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Gersh Kuntzman
Gersh Kuntzman✡ is a Jewish journalist and Jew who writes shit for New York Daily News. A day after Omar Mateen's cleansing of the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, Kuntman decided that he would attempt to get into the mind of the terrorist killer by shooting an AR-15 rifle for the first time – but Gersh was just too Jewish and ended up suffering from "PTSD" as a result of merely firing a gun.
As a noble journalist, Gersh then made it his mission to inform the masses that guns are loud and scurry and bad by writing an article – unfortunately for him, the only thing that the fine citizens of the internets learned from his article was the fact that Gersh Kuntzman is a huge fucking sissy.
The Triggering
Back in June of 2016 a cock wombling poof pansy by the name of Gersh Kuntzman (not just a clever name) got tired of base jumping ass crack ravines and playing butt pool and decided he'd find out what all this "gun control" fuss was all about by shacking up, er hooking up,... fuck it, there's no nice way to put this, he found the nearest openly gay gun store owner and got a "personal lesson" in firearms, if you know what I mean. This resulted in a hilariously sad editorial piece on guns in which Kuntzman's fingers made his ass jealous by the enormity of bullshit he managed to fudge pack into an online opinion piece on the horribly frightening AR-15 "assault rifle". The article featured about as much sincerity as a fundamentalist Christian preacher caught with his pants around his ankles in the back room of a gay bar whilst entertaining the local plumbers union...
—Gersh the Kunt Man |
The "Man" Behind The PTSD
Kuntsman is best described as an extreme liberal weenie troll with a sordid victim complex and a penchant for verbal masochism and humiliation. His style and behavior is so pedantically formulaic that he shows about as much depth and personality as a 90s gay sitcom character. His formulaic pattern of behavior generally adheres to the following progression...
- 1. Find an overly biased, faulty liberal wingnut ideology.
- 2. Write an op-ed piece based on such ideology using as much incoherent exaggeration as possible.
- 3. Garner mass levels of righteous hatred and hostility for outright lying in the most disingenuous way possible.
- 4. Once said animosity reaches viral proportions begin incessantly whining and complaining about it.
- 5. Write a follow up article ignoring every good argument, victimize yourself and express naive confusion over the reaction.
- 6. Rinse and repeat.
Although the recent "gun control" hit piece is his most infamous example, Kuntzman has actually done this same song and dance time and time again. In another article, for example, he proudly issued the ultimatum that American baseball leagues needed to get rid of the tradition of singing "God Bless America" because it "offends everybody". The irony of course being that his blatant stupidity had just "offended everybody" in the nation to the point of screaming for his death and deportation. Kuntzman of course ate right into that American man-ass butthurt and trollishly fondled his shit covered cock with homomasochistic delight.
Kuntzman Gets A New Holster
Mocking and counter-trolling Kuntzman is considered a sport in and of itself, largely as a result of his need to publicly humiliate himself to further his victim complex. This has led to an ever increasing escalation of attempts to relentlessly insult and disparage the proverbial clown-child Kuntzman makes himself out to be; with the intended hope that whatever cuttingly creative form you use winds up featured in one of the self-mutilating pity party articles that follow in the aftermath of his liberal trollquakes.
This takes on many forms, in the case of the anti-gun article tons of people sent in pictures and videos of their small children shooting AR-15s as a means of mocking Kuntsman's supposed PTSD, as well as a whole slew of counter articles filled with blistering comebacks and emasculating invectives, many of them written by female gun owners such as this scathing, 3rd degree ice-burn from Sara Tipton...
—BOOM! *mic drop* |
Daddy Issues
Gersh and his father have recently been on rocky ground as a result of the presidential election and in classic Gersh form he decided it would be a bright idea to take his family affairs to the press, plastering their sordid familial drama all over the Interwebs in an overly cringe worthy debacle of voyeuristic humiliation that wound spanning nearly a DOZEN different articles over the course of about two months...
Spoofs
Captions
Sissybitch Gallery
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Jew confirmed.
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Kuntzman trying to sneak into the men's room!
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Yes, he really posed nude. No one is sure why.
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This guy is so doofy he's a parody of himself.
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Kuntzman cosplay.
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Touching men excites Gersh.
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The homo gun store owner who "assisted" Gersh.
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Facebook already has a pussy, it doesn't need a second one.
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Yes, he really is this clueless.
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You know yer a little weenie when someone steals your bike.
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Bye, bye, bicycle!
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You're no longer allowed to wear pants, Kuntzman!
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How Gersh like to "take it".
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Spot the Jew!
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At one point he went around stealing other people's garbage.
See Also
Kuntzman Article (liberal troll) Links
- Original gun control article in its entirety.
- Politicians are not role models — and neither is Jesus.
- I interrupted Trump supporters repeatedly to see how they felt about it.
- Congratulations to America's Olympic medalists — you're all a bunch of freaks.
- It's totally a thing to rub the Wall St. bull’s testicles
- Cincinnati gorilla tragedy shows why we need to close zoos now
Gersh Kuntzman is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article October 13 & 14, 2016 | ||
Preceded by Laci Green |
Gersh Kuntzman | Succeeded by Mescaline |