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BBC Radio 4
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Warning! This article is incomprehensible to non-Britfags and editing it is fucking tedious. |
- Did you mean: I want to die?
BBC Radio 4 unlike much of its other counterparts such as Radio 1, serves as an outlet for broadcasting a range of extremely educational and thought provoking articles to the general public. Tuning in is akin to a game of Russian roulette, where upon the listener will be subjected to learning how it was to be a lesbian in the 1980s or taught precisely how an 19th century cart is constructed. Needless to say, Radio 4 will only be of interest if you are middle class or a complete and utter faggot. Since euthanasia is illegal in britain Radio 4 is also used as its alternative, though unlike euthanasia takes several years to work and is infinitely painful.
Regular Programs
Along with random articles, Radio Bore also hosts a variety of other shows in which boring old pensioners individuals of superior intellect talk about more incredibly interesting things. Amongst the shows, there are, however, some that are actually funny, though again probably only to middle class people.
Just A Minute
A program in which mainly British comedians and actors are challenged to talk for a full minute about even more exciting topics. The show usually generates many lulz, mostly from highbrow humor involving grammar, because someone interrupted for no reason or that someone broke the rules and fucked up, upon which the person who pointed out the fuck up continues talking about the subject for remaining time. Better than crack.
In a recent special Political Edition, George Osborne of the Conservative Party apparently managed to speak for thirty seconds but it transpired he was merely blubbering because Peter Mandelson pointed out that Cameron will never love him.
The Today Programme
A political sketch show where regional presenters slap famous people around the head with their metaphorical cocks to discuss current and relevant topics. John Humphries, the show's host and notorious ladies' man, and host of Mastermind, is well known for having a one-foot penis, and once accidentally took Edwina Currie's eye out during a heated argument about Welsh cakes.
Church Bells on Sunday
Literally the sound of church bells ringing on Sunday from around the country. I shit you not.
Gardeners' Question Time
How to be a success at growing various plant life in your garden, with a panel of experts giving tips on everything, ranging from which soil type is appropriate for a birch tree, to whether a certain type of rose requires much daylight or not. A reminder that whilst Britain ruled the fucking world with an iron fist, its inhabitants sat back and did a spot of light gardening.
The Archers
A never-ending play in which the residents of a generic rural community go around doing various fun things again and again and just won't shut up and oh god it's all so fucking mundane. Due to the programs never-ending nature, it's mostly listened to by people who were caught in its spell and can't stop listening or by older persons who are trying to escape death by being absorbed into the programs infinite presence in the world.
Nature
It's about nature.
Desert Island Discs
One of the other arguably good shows on Radio Bore, in which famous people talk about their favourite music and play a few tracks for the listeners. Notable shows include Quentin Tarantino turning up and bragging about his massive music collection.
