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Ian Watkins

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Ian Watkins
Born Ian David Karslake Watkins
30 July 1977
An hero No • Surrendered
Nationality Welsh
Occupation Singer / Musician
Religion Athiest
Crime Babyfuck, CP, Beastiality


Ian Watkins (aka Ian Wantkids) is a pedophilic, bisexual sheepfucker, current lead singer of One Direction, the voice of SpongeBob, and former lead-vocalist of hipster outfit Lostprophets. Despite a relatively successful music career Watkins was unable to suppress the demons that lurked deep within his psyche so embarked upon on a prolonged mission to abuse as many children as he could persuade mentally unstable female members of his fanbase to afford him access to. His popularity allowed him to escape justice for some considerable time but in the end his public downfall inevitably came and he was brutally exposed as having conspired with others to insert his penis into the rectum of a 1-year-old boy.

   
 
I don't know what everyone is getting so freaked out about.
 

 
 

— Ian Watkins, on popular reaction

   
 
Megalolz
 

 
 

— Watkins's view on babyfucking

   
 
(a) determined and committed paedophile
 

 
 

Christopher Clee QC, prosecuting

   
 
Well......that escalated pretty quickly......I do apologise....
 

 
 

last Tweet, 15 December 12

Lostprophets

A disturbingly prescient photograph.

The Lostprophets were founded in the late 90's, becoming a group of trend-hoppers that played whatever could get them into the mainstream, much like a lost puppy searching for a home. Originally embracing nu metal, by 2004 said genre's popularity was in rapid decline with bands such as Jimmy Eat World, My Chemical Romance and Dashboard Confessional emerging to encourage teenagers to slit their wrists over silly breakups. Lostprophets suddenly embraced emo and went from looking like Limp Bizkit to a bunch of vampiric cosplayers. Lostprophets were also notable for making the same goddamn music video about large groups of teenagers all converging on one spot over and over again. Unable to wake up and smell the coffee, the band didn't disband until Watkins was sentence to prison in 2013.

Raping adventure

THEY GOT A NEW VOCALIST!!!!

By around October 2006, Ian Watkins began his venerable crusade, composed principally of introducing infants to his genitalia. At first he attempted to sexually assault a baby boy, but after feeling remorse for giving into his homosexual urges, Ian did what he considered to be normal and raped a baby girl. He first began having sex with teenage fangirls. Ian then conspired with two bitches who made kids themselves to sexually abuse their asses, and Ian sent a message to them saying that if they're his "baby," their babies belong to him as well. He then went on to record kiddie porn for pedophiles to flock off to and cum all over the screen. The investigators also say that he had tried to fuck hundreds of victims until he died of AIDS like Eazy E from NWA.

The pigs went on his cumputer and found kiddy porn and bestiality on his browsing history, allowing them to rain fire and shit thunder all over Ian's britfag ass, dooming him to reside in jail and inevitably drop the soap. In his defense, he is perfectly entitled to be a practitioner of bestiality, owing to his long and storied Welsh heritage.

At first in 2012, Ian Watkins said he wouldn't ever fuck a child or baby, but then like the fags who come out the closet, he admitted it in November 2013. Ian Watkins also says he'll be soon someday a rock god and that he'd rather bite the dust and take a chance to burn in the depths of hell than be in jail with a bunch of faggots for years with an overly obsessed fangirl who had phone sex with him after he got sentenced. He then referred to his abuse as "megalolz" and even used that word for decorations in his hipster band's concerts.

As the police looked at his belongings and shit, they also figured his laptop password which was "I FUK KIDS", a video of Ian Watkins having sex with a 16-year-old girl then urinating on her like R Kelly and offering her to drink his piss and more, which included:

  • The discovery of his profile on Motherless
  • A video of his bitch having oral sex with her baby
  • A message he made saying how he wants to record some filthy child porn in the summer
  • Messages discussing recording bestiality
  • A message from his bitch referring to her baby as his "fuck-toy"

Prison

Ian Watkins was dutifully remanded to a hardcore prison and is in a cell where he may cohabitate with Mark Bridger, who brutally killed the little, mushy ass head of a 5-year-old girl and hid her in his closet. His two lil' sluts were only sentenced to 14-17 years while he was in for 29 years.

As of January 2014, he was moved to a different prison closer to his ill mom since she was dying of AIDS. Surprisingly, little kids visit their parents in the prison. In August 2023, Ian Wantkids got stabbed in prison.

Aftermath

The inspiration through his song titles.

Cyberbullying

After Ian was sent to the big boy house, his ex-slut Joanne Mjadzelics was now the new Jessi Slaughter, being cyberbullied by butthurt fanboys who said she lied initially to the police about mister Ian the Pedophile and said she wanted to touch her own son in his big black British cock. She then overdosed on drugs and tried to perform a self-pwnage but failed like Kim Mathers did after she got her white ass owned by Slim Shady. Sorry Ian, but no child or baby wanted to fuck you.

In January 2015, Ms Mjadzelics appeared in court charged with umpteen CP offences. Her defence was that she had all that CP on her computer -- and that she'd made a video of herself having sex with Watkins and speaking graphically about sexually abusing children -- as part of a four-year-long plan to entrap Watkins. Her email kiss-off to Watkins -- "Child molesters till we die" -- was all part of her scheme to bring the bad guy to justice. No, really.

14 January 2015: HOLY SHIT! SHE GOT AWAY WITH IT! Although, er, actually, when you look at the details it does seem like she was telling the truth and the po-po were up to no good.

Reactions

Everybody collectively shat bricks when they heard about Ian's rape adventure, including cunts, his bandmates, fantards, people who flip shit and pray a criminal gets death penalty every time a crime is done and people offended by everything.

Lostprophets banned by HMV

After Ian Watkins finally admitted he sexually abused babies and little kids, HMV removed all their Lostprophets merch and records and got rid of Lostprophets. They said that they were instructed to do it and therefore, did like a deep thinker. Ironically, these guys are still strongly open to selling records by Burzum, Charles Manson and Gary Glitter. Probably because one guy will come slaughter 'em all and paint "HELTER SKELTER" all over the walls, one guy will burn the church the HMV staff attend while they're in there, or another guy will rape them. Despite this, iTunes and other such refused to make this a trend and still would support pedophilia while HMV only supports murder, church burnings and pedophiles (as long as they're old).

Facebook

In November 2013, once Ian Watkins was convicted of sexual abuse, thousands and thousands of little kids on Facebook shat huge, giant bricks from their worm-infested assholes and at least 5,000 users started flooding the Lostprophets' Facebook page with nerd rage and shat thunder all over the place until you couldn't even reach the first comment on the page since it was made.

Bandmates

His bandmates were deeply fucked in the ass with pain when they found out what occurred. They then deleted fucking everything from their Failbook and Twatter. They wrote a message saying

   
 
Many of you understandably want to know if we knew what Ian was doing. To be clear: We did not. We knew that Ian was a difficult character. Our personal relationships with him had deteriorated in recent years to a point that working together was a constant, miserable challenge. But despite his battles with drugs, his egotistical behaviour, and the resulting fractures and frustrations within our band, we never imagined him capable of behaviour of the type he has now admitted.

We are heartbroken, angry, and disgusted at what has been revealed. This is something that will haunt us for the rest of our lives. Being in a band has always been a labor of love and a platform to inspire people, not to take advantage of them. It's still hard to believe this is happening and that someone we were once so close to has destroyed so many lives, lying every step of the way.

Our hearts go out to Ian's family, the fans and friends he betrayed, and most importantly, the victims of his crimes and others like them. We hope for justice, but also that Ian will truly take responsibility for what he's done. We would urge any other victims to contact the authorities.
 


 
 

Others
   
 
I am completely and utterly disgusted by this information. I seriously use to look up to this guy as an idol and I LOVED Lost prophets... this seriously has destroyed part of my teen-hood and I cannot believe that this man is guily of such horrific crimes. Ian Watkins, you have not only dissapointed me, but you have dissapointed all of your fans, band and even worse.. you ruined these childrens' lives! I REGRET looking up to you as a musical artist! and I hope you burn in hell for all of eternity and know for a FACT you will get ass raped like NEVER BEFORE in jail. I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up DEAD! MAY GOD HAVE NO MERCY ON YOUR MISERABLE SOUL YOU PEDOFILE!
 

 
 

—Typical reaction to Ian which came from some girl on Facebook

Several people were deeply offended by this and started nerd raging online about Ian. They then went on to say how they really, really, really wanted to publicly castrate him without anesthetic and then hang him from the nearest lampost and then smile as he writhes in pain. Apparently, because they are always right, You can rape adults, which they want for him in prison, but raping adults is extremely different from raping children and babies. You learn something new everyday.

As the news got out, comments boxes on sites like Blabbermouth.net began to grow and grow as many Christfags came to use the same ol' "I HOPE HE ROTS IN HELL AND GETS SLOWLY CASTRATED WITHOUT ANESTHETIC AND BE BOILED" scream in their comment along with some people who simply just love flocking off to movies of cruel and unusual punishment, only taken to the next level. Basically, this is Sandy Hook all over again, replacing guns with genitalia and murder with sexual abuse.

Oliver Sykes

The singer Oliver Sykes for the Britfag band Bring Me the Horizon also shat bricks saying

   
 
So Watkins was sentenced & justice was served, wether you think it was too short a stretch or not. My heart goes out to all the victims effected, but I would like you all to consider the impact and destruction Watkins has inflicted on his band, and see how them themselves are in some ways the biggest victims of this nightmare. He destroyed the legacy of Lost Prophets (which were my favourite band ever back in the day) -when your band ends you want to be able to look back at all the good times, listen to the songs you made, reminisce, but that is no longer an option. He has made it extremely difficult for them to continue their love of music and art without people treating them differently because of one mans actions. What ever they choose to do in the future we should support them 110% and not let one nonces life ruin 5 good peoples lives. Which brings me to Richard J Oliver's incredible art. He recently asked to paint a picture influenced by me, which is awesome, and he is a truly gifted artist. Go add him on twitter- @RJOliverfineart and check out his work. And check out the painting he did influenced from a picture of me! (ABOVE THIS TWEET) rad!
 

 
 

Fans, I mean trolls

Many fans kept calling Ian "innocent" since they're obviously fans. They then made a Failbook page called "We Support Ian Watkins" and called him their saviour and called him "innocent". As this page was out, many butthurt emo fags were easily offended and dragged their little cocks to the cyberpolice on Failbook and reported it. Pretty soon, the Facebook page was removed and even the Daily News was pissed. Despite that, one said that they called the police and they said it is not illegal to the page due to freedom of speech. But, since websites such as JewTube and Failbook suspend many trolls for even making a joke, the page was removed anyways.

Another Ian Watkins

YOU FUCKED WIT TEH WRONG GUY
   
 
.@ianwatkins have a nice time in prison you idiot !!!
 

 
 

—JACK (@goring_jack) December 18, 2013 (response from some little kid who is too much of a fucking retard to notice certain things in usernames)

After Ian Wantkids was sentenced to prison in the cell with Mark Bridger, some fat Britfag/businessman from UK whose Twitter username was @ianwatkins was mistaken as the pedophile Ian Watkins and was being cyberbullied by strangers holding candy online.

Another Britfag named Ian H. Watkins who sang for the band Steps was also mistaken as the pedophile Ian Watkins. The court and police even used the Steps frontman's picture to refer to the singer from the Lostprophets.

Lose Yourself (Ian Watkins Version)

image

Look, if you had one cock, or one clit
To fuck all the children you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
Yo
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's cum on his sweater already, ejaculated already
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to shove cocks,
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,
The whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's dropping now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bow!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes the kid, he's choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it, he knows his whole back's to these hoes
It don't matter, his pedophilia
He knows that but he's showed his genitalia
He's so yuck, he knows
When he goes back to his apartment, that's when it's
Back to the pornography again, yo
This whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

You better lose yourself in the fucking, the moment
You own it, you better never let those children go
You only get one cock, do not let the child or baby go home
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
You better lose yourself in the fucking, the moment
You own it, you better never let those children go
You only get one mouth, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

Their virginity's escaping, through the cock in their anus that is gaping
This baby is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a new high score
A music life is boring, but a pedo's close to postmortem
It only grows harder, the babies go faster
He blows his piss all over these kids is all on him
Coast to coast sex, he's known as the globetrotter
Lonely babes, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, his cock's longer
He goes home and acts like he is their own father
But hold your nose 'cause here goes the cum-water
The babies don't want him no more, he fucked harder
They moved on to the next hoe who goes
Who nose doves and abused many
So the sexual spree is told and unfolds to maybe a slaughter
I suppose it's old partner but the abuse goes on
Boom boom boom boom and go boom boom go

No more games or music, now I came
Tear this baby's little ass off even if it's gay
I was barely raping in the beginning, the children all changed
I've been chewed up and spit out and booed off fame
But I kept finding two women into the next records
Best believe these girls give the babe so I fuck him or her
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by 2012
And I can't provide the right type of raping for my own culture
Cause man, these goddamn moments are seen by mom and father
There's no Jimmy Savile, this is my life
And fucking is so hard, and it's getting even harder
Trying to rape and not get caught, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a singer and a mass fucker
Kid's mama drama's screaming on and
Too much for me to wanna
Blow one small cock, next day I'm caught
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I got
I've got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot
Surrendering is my only motherfucking option, fugitive's not
Mom and band mates, I love you, my time has got to go
I cannot grow old in Wales' lot
So here I go it's my shot.
Rape fail me not, this may be the only opportunity that I got


Previous Slide | Next Slide

Megalolz

Just for $15.20!!!
Britain's favorite tattoo

24 hours after Ian Watkins' was sentenced to prison for decades, all of a sudden fans started getting tattoos which were tattoos of his conviction photo and the tattoo had "megalolz" below it. On a phone conversation with a fangirl, Ian Watkins said what he did was megalolz and nobody got hurt. Also, 24 hours after he got sentenced to prison, stores like Amazon, eBay and Grindstore began selling his shirts from his company "Made in Hell" which were white shirts that said "MEGALOLZ" on it. Many fans started buying it as the news started to drop the fuck-bomb about it.

As the news began, everyone has been trying to get these shirts banned.

How to troll people who pity the victims

Any of these will make anyone start a hissy fit filled with nerd rage. 100% guaranteed!

  • Make a page on Facebook page supporting Ian Watkins
  • Say that Ian is innocent
  • Still listen to the band and keep buying their merch and albums
  • Compliment the Lostprophets
  • Call Ian Watkins a hero
  • Tell them how they're discriminating against pedophiles
  • Say that pedophilia and baby rape is good
  • Say that the victims deserved it and that babies and children deserve to be raped
  • Call Ian Watkins "funny"
  • Show them your megalolz shirt
  • Get a megalolz tattoo
  • Say you don't know what everyone is so upset about.
  • Offer them a megalolz shirt
  • Call them a hypocrite if they want him to be fucked anally in prison or if they want him killed. Then point out how murder is even more cruel than rape. Then tell them how they'd have to deal with even that happening to them.
  • Make constant rape-jokes
  • Make an account on a social network impersonating Ian or the Lostprophets, including on Facebook.
  • Tell them they're stuck in old England if they get butthurt enough to scream "DEATH PENALTY DEATH PENALTY!!!111"
  • Offer them a kiddy porn tape
  • Play "I Wanna Fuck a Dog in the Ass" by Blink-182
  • Compliment Dahvie Vanity from Blood on the Dance Floor
  • Say that sex is natural for human and thus it is normal to fuck children, even if you aren't a child yourself
  • Make lulzy Ian Watkins memes
  • Refer to what Ian Watkins did as "megalolz"
  • Say that nobody got hurt
  • Tell them that you still support Ian because of his music
  • Show them this article

YouTube


Why is he so creepy?


A metal faggot makes a butthurt statement to Ian and the two cunts who made babies as his fuck-toy.


A charming little ditty about mistaken identity.


Why are there so many kids in the video?


Ian's arch-nemesis

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

External links

 Ian Watkins
 FreeIanWatkins

Ian Watkins is part of a series on

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