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Krummlauf
Originally appearing on the freenode IRC network in 2008, krummlauf instantly proved to be a promising troll. Racially aware and committed to exposing the ways of the Jew and the NWO, he labored around the clock exploring the conspiracies of the Elders of Zion. Claiming to be a green eyed Iranian Aryan from the East, he was welcomed with open arms by the anti-Jewish warriors of the West. And then, like the unexpected blast of a suicide bomber, he was exposed to be what he hated most: a Jew.
Background
As Iranian half-Jew Muslims, his family subsisted on a diet of camel shit cakes earned from pimping his mother out on rugs to Arab business men on the border between Iran and Iraq during the First Gulf War. After saving up enough money they moved to America by loading themselves into shipping crates, taking their shirts off and pretending to be gorillas.
Upon arriving to the United States, krummlauf became a C- graduate in Philosophy from a state university, and has since been philosophizing about his extended period of unemployment while honing his credentials as an underachiever.
Unemployed as long as he has been chatting on IRC, he blames Jews for his fail at life, the unibrow he shaves biweekly and his renown status as a human roflcopter. In a rage against the world and activated by his handler in Tel-Aviv, he began his mission on freenode's political channel ##politics. His reputation quickly grew as a absolute troll and his infamy spread to other servers as he joined them and users spread his legacy.
Ban from Freenode ##politics
One fateful morning, channeling his Jewish instincts, krummlauf threatened to molest the Aryan children of a channel op and was promptly banned and never able to return again. At that time he chatted under the nick finkelstein. He moved his freak show to Undernet, EFnet and first made his appearances in #GNAA on hardchats.
The Prophecy
One particular wise sage on efnet noted krummlauf's strange and absurd obsession with Jews and made an apocalyptic prophecy about krummlauf that users greeted as being utterly ridiculous and ludicrous. Time, however, the destroyer of all things, proved that he was absolutely correct.
Presence on GNAA IRC
After clasping his hands together and scheming, he managed to acquire access to K-LULZ radio, and began broadcasting. With a grand total of 2 listeners, the channel quickly became fed up of hearing his whiny proclamations of the greatness of the Koran and defenses of his Arab heritage. They had never before seen such desperation for approval. The channel quickly turned on him and he was subsequently stripped of all broadcast privileges.
krummlauf now chats on hardchats under the nick asafoetida.
Exposure as a Jew
After bragging to the channel #freepolitics on EFnet about his adventures tricking and drugging white women into sucking his circumcised Jew-cock, an enterprising user searched okcupid until he found the most Semitic looking user and confronted krummlauf. Quickly admitting it was indeed him, he went silent for nearly an hour. Users were shocked to find out that he was a Jew. Included in his profile was an lol proclamation that he was "Not Jewish, but Persian damnit." Laughter rang out from users on 4 separate networks: freenode, undernet, efnet and hardchats. Krummlauf immediately responded and his okcupid profile Madoff and vanished without a trace, never to be seen again.
Meltdown
krummlauf's ensuing meltdown was of epic proportions. His friends attempted to counsel him and bring him to grips with the fact that he indeed looked like a Jew. He, however, resisted this attempt.
Other users were in a catatonic state of shock.
krummlauf did the only thing one could do in such a situation: ragequit. As suddenly as he left, he returned, and users encouraged him to leave IRC forever and start a new persona since nobody liked him anymore, thereby ensuring continuity to the legacy of the Wandering Jew in the digital age. However, obstinate like a camel on the Highway of Death, he refused to move, even after being brought to awareness bluntly that his IRC career as an anti-Jewish troll has ended:
Nevertheless, krummlauf persisted in a generalized troll against different users, accusing them of being Jews, Niggers, Mexicans, and pedophiles of varying degrees. He has since amplified the use of his favorite trolls: scatological (earning finkelstein the coveted nickname fecalstain) and urinatory.
Quotations
—noting divisions in his brood. | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Further Developments
Preliminary investigations note that he may be receiving instructions from a beacon in the Giv'at Ze'ev settlement through a microchip implanted in his banana nose. Interceptions of the communique indicate that krummlauf was activated as a self-hating Jewish troll to further the case of the absurdity of anti-Semitism as part of ongoing Israeli PsyOps designed to prolong the War on Terror. However, since his cover has been effectively blown, it is widely recognized in the covert community that it has become massive PsyOops.
Interceptions of the beacon communique indicate that krummlauf's codename is Mordekrummlauf ✡, a portmanteau of his birth name and IRC handle badged with the perennial symbol of Jewry.
A team of Scientologists, pedophiles, psychiastrists, behavioral psychologists, researchers and historians remain on vigil to note any further developments.
Since krummlauf's brutal exposure which entered the annals of IRC history, he has since completely disappeared from IRC and not been seen on Skype or his usual net hangouts. Although search parties are currently still looking for him or his remains, it is rumored in some circles that he has since become an hero in the incinerating blast of a MOSSAD sponsored false flag suicide bomb.
Of more important note, however, is that since his departure from IRC, the channels which he used to frequent literally doubled in size almost immediately, no longer taxed by the outrageous cost of his incessant and unremitting idiocy and generalized trolling.
See also
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Krummlauf is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
