Google Chrome

Google Chrome, also known as Skynet Browser, Pull-to-refresh Browser, Google Quoum, Google Shrome, and Google Jérôme, is one of the most lurid and shittiest web browsers known to man.

It appeared last Thursday when a very funny webcomic was leaked. 4chan's /g/ and Something Awful's SH/SC orgasmed at the release of Chrome and dubbed it the "Windows killer". Luckily Google is an advertising company so the browser will keep all of your personal data, such as what websites you visit, safe. Wink wink. Since the last 100 years Google never made a stable browser and every single fucking day they release a beta version full with more and more bugs. Let's say you got 7 computers in your home which every computer has 4 systems. And Google releases another beta version full with popups and bugs. For fucks sake, are you gonna install every singe beta daily on all of your computers ????

Features

Google Chrome thinks that Google.com is malware, and they are correct!

Multithreading

The main feature of the browser is that it starts a new process for each tab opened to save internet spaces. This extends to advertisements, where all advertisements on a tab are opened in a new tab and the one you were viewing is closed. This is so you can view the advertisements with maximum pleasure and without being distracted by all that content on /b/.

• The browser incorporates many unique privacy elements such as direct transfer of your private data to the government for protection. Chrome has proven itself so fast that Comcast is now throttling the speeds of Chrome and Windows Anti Virus 2008 classifies it as a virus.

Colorful Design And Theme Faggotry

• Google powers it with copyright infringement; they made special Pokeballs to capture rare and valuable Pokemon like Metagross, whose brain is as powerful as four supercomputers. The Pokemon are used to power the browser as they slowly sap the life force from your computer.
• Chrome supports themes that won't fuck your browser up.
  
  

Tab bar

While Google first had the ability to select multiple tabs and move them to a new window, Chrome lacks a side-scrollable tab bar that Firefox has. This means if you are a tab hoarder with hundreds of tabs, you can not scroll the tab bar sideways. Microsoft Edge, a Chrome derivative, solved this by giving an option to show a vertical tab bar, and Firefox can do this with the "vertigo tabs" extension. (Yes, even Firefox 57 Quantum and up, after they got rid of XUL.)

Safety

• Even worse, when you run Chrome and browse ED under Windows, you don't get the helpful Window/XP/WhateverDefender application installed under your machine's "Documents and Settings" folder and in your registry's "what to do with exe's" instructions that so enrich the Firefox and IE experiences.
• Chrome evaded the XSS attacks by Goatse Security.

Drag Drop

It has some key differences from Firefox, like being able to drag tabs into separate windows (which Firefox can now do and Opera could always do) and that's about it. However, because it is made by Google, everyone overlooks the complete irrelevance of this browser.

Extensions

Google has an app store which has thousands of extensions. Among thousands, only 10 of them are useful for you. Extensions help you not to see ads, get 1 year weather forecast, see your daily horoscope, be spammed by your recent emails, etc.

Data Backup

'Accidentally' delete your browsing history, search history, or simply just forgot about something you wrote 2 years ago? Don't worry, google has a copy saved. Thank you google!

Since 2014, Chrome auto-deletes any history older than 3 months, but Google still keeps your search history forever (even if you delete it from your Google account). This means Google wants to keep your history but they don't want you to keep your own history.

Task manager

To its credit, Chrome had a browser task manager well before Mozilla introduced about:performance, about:processes, and about:unloads to Firefox.

Manifest V3

Given that Google is a for-profit advertisement business, it would prefer if people did not block advertisements. For this reason, they invented Manifest V3. To justify it, Google does what they can best and throw around claims of it "protecting" your security and privacy. But it still protects you less than disconnecting from the Internet does!

Web Environment Integrity API

…is perverted shit no one asked for that Google randomly pulled out of their asses some day because they felt like it. No one needed it until Google decided that yes, you do need it, by hyping it up and blowing it out of proportion.

Obviously, "integrity" here refers to the integrity of corporate profits.

Enjoyed having Digital Rape Mechanism on your DVDs and Blu-ray discs? Well, in the near future, it is also coming to the web!

Why you should switch

• Because Firefox 3 is complete shit. (especially sucks when draws a circle around the item you click on.)
• Open source
• Because nobody cares about rainbow blinkies anyway
• Omnibar
• Beta = Leet Hacker
• Help Google take over the world

• More ads
• Increases your ram speed by 1 gigabyte
• Who need's privacy?
• XTREME SPEEDS
• Resembles Pokeball
• It prevents teh mukdipz from taking over your browser:
• Incognito Mode DELETES YOUR IP ADDRESS and lets you look at pr0n without your mom finding out:
• Google needs more computers to perfect Skynet.

Gallery

About missing Pics

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  Chrome, I choose you! Some argue that it is in fact the Metroid logo with Samus in her ball.
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  Once you go chrome, you never go back.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  It will make you better. Stronger. Faster.
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  open sores.
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  Chrome pony fucking a human.
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  Chrome virus not to be confused with the web browser.
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  Proof of anon's love for Chrome.
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  Incognito mode is useless for CP
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  Flawless victory
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  Google has a fetish against their preferred OS

The Jewish Takeover, a taxi driver writes

Prior to 9/11 the Jews were conspiring to take over the internet in an operation known only as Web 2.0. It was devolved in early 2000 as a predecessor to YouTube. However Netscape navigator proved to be to much of an opponent and Chrome was canceled. Use extreme caution while using Chrome as it is believed to emit mind-controlling radio waves to make you buy flu shots.

Fork

Some people didn't quite like the way Chrome's icon looked like. So they downloaded the source and painted the icon blue. Hence cometh Chromium.

See also

• Explorer
• Firefox
• Opera
• SeaMonkey
• Safari
• Google Ultron

External Links

• http://www.google.com/chrome/
• Which browser is the best?

Google Chrome is part of a series on Softwarez Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.