were trolled]]
[[File:Sniper riffle spicshoot.jpg|thumb|How to control the flow of illegal spic aliens]]
[[File:Trump-anchor.jpg|thumb|[[Donald Trump|Remind them about deportaion]].]]
[[IRL]]:
[[IRL]]:
#Remind them that they're shorter, [[fugly|fuglier]], and the overall laughing stock of Latin America.
#Remind them that they're shorter, [[fugly|fuglier]], and the overall laughing stock of Latin America.
#Call them "[[Chink|Chicanos]]" (Seriously, they get really angry).
#No, you can't have my aluminum cans
#Confuse them with Guatemalans
#Call them Spics
#Call them "[[Chink|Chicanos]]" (seriously, they get really angry).
#Throw [[Shit|tacos]] at their faces.
#Throw [[Shit|tacos]] at their faces.
#Say that "El Santo" is [[gay]] and deserved to die (Mexican pedo-[[wrestler|wrestling]]).
#Say that "El Santo" is [[gay]] and deserved to die (some Mexican pedo-[[wrestler|wrestling]]).
#Tell them how good it is be legal in a country.   
#Tell them how good it is be legal in a country.   
#Ask why their national soccer team is mostly made of Mexican citizens who are originally from [[Brazil]].
#Ask why their national soccer team is mostly made of Mexican citizens who are originally from [[Brazil]].
#Call Go, Diego, Go! savage for owning a pet Jaguar.
#Call Go, Diego, Go! savage for owning a pet Jaguar.
#Refer to all Mexicans as [[spics]].
#Remind them how [[Argentina]] kicked their ass during the [[2010 World Cup]].
#Remind them how [[Argentina]] kicked their ass during the [[2010 World Cup]].
#[[Paul_the_Psychic_Octopus|Remind them how Spain won the world cup]].
#[[Paul the Psychic Octopus|Remind them how until Spain won the World Cup]].
#Tell them that their soccer team sucks for not getting a World Cup despite having two FIFA's in their shit country.
#Tell them that their soccer team sucks for not getting a World Cup despite having two FIFA's in their shit country.
#Ask them for tips to cross illegally to other countries.
#Ask them for tips to cross illegally to other countries.
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#Say that El Zorro is a ripoff of masochistic supervillain Deathstroke.
#Say that El Zorro is a ripoff of masochistic supervillain Deathstroke.
#Blame them for the Swine Flu.
#Blame them for the Swine Flu.
#Call them stupid; [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=estupido srysly]
#Ask them why abortion isn't included in the Mexican lifestyle.
#Ask them why abortion isn't included in the Mexican lifestyle.
#Ask them why they dress like [[gangsta]] [[nigras]] (fucking cholos).
#Ask them why they dress like [[gangsta]] [[nigras]] (fucking cholos).
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#Tell them Aztec sounds cooler than Mexica.
#Tell them Aztec sounds cooler than Mexica.
#Tell them Halloween is better than Day of the Dead.
#Tell them Halloween is better than Day of the Dead.
#Tell them you support [[Donald Trump]]
#Cheer during the boat scene at the end of [[Mad Mel|Apocalypto]].
#Cheer during the boat scene at the end of [[Mad Mel|Apocalypto]].
#Tell them to go back home and fix their [[Mexico|dirt-poor third-world Nazi-communist hellhole country]] because there is no such thing as "Aztlan" and they'll only get arrested, deported, and/or killed for trespassing on American soil.
#Tell them to go back home and fix their [[Mexico|dirt-poor third-world Nazi-communist hellhole country]] because there is no such thing as "Aztlan" and they'll only get arrested, deported, and/or killed for trespassing on American soil.
#Insult Snow Pea from ''Mucha Lucha'' (this has [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/index.php?title=Mexico&diff=1998717828&oldid=1998716589 recently been proven to work]).
#Insult Snow Pea from ''Mucha Lucha''.
#Inform them that [[fact|71 percent of Mexican women and 66 percent of Mexican men are overweight, and that obesity in Mexico may exceed that of America by 2018]].[http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/health/news/article_1610712.php/Mexico-restricts-junk-food-in-schools-to-fight-obesity]
#Inform them that [[fact|71 percent of Mexican women and 66 percent of Mexican men are overweight, <strike>and that obesity in Mexico may exceed that of America by 2018]].[http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/health/news/article_1610712.php/Mexico-restricts-junk-food-in-schools-to-fight-obesity]</strike> '''Wait a second, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/09/mexico-obesity_n_3567772.html it already has!] HOLY FUCK!'''
 
#[[????]]
#[[????]]
#[[Profit!]]
#[[Profit!]]
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==Beaner Creation Myth==
==Beaner Creation Myth==
[[Image:Bad_father.jpg|thumb|right|A typical Mexican parent and daughter enjoying some typical butt sex.]]
 
[[Image:Bad_father.jpg|thumb|Family bonding as it is done in Mexico]]


Beaners (an honorific term for a Mexican, one that praises the healthy tint of his skin) believe that they are the children of Quetzalcoatl, the Aztec sky and creation [[god]]. The truth, however, is that they are the half-caste product of their parents fucking (and those Mexicans do a lot of fucking, [[amirite]]?).
Beaners (an honorific term for a Mexican, one that praises the healthy tint of his skin) believe that they are the children of Quetzalcoatl, the Aztec sky and creation [[god]]. The truth, however, is that they are the half-caste product of their parents fucking (and those Mexicans do a lot of fucking, [[amirite]]?).
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==[[Zapatistas|E.Z.L.N.]]==
==[[Zapatistas|E.Z.L.N.]]==
[[Image:MexicanPESOS.jpg|thumb|right|Typical Mexican currency.]]
[[Image:foodstamps.jpeg|thumb|National currency of Mexico]]


[[Irl]] trolls, and Mexico's discount version of [[Al Qaeda]]. Known as [[Zapatistas]], they are what you get when you colonize a country but don't kill its Natives ([[South Africa|which is always a bad move]]).
[[Irl]] trolls, and Mexico's discount version of [[Al Qaeda]]. Known as [[Zapatistas]], they are what you get when you colonize a country but don't kill its Natives ([[South Africa|which is always a bad move]]).


==Mexicans are a Fertile People==
==Mexicans are a Fertile People==
[[Image:Mexicanmercedes.jpg|thumb|right|A mexican's dream luxury car.  Only the top 20% of Mexicans living in Mexifornia could afford this beast.]]
[[Image:Mexicanmercedes.jpg|thumb|A mexican's dream luxury car.  Only the top 5% of Mexicans living in Mexifornia could afford this beast.]]
[[Image:Prog_stations_tout.jpg|thumb|right|Voted hottest Mexican couple by [[Perez Hilton|E! News]] from 1940-2009]]
[[Image:Prog_stations_tout.jpg|thumb|Voted hottest Mexican couple by [[Perez Hilton|E! News]] from 1940-2009]]
Mexicans have a proven history of having kids - lots of them, and early. How early? Recently, one in Brazil gave birth at [http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,202601,00.html nine.] (Link to Fox News, well known for its journalistic integrity.) The record, however, was set in 1939, when a [http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/medina.asp five-year, seven-month-old] girl gave birth, meaning she must've gotten bizzay when she was four. When entertaining a Mexican at home, it is always important to first inquire whether or not he or she intends to have sex with you or your children, as (much like the [[Japanese]]), fornication is simply a polite way of saying hello.
Mexicans have a proven history of having kids - lots of them, and early. How early? Recently, one in Brazil gave birth at [http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,202601,00.html nine.] (Link to Fox News, well known for its journalistic integrity.) The record, however, was set in 1939, when a [http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/medina.asp five-year, seven-month-old] girl gave birth, meaning she must've gotten bizzay when she was four. When entertaining a Mexican at home, it is always important to first inquire whether or not he or she intends to have sex with you or your children, as (much like the [[Japanese]]), fornication is simply a polite way of saying hello.


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==People named Jesús==
==People named Jesús==
[[Image:Fat-mexican-bbw.jpg|thumb|right|Typical Mexican chick]]
[[Image:Fat-mexican-bbw.jpg|thumb|Typical Mexican chick]]


You may be surprised to find that in Mexico, there is Jesus. Not the [[Jesus|Jew nailed to the 2x4]], but "[[Doing it wrong|Jesús]]," a common male name. While the two names initially appear similar, note that the Mexican version places a mark above the "u" (the meaning of which continues to puzzle linguists), and that the pronunciation is similar to "HAY-zoos". Some believe this is actually a corruption of "Hey, Zeus" and that the name began as a plea to the thunderbolt-wielding serial rapist from [[Greek]] mythology. Others think "ú" is simply a typo.
You may be surprised to find that in Mexico, there is Jesus. Not the [[Jesus|Jew nailed to the 2x4]], but "[[Doing it wrong|Jesús]]," a common male name. While the two names initially appear similar, note that the Mexican version places a mark above the "u" (the meaning of which continues to puzzle linguists), and that the pronunciation is similar to "HAY-zoos". Some believe this is actually a corruption of "Hey, Zeus" and that the name began as a plea to the thunderbolt-wielding serial rapist from [[Greek]] mythology. Others think "ú" is simply a typo.
Line 160: Line 209:
There's no denying it: there's a whole bunch of corn-loving, crop circle-making [[aliens]] in the U.S. [[Srsly]]. Statistics indicate that Mexicans make up [[true|22.3%]] of the population in the U.S.A., selling taco-flavored kisses to make their way in a country that seems to be [[in the pooper|turning increasingly browner]]...
There's no denying it: there's a whole bunch of corn-loving, crop circle-making [[aliens]] in the U.S. [[Srsly]]. Statistics indicate that Mexicans make up [[true|22.3%]] of the population in the U.S.A., selling taco-flavored kisses to make their way in a country that seems to be [[in the pooper|turning increasingly browner]]...


[[Image:Edward_james_olmos_mexico.jpg|thumb|right|Actor Edward James Olmos celebrates Mexican style.]]
[[Image:Edward_james_olmos_mexico.jpg|thumb|Actor Edward James Olmos celebrates Mexican style.]]
<center>'''A Day in the Life of a Typical Mexican-American'''</center>
'''A Day in the Life of a Typical Mexican-American'''
<center><youtube>dXYh84M-iEM</youtube></center>
<youtube>dXYh84M-iEM</youtube>


[[Image:Mexifornia.jpg|thumb|right|Typical Mexican ID for Mexicans in America before 2009.]]
[[Image:Frida.jpg|thumb|dat eyebrow]]
[[Image:Mexicans Crossing Roadsign.jpg|thumb|right|Mexicans in America before 2009.]]
[[Image:Mexican gay porn.jpeg|thumb|One example of their finest porn]]
[[Image:SwineCrossing.png|thumb|right|Mexicans in America since 2009.]]
[[Image:Mexifornia.jpg|thumb|Typical Mexican ID for Mexicans in America before 2009]]
[[Image:Mexicans Crossing Roadsign.jpg|thumb|A common Mexifornian road sign]]
 
Mexicans are a crossbreed of inferior races, a.k.a. New World Monkeys. That's what happens when you BUTTFUCK Buffalo.


==Mexicans in America 2: The Movie==
==Mexicans in America 2: The Movie==
Once in America, many Mexicans attempt to become more "American." This is variably accomplished by: buying Hollister clothes; celebrating [[Thanksgiving]]; listening to [[Metal]], [[Rap]], or [[Country music]]; [[Mr. Potato Head|always using the word "dude"]]; going to [[Hot Topic]]; [[yes|speaking comprehensible English]]; voting [[Republican]]; joining the [[military]]; and, most importantly, telling all the subsequent illegal Mexicans to "[[LOL WUT|Vete a la Chingada de Aquí mojado.]]" It is [[fact]].
Once in America, many Mexicans attempt to become more "American." This is variably accomplished by: buying Hollister clothes; celebrating [[Thanksgiving]]; listening to [[Metal]], [[Rap]], or [[Country music]]; always using the word "dude" going to [[Hot Topic]]; [[yes|speaking comprehensible English]]; voting [[Republican]]; joining the [[military]]; and, most importantly, telling all the subsequent illegal Mexicans to "[[LOL WUT|Vete a la Chingada de Aquí mojado.]]" It is [[fact]].
<youtube>80EDjTH-V9Y</youtube>


==Mexicans in America 3: The Reality Show==
==Mexicans in America 3: The Reality Show==
America's first choice of music is overwhelmingly (c)[[rap]] (thank you, [[niggers]], [[wiggers]] and [[chiggers]]. [[Your mother]] would be proud). Mexicans often listen to rap to appear "bad ass" and even profess to love it. The problem of not actually understanding English, however, was something of a problem, until enterprising young Mex-Americans created Spanish (or Spanglish) rap. Unfortunately, this is even gayer than original rap. It is in fact so gay that the only thing gayer is French rap, which is humiliatingly gay.
America's first choice of music is overwhelmingly (c)[[rap]] (thank you, [[niggers]], [[wiggers]] and chiggers. [[Your mother]] would be proud). Mexicans often listen to rap to appear "bad ass" and even profess to love it. The problem of not actually understanding English, however, was something of a problem, until enterprising young Mex-Americans created Spanish (or Spanglish) rap. Unfortunately, this is even gayer than original rap. It is in fact so gay that the only thing gayer is French rap, which is humiliatingly gay.


==Mexican Weather==
==Mexican Weather==
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==Absolut Lulz==
==Absolut Lulz==
[[Image:Mexico city.JPG|thumb|right|[[Typical]] Mexican city. Or maybe California. Same thing anywhere there are Mexicans.]]
[[Image:Mexico city.JPG|thumb|[[Typical]] Mexican city. Or maybe California. Same thing anywhere there are Mexicans.]]


[[Image:Absolut vodka ad mexico.jpg|thumb|center|Thank God this was [[fixed]].]]
[[Image:Absolut vodka ad mexico.jpg|thumb|center|Thank God this was [[fixed]].]]
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While the incident was soon forgotten, evidence of this long-ago, brutal skirmish remains on the Internets. On the one side of the Showdown of Stupidity were the fucktards who claimed the ad was disrespectful to Americans and that Absolut was run by a bunch of left-wing [[Terrorism|t'rrist]] supporters; on the other was the equally fucktarded opposition, composed mainly of [[hippies]] and beaners who like to yell about freedom of speech, stolen territory, and all that other shit that people just start to tune out after a while. Below are some links to Absolut-gate, replete with [[drama]], [[lulz]], and [[retardation]].
While the incident was soon forgotten, evidence of this long-ago, brutal skirmish remains on the Internets. On the one side of the Showdown of Stupidity were the fucktards who claimed the ad was disrespectful to Americans and that Absolut was run by a bunch of left-wing [[Terrorism|t'rrist]] supporters; on the other was the equally fucktarded opposition, composed mainly of [[hippies]] and beaners who like to yell about freedom of speech, stolen territory, and all that other shit that people just start to tune out after a while. Below are some links to Absolut-gate, replete with [[drama]], [[lulz]], and [[retardation]].


*[http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080408/us_nm/mexico_absolut_dc News article on the incident.]
* [http://archive.fo/ol16y News article on the incident.]
* [http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/8/Cops-in-Mexico-City-560821.html The Federal Beaner Investigation in action.]


===YouTube===
===YouTube===
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=0Oi7JEObPVA Some <s>senile</s> wise old farts discuss the topic on CNN.]
 
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=UJhjwyX8Mr0 Absolut apologizes]
* {{ytlink|fb_QRjaAkgI|Some <s>senile</s> wise old farts discuss the topic on CNN.}}
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=FDUdFKpH8gM To err is human, to forgive is Un-American.]
* <s>{{ytlink|UJhjwyX8Mr0|Absolut apologizes}}</s>
*[http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/8/Cops-in-Mexico-City-560821.html The Federal Beaner Investigation in action.]
* {{ytlink|M8ch0QHImCk|To err is human, to forgive is Un-American.}}


==Fact of the Day==
==Fact of the Day==
[[Image:Space Seed 2.jpg|thumb|Star Trek [[Khan]]: Lock up your señoritas!]]
[[Image:Space Seed 2.jpg|thumb|Star Trek [[Khan]]: Lock up your señoritas!]]
[[Image:Space Seed 3.jpg|thumb|Star Trek [[Khan]]: TV's first interracial kiss between a Mexican and a [[ginger]].]]
[[Image:Space Seed 3.jpg|thumb|Star Trek [[Khan]]: TV's first interracial kiss between a Mexican and a [[ginger]].]]
 
[[Image:MexicoConquersUSA.jpg|thumb|Status of Mexican influx. Uh-oh.]]
[[Image:MexicoConquersUSA.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Status of Mexican influx. Uh-oh.]]


Villain [[Khan]] from ''[[Star Trek]]'' was in fact a Mexican. ''Trek'' producers were trying to find a really scary [[racism|racial]] stereotype and rejected a [[Viking]], a [[Borg]], and a [[Nazi]] before settling on Khan as we know him today. In the episode "Viva Khaaan!!!!", Khan (real name: Rodolfo Neri Vela [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodolfo_Neri_Vela]) is Mexico's first (and subsequently only) astronaut, who in 1985 steals the Space Shuttle ''[[Atlantis]]'', and then tries to steal the ''Enterprise'' from Jew [[William Shatner|Captain Kirk]] after a three-century [[lazy|siesta]]. In a historical cross-cultural TV [[love]] scene, Khan is permitted to kiss a [[ginger]], an act not repeated until ''[[MILF|Desperate Housewives]]''. In actuality, there are no Mexicans on any of the ''Star Trek'' episodes because, as one could guess, Mexicans don't want to work in the future either.
Villain [[Khan]] from ''[[Star Trek]]'' was in fact a Mexican. ''Trek'' producers were trying to find a really scary [[racism|racial]] stereotype and rejected a [[Viking]], a [[Borg]], and a [[Nazi]] before settling on Khan as we know him today. In the episode "Viva Khaaan!!!!", Khan (real name: Rodolfo Neri Vela [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodolfo_Neri_Vela]) is Mexico's first (and subsequently only) astronaut, who in 1985 steals the Space Shuttle ''[[Atlantis]]'', and then tries to steal the ''Enterprise'' from Jew [[William Shatner|Captain Kirk]] after a three-century [[lazy|siesta]]. In a historical cross-cultural TV [[love]] scene, Khan is permitted to kiss a [[ginger]], an act not repeated until ''[[MILF|Desperate Housewives]]''. In actuality, there are no Mexicans on any of the ''Star Trek'' episodes because, as one could guess, Mexicans don't want to work in the future either.
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Furthermore, there are no Mexican [[Olympic]] teams because any one of them whom are able to run, jump, or swim, are of course illegal immigrants in the United States.
Furthermore, there are no Mexican [[Olympic]] teams because any one of them whom are able to run, jump, or swim, are of course illegal immigrants in the United States.


==Sinco De Mayo==
==Cinco de mayo==
This is a holiday which was invented by the [[Alcohol]] industry as an excuse for Americans to get totally shitfaced while wearing a sombrero. It is loosely based on Mexican history when [[France]], after realizing how pathetic Mexico is and that the water there is not safe for human consumption, called off its imperial pwning in favor of [[Africa|someplace more worthy of conquest]].
This is a holiday which was invented by the [[Alcohol]] industry as an excuse for Americans to get totally shitfaced while wearing a sombrero. It is loosely based on Mexican history when [[France]], after realizing how pathetic Mexico is and that the water there is not safe for human consumption, called off its imperial pwning in favor of [[Africa|someplace more worthy of conquest]].  Actual Mexicans don't particularly give a shit about it, either.


==A Mexican's Career Options==
==A Mexican's Career Options==
* Village idiot
* [[moot|4chan admin]]
* [[moot|4chan admin]]
* Aztec High Priest
* Aztec high priest
* Bandito
* Bassist for [[Metallica]]
* Bassist for [[Metallica]]
* Bullfighter
* Bullfighter
* Burglar (males)
* Catholic priest
* Collector of aluminum, glass, & plastic for cash
* [[Ed Rodriguez|Criminal]]
* [[Ed Rodriguez|Criminal]]
* Day Laborer
* Day laborer
* Donkey Show Star
* Donkey show star
* [[Drug]] Dealer
* [[Drug]] trafficker
* Fruit Vendor
* [[Farm Town|Farmer]] (beans, maize, rice, sugarcane, various fruit, wheat, and/or [[marijuana]])
* [[Sea Kittens|Fisherman]]
* Fruit vendor
* Garbage collector
* Garbage collector
* Gardener
* Gardener
* Gum Salesman
* Gum salesman
* Graffiti [[Bullshit|"Artist"]]
* [[Graffiti]] "artist"
* Home Depot CEO
* Home Depot CEO
* Illegal Immigrant
* Illegal immigrant
* Janitor
* Janitor
* Lazy Assistant to [[White]] High School Spanish Teacher
* Lazy assistant to [[white]] high school Spanish teacher
* Low-budget Cartoon Character
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ibgEek3rpA Lion food.]
* Low-budget cartoon character
* [[Professional Wrestling|Luchador]]
* [[Professional Wrestling|Luchador]]
* [[Midget]]-for-Hire
* Maid
* [[Man]]/[[woman]] who bitches about how great Mexico is and how horrible America is, even if living in America and only occasionally visiting Mexico. This job is taken seriously by the majority of Mexicans.
* [[Midget]]-for-hire
* Narcotraficante
* Nigger's [[Bitch|lackey]]
* Nigger's [[Bitch|lackey]]
* [[Nun]]
* Pancho villa's grave cleaner
* Parent of <s>eighty-three</s> (swine flu) eighty-two children from one women
* [[Pedophile]]
* [[Pedophile]]
* [[Roberto Madrazo's Berlin Marathon Cheat|Politician/Cheater]]  
* Political campaigner for [[Obama|Pedro]]
* Professional Job Thief
* [[Roberto Madrazo's Berlin Marathon Cheat|Politician/cheater]]  
* Roadside Flower Pusher
* Professional job thief
* Ranchero
* [[Rape|Rapist]]
* [[Rape|Rapist]]
* Roadside Windshield Cleaner
* Roadside flower pusher
* [[Man|Guy]]/[[Woman]] who bitches about how great Mexico is and how horrible America is, despite living in America and occasionally visiting Mexico. This Job is taken seriously by the majority of all Mexicans.
* Roadside windshield cleaner
* Soldier
* [[Sailor]]
* [[Army|Soldier]]
* Soldier (dead)
* Soldier (dead)
* [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=396540462 THIS]
* [https://myspace.com/lolo239official THIS]
* [[Carlos_Sousa_Jr|Tiger Feeder]]
* [[Carlos_Sousa_Jr|Tiger feeder]]
* Vote for [[Obama|Pedro]]
* Witch doctor (brujo)
* [[Whore]]  
* [[Whore]] (females and traps)
* Worker at Taco Bell
* Worker at [[Taco Bell]]
* Parent of <s>83</s> (Swine Flu) 82 children from one women


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
{{cg|La Galería|mexicogallery|center|<gallery>
{{cg|La Galería|mexicogallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mexicankid.jpg|A Mexican on a daily basis.
Image:Machete.jpg|[[Fail|A Mexican hero, you just fucked with the wrong Mexican]]
Image:Mexican_border.jpg|Typical Mexican doing what he does best, jumping the border.
Image:Crossing_mexican_border.jpg|Mexicans preparing to steal desirable farm laborer positions.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Siesta.jpg|A Mexican taking a siesta on his luxurious bed of dirt.
Image:SoGangsta.jpg|Typical mexican gangster.  He so gangsta!
Image:Mexicans.jpg|OH NOES!!!
Image:Mexicans.jpg|OH NOES!!!
Image:sol_trujillo.jpg|Spanish-language conversations can only be conducted via wild gesticulation.
Image:Siesta.jpg|A Mexican taking a siesta on his luxurious bed of dirt
Image:DarylCagleMexicanFlag.jpg|¡VIVA MEHEEKO!
File:My body is ready.PNG|Mexican boys are always ready, ese.
Image:Toro.gif|Typical happening
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mexicankid.jpg|A Mexican on a daily basis
File:Mexicanrapistirony.jpg
Image:Mexican_border.jpg|Typical Mexican doing what he does best, jumping the border
Image:Crossing_mexican_border.jpg|Mexicans preparing to steal desirable farm laborer positions
Image:sol_trujillo.jpg|Spanish-language conversations can only be conducted via wild gesticulation
Image:Mexican I Had It All.jpg|Depression is a common problem in Mexico.
Image:Mexican I Had It All.jpg|Depression is a common problem in Mexico.
Image:Beanerpower.jpg|Mexicans would like to fuck [[cunt|Bush]].
Image:Beanerpower.jpg|Mexicans would like to fuck [[cunt|Bush]].
Image:MexicansSwimming.jpg|Typical Mexican swim meet.
Image:MexicansSwimming.jpg|Typical Mexican swim meet
Image:Gay_ranchero.jpg|In Mexico, gay ranchero is the new goth.
Image:Gay_ranchero.jpg|In Mexico, gay ranchero is the new goth.
Image:Typicalbeanerpride.jpg|An ugly beaner showing his pride for his [[shit|country]].
Image:Chapulin.jpg|One of Mexico's two state-sanctioned superheroes (the other being the bee guy).
Image:Chapulin.jpg|One of Mexico's two state-sanctioned superheroes (the other being the bee guy).
Image:SanFernandoValleyfeb162000.gif|If laraza say it is are land, it is are land.
File:Estoy Usando.jpg
File:Ageofconsen2t.png
Image:SanFernandoValleyfeb162000.gif|If La Raza say it is are land, it is are land.
Image:bananamexican.jpg|It is delicious Mexican culture, you must eat it.
Image:bananamexican.jpg|It is delicious Mexican culture, you must eat it.
Image:Mexican.png|Mexican cheerleader showing her school spirit.
Image:Mexican.png|Mexican cheerleader showing her school spirit
Image:Gayerthangay.jpg|PedroBear.
Image:Gayerthangay.jpg|[[Pedobear|PedroBear]]
Image:Mexiho.jpg|A gay Mexican.
Image:Mexiho.jpg|A [[fag|gay]] Mexican
Image:Tikal.jpg|Mexican [[furry]].
Image:Tikal.jpg|Mexican [[furry]]
Image:Mexicans Mexicanpres.jpg|El señor [[Bush]] addressing his "vatos" regarding  Mexican immigration.
Image:Mexicans Mexicanpres.jpg|El señor [[Bush]] addressing his "vatos" regarding  Mexican immigration
Image:mspresident.jpeg|La señora Bush shows her deep cultural ties to the Mexicans.
Image:mspresident.jpeg|La señora Bush shows her deep cultural ties to the Mexicans
Image:Sharpies.jpg|Look closely to see that the average Mexican girl tends to shave her eyebrows.  
Image:Sharpies.jpg|Look closely to see that the average Mexican girl tends to shave her eyebrows.  
Image:Bgangsta.jpg|Typical Mexican investment banker.
Image:Bgangsta.jpg|Typical Mexican investment banker
File:Neverquitanempire.jpg
Image:Bgangstafixed.jpg|Fixed
Image:Bgangstafixed.jpg|Fixed
Image:typical_euromexicans.jpg|Some Spanish Mexicans take a break from bull-slaughtering to inspect a set of genitals.
Image:typical_euromexicans.jpg|Some Spanish Mexicans take a break from bull-slaughtering to inspect a set of genitals.
Image:Manueluribe.jpg|A thin Mexican woman.
File:Mexicancuisine.jpg
Image:Mexicunts.JPG|Typical photo of random Mexicans.
Image:Manueluribe.jpg|A thin Mexican woman
File:Trumpdivide.jpg
File:Scumbagmexican.jpg
File:Mexicanflag.jpg
Image:Mexicunts.JPG|Typical photo of random Mexicans
[[Image:Mexifornia.jpg|California is now officially known as "Mexifornia".
[[Image:Mexifornia.jpg|California is now officially known as "Mexifornia".
Image:Mexican_baby.jpg|Typical mexican baby .
Image:Mexican_baby.jpg|Typical Mexican baby
Image:Speedy.gif|A national hero.
Image:Speedy.gif|[[An Hero|A national hero]]
File:Yourethejuanthatiwant.png|Some American women think Mexicans are sexy.
File:Samuel Jackson English.jpg|Now on sale
File:Silvermedal.jpg|It's not a competition.
File:Chel.jpg|Mexican clothing
File:Samuel Jackson English.jpg|Now on sale.
File:Chel.jpg|Mexican clothing.
File:Ludicolo.png|Wild Mexican appears!
File:Ludicolo.png|Wild Mexican appears!
File:Macarena_dance.jpg|A dance actually invented by Mexicans, on accident, while taking a break from picking cabbage.
File:Macarena_dance.jpg|A dance actually invented by Mexicans, on accident, while taking a break from picking cabbage.
Image:Obama Mexican.jpg|[[Obama]]'s immigration policy
Image:Obama Mexican.jpg|[[Obama]]'s immigration policy
Image:DarylCagleMexicanFlag.jpg|¡VIVA MEHEEKO!
File:No more churos.jpg
File:Mexican Swat.gif
File:Mexican Protester Sets Himself On Fire.gif
File:Illegalsout.png
File:Mexico.jpg
File:Whitegenocide58234832.png
File:Whitegenocide818232.png
File:Whitegenocide86812312.png
File:Whitegenocide818318231.png
File:Mexicans and Sharpies (1).jpeg
File:1 of 3 Mexicans are on welfare.gif
  </gallery>}}
  </gallery>}}
== FUN FACT ==
In the Coac-HELLA music fest, 100000 white kids show up and 99% of the town's population works for "Free". But the good side is Mexicans smoke weed and willing to give you a joint, "my friend".


==Videos==
==Videos==
<youtube>CEhaDAxUqJE</youtube><br>
If you are a drug cartel thug and get caught by your rivals... well... you get a surprise! :-)


==See Also==
Happy After Robbing a House
*[[Mootxico]]
 
*[[Gb2]]
<youtube>7Rfgqn2HguM</youtube><br>
*[[Lazy]]
Sophisticated Mexican Dancing.
*[[Alcohol]]
Monday at two in the morning. Trust me you do NOT want this people as neighbors !
*[[Drugs]]
<youtube>9fMSZh2mglM</youtube><br>
*[[Narcovideo]]
Typical Mexican Dancing Shoes.
*[[El Blog del Narco]]
These are fucking retarded like every other fashion craze in the world.
*[[Inciclopedia]]
*[[Poop.mov]]
*[[Spics]]
*[[Murder]]
*[[Rape]]
*[[Pedophilia]]
*[[User:Ivanflr]]
*[[User:Kombucha]]
*[[California]]
*[[Arizona]]
*[[Roberto Madrazo's Berlin Marathon Cheat]]
*[[Mexican AIDS]]
*[[Kosovo]]
*[[Pakis]] (The [[Britfag]] equivalent of Mexicans.)
*[[Manuel Uribe]]


==External Links==
==See also==
* [[:File:Chili.wmv|Authentic Mexican food]]
 
* [http://www.resist.com/other/border_patrol.swf Best video game ever.]
* [[Idiot]]
* [http://aztlan.net/racist_anti-mexican_game.htm lol Mexicans]
* [[Poverty]]
* [http://www.angelfire.com/rebellion2/nabonagaoda/Mexicans.html Some Mexicans deserve to be shot.]
* [[Political corruption]]
* [[WTF]], the acronym you say when you first arrive in Mexico.
* [[Suicide]], Mexicans' common practice in all areas.
* [[Retard]]
* [[Reconquista]] Mexican idea that they can retake the South West United States.
* [[Troll]], what their government is 100% made up of.
* [[Catholics]], 10 babies per minute because they don't know hoe to put a fucking [[sex|condom]] on.
* [[Albania]], a country like Mexico only with [[white people]] instead of spics.
* [[Alcohol]]
* [[Arizona]], a place filled with [[oldfags|old white people]] that "Mexicans" are trying to take over so they can rape all the old white [[women]].
* [[California]], notorious for its high Mexican population.
* [[Cheat]]
* [[drugs|Drug trafficking]], what many Mexicans are engaged in as they go about their daily lives.
* [[El Blog del Narco]], a [[Sarcasm|pleasurable blog for eyes]].
* [[Gb2]]
* [[Inciclopedia]]
* [[Lazy]], what many Mexicans are. No wonder they're so fat.
* [[Manuel Uribe]]
* [[Mexican AIDS]]
* [[Mini Daddy]]
* [[Mootxico]]
* [[Murder]]
* [[Narcovideo]]
* [[Pakis]], the [[Britfag]] equivalent of Mexicans.
* [[Palestine]]
* [[Rape]], Mexico's national sport.
* [[Roberto Madrazo's Berlin Marathon Cheat]]
* [[SaturnDOS]] - One of the most [[Pathetic|pathetic]] [[Trolls|trolls]] in internet history.
* [[Spics]], another word for dirty Mexicans.
* [[Adalia Rose]]
* [[Doomentio]]
* [[Donald Trump]] (worst enemy)
* [[PlutonicClown]]
* [[Mi Vida Bajo El Puente]]
* [[ElAntiCristo2007]]
* [[Juan Luis Lagunas Rosales]]
 
 
==External links==
* [http://swfchan.com/1/1416/?border_patrol.swf Best video game ever.]
* {{yt|u|DannyNoriega|Some Illegal Mexican Faggot}}
* [http://www.flashrolls.com/shooting-games/Border-Patrol-Flash-Game.htm lol Mexicans]
* [http://archive.fo/YKRkm Some Mexicans deserve to be shot.]
* [http://www.whitehouse.org/espanol.asp The First Lady welcomes Mexican Immigrants on the official Page of the White House.]
* [http://www.whitehouse.org/espanol.asp The First Lady welcomes Mexican Immigrants on the official Page of the White House.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU Typical Mexican Video]
* {{ytlink|oHg5SJYRHA0|Typical Mexican Video}}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kcprUAq6YQ ''Illegal Alien Vs. Predator'']
* {{ytlink|e4WWc2PkcVc|''Illegal Alien Vs. Predator''}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104815 ''El Mariachi'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104815 ''El Mariachi'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112851 ''Desperado'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112851 ''Desperado'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285823 ''Once Upon a Time in Mexico'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285823 ''Once Upon a Time in Mexico'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0985694 ''You just fucked with the wrong Mexican'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0985694 ''You just fucked with the wrong Mexican'']
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UmFatrX1b0 ''Mexicans trying to get away from the Border Patrol'']
* {{ytlink|aymLjB3Ny60|''Mexicans trying to get away from the Border Patrol''}}
* [http://www.mexicanjokes.net/ ''Juan,Carlos,and Antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins? Society.'']
* [http://www.mexicanjokes.net/ ''Juan,Carlos,and Antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins? Society.'']
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EY68UUx9IY Fat Mexican]
* {{ytlink|_EY68UUx9IY|Fat Mexican}}
 
 
{{Commonwealth}}
{{Commonwealth}}
{{Timeline|Featured article August 22, [[2006]]|[[Nathanr]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Gorgeous George]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article August 22, [[2006]]|[[Nathanr]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Gorgeous George]]}}
[[Category:Locations]]
{{Timeline|Featured article December 16 & December 17, [[2011]]|[[Dragon Ball Z]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Needledrop]]}}
 
[[Category:Countries]]
 
{{timeline|Article of the Now May 7 & 8 [[2023]]|[[Comic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Nigger (Dog)]]}}
 
{{timeline|[[ED:AOTN|Featured Article]] May 5 & 6, [[2024]]|[[American Airlines Flight 63]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}
 
{{timeline|Featured article June 30 & July 1, [[2024]]|[[WikiLeaks]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[America]]}}

Latest revision as of 16:25, 2 November 2024

GOT PERMABANNED BY THE NEW US PRESIDENT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL





WARNING:

With Spics,
Do not mix!


Oh noes, the Spics took over America!
"This is how you get people to look up at you, in Meheeko."
Google hates Mexicans, and rightfully so.
Mexicans contribute greatly to the US economy. Great hiring Pep Boys.
IRL all Mexican girls are butt-ugly, smelly fat whores.

Mexico (mex as in "Mexs" to shout out at a Mexican - - jee as in HI pronounced "he" since it's Spanish -ko as in Cocaine) is a giant contaminated drug lab full of illegal immigrants, chili peppers, government oppression, massive fucking drug wars, dealers, whores, corruption, tequila, factories, jumping beans, blindingly quick mice, sombreros, tacos, and of course, the filthy Spics. The entire continent of Central and South America could actually be considered Mexican since they're all just fucking brown beaners amirite? Mexico is currently in contention with Africa, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Ukraine and the Balkans for the title of the Biggest Shithole on Earth. At present, what remains of Mexico is a failed state ruled by an Oligarchy and one of the world's most dangerous Mafias that governs (is suspected to be CIA).

History

The fact that eludes most low-IQ spics
Mexico today
Typical Mexican schoolgirls
Typical Mexican sport, which centers around animal abuse
Pictured: An average Mexican family on its weekly outing to the local church.
In Soviet Russia, aliens deport YOU!
If beaners did the holocaust

The first civilizations in Mexico, the Mayans, were the result of sick fuck star-gods trolling the timber niggers by teaching them human sacrifice, up to and including self-cutting, acrotomophilia and cannibalism. The Injuns must continue to murderfuck each other in the most lulzy ways possible for the gods' entertainment, or else they will destroy the world in 2012 (which never happened). The Mayans invented football, but their original concept was that if somebody lost he would be flayed alive and tortured to death as a sacrifice to God. Then the Mayans were replaced by the Aztecs who were ten tines worse as they literally sacrificed thousands of their enslaved victims by cutting them open ala surgery without anaesthesia and then dragging their heart out to the Sun while alive and beating (even the most sick Japanese couldn't compete with Aztec religious practice) but their reign ended when in the 16th century Spain tested out their first prototype of Plague Inc by bombarding the Aztecs with the lethal bioweapon smallpox. They got replaced with free labor from Africa and the East Indies, hence the reason why some Mexicans appear blacker.

The Mayans kept their own land for the next 170 years (and live there still, kidnapping the odd tourist and gibbering about the glory of human sacrifice). The Mayans like to think of themselves as pretty cool guys, but really it was the Aztecs that had all the gold, while all the Mayans had was chocolate and a bunch of boring het slashfic about their chicken serpent god Quetzalcoatl, which by the way the god Xiuhcoatl would have pwned anyways. (cause it's got an 'X' in the name and everyone knows the letter 'X' makes everything cooler)

The term "Mexican" is also used by people who want to save time and effort memorizing worthless countries like Guatemala, Honduras, Colombia, Venezuela, and Nicaragua but not Brazil since its nigger/trap/aids population makes it undesirable for anyone. The origin of the name "Mexican" has been suggested to be derived from Mextli or Mēxihtli, a secret name for the god of war and patron of the Aztecs, Huitzilopitchli, in which case Mēxihco means "Place where Mēxihtli lives."

In the 19th century, Mexico's Government was pwned out of Texas by crazy rednecks who later gave it as a gift to the United States. It was during this period that the U.S. accidentally captured New Mexico, which the U.S. has unsuccessfully been trying to give back for 150 years.

Modern Mexicans are a strange race, a mix of mediterranean european, native Mexican tribes, random immigrants (people actually immigrate TO Mexico, SRSLY, and a drop of nigger. Hierarchically they fall somewhere between black folk and the wiggers in terms of cultural, social, political and technological sophistication. They are not skilled at very many things but in those things in which they are, include such vital activities as mowing your lawn, taking out your trash, cleaning your toilets and sweeping your streets. Hence their value to society must not be underestimated.

While there have been few examples of Mexican celebrities finding overseas success, prominent Mexican citizen Chupacabra enjoyed brief fame in 1991. And of course, there's always Ricardo Montalban. Other famed celebrity personalities include George Lopez, Che Guevara (actually "white" argentinian), Salma Hayek and The Most Interesting Man In The World. The main exports of Mexico include beer, firearms, drugs but mainly illegal immigrants.

Last Thursday, Mexico became the birth place of swine flu. This occurred when Mexicans unintentionally contracted the strain by partaking in their favorite weekly activity of pig fucking. And thus inadvertently further demonstrated how Mexico really is the shittiest filthy place in the world. 100 beaners died and lulz were had when the Mexican Government started closing fucking everything to prevent it from spreading, after which they infected over 9,000 eurofags, and a few Jews, and had it spread from Russia to Peru to Canada to Israel. Of course none of this would have happened if you had not gone to Mexico for Spring Break, dumbass.

Typical reaction from reading a wikipedia article about Mexican holidays

Present

El Blog del Narco has great examples of modern day Mexican cuisine

Modern Mexico is in a sad, lulz-less state. In the late 1990s, the ruling PRI government began distributing maps, first-aid kits, and fake IDs to select households to encourage the systematic immigration of the entire populace to the United States, an initiative dubbed "Vete a la Chingada de Aquí". In the interim, Mexico is used primarily as a storehouse for drugs, guns, and whores (especially whores). It is also where over 90% of Americans dump their shit, making Mexico the garbage dump of the world (just behind New Jersey).

An example of peaceful serenity in Mexico, brought to you by El Blog del Narco

Illegal immigrants that are apprehended by the man are invariably sent back to Mexico (or Meh-he-ko, as it is pronounced in their primitive tongue). While many favor this initiative, the resulting labor slave shortage would force whitey to pay the Unions fair wages for all those jobs typically filled by the Mexican, or actually getting HIS hands dirty with work in the janitorial, landscaping or lunch-serving fields. As we all know that will never happen, U.S. officials currently have a "revolving door" border policy with Mexico, meaning that once deported, illegal immigrants are free to sneak back over when no one is looking (but not when noone is looking).

How to win

The major industries in Mexico have stepped up to deal with poverty in their land, though. Last year major drug cartels, bored with just running shit brick weed and trained professionals across the border, wanted to show they cared, so they decided to sponsor Mexican Idol, in which over 9,000 contestants have to chop off their competitor's heads and stick them in coolers leaving them by the side of the road to show how hardcore they are. The winnar who makes it to the end gets an 8ball of crack and a lifetime contract for making music with major government officials.

In the Wild

No fair. The Dora on Nickelodeon doesn't have Mommy Bags like the Mexican Bimbo on the right

The wild Mexican is quite an inquisitive creature with an unmatched curiosity and mustache. If you are lucky enough to encounter one of these majestic beasts in the wild, there are certain precautions one must take to ensure their own personal safety.

  1. Cover up any exposed money or valuables as they WILL try to steal them
  2. Avoid looking directly into their mustache as it may cause temporary paralysis and a severe case of diarrhea
  3. Do not offer them any food, they have a very sensitive stomach that will only accept certain substances (see below)

If these precautions are met, watching these beautiful creatures in their wild habitat can be quite a rewarding hobby (see Borderguard)

JBL shows us how its done.

In Captivity

When keeping Mexicans as a pet, one must consider if they can actually care for their newfound family member/moustachioed taco receptacle. Mexicans require daily care and attention, such as:

  1. Manual Labor
  2. Clean Bedding(yesterday's newspaper will do just fine, dont use anything of value as they will steal it)
  3. A large place to run about and dig with a high, barb-wired fence, at least 19 feet high. They will easily jump anything of lesser height and escape.

In the wild, Mexicans eat a wide variety of tortilla/bean/cheese/car part combinations and they often drink large quantities of bong water and gasoline (diesel only, btw). When keeping Mexicans, it is best to emulate their natural diet as closely as possible. Some recommended foods are:

  1. Motor oil
  2. Chain link fence
  3. tacos
  4. burritos
  5. taquitos
  6. burraquitos
  7. and 'dee twenny eench speener reems' Translation: 20 inch spinner rims

This balanced diet, along with daily exercise (border jumping and ditch digging) will ensure that your sweaty little friend is around for many years of fun family entertainment.

Mexican Intelligence

"Mexican intelligence" is, in fact, an oxymoron, since the intellect of your average Crisco pumper falls somewhere between that of a dead goat and the lube of said dirty carcass used to insert into its butthole by his unwashed (and uncircumcised) schlong.

Scientists have speculated that the brain dead look on a Mexican's face (see picture) is due to a complete lack of the part of the human brain responsible for self-awareness and common sense. They all are also politically and socially behind.

Experimentation has revealed that the closest any other race can come to experiencing what the brain of a spic feels like is to be bludgeoned in the head with a lead pipe until delirious and on the fringe of going into a coma. This constant state of delirium is the reason why Mexico is a shit hole and nothing is or can be done right in cities where these members of the Mexican race are a majority.

Language

Narcovideos are considered to be Mexico's finest exports to the internets
   
 
Jeb Bush is crazy, who cares that he speaks Mexican, this is America, English !!
 

 
 

—Wise words from The Donald

Mexicans speak a bastardised dialect of Spanish loaded with clucking and spattering. Due to their constant use of the sound 'oy' as in "oy con dios", there's big argument over, whether or not they were the ORGInal Jews, which could be easily be proven by the way they enter the USA.

It is said that learning English is important for every enterprising Mexican. Nothing could be further from the truth. As long as a Mexican's English is good enough to understand a few simple phrases, such as "mow lawn" and "leaf blower in garage" and "no money to pay you" and "go home or I call ICE", that is all the English they will ever need.

An IRL Mexican
Mexican "art".
All of Mexico is a "Gun Free" zone due to Mexico's sane and reasonable firearms prohibitions.

Literature

Mexican literature is one of the most prolific and influential of the Spanish language along with the literatures of Spain, Argentina and Cuba. It has internationally recognized authors such as Juan Rulfo, Octavio Paz, Carlos Fuentes, Amado Nervo and several others.

Perhaps the most famous and archetypal Mexican poem is the following one-verse work by Octavio Paz, describing the hardships endured by migrant laborers:

Soy Peón
My name it is Pancho.
I work on the rancho.
I make-a fi pesos a day.
At night I see Lucy.
She gimme some poosey
And take my fi pesos away.

A Mexican illegal alien's wet dream

Music

Nortec ALSO: Hocico, Amduscia etc.

How to troll Mexicans

These guys are smiling since they realized they were trolled
How to control the flow of illegal spic aliens
Remind them about deportaion.

IRL:

  1. Remind them that they're shorter, fuglier, and the overall laughing stock of Latin America.
  2. No, you can't have my aluminum cans
  3. Confuse them with Guatemalans
  4. Call them Spics
  5. Call them "Chicanos" (seriously, they get really angry).
  6. Throw tacos at their faces.
  7. Say that "El Santo" is gay and deserved to die (some Mexican pedo-wrestling).
  8. Tell them how good it is be legal in a country.
  9. Ask why their national soccer team is mostly made of Mexican citizens who are originally from Brazil.
  10. Call Go, Diego, Go! savage for owning a pet Jaguar.
  11. Refer to all Mexicans as spics.
  12. Remind them how Argentina kicked their ass during the 2010 World Cup.
  13. Remind them how until Spain won the World Cup.
  14. Tell them that their soccer team sucks for not getting a World Cup despite having two FIFA's in their shit country.
  15. Ask them for tips to cross illegally to other countries.
  16. Tell them to zerg rush another country.
  17. Say that El Zorro is a ripoff of masochistic supervillain Deathstroke.
  18. Blame them for the Swine Flu.
  19. Call them stupid; srysly
  20. Ask them why abortion isn't included in the Mexican lifestyle.
  21. Ask them why they dress like gangsta nigras (fucking cholos).
  22. Call Mayan noses unattractive.
  23. Tell them to go fold a taco.
  24. Tell them how great a hero Cortés was.
  25. Tell them Spanish dubs are better than theirs.
  26. (and consequently) Say that Spain can re-pwn them any day they want.
  27. Tell them that Cesar Chavez was against illegal immigration and any guest-worker program.
  28. Tell them that Che Guevara hated Mexicans.
  29. Insist that Olmecs were Blacks, Chinese, or Aliens.
  30. Insist that the few white people in Mexico are more Mexican than any wannabe-Mexican anchor beaners in the States.
  31. Ask why they are so obsessed with Jeffrey Dahmer.
  32. Praise Jacks Black's Mexican accent in Nacho Libre.
  33. Say that Adal Ramones is funnier than Brozo, Andres Bustamante or any other moderately good Mexican comedian. If you don't know who the hell Adal is, then do the same thing but instead mention George Lopez.
  34. Insist that Pancho Villa got owned by Americunts.
  35. Grow your own drugs and sue them for copyright.
  36. Tell them that China is (still) kicking their asses with the population stats (but not for long).
  37. Tell them Aztec sounds cooler than Mexica.
  38. Tell them Halloween is better than Day of the Dead.
  39. Tell them you support Donald Trump
  40. Cheer during the boat scene at the end of Apocalypto.
  41. Tell them to go back home and fix their dirt-poor third-world Nazi-communist hellhole country because there is no such thing as "Aztlan" and they'll only get arrested, deported, and/or killed for trespassing on American soil.
  42. Insult Snow Pea from Mucha Lucha.
  43. Inform them that 71 percent of Mexican women and 66 percent of Mexican men are overweight, and that obesity in Mexico may exceed that of America by 2018.[1] Wait a second, it already has! HOLY FUCK!
  1. ????
  2. Profit!

Avoiding being trolled by them

DO NOT fucking eat anything cooked by Mexicans, or you will regret it.

Beaner Creation Myth

Family bonding as it is done in Mexico

Beaners (an honorific term for a Mexican, one that praises the healthy tint of his skin) believe that they are the children of Quetzalcoatl, the Aztec sky and creation god. The truth, however, is that they are the half-caste product of their parents fucking (and those Mexicans do a lot of fucking, amirite?).

Many of these so-called "light-skinned" or "mixed race indigenous Mexica Azteca" nurture socially unacceptable feelings regarding Spain's colonial past, believing that the Conquistadors destroyed their cultural heritage, but what they ultimately fail to realize is that they are the descendants of those sexually uninhibited ex-cons, not the people currently living on that faraway peninsula.

E.Z.L.N.

National currency of Mexico

Irl trolls, and Mexico's discount version of Al Qaeda. Known as Zapatistas, they are what you get when you colonize a country but don't kill its Natives (which is always a bad move).

Mexicans are a Fertile People

A mexican's dream luxury car. Only the top 5% of Mexicans living in Mexifornia could afford this beast.
Voted hottest Mexican couple by E! News from 1940-2009

Mexicans have a proven history of having kids - lots of them, and early. How early? Recently, one in Brazil gave birth at nine. (Link to Fox News, well known for its journalistic integrity.) The record, however, was set in 1939, when a five-year, seven-month-old girl gave birth, meaning she must've gotten bizzay when she was four. When entertaining a Mexican at home, it is always important to first inquire whether or not he or she intends to have sex with you or your children, as (much like the Japanese), fornication is simply a polite way of saying hello.

It is safe to assume that all Mexican women you meet are pregnant. For each child they shit out, the US government pays them an extra $250 in addition to their food coupons, which subsequently gets stolen by a lazy, welfare-leeching niggra.

People named Jesús

Typical Mexican chick

You may be surprised to find that in Mexico, there is Jesus. Not the Jew nailed to the 2x4, but "Jesús," a common male name. While the two names initially appear similar, note that the Mexican version places a mark above the "u" (the meaning of which continues to puzzle linguists), and that the pronunciation is similar to "HAY-zoos". Some believe this is actually a corruption of "Hey, Zeus" and that the name began as a plea to the thunderbolt-wielding serial rapist from Greek mythology. Others think "ú" is simply a typo.

Mexicans in America

There's no denying it: there's a whole bunch of corn-loving, crop circle-making aliens in the U.S. Srsly. Statistics indicate that Mexicans make up 22.3% of the population in the U.S.A., selling taco-flavored kisses to make their way in a country that seems to be turning increasingly browner...

Actor Edward James Olmos celebrates Mexican style.

A Day in the Life of a Typical Mexican-American

dat eyebrow
One example of their finest porn
Typical Mexican ID for Mexicans in America before 2009
A common Mexifornian road sign

Mexicans are a crossbreed of inferior races, a.k.a. New World Monkeys. That's what happens when you BUTTFUCK Buffalo.

Mexicans in America 2: The Movie

Once in America, many Mexicans attempt to become more "American." This is variably accomplished by: buying Hollister clothes; celebrating Thanksgiving; listening to Metal, Rap, or Country music; always using the word "dude" going to Hot Topic; speaking comprehensible English; voting Republican; joining the military; and, most importantly, telling all the subsequent illegal Mexicans to "Vete a la Chingada de Aquí mojado." It is fact.

Mexicans in America 3: The Reality Show

America's first choice of music is overwhelmingly (c)rap (thank you, niggers, wiggers and chiggers. Your mother would be proud). Mexicans often listen to rap to appear "bad ass" and even profess to love it. The problem of not actually understanding English, however, was something of a problem, until enterprising young Mex-Americans created Spanish (or Spanglish) rap. Unfortunately, this is even gayer than original rap. It is in fact so gay that the only thing gayer is French rap, which is humiliatingly gay.

Mexican Weather

As a direct result of all the lawnmowers being produced in factories across Mexico, the weather is usually hot and dry. However, the vast number of Taco Bells provide a cool shade, as well as a welcome darkness for half of Mexico's population to have sex and/or rape in privacy. The other half, of course, are the ones being raped.

Roof Dwellers

The expensive (and motherfucking slow) tubes from Mexico[2] are affordable only by the richest of ricos. They also have basement dwellers, but since the weather is hot as Hell (literally) and every top tier Mexican house has at least one abandoned room near the roof for domestic workers, Mexican "basement dwellers" move to the roof where they do the same crazy shit as their counterparts everywhere else.

How to Mexico

  1. Flee your gang-infested country because it is so dangerous.
  2. Do not assimilate into new country's culture and force them to adapt to your fat ass.
  3. Reproduce at the rate of cockroaches and burden social welfare system until it collapses.
  4. Purposefully mold your new community into a replica of the place that you fled!
  5. Eat beans and have more babies.

Absolut Lulz

Typical Mexican city. Or maybe California. Same thing anywhere there are Mexicans.
Thank God this was fixed.

Recently, the Swedish vodka company "Absolut" ran a controversial magazine/billboard ad in which they displayed a map of the borders of the United States and Mexico in the early 1800s prior to Anglo-American conquest. On top of this map was the caption "In an Absolut World", with a bottle of vodka sitting in the corner. What this has to do with alcohol is beyond anyone's imagination, but it's not like commercials ever try to make sense, anyway. Like pussies, Absolut only ran the ad in Mexico, but enterprising Americans found out about it and immediately felt butthurt, demanding that the ad be pulled from circuit. Absolut, feeling both public pressure and troll's remorse, yanked the ad like the faggots they are. They did this mainly because they didn't want to lose their American market, which is much more important to them (silly Absolut - the Mexican's drink is Tequila.)

While the incident was soon forgotten, evidence of this long-ago, brutal skirmish remains on the Internets. On the one side of the Showdown of Stupidity were the fucktards who claimed the ad was disrespectful to Americans and that Absolut was run by a bunch of left-wing t'rrist supporters; on the other was the equally fucktarded opposition, composed mainly of hippies and beaners who like to yell about freedom of speech, stolen territory, and all that other shit that people just start to tune out after a while. Below are some links to Absolut-gate, replete with drama, lulz, and retardation.

YouTube

Fact of the Day

Star Trek Khan: Lock up your señoritas!
Star Trek Khan: TV's first interracial kiss between a Mexican and a ginger.
Status of Mexican influx. Uh-oh.

Villain Khan from Star Trek was in fact a Mexican. Trek producers were trying to find a really scary racial stereotype and rejected a Viking, a Borg, and a Nazi before settling on Khan as we know him today. In the episode "Viva Khaaan!!!!", Khan (real name: Rodolfo Neri Vela [3]) is Mexico's first (and subsequently only) astronaut, who in 1985 steals the Space Shuttle Atlantis, and then tries to steal the Enterprise from Jew Captain Kirk after a three-century siesta. In a historical cross-cultural TV love scene, Khan is permitted to kiss a ginger, an act not repeated until Desperate Housewives. In actuality, there are no Mexicans on any of the Star Trek episodes because, as one could guess, Mexicans don't want to work in the future either.

Furthermore, there are no Mexican Olympic teams because any one of them whom are able to run, jump, or swim, are of course illegal immigrants in the United States.

Cinco de mayo

This is a holiday which was invented by the Alcohol industry as an excuse for Americans to get totally shitfaced while wearing a sombrero. It is loosely based on Mexican history when France, after realizing how pathetic Mexico is and that the water there is not safe for human consumption, called off its imperial pwning in favor of someplace more worthy of conquest. Actual Mexicans don't particularly give a shit about it, either.

A Mexican's Career Options

  • Village idiot
  • 4chan admin
  • Aztec high priest
  • Bandito
  • Bassist for Metallica
  • Bullfighter
  • Burglar (males)
  • Catholic priest
  • Collector of aluminum, glass, & plastic for cash
  • Criminal
  • Day laborer
  • Donkey show star
  • Drug trafficker
  • Farmer (beans, maize, rice, sugarcane, various fruit, wheat, and/or marijuana)
  • Fisherman
  • Fruit vendor
  • Garbage collector
  • Gardener
  • Gum salesman
  • Graffiti "artist"
  • Home Depot CEO
  • Illegal immigrant
  • Janitor
  • Lazy assistant to white high school Spanish teacher
  • Lion food.
  • Low-budget cartoon character
  • Luchador
  • Maid
  • Man/woman who bitches about how great Mexico is and how horrible America is, even if living in America and only occasionally visiting Mexico. This job is taken seriously by the majority of Mexicans.
  • Midget-for-hire
  • Narcotraficante
  • Nigger's lackey
  • Nun
  • Pancho villa's grave cleaner
  • Parent of eighty-three (swine flu) eighty-two children from one women
  • Pedophile
  • Political campaigner for Pedro
  • Politician/cheater
  • Professional job thief
  • Ranchero
  • Rapist
  • Roadside flower pusher
  • Roadside windshield cleaner
  • Sailor
  • Soldier
  • Soldier (dead)
  • THIS
  • Tiger feeder
  • Witch doctor (brujo)
  • Whore (females and traps)
  • Worker at Taco Bell

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

FUN FACT

In the Coac-HELLA music fest, 100000 white kids show up and 99% of the town's population works for "Free". But the good side is Mexicans smoke weed and willing to give you a joint, "my friend".

Videos

Happy After Robbing a House


Sophisticated Mexican Dancing. Monday at two in the morning. Trust me you do NOT want this people as neighbors !


Typical Mexican Dancing Shoes. These are fucking retarded like every other fashion craze in the world.

See also


External links


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