Atlantis

The Lost Continent of Moar

The Bahamas Atlantis as described by Plato.

According to moar recent research Atlantis could be:

1. New Orleans
2. The oldest Space Shuttle in the world except for Enterprise and Discovery, and Challenger and Columbia, except the last two crashed and so they don’t count.
3. A Stargate spinoff starring Amanda Wenk.
4. A tropical resort and hotel in the Bahamas featuring a large marine habitat, marina, Marine Girl, some water attractions, a spa, a casino, and a large conference center (according to the Google).
5. A level in the computer games Tomb Raider and The Sims.
6. A legendary island first mentioned in the 2001 Disney movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire.
7. Mythical place of sea monkeys and waffles. AKA Belgium
8. An Ancient Aryan Civilization inn the Black and/or Caspian sea/s before the sea level rose.
9. Shit nobody cares about

At one point Nazis believed that they had originated from Atlantis, although this remains unconfirmed. Also, Atlantis doesn't exist. Plato Specifically said that it was hypothetical as a way for him to get his point across.

History of Atlantis

A typical Atlantean

Cat Stevens

• 4004 B.C – the creation of earth by God
• 4003 B.C. – Poseidon has sex with Atlanta
• 4003 B.C. – Poseidon’s sperm forms the island of Santorini.
• 4003 B.C.- 3003 B.C. – Halliburton build the city that Plato describes as consisting of “a palace enclosed within three circular moats of increasing width, varying from one to three stadia and separated by rings of land proportional in size”, exceeding the original building estimate by 999 years.
• 3002 B.C. – Natla of Atlantis genetically engineers the Gou’ald.
• 3001 B.C. – Ted Stevens converts to Islam and changes his name to Donovan.
• 2999 B.C. – David Icke discovers the origins of the Reptilian Government of America.
• 2998 B.C. – The levee breaks, 1,000 Atlantean prisoners are stranded on an off-ramp, Krakatoa explodes, a meteor hits the Aegean and the War on Terror begins as Atlantis slips beneath the waves.
• 2011 A.C. - Alantis is thought to be found off the coast of Spain. Nobody cares.

Atlantis Today

• Home of jazz
• Houses the Protocols of the Elders of Zion

Famous Atlanteans

• Ted Turner
• The Man From Atlantis
• Natla of Atlantis
• Flipper
• Hercule Poirot
• Jessica Alba
• Donovan
• Doug McClure

WTF?

Wait, are you serious?!? My dream of diving down to Atlantis and swimming with the mermaids can't be fulfilled?

WHERE ARE THE MERMAIDS???

The Accurate Sanskrit part explained

Yes, technically atlantis did exist as 3 continents in the atlantic. The Diatya continent was in the center of atlantic aka "plato's atlantis" which contained the atlas mountains of morrocco. Its tip is now the faroe islands connected to jamaica, cuba and haiti. If a geologist were to piece these continents together it would become a triangle. In sanskrit it is Daitya aka home of the evil saka race. However, i denoted it as broken apart instead of sunken as Plato has because i noticed that continents do not or can not sink. Its remains are next to florida now underwater (along with coastal remains of south america), the daitya continent crashed into south america and fliped over to spread its pieces (jamaica fits perfectly in the bermuda triangle area..the only other known rift or crash on earth is japan and antarctica coincidentally with another giant vacuum in space over it). The ruta continent now iceland, and the nordic atla continent, now greenland which broke in two but geologists don't want to admit that....even though theeres a GIANT tectonic crack on the north pole that fits africa COMPLETLY PERFECT like a well woven puzzle piece. Noone wants to here how florida was a piece of rock above nova scotia which slid and collapsed down the eastern seaboard of the united states. Apparently, the nazis are right...Europe was just a series of islands 18 million years ago.

The proven part

ALANTIS FOUNDZ!!11!

• [1] on 3/4/2011 Scientist aka wizards discovered Alantis just north of Cadiz,Spain.Jewgold however was not found. National Geographic did a special covering the find named "finding Alantis" which no one watched as everyone was too busy playing with Mudkips and doing drugs at the time.
  IRL the scientist then used the jewgold given to them for their find to scubadive down to Alantis where it is now belived they live surrounded by whores,magic and mudkips. [2]

The Real Atlantis

So wait, something like Atlantis existed? Yes it did, its legacy is all around us. How else does a rational human explain all the underwater pyramids that exist all over the world?

See Also

• Futurama
• Indiana Jones
• Stingray
• Atlas Shrugged
• Bioshock

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