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{{achtung| FBI Director James Comey. Yes Donald? You're Fired!}}
{{achtung| FBI Director Christopher Wray. Yes Donald? You're Fired!}}
[[Cock]] and [[pussy]] are begging to be gobbled and chewed up. However, there is a cock-pussy gang who refuses to munch down on [[Genital Herpes|genital]] meat, because it's against their [[Bullshit|religion]] and their [[Angry Gay Pope|Holy Leader]] Jesus Edgar Hoover will throw a high-heeled shoe at them. That would be the highly [[Mormon]]ic gang of thugs known as the '''Federal Bureau of Investigation'''. Also known as '''The Authorities''', '''The Feds''', '''Federal Bureau (for) Israel''', or the '''Fucking Bunch of Idiots''' ([http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/fucking_bunch_of_idiots_federal_bureau_of_investigation_or_fbi_nickname/ it's true!]), the '''Party Van''' is [[SERIOUS BUSINESS]], designed to help corporations throw you in [[jail]] for sharing ones and zeroes—despite [[Communism|sharing]]  [[Lie|being the basis of our human society]]. Having purged all the [[Communism|Commies]] and [[Nigger|nonconformists]] from Amerika, now they're after ''you''.
[[Cock]] and [[pussy]] are begging to be gobbled and chewed up. However, there is a cock-pussy gang who refuses to munch down on [[Genital Herpes|genital]] meat, because it's against their [[Bullshit|religion]] and their [[Angry Gay Pope|Holy Leader]] Jesus Edgar Hoover will throw a high-heeled shoe at them. That would be the highly [[Mormon]]ic gang of thugs known as the '''Federal Bureau of Investigation'''. Also known as '''The Authorities''', '''The Feds''', '''Federal Bureau (for) Israel''', or the '''Fucking Bunch of Idiots''' ('''{{archive|qWHnK|it's true!}}'''), the '''Party Van''' is [[SERIOUS BUSINESS]], designed to help corporations throw you in [[jail]] for sharing ones and zeroes—despite [[Communism|sharing]]  [[Lie|being the basis of our human society]]. Having purged all the [[Communism|Commies]] and [[Nigger|nonconformists]] from Amerika, now they're after ''you''.
 


[[Image:Piracy.png|frame|center|lies|[[Lie|Indisputable truth]]]]
[[Image:Piracy.png|frame|center|lies|[[Lie|Indisputable truth]]]]
[[File:Journalists interview hoover.jpg|thumb|right|300px|A master of disguise]]
[[File:Journalists interview hoover.jpg|thumb|right|300px|A master of disguise]]


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Mind, the [[Pussy]] Van does not roll without "emeniez of the State" to go after and then wave in front of a compliant [[Old media|press]] as "terrible monsters". All the [[butthurt]]yness of [[AnonOps]], [[LulzSec]], [[GNAA]], [[Lizard Squad]], etc are the result of their own paranoia as well as the many fucked-up and badly formed cases the DOJ, Bureau, [[NSA]] and other alphabet soup assembled against h4x0rs. Ask [[your mom]], [[Ryan Cleary]] or [[weev]] for shit examples. Being a bunch of emotionally submature l00bz, 1334 hex0rs are always pissed that someone came after them for "a bit of harmless fun". Only the really stupid ones get caught, because the Fedz are even dumber. They are always 10-20 years behind in [[Cancer Jesus|technology]] compared to a scabby [[teenage]] girl with the latest [[iphone]]. They won't move a ballsack unless [[Jesus is Hitler|JAEZUS]] tells them it's okay to do it. The Bureau is fulla [[Mormons|Morons]], Hoooover lieked them because they were clean, quiet and compliant. They would cheerfully destroy whoever J. [[Anus]] hated that week.
Mind, the [[Pussy]] Van does not roll without "emeniez of the State" to go after and then wave in front of a compliant [[Old media|press]] as "terrible monsters". All the [[butthurt]]yness of [[AnonOps]], [[LulzSec]], [[GNAA]], [[Lizard Squad]], etc are the result of their own paranoia as well as the many fucked-up and badly formed cases the DOJ, Bureau, [[NSA]] and other alphabet soup assembled against h4x0rs. Ask [[your mom]], [[Ryan Cleary]] or [[weev]] for shit examples. Being a bunch of emotionally submature l00bz, 1334 hex0rs are always pissed that someone came after them for "a bit of harmless fun". Only the really stupid ones get caught, because the Fedz are even dumber. They are always 10-20 years behind in [[Cancer Jesus|technology]] compared to a scabby [[teenage]] girl with the latest [[iphone]]. They won't move a ballsack unless [[Jesus is Hitler|JAEZUS]] tells them it's okay to do it. The Bureau is fulla [[Mormons|Morons]], Hoooover lieked them because they were clean, quiet and compliant. They would cheerfully destroy whoever J. [[Anus]] hated that week.


Agents of the Boooreau always [http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/30/us/florida-fbi-shooting-boston/index.html get] their man/thing, [http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/30/us/florida-fbi-shooting-boston/index.html and] [https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/convicted-defendants-left-uninformed-of-forensic-flaws-found-by-justice-dept/2012/04/16/gIQAWTcgMT_story.html doesn't] [http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/19/us/in-150-shootings-the-fbi-deemed-agents-faultless.html never] [http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2013/06/iceland-a-nexus-for-us-wikileaks-investigations-new-york-times-says/ fuck] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Scarpa#Mississippi_civil_rights_workers up], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_P._O%27Neill evar]. They are [http://firsttoknow.com/hilarious-screw-ups-fbi-employees-are-guilty-of/ honest] and [http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/194751/fbi-agents-are-sexting-each-other-like-crazy/ upright] citizens all the time. They go undercover occasionally and [http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/471/the-convert make] [http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/03/20/fbi.muslim.groups/ complete] fools of themselves. And if you ever have to deal with an Agent of the Boooreau, and you want to ruin his day, ask him about [http://educate-yourself.org/tg/ Ted Gunderson]. Or [http://www.cnn.com/US/9607/03/investigating.fbi/index.html?_s=PM:US Gary Aldrich]. Go ahead.
Agents of the Boooreau always [https://www.cnn.com/2013/05/30/us/florida-fbi-shooting-boston/index.html get] their man/thing, [https://www.cnn.com/2013/05/30/us/florida-fbi-shooting-boston/index.html and] [https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/convicted-defendants-left-uninformed-of-forensic-flaws-found-by-justice-dept/2012/04/16/gIQAWTcgMT_story.html doesn't] [https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/19/us/in-150-shootings-the-fbi-deemed-agents-faultless.html never] [https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2013/06/iceland-a-nexus-for-us-wikileaks-investigations-new-york-times-says/ fuck] '''{{wikilink|Gregory_Scarpa#Recovery_of_the_bodies_of_Chaney,_Goodman,_and_Schwerner|up}}''', '''{{wikilink|John_P._O%27Neill|evar}}'''. They are '''{{archive|czcew|honest}}''' and '''{{archive|pnRrc|upright}}''' citizens all the time. They go undercover occasionally and [https://www.thisamericanlife.org/471/the-convert-2012 make] [http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/03/20/fbi.muslim.groups/ complete] fools of themselves. And if you ever have to deal with an Agent of the Boooreau, and you want to ruin his day, ask him about [https://educate-yourself.org/tg/ Ted Gunderson]. Or [http://www.cnn.com/US/9607/03/investigating.fbi/index.html?_s=PM:US Gary Aldrich]. Go ahead.


{{quote|With a guy like Ted there to buck up your credibility, you ain’t got much to begin with! The best way to describe Gunderson is that he was like “Jethro Bodine” pretending to be a “double-naught spy” on The Beverly Hillbillies. At one point during his career he oversaw 700 plus officers of the FBI’s Southern California bureau, and yet frankly, he’s one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met. Whenever someone asks me how he got in such a position, I tell them, “He was big and he was pushy.” (I’d run into him a few more times over the years, including when I interviewed him about Satanic cults for another spot on the show. He was a comic foil for me twice in the series).|--[http://dangerousminds.net/comments/brice_taylor_mind_controlled_sex_slave_of_the_cia_bob_hope_and_henry_kissin The Bureau's Finest]}}
{{quote|With a guy like Ted there to buck up your credibility, you ain’t got much to begin with! The best way to describe Gunderson is that he was like “Jethro Bodine” pretending to be a “double-naught spy” on The Beverly Hillbillies. At one point during his career he oversaw 700 plus officers of the FBI’s Southern California bureau, and yet frankly, he’s one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met. Whenever someone asks me how he got in such a position, I tell them, “He was big and he was pushy.” (I’d run into him a few more times over the years, including when I interviewed him about Satanic cults for another spot on the show. He was a comic foil for me twice in the series).|--'''{{archive|ZKw1Q|The Bureau's Finest}}'''}}


==[[OL]] Expressions of Gratitude==
==[[OL]] Expressions of Gratitude==
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*[http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/archives/001102.html Heaneyland!]
*[http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/archives/001102.html Heaneyland!]
**"I SAY FUCK THE FBI/RIAA/MPAA AND THE REST OF THE FUCKING BASTARDS GO SCREW YOURSELVES YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
**"I SAY FUCK THE FBI/RIAA/MPAA AND THE REST OF THE FUCKING BASTARDS GO SCREW YOURSELVES YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
*[http://archive.is/9299k Ubersite]
*'''{{archive|9299k|Ubersite}}'''
**"Forget the fact that I've lived in [[Canada]] my entire fucking life, a country who poses absolutely no threat to you whatsoever, and whose navy is less threatening than the fucking ''Love Boat''. Forget the fact that I've been to the States a million fucking times before. Forget the fact that I've never even seen a fucking [[gun]] in my life, let alone know how to operate a bomb. With my luck I would probably blow my [[dick]] off and still manage to live.  And the worse part is, one of the FBI guys was cross-eyed. The [[bitch]] was fucking cross-eyed with a giant mole on his forehead. I was scared shitless and trying not to laugh all at the same time. So in short, [[fuck]] the FBI." [[tl;dr|Long story short]], whiny Canadian bitches about a completely different country he knows nothing about. Whiny Americunt bitches about a country he couldn't point to on a map. Whiny Canadian continues to bitch cause it's what he and his countrymen(see: pussies) Whiny Can'tnadian pissed off cause his country continues to yield no significance to anything relevant on the world's stage. Nor has his country contributed anything since John Candy.
**"Forget the fact that I've lived in [[Canada]] my entire fucking life, a country who poses absolutely no threat to you whatsoever, and whose navy is less threatening than the fucking ''Love Boat''. Forget the fact that I've been to the States a million fucking times before. Forget the fact that I've never even seen a fucking [[gun]] in my life, let alone know how to operate a bomb. With my luck I would probably blow my [[dick]] off and still manage to live.  And the worse part is, one of the FBI guys was cross-eyed. The [[bitch]] was fucking cross-eyed with a giant mole on his forehead. I was scared shitless and trying not to laugh all at the same time. So in short, [[fuck]] the FBI." [[tl;dr|Long story short]], whiny Canadian bitches about a completely different country he knows nothing about. Whiny Americunt bitches about a country he couldn't point to on a map. Whiny Canadian continues to bitch cause it's what he and his countrymen(see: pussies) Whiny Can'tnadian pissed off cause his country continues to yield no significance to anything relevant on the world's stage. Nor has his country contributed anything since John Candy.


*[http://archive.li/P5XhQ WAR on Freedom of the press: Bush & FBI demand weblogs, financial data]
*'''{{archive|P5XhQ|WAR on Freedom of the press: Bush & FBI demand weblogs, financial data}}'''
**"Fuck our monkey boy president, fuck his trigger happy [[Dick Cheney|VP]] whore, fuck the FBI and fuck anyone else who's got the power to do something and hasn't."
**"Fuck our monkey boy president, fuck his trigger happy [[Dick Cheney|VP]] whore, fuck the FBI and fuck anyone else who's got the power to do something and hasn't."
*[http://www.safeaccessnow.org/asanews1913 High Times: Twelve Arrested in Alleged Pot Candy Operation]
*'''{{archive|lgVnL|High Times: Twelve Arrested in Alleged Pot Candy Operation}}'''
**"fuck the fuckin dea, fuck the police, fuck the fbi, fuck the cia, fuck the patriot act, fuck the narcs, fuck the atf" <--[[ALL CAPS|UR DOING IT WRONG]]
**"fuck the fuckin dea, fuck the police, fuck the fbi, fuck the cia, fuck the patriot act, fuck the narcs, fuck the atf" <--[[ALL CAPS|UR DOING IT WRONG]]
*[http://www.pigdog.org/categories/liberty.html Pigdog Journal - Liberty]
*[http://www.pigdog.org/categories/liberty.html Pigdog Journal - Liberty]
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***Fuck u FBI i pwnt your mom last night hardcore.  It was some great [[buttsecks]], im gonna rape all your daughters now too [[for the lulz]].  Have a nice day [[faggot|lovely people]].
***Fuck u FBI i pwnt your mom last night hardcore.  It was some great [[buttsecks]], im gonna rape all your daughters now too [[for the lulz]].  Have a nice day [[faggot|lovely people]].


*[http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/meet-the-woman-in-charge-of-the-fbis-most-contentious-high-tech-tools/2015/12/08/15adb35e-9860-11e5-8917-653b65c809eb_story.html Meet the Biotch Who Does The Bureau's Tech Dorkery]
*[https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/meet-the-woman-in-charge-of-the-fbis-most-contentious-high-tech-tools/2015/12/08/15adb35e-9860-11e5-8917-653b65c809eb_story.html Meet the Biotch Who Does The Bureau's Tech Dorkery]
**"Firms that feared being tagged as tools of a privacy-invading government became less willing to assist in surveillance “because it was perceived as not a good business model to be seen as cooperating with the government,” Hess said. It used to be, she said, that companies meeting a legal requirement to provide “technical assistance” generally would try to comply with wiretap orders. “Now all of a sudden we get hung up on the question of what, exactly, does that mean I have to provide to you?” she said. In recent months, the FBI’s conversations with companies have become more productive, she said, “but it’s not to the level we were pre-Snowden.”"
**"Firms that feared being tagged as tools of a privacy-invading government became less willing to assist in surveillance “because it was perceived as not a good business model to be seen as cooperating with the government,” Hess said. It used to be, she said, that companies meeting a legal requirement to provide “technical assistance” generally would try to comply with wiretap orders. “Now all of a sudden we get hung up on the question of what, exactly, does that mean I have to provide to you?” she said. In recent months, the FBI’s conversations with companies have become more productive, she said, “but it’s not to the level we were pre-Snowden.”"
*[http://www.muckrock.com/news/archives/2015/dec/08/john-lennons-fbi-file-1/ John Lennon's FBI file]
*[https://www.muckrock.com/news/archives/2015/dec/08/john-lennons-fbi-file-1/ John Lennon's FBI file]
**"John Lennon's sizable FBI file begins in the midst of his 1972 deportation battle with INS. While Lennon argued in court that the motive behind the deportation was political, the Bureau worked to secure a narcotics charge that would get him out of the country before the Republican National Convention that year. "
**"John Lennon's sizable FBI file begins in the midst of his 1972 deportation battle with INS. While Lennon argued in court that the motive behind the deportation was political, the Bureau worked to secure a narcotics charge that would get him out of the country before the Republican National Convention that year. "


==The Copypasta 1.0==
==Copypasta==
=== 1.0 ===
[[Image:Russiachan_party_van.jpg|thumb|[[In Soviet Russia]]...you go to Party Van.]]
[[Image:Russiachan_party_van.jpg|thumb|[[In Soviet Russia]]...you go to Party Van.]]
[[Image:ChinkDeathVan.jpg|thumb|In [[China]], you're fucked.]]
[[Image:ChinkDeathVan.jpg|thumb|In [[China]], you're fucked.]]
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<br><br>
<br><br>


== Pasta 2.0 ==
=== 2.0 ===
Fill in the blanks and paste this where relevant;
Fill in the blanks and paste this where relevant;


This is an automated message sent by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We are to inform you that you are now on a watchlist, and that you are to be monitored 24/7 as of now. Your actions have concerned us, and we are in suspicion that you are a potential risk to society and anyone around you. Due to the fact that you often search up various topics on the internet that concern ___ and ___, you are now labeled as a potential _____. Here are the various things you have searched up in the past months. If you have not searched up any of these topics, please contact a representative of the Federal Bureau of Investigation at once to fix this major error by calling (310) 477-6565.
This is an automated message sent by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We are to inform you that you are now on a watchlist, and that you are to be monitored 24/7 as of now. Your actions have concerned us, and we are in suspicion that you are a potential risk to society and anyone around you. Due to the fact that you often search up various topics on the internet that concern ___ and ___, you are now labeled as a potential _____. Here are the various things you have searched up in the past months. If you have not searched up any of these topics, please contact a representative of the Federal Bureau of Investigation at once to fix this major error by calling (310) 477-6565.


== Pasta 3.0 ==
=== 3.0 ===


Your IP has been traced and sent to the FBI. We've found your current location and you will be arrested for owning child pornographic content. I was send here to tell you this and warn you. You should wipe your entire hard-drive and move to Finland, you've got 7 days to do so. Keep in mind I will follow through out these 7 days to make sure you follow my steps. Once you arrive in Finland you have to make your way down town to Subway and order an Italian B.M.T. subway sandwich. There will be an secret transmitter in this sandwich which will give you access to Bill Gates's bank account. You can use this money to buy yourself an nice house and a car. You can also fly to a different country and live there if you want. If you do not follow these steps you will be assasinated by the Illuminati. Good luck.
Your IP has been traced and sent to the FBI. We've found your current location and you will be arrested for owning child pornographic content. I was send here to tell you this and warn you. You should wipe your entire hard-drive and move to Finland, you've got 7 days to do so. Keep in mind I will follow through out these 7 days to make sure you follow my steps. Once you arrive in Finland you have to make your way down town to Subway and order an Italian B.M.T. subway sandwich. There will be an secret transmitter in this sandwich which will give you access to Bill Gates's bank account. You can use this money to buy yourself an nice house and a car. You can also fly to a different country and live there if you want. If you do not follow these steps you will be assasinated by the Illuminati. Good luck.


== Awesome VIDEOS full of gay and fail ==
== Awesome VIDEOS full of gay and fail ==
<br>
{{center|
{{center|
{{fv|The Boooooreau Does Its Awesome Thing|background-color:red;|font-weight:bold;|<youtube>LjESlTskFi9zI</youtube>|<youtube>wpdgxJ5IMKw</youtube>|<youtube>tJhMlmf2awg</youtube>|<youtube>7MM56cKrlTA</youtube>|<youtube>g-pufyrBolI</youtube>}}
{{frame|
}}
{{videoframe|The Boooooreau Does Its Awesome Thing|font-weight:bold;|
 
|<youtube>wpdgxJ5IMKw</youtube>
;1
|<youtube>tJhMlmf2awg</youtube>
;2
|<youtube>7MM56cKrlTA</youtube>
;3}}
|border=red|background=red}}
|}}
<br>
==Gallery==
==Gallery==
{{clear}}
<br>
{{cg|FBI Gallery|fbigallery|center|<gallery>
{{cg|FBI Gallery|fbigallery|center|<gallery>
Image:BRBFBI.jpg|Party vanned!
Image:BRBFBI.jpg|Party vanned!
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Image:FBI Party van.jpg|4chan party van [[Demotivators|demotivator]].
Image:FBI Party van.jpg|4chan party van [[Demotivators|demotivator]].
Image:Vanned.jpg|V&
Image:Vanned.jpg|V&
Image:Fbi.jpg|[http://dis.4chan.org/read/lounge/1194572154/1-40 FBI comes to [[4chan]]]
Image:Fbi.jpg|'''{{archive|jF65j|FBI comes to [[4chan]]}}'''
Image:FBI.PNG|4chan comes to FBI
Image:FBI.PNG|4chan comes to FBI
Image:CO$V&ED.jpg|This van is made of [[Scientology|Fail]] and [[AIDS]].
Image:CO$V&ED.jpg|This van is made of [[Scientology|Fail]] and [[AIDS]].
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File:ITS A RAID - Underground Comix page.JPG
File:ITS A RAID - Underground Comix page.JPG
</gallery>|}}
</gallery>|}}
 
<br>
==Other Sites [[Pwned]] By FBI==
==Other Sites [[Pwned]] By FBI==
{{clear}}
{{clear}}
* [http://www.elitetorrents.org Elite Torrents] ([http://www.whois.com/nonssl/WhoisLookup.aspx?dnl=elitetorrents.org WHOIS])
[[File:RaidForums.com Domain Seizure notice screenshot.png|thumb|245px|RaidForums seizure]]
* [http://www.ratemyboobies.com/ Rate My Boobies]
 
* [http://www.ratemyboner.com/ Rate My Boner]
*[[Megaupload]]
* [http://www.textfiles.com/bbs/r&estory.txt Rusty & Edie's BBS]
*[https://www.elitetorrents.org Elite Torrents] ([https://www.whois.com/whois/elitetorrents.org WHOIS])
* [http://www.textfiles.com/bbs/raid.txt Moonbeams BBS]
*[[Child porn|Playpen]]
* [[Ourfancy]]
*[http://www.ratemyboobies.com/ Rate My Boobies]
* [[Conservapedia]]
*[http://www.ratemyboner.com/ Rate My Boner]
* [[Partyvan.info]]
*[http://www.textfiles.com/bbs/r&estory.txt Rusty & Edie's BBS]
* [http://www.submityourflicks.com/ Submit Your Flicks]
*[http://www.textfiles.com/bbs/raid.txt Moonbeams BBS]
* [[Megaupload]]
*[[Ourfancy]]
*[[Conservapedia]]
*[[Partyvan.info]]
*[https://www.submityourflicks.com/ Submit Your Flicks]
*[https://raidforums.com/ RaidForums]
**[http://breached.to/ BreachForums] (BF 2.0 is a honeypot)
*[http://z-lib.org/ Z-Library] (Z-Lib 2.0 is authentic)


==Takedown Notice OMG==
==Takedown Notice OMG==
Line 165: Line 184:


==External links==
==External links==
*[http://archive.is/nUVAE Party Van Insurance].
*'''{{archive|nUVAE|Party Van Insurance}}'''.
*[http://archive.is/KheR OMG, CHECK THIS OUT, BECOME AN HERO!!!]
*'''{{archive|KheR|OMG, CHECK THIS OUT, BECOME AN HERO!!!}}'''
*[http://www.fbi.gov Official secret Web site]
*[https://www.fbi.gov/ Official secret Web site]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/FBIDOTGOV The FBI's Youtube account. Trolling it will result in jail time.]
*{{yt|FBIDOTGOV|The FBI's Youtube account. Trolling it will result in jail time.}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/fbi The last one is a fraud, this is the real FBI Youtube account, they also have a pornhub link]
*{{yt|fbi|The last one is a fraud, this is the real FBI Youtube account, they also have a pornhub link}}
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Party_bus Trolled Wiki Farticle.]
*'''{{wikilink|Party_bus|Trolled Wiki Farticle.}}'''
*[http://www.returnofkings.com/98632/how-the-fbi-infiltrates-movements-and-what-you-can-do-to-stop-them How The FBI Infiltrates Movements—And What You Can Do To Stop Them] {{Archive|zRMok}}
*<s>[https://www.returnofkings.com/98632/how-the-fbi-infiltrates-movements-and-what-you-can-do-to-stop-them How The FBI Infiltrates Movements—And What You Can Do To Stop Them]</s> (dead) '''{{Archive|zRMok|(Archived)}}'''
*[http://www.dailystormer.com/know-your-kike-shills-what-do-the-feds-do/ Know Your Shills: What Do the Feds Do?] {{Archive|FSW3H}}
*'''{{ds|know-your-kike-shills-what-do-the-feds-do/|Know Your Shills: What Do the Feds Do?}}''' '''{{Archive|FSW3H|(Archived)}}'''
 
<br>
{{Pedoseries}}
{{Pedoseries}}
{{Takedown}}
{{Takedown}}
 
<br>
[[Category: Cliques]]
[[Category: Cliques]]
[[Category: Subcultures]]
[[Category: Subcultures]]
Line 183: Line 202:


{{Timeline|Featured article June 26 & June 27, [[2011]]|[[888chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[LulzSec]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article June 26 & June 27, [[2011]]|[[888chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[LulzSec]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 10th & April 11th, [[2020]]|[[Cancer]]|{{PAGENAME}}|Easter}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 10 & April 11, [[2020]]|[[Cancer]]|{{PAGENAME}}|Easter}}


{{timeline|Article of the Now April 27 & 28 [[2023]]|[[Russia]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Jerry Springer]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now April 27 & April 28, [[2023]]|[[Russia]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Jerry Springer]]}}

Latest revision as of 07:10, 10 July 2024

FBI Director Christopher Wray. Yes Donald? You're Fired!

Cock and pussy are begging to be gobbled and chewed up. However, there is a cock-pussy gang who refuses to munch down on genital meat, because it's against their religion and their Holy Leader Jesus Edgar Hoover will throw a high-heeled shoe at them. That would be the highly Mormonic gang of thugs known as the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Also known as The Authorities, The Feds, Federal Bureau (for) Israel, or the Fucking Bunch of Idiots ( it's true!), the Party Van is SERIOUS BUSINESS, designed to help corporations throw you in jail for sharing ones and zeroes—despite sharing being the basis of our human society. Having purged all the Commies and nonconformists from Amerika, now they're after you.


Indisputable truth


A master of disguise

THIS WEBPAGE OF THE INTERNETS IS BEING OBSERVED BY THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION UNDER AUTHORITY OF THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT FOR VIOLATION OF FEDERAL LULZ MANDATES AS DEFINED BY THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT.

AS A VISITOR, YOU MAY BE REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE IN AN EXTENSIVE BACKGROUND TEST. YOUR DISTINCTIVE FINGERPRINTS, SCARS, FORDYCE'S SPOTS, HAIR COLOR, HAIR TYPE, DATE AND TIME OF BIRTH, HEIGHT, WEIGHT, GENDER, ETHNIC BACKGROUND, FAT DISTRIBUTION, OCULAR SURFACE, BLOOD TYPE, BLOOD PRESSURE, CHROMOSOME COUNT, INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT, SAT SCORE, EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT, EPIDERMAL TENSILE STRENGTH, NEURAL IMPULSE QUADRATURE MODULATION FREQUENCY, MOLAR MASS, PENIS/CLITORIS GIRTH, CLOCK SPEED, NEGRO-HORMONE LEVEL, MIDICHLORIAN COUNT, OT LEVELS, THETAN DETECTION, SPERM COUNT, GREY MATTER VOLUME, CARPAL DERMAL TISSUE CONDUCTIVITY, HEAT OF VAPORIZATION, FIRST IONIZATION ENERGY, SALIVARY VISCOSITY, STOOL CONSISTENCY, SPECIFIC HEAT, RESONANCE STRUCTURE, CRYSTALLINE PACKING STRUCTURE, ANAL DIAMETER, BRUCE TREADMILL TEST SCORES, BODY MASS INDEX, BODY-FAT PERCENTAGE, PERSONALITY TYPE, VO2 MAX, LETHAL DOSES FOR VARIOUS CHEMICALS, ACOUSTIC ABSORPTION CHARACTERISTICS, OTHER BIOMETRIC DATA, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, FAVORITE COLOR, AND STDS MAY BE DOCUMENTED AND STORED INDEFINITELY AT AN UNSPECIFIED LOCATION WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT AND/OR KNOWLEDGE. THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS MAY, CONDITIONAL TO ITS FAIL AND AIDS AGREEMENT, RELEASE RECORDS DISPLAYING YOUR NAME TO INDIVIDUALS PETITIONING IT UNDER THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT OF 1996.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. YOUR PARTICIPATION ENSURES THE DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM OF AMERICA.

WTF is all this

OUR FEARLESS LEADER

You can thank Old Man Hoover for making this "agency" back in the 1920s. At the height of the paranoia over Prohibition (thank you Harry Anslinger, you cunt!), ol' Jerk Edgar was having a holy shit-cow over communists in his America-stew. He was a repressed dick-polisher and Friend'o'White-Jesus at a time when "communications" meant a ten-cent telegram. In some ways the Booreau hasn't grown out of its crude-assed childhood. They still use jackboot-monkeyboy techniques and homoerotic subtext uniforms/equipment to "Get Their Mane" and suck it off.

Mind, the Pussy Van does not roll without "emeniez of the State" to go after and then wave in front of a compliant press as "terrible monsters". All the butthurtyness of AnonOps, LulzSec, GNAA, Lizard Squad, etc are the result of their own paranoia as well as the many fucked-up and badly formed cases the DOJ, Bureau, NSA and other alphabet soup assembled against h4x0rs. Ask your mom, Ryan Cleary or weev for shit examples. Being a bunch of emotionally submature l00bz, 1334 hex0rs are always pissed that someone came after them for "a bit of harmless fun". Only the really stupid ones get caught, because the Fedz are even dumber. They are always 10-20 years behind in technology compared to a scabby teenage girl with the latest iphone. They won't move a ballsack unless JAEZUS tells them it's okay to do it. The Bureau is fulla Morons, Hoooover lieked them because they were clean, quiet and compliant. They would cheerfully destroy whoever J. Anus hated that week.

Agents of the Boooreau always get their man/thing, and doesn't never fuck up, evar. They are honest and upright citizens all the time. They go undercover occasionally and make complete fools of themselves. And if you ever have to deal with an Agent of the Boooreau, and you want to ruin his day, ask him about Ted Gunderson. Or Gary Aldrich. Go ahead.

   
“ 		 
With a guy like Ted there to buck up your credibility, you ain’t got much to begin with! The best way to describe Gunderson is that he was like “Jethro Bodine” pretending to be a “double-naught spy” on The Beverly Hillbillies. At one point during his career he oversaw 700 plus officers of the FBI’s Southern California bureau, and yet frankly, he’s one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met. Whenever someone asks me how he got in such a position, I tell them, “He was big and he was pushy.” (I’d run into him a few more times over the years, including when I interviewed him about Satanic cults for another spot on the show. He was a comic foil for me twice in the series).
  		„
  		 

—-- The Bureau's Finest

OL Expressions of Gratitude

Maybe it's not so bad being caught...
Or maybe it is...
  • Heaneyland!
    • "I SAY FUCK THE FBI/RIAA/MPAA AND THE REST OF THE FUCKING BASTARDS GO SCREW YOURSELVES YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Ubersite
    • "Forget the fact that I've lived in Canada my entire fucking life, a country who poses absolutely no threat to you whatsoever, and whose navy is less threatening than the fucking Love Boat. Forget the fact that I've been to the States a million fucking times before. Forget the fact that I've never even seen a fucking gun in my life, let alone know how to operate a bomb. With my luck I would probably blow my dick off and still manage to live. And the worse part is, one of the FBI guys was cross-eyed. The bitch was fucking cross-eyed with a giant mole on his forehead. I was scared shitless and trying not to laugh all at the same time. So in short, fuck the FBI." Long story short, whiny Canadian bitches about a completely different country he knows nothing about. Whiny Americunt bitches about a country he couldn't point to on a map. Whiny Canadian continues to bitch cause it's what he and his countrymen(see: pussies) Whiny Can'tnadian pissed off cause his country continues to yield no significance to anything relevant on the world's stage. Nor has his country contributed anything since John Candy.
  • Meet the Biotch Who Does The Bureau's Tech Dorkery
    • "Firms that feared being tagged as tools of a privacy-invading government became less willing to assist in surveillance “because it was perceived as not a good business model to be seen as cooperating with the government,” Hess said. It used to be, she said, that companies meeting a legal requirement to provide “technical assistance” generally would try to comply with wiretap orders. “Now all of a sudden we get hung up on the question of what, exactly, does that mean I have to provide to you?” she said. In recent months, the FBI’s conversations with companies have become more productive, she said, “but it’s not to the level we were pre-Snowden.”"
  • John Lennon's FBI file
    • "John Lennon's sizable FBI file begins in the midst of his 1972 deportation battle with INS. While Lennon argued in court that the motive behind the deportation was political, the Bureau worked to secure a narcotics charge that would get him out of the country before the Republican National Convention that year. "

Copypasta

1.0

In Soviet Russia...you go to Party Van.
In China, you're fucked.

When trolling as a delicious Loli, when the guy asks for a pic, cam, etc, send him this.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to CPS(Child Protection Services) and local law enforcement agencies. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.

After you send this pasta, the conversation should go like this:

colin says: u see ma cock?
Jew says: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 8429l271. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to CPS(Child Protection Services) and local law enforcement agencies. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.
colin has stopped viewing webcam with you.
Jew says: Please wait while we process your IP address.
Jew says: Location found.
colin says: oh fuck



2.0

Fill in the blanks and paste this where relevant;

This is an automated message sent by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We are to inform you that you are now on a watchlist, and that you are to be monitored 24/7 as of now. Your actions have concerned us, and we are in suspicion that you are a potential risk to society and anyone around you. Due to the fact that you often search up various topics on the internet that concern ___ and ___, you are now labeled as a potential _____. Here are the various things you have searched up in the past months. If you have not searched up any of these topics, please contact a representative of the Federal Bureau of Investigation at once to fix this major error by calling (310) 477-6565.

3.0

Your IP has been traced and sent to the FBI. We've found your current location and you will be arrested for owning child pornographic content. I was send here to tell you this and warn you. You should wipe your entire hard-drive and move to Finland, you've got 7 days to do so. Keep in mind I will follow through out these 7 days to make sure you follow my steps. Once you arrive in Finland you have to make your way down town to Subway and order an Italian B.M.T. subway sandwich. There will be an secret transmitter in this sandwich which will give you access to Bill Gates's bank account. You can use this money to buy yourself an nice house and a car. You can also fly to a different country and live there if you want. If you do not follow these steps you will be assasinated by the Illuminati. Good luck.

Awesome VIDEOS full of gay and fail


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Gallery


  • Party vanned!
    Party vanned!
  • Busted with your dick in your hand
    Busted with your dick in your hand
  • "The FBI does not have a sense of humor that we are aware of."
    "The FBI does not have a sense of humor that we are aware of."
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • FBI honeypots in the white nationalist scene explained
    FBI honeypots in the white nationalist scene explained
  • FBI's secret weapon
    FBI's secret weapon
  • ...and so is ceiling cat
    ...and so is ceiling cat
  • Your very own 4chan van!
    Your very own 4chan van!
  • This picture no longer alleges in any way that J. Edgar Hoover was anything but a heterosexual.
    This picture no longer alleges in any way that J. Edgar Hoover was anything but a heterosexual.
  • The 4CHAN PARTY VAN, fresh off a bust.
    The 4CHAN PARTY VAN, fresh off a bust.
  • 4chan party van demotivator.
    4chan party van demotivator.
  • V&
    V&
  • FBI comes to 4chan
    FBI comes to 4chan
  • 4chan comes to FBI
    4chan comes to FBI
  • This van is made of Fail and AIDS.
    This van is made of Fail and AIDS.
  • party service
    party service
  • An FBI Agent, in the process of posting on Pol/
    An FBI Agent, in the process of posting on Pol/
  • Because entrapment can make your career.
    Because entrapment can make your career.
  • Because entrapment can make your career, ~desu!
    Because entrapment can make your career, ~desu!
  • A boku is fine too.
    A boku is fine too.
  • Desuchan version, desu~
    Desuchan version, desu~
  • Desuchan version, boku.
    Desuchan version, boku.
  • Jackpot
    Jackpot
  • Feds get trolled by 4chan troll
    Feds get trolled by 4chan troll
  • Special Agent
    Special Agent
  • The truth is out there.
    The truth is out there.
  • You're doomed if you see it coming
    You're doomed if you see it coming
  • All aboard the 4chan Party Van!
    All aboard the 4chan Party Van!
  • Pwnd Partyvanned
    Pwnd Partyvanned
  • Exploitable!
    Exploitable!


Other Sites Pwned By FBI

File:RaidForums.com Domain Seizure notice screenshot.png
RaidForums seizure

Takedown Notice OMG

Feds are known for their backdoors. They see buttholes everywhere.

Apparently the Fuckwitted Bastards Institute doesn't like the idea of freedom of the press. On December the 8th, 2010, during the middle of Operation Payback, ED was just doing its usual: documenting the raid, nothing particularly illegal, when they received a cease-and-desist notice from the aforementioned Feds to remove the page. See, some wise members of the Anons had decided to post dox on the various people to attack over the previous few weeks, and the FBI had finally managed to take notice. For some reason, they seemed to think that Sheneequa and Co. were responsible, not the people who edited the article. Another odd thing was that they never offered to compromise by removing the offending text and just document events as they unfolded.

The FBI threatened to prosecute ED otherwise, and as such they testicularlessly removed the article. At least until this shit blows over, and a legal one without the dox can be put up. For some reason, they think this is the worst ED has been used for. All of this is because the FBI is very unilateral and repressed-faggoty. Hopefully Anons will think a bit better next time before they attack the websites of their own country's government. Still, it raises important questions when a country that has laws explicitly “enshrining free speech” protects those rights of the people less than countries that don't.

So basically, we can't put that page back up yet. And don't try it either, Anons.

See also

External links


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is part of a series on

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03bgood • 2cash • abigblueworld • Adezero • aediot • Aeverine Nieves • Akai Dalia • Angel Locsin • A Man in Black • Argent009 • Asalieri • Aush0k • Bill9929 • Brian Martin • Chris-chan • Chrissie Barmore • CircaRigel • Clayranger89 • Daniel Brandt • DivineAngel • Donald Buffkin/Tablecow • Donny Long • drp1zza • ED Singers • Elizabeth Minami Wyvill • Erin Anthony • Feltcho • Flardox • Girlvinyl • Grace Saunders • Hayakain • Icewillow9 • Intellectual Checkmate • Ilovemydoodle • JDubs • Jim Profit • Keegan Salisbury • Kevin Martin • Libertarian Fox • Linkaton Furaito • Love Shy • Lulz in hell Trollfags • Ljupco Steriev • Marjan Siklic • Meowbark • Mike Sandy • moot • Nate Spidgewood • Oliver D. Smith • Onideus • Pacificoceanasia • Paul Fetch • PixelBeeProductions • Preachingthegospel• Prince Jeremy • PrinceDumuzi • Purelily • Robert Wayne Stiles • Rootbrian • Rusty Ray • Sceptre • SheWolf • Sirius Orionis • SpleeNfat • Steve Hodder-Watt • Sue Basko • Tom Newton • VampiricSpektor • VideoGamePhenom • Vordrak • Wwwarea • YandereDev • Zenny

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Featured article June 26 & June 27, 2011
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888chan 		Party Van Succeeded by
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Featured article April 10 & April 11, 2020
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