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Jason Bowen
| Jason Bowen | |
|---|---|
| Nationality: | Americunt 
|
| High score | No kills, no injuries; didn't even bring a weapon to school |
| Top 50? | N/A |
| Style | N/A |
| An Hero? | No |
Jason M. Bowen is an 18-year-old emo edgelord from Butler County, Pennsylvania, who, on January 7, 2019, decided that it would be utterly hilarious to post a video on Snapchat that showed him firing his AK-47 with a caption that read "Training for prom walk" — as if a dumb cracker like him could actually find a prom date who wasn't afflicted with Down Syndrome and didn't share their Mitochondrial DNA with him.
Unfortunately for little Jason, he was too fucking stupid to realize that, in a post-Columbine society, his hilarious little "joke" was almost certainly going to be viewed as a terrorist threat and would result in him getting arrested a few hours later. To make matters even worse for poor little Jason, he had also previously posted a video of himself giving a thumbs up to the Sandy Hook massacre which, to people who don't use ED, would most likely appear to be a classic example of sociopathic behaviour.
Now, his prom walk will most likely be with an oversized, ass-raping gorilla named Tyrone.
He Did It For The Lulz
According to Bowen's attorney David Shrager✡, it was all a bad joke that Bowen didn't really think through, and no credible threat exists of him wanting or being capable of doing something so violent.
Police on the other hand, felt it necessary to lock down the entire school district, because having no sense of humor, no matter how lulzy the threat, they took it seriously.
They didn't get the joke
Unable to see the joke, police served a warrant on Bowen and found drug paraphernalia and brass knuckles in his room.
Being an enemy of the lulz, Judge Sue Haggerty increased Bowen's bond from $25,000 to $100,000, citing for the safety of other students because Bowen had plans for a Weekend School Dance because of the weight of the threats he made.
High Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 0/20 - DINDU NUFFIN |
| Accuracy: | 0/20 - DINDU NUFFIN |
| Style: | 0/20 - DINDU NUFFIN |
| Butthurt: | 25/20 - His own butt, LOLOLOL |
| Bonus: | 0/20 - DINDU NUFFIN |
| Total score: 25/100 (F) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
|
___________________
|
Mall Cop
See Also
Externsl Links
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Jason Bowen is part of a series on Life [Go Live One] |
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| Featured Article January 11 and 12, 2019 | ||
| Preceded by Kero The Wolf |
Jason Bowen | Succeeded by Jim Traficant |