Internet Tough Guy

Note that the whitest, flimsiest looking one is the one cracking his knuckles.

Always male (as there are no girls on the internet), the Internet Tough Guy, also known as a Keyboard Warrior, talks big shit online, and doesn't afraid of anything. No way he's skittish to casually throw around ep1c one-lieners like "go fuck yourself," or "u aint done sucking my dick." He swears a lot just to show how hardcore he is. God help you if you even dare defy him by delivering retorts when he says something to you, or practicing logic on his userpage, or even reading what he posts and writing replies of disagreement relating exactly to what you just read... No, you can't do that. No. No. You don't even know him or what he's about. Internet Tough Guy isn't someone you should mess with, ever. That's right, you cross the line and he will come to your house and fuck you up so bad and rape you so hard and kill you so dead OH SHIT. You must have pissed yourself by now from these horrific threats of bodily harm.
Actually, IRL he's a total fag or a basement-dweller, with a high chance of being a redneck and/or skinhead. The sad reality is that these people are a concentrated form of noob, not one of whom can grasp the concept that they obviously are never actually going to be able to make good on their intimidating remarks, or that their low-I.Q. ramblings do not impress the Internet nor physically affect people on it in any way. More simply put, when nobodies such as themselves make empty, loudmouth-prick statements to unknown persons whom they have never met and do not know the locations of, it does not equal being a badass, becoming dominant, nor actually going full ass-rape/ass-kick on someone. Most Internet Tough Guys are really into computer programming, or, at the bare minimum, love videogaming, heavy metal, and perhaps working for RBS, the investment bank that hires a lot of fake tough guy cunts. The typical Internet Tough Guy can be found in nearly every community on LJ but often resides in his parent's basement for at least 7 days a week (and not because he's trying to make it into an imaginary apartment, either). Usually, his parents banished him to the unfinished, wet, moldy, cold and dark basement because they couldn't stand either his smell or the fact that he is a disgrace to the family name. 99.9999% chance he is also subject to frequent pwning. By everyone. (He won't admit it, though. He "won" because he swore a lot. And disabled replies.) From furry communities to political communities, the Internet Tough Guy is one of many stock users that make up a community.

Sub-Species and Similar Breeds

Jewish faggot wearing "The Bouncing Fags" shirt. He's trying to look tough.

Bitches don't know about my diet and exercise plans

Furfags

Many furries are Internet tough guys, as well. Fed up with fursecution at the hands of trolls, they often resort to threats of physical violence and will start talking about how much they can bench press. Mentioning muscle mass, level of physical fitness, etc. are all a part of being an Internet tough guy. By mentioning this they feel they are intimidating their opponents, but in reality making them LOL ~~IRL~~ REPEATEDLY. The trolls they are, sometimes they might say to a man who commented on a hot girl that "if she was my daughter, you'd be singing Soprano", when the truth is, this guy DOES sing Soprano, he couldn't find a wife or have kids if he wanted to, and if he really saw you, he'd shit his pants in fear. His disagreement over a hot girl confirms that he's a fag, but most people forget to remind him of that, and take the tough guy bait and end up in an e-war.

ITGs will often claim to be part of such manly occupations like being a marine, fireman, or police officer and will try to use acronyms and other important sounding terminology in conversations when in reality they are usually some basement-dweller who touches himself while watching Rambo.

Stalker

Other behavior that ITGs take part in is harassment. An ITG like Nickolaus might harass you via AIM or ICQ or leave you voicemail and call you a big fag. This just increases the lulz. Sometimes, the Internet Tough Guy will threaten legal action or try to dig up dirt on their opponent. The Kadaitcha Dancers attempted to do this to Finestdrops in 2004, but failed miserably.

The ITG is not to be confused with someone who says what they actually think online and say it frankly, such as a so-called online stalker flaming back after an attention whore has flamed him to begin with (and then complains about him).

You can also find these internet tough guys on lol sites, like MySpace and Facebook

Internet Asshole

These guys love to flame you for the lulz. It is interesting to note that the Internet tough guy's arch-nemesis is the Internet asshole, despite the fact that they share many of the same characteristics. Because the Internet tough guy is so much more mature than you and everyone you'll ever meet, he will frequently call the victim a 'child', 'young one' and 'shotacon', as well as other kind of almost not so insulting names, implying youth and frailty. They might even call them 'boy' because, as you already know, there no girls on the internet. They will also get extremely butthurt if the things they say are called threats. They prefer to call everything they say "facts", because they are so much moar smarter than you, and so much moar maturerer than you.

The Internet tough guy may take on the guise of a White Knight, which basically involves all the nerdrage with half the CAPS. Alternatively, he might try and stick up for IRL people, knowing his hollow boasts will never need to be followed through. Such is the modus operandi of El_Emmennopea, fat furry from IMDb.

Sometimes, the internet tough guy will actually be somewhat "tough". However, this makes him about four times more of a total fag.

If someone threatens you online, that's it. Game over man. Game over! You are d-e-a-d, DEAD! Nothing can save you. Not even that new dog you just bought. You might as well kill yourself now.

	“	kerrect my grammer much more yelping dogs and i kerrect ur life and make it ded.	„
	—Qaopan, instilling fear throughout Forumfall.

	“	yes, i could kill you. very easily. i am in no way saying i shall, or that i wish to, just that i could. with great ease.	„
	—esteigs, who can do this because of his assassin learnings.

	“	Any more heat based on my flames, and I'll dip into my savings to fly to whichever basement you reside in, pass your over protecting parents, and beat the shit out of you and kill your family.	„
	—Phantom, who apparently can afford to fly on the wages of an obese unemployed WoW addict.

	“	Foolish child. Revealing that much about yourself on the internet. I think you owe my sister, abaikgirl, an apology. She has had the same experiences as you and has three books in the making. But at least she doesn't brag about it. Try not to be so inflammatory on the internet here. Especially since you don't know who we might be. You're liable to get yourself into a lot of trouble. This is NOT a threat. Merely some friendly advice. I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn't be so abrasive here. We have enough younglings here on gaia that have that mentality without us older and wiser folks contributing to the fray. I offer this as a courtesy because a number of my friends who are also gaians will not be so kind. Again NOT a threat. Simply a fact. Thank you for your time. Best wishes.	„
	—Doctor Tarr, in response to hurting e-sister's feelings. Is also under the delusion that good grammar is VRY SKRY

	“	i laugh at ppl like u. i send comments for a reason. u dont know who the fuk you r tlkin to because first of all im not blk. ur brain is jus as tiny if my comments got to u. u cant call anyone a nigger but ur damn self and ur worthless parents for teachin u such ignorance. they deserve to b just as dead as u. u have the nuts to send me a comment like that but i guarantee u wouldn't have enough of them to bring ur ass to 220 lobdell hwy in port allen Louisiana 70767. i just gave u my address so im about wuteva anytime anywhere. i will beat the fuk out of u. girl or guy. u can tlk about how poor blks r but oprah, obama, and all blk celebrities have more than u r ur trashy family or friends have. u will not get far in life thinking the way you think. and thats comin from someone with auburn hair and blue eyes. take a bite out of that one and stay the fuk out of my business and wut the fuck i comment on. if your name wasnt mentioned then it hasnt shit to do with u. wut i eat dont make u shit so get a life. i only do this shit cuz im bored at wrk. i have not a hint of racism in me but fuk wit me and you will hate ur own kind when me and my crew finish with u. now determine wut color i am bitch.	„
	—Kscottreal responding to "stfu nigger", proving with violent threats that he is indeed a nigger.

	“	"-U wanna play with the big boys u gonna get ripped on; i.e. I'm not holding back on u. Fuck off, kid." "-~ hey u wanna get punched in the fuing head dude, come on down here & talk to me like u do. seriously. :) Nobody talks sh to me in real life; they know better for obvious reasons; one I'm super cool; & secondly I'm super tough."	„
	—dsoibel from YouTube, who took time out from his daily routine of fapping to dog porn to type out an incoherent threat.

	“	Lol I could kick your ass easily.Look at you kid.You're like 130 pounds and about 5 ft 6.Thats just an assumption im making just by watching your video.Anyone could easily compare me and you and determine the victor in the fight bro.I'd come up top.But if you wish to prove me wrong we could settle this in person. I'd gladly give you my address if you want.And btw I could care less about subscribers.Im on youtube to watch videos and sub others if they got content that I like.	„
	—auron2214 from Youtube, admitting he cums first when he's topping kids.

	“	Oh of course, it's time to move out of your mother's house and WORK HARD. Get plastic surgery.and a life, or I'd jump on your fat stomach. ManifestContent owns my sperm, to swallow, but he has to get them out of your mouth first for you swallowed quite a lot.	„
	—SeventhSun (commenting to the user Nintega)

	“	real funny faggots. you think this is a joke? yea making fun of me is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Corp. and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander you're in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT!	„
	— US Marines apparently can't spell "guerrilla warfare".

	“	oh I'm soooooooooo scared goatfucker. Yeah that's right I called you a goatfucker, GOATFUCKER! what the fuck are you gonna do about it, you pussy-ass piece of shit? if you find out where I live and come to my house just know this you fat piece of shit: I'll be ready for you, with a baseball bat in one hand and a big fuckin' knife in the other. I'm going to shove the bat up your ass and as for the knife, well, you'll have to come here and find out where I put that, fucker. So come get me you fucking faggot-ass cuntnugget. I could kick your fucking ass so fucking hard you'll shit my Size 14 Doc Martens for a month. I'll fucking curbstomp your little monkey ass, you horsefucker. If you so much as get within fifteen miles of me I'll fucking know it, buddy. I'm waiting, and if you FUCK WITH ME one more goddamn time, they won't be able to ID your corpse.	„
	— Reply to the previous; trolls trolling trolls.

	“	you wanna fucking fight kid well guess what I just hacked your IP address. yea thats right you can't do shit you fucking pussy... if you try to start ANY MORE shit with me, I'll hack the shit out of your computer so be warned you terrorist piece of shit. and if you try to come to my house just be warned that I know Kung Fu and have a GUN so if you wanna start some shit I'll fuckin be ready to kick the shit out of you. You've been warned, motherfucker. don't FUCK WITH ME again.	„
	— Reply to previous, who apparently can't do anything if someone else knows his IP address.

	“	Oooooooh I'm so scared, you think you're tough pussy? I'm behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy!1111!!1 which I all keep up-to-date. THAT'S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME motherfucker. You can't hack me you little piece of shit. You're peeshooter and kung fu won't make a difference when my friend woh's a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard into a fuckhuge bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you're sitting there writing insults like the sad little nerd you are i'm having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that motherfucker, I dont think you've ever even held hands with a girl. I'm done here, i'm gonna have sex with my bitches and leave you writing angry comments all day and night like the piece of filth nerd you are.	„
	— Reply to previous, tl;dr U CAN'T HACK I GOT NORTON

	“	checked ur profile. u got femminem on ur friends list. ima tell u right now u don't fuck with a juggalo. unless u want ur ass surrounded by 20 clowns decked with bats and hatchets. MURDER GO ROUND! MURDER GO ROUND! HOW U GONNA FUCK WITH A WICKED CLOWN?! WHOOP WHOOP MUTHA FACKU	„
	— Myspace Juggalo, ruminating on the mechanisms of magnets.

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Serious Fucking Business

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Tough Guy Quotes

	“	[15:58] XXXX: with my testicles dangerling too [16:02] XXXX: What I ment is I'll stomp your bullshit and sooner or later other people take offense and join yourside and I'll stomp them too. [16:02] XXXX: Good luck banning me Im proxy expert [16:02] XXXX: and I can wipe my index.dat no problem..	„
	—IRC is serious business for 13 year olds.

	“	i'll slit you neck and watch you bleed to death you pathetic waste of fucking life i hope you god is as powerful as they portray his fucking shit because when i am finished with you he'll need to rearrange yo shit and scene damn cant you spell it at all seeing on how your the expert of this when the bands you like are third world wanna be's and to add i live in america but i am brit dumb shit shows what you learn from stalking my shit lurking little bitch and fuck your shit scene is a label nice to see the immature little bitches from other country's who act as if they are in middle school or is it that you didn't get that far in life you think your pathetic little insults work that they make me depressed or emo or what ever you dumb fucks call it when i could swear that you live in a conformist country full of the same damn wanna be's when i am here as who i am chris not scene.scene kids are pussies who change with the time emo's bitch about how sad they are fuck that dumb shit fuck they don't even drink German beer or liq. what the fuck is that stop acting like a prick who has no dick from my point of view you are a virgin in the world of women who want nothing to do with you so grow the fuck up you sad waste of life.	„
	—CHRISCRISISONLINE - VF user, THERE IS A SHORTAGE OF FULL STOPS, EVERYONE DO YOUR PART

	“	wtf tough guy wow what the hell is that this isn't the 50's fuck face wow and its sad because some dumb ass started talking shit wait that was you fucking retard-o good job because in my eyes you are trying to be bad ass with you fuck america and fuck this and that blah blah scene emo scene emo fuck you damn retard i think you are hiding something were you ass raped isn't that how it goes in other countries fuck face you must be emo or scene to know so much about it	„
	—Again, CHRISCRISISONLINE who has a bad allergy to commas.

	“	Remember when nerds were into Star Trek? Now they've found the computer key board to be tough on. Especially when they address women. Or anybody anonymously. And before you nerds with vaseline on your hands start hurling nasty words at me, I AM a modern day samurai for real. Level four prison is my playground. I couldn't care less about you and your kids. I'll see them or you soon enough.lol	„
	—"Samurai" who apparently is plotting to rape kids.

	“	i cant really find a place to write this due to the lack of ablity to make a good fuckin site easy for the customer input i can alrdy tell this game is givein into hackers an helping them ..let me make this very fckin clear fix ur mother ufcking game our i swear to fuckin god u made the worst enemy u ever made u wanna fu kin make a game bu not fuckin fix the hacking problem get real and i swear to god fix ur fuckin problem our ill figure out where ur servers our an blow them the fuck up.	„
	—13 year old who thinks "fuck" is a conjunction.

	“	don't worry cracked.com! if i ever meet any son of a bitch writer for encyclopedia dramatica i will kill him in the name of the all mighty cracked! they've filled the internet with sooo many god damn cat pictures with sayings such as "i haz furz" that i can't even begin to count.	„
	—Butthurt nub, praising the Ceiling Cat and confusing ED with LOLcats.

	“	Shut The Fuck up Bitch before i go out of my way to find out who you are, then u will be meeting face to face with my hachet	„
	—Dumbass 13-year-old, who threatens us all with the terror of badly spelled weaponry.

	“	Whores devour their own shit! Just after slurping up milk from man meat I make fresh daily. These slutty McBitches do it for me after they see me beat fuckers senseless. I can freeze you with fire and thaw you with ice, all gotdamn day if I please. You are a walking dead man and I am your ticket to Lucci-fur you ignoramous!	„
	—Someone who loves slurping man milk, apparently.

	“	FUCK YOU. If I knew who you were, I would punch you in the temporal lobe. Thanks for giving me a headache and damaging my high-frequency hearing, you fucking asshole.	„
	— someone who can punch you IN THE BRAIN.

	“	I seriously hope you have a mild CVA or suffer neurotrauma sufficient enough to permanently damage YOUR hearing too. FUCK YOU.	„
	—Bryce (though he's usually not on)

	“	No one sacked up and met me i see. you just proved my point, you're a bunch of pansies who just talk without backing it up. i'm willing to let you go on with your pointless sarcastic threads abotu karate kid 3, just admit that u shoudlnt have disrespected me in the first place if u were too p-ssy to back it up. admit that and i'm outa here to a place where people appreciate what the movie is about. how can u call the threats empty when i am offerring to meet up and everyone who disrespected me is too chump to do so? i just think, if u are going to get up the sack to disrespect me, u should at least have the sack to meet up and back up the words tonight u can meet up with me at the new york city subway station, gate 5, 8pm. ill be there to catch the L to an appointment at 8, but i'll get there earlier so we can settle up, 6pm? 7pm? way to shoot out insults all weekend while i am not even near a computer. u guys are really stand up guys. whatever. keep on with your bs. all i know is i gave a location and what i looked like and what ill be wearing. u can say it's fake all u want, but it isn't. no one will come see for themselves. to tell u the truth, i am exhausted from all this. ill just let u guys keep on with the insults and chalk it up to you all just being internet wannabe thugs. ill just go back to talking about the wire. i am exhausted from saying the same things over to u pansies	„
	—Queensonny AKA THE DON:The Original Internet Tough Guy.

	“	real funny faggots. you think this is a joke? yea making fun of me is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggot	„
	—Juggalo Tough Guy on b

	“	You are viewing this message because ED is currently under siege by editors of Wikipedia. What we try to offer is free knowledge to the world. Instead, you got people like Grawp, and people who take them for granted. It's called insecurity, people! So, anyway, you guys suck You guys are people Who have nothing better to do than to pick on innocent TOW editors, like Sceptre. This is why you never fuck with Wikipedia Because this is what will happen Please do cease and desist immediately And find something else to do!	„
	—MILKY (This was a failed threat made during a BLANKING IN PROGRESS. Serious business for sure.)

	“	Thats the point dumbfuck, i said i could and want to kill you, but their not death threats	„
	—Of course not.

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[-+]Dealing with the Horrors of the Internet Tough Guy

DID YOU WRITE THIS? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WORRYING ABOUT YOUR FUTURE,HOUSING AND EDUCATION! AT LEAST YOU HAVE A FUCKING NORMAL FUNCTIONING BRAIN? OR DON'T YOU????? MY SON IS AUTISTIC AND I WOULD SPEND MY LAST DOLLAR TO MAKE HIM HAVE A LEAST HALF A NORMAL LIFE!! MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING CUNT!! IF I KNEW WHO YOU WERE YOU GUTLESS FUCKING FREAK I'D KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS YOU HORRIBLE PEICE OF SHIT YOUR GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!

This woman has contacted me and said some very offensive and inflammatory. Here is what was said, be aware of her and ignore her.

Alexandra Kayukov

Today at 11:00am

Report Message

It costs six million dollars to take care of one Autistic person. How many houses can be built for the same price? Sandra Gallagher This is my message to her and her subsequent response.

Today at 12:46pm Me: I am sorry but I am confused as to why you have sent me this message and exactly where you get your facts. All, I would say is that if that was your child, what would you think they were worth?

Alexandra Kayukov:

Today at 10:57pm

I saw you in one of the Autism groups. I've seen many sources on the internet, both videos and articles, that tell the price of Autistic people. I definitly value giving between four and 60 people homes, depending on what else they recive, to be better than my personal pleasure. For half the six million dollars, I could have been given a good home and be able to attend college to get a good job and contribute back every penny of the money. I'd also be able to work to progress technology.

Me:

I am confused as how you can make the connection between the cost of helping people with autism and housing. Helping people with autism doesn't take anything away from you or anyone else, as well I question your numbers. Certainly, there is a cost but even if no money was spent on helping autistic people that would not mean there would be more housing or that you could go to college. Autism affects 1 in 150 kids, are you saying that noone should help these kids? What do you propose be done? I think that you have a very distorted view on this matter and some misguided views. I would be far more upset about the billions of dollars that are spent on war and other irresponsible, wasteful projects. Helping children reach their full potential is not taking anything away from you and I suggest you get your facts straight before you approach a parent of an autistic child again and accuse them of taking away something from you. If you do not have a house or a college education that is not because of the help that autistic people receive, your blame is misplaced and hurtful. Millions of parents around the world are brought to the point of bankruptcy helping their children because insurance won't help them. What is next will you be confronting parents of other disabled children, people living with cancer or some other disease and blaming them for your personal failings?

I have reported her and subsequently blocked her, she is obviously misguided and mistaken and feels entitled to harrass people.

Sincerely,

Sandra

About missing Pics

How to fail at threatening.
Internet tough guy-ing in progress.
They even exist on Facebook.
Your average "Internet Tough Guy" when hes not acting tough on the internets.

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Internet tough kid in a game. (Notice how his name begins with "emo")
Facebook tough guy reacts to a troll.
Internet tough guy reacts to Mitchell trollin' emo videos. and his "NO U"s
Badass Internet homie.
Indians take YouTube very seriously.
Example of an Internet tough guy.
She killed Kennedy IRL.
Maximum power.
Pure Catholic fury.
NOT EVEN KIDDING.
Fatty ITG fail.
An Internet tough guy on the CNN blogs.
The epic battle rages on.
Serious fucking business over failbook.
Failbook tough guy is waiting...
He knows where you live because he backtraced you!

IRL Tough Guys

Gallery of Internet Tough Guys About missing Pics

Granny is trying to get him laid
Talk shit about my Turbo Grafx-16 and 3DO and you'll get sued!
NEVER INSULT MY E-GIRLFRIEND!
Rawr.

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Internet tough kid will fuck you up!
COME AT ME BRO
A Furry internet tough guy.
Bitches don't know about the Arbiter.
Big Robo: Prime example of an internet tough guy.
Nothing says you are badass like a katana and a pair of cat ears.
A prime example of an internet tough guy.
Another prime example
Angry. Angry old man.
BITCH SHOW ME UR FACE SO I CAN POUND J00!!111
He's watching you.
What he really looks like.
Your average ZDaemon tough guy.
Bunlckr <3's internet muscle.
Internet Tough Guy wields majik cyberjujitsu to battle online AIDS wearing full-body condom.
Some ITGs have swords so don't mess with them!
Two of the internet's most famous internet tough guys.
You kno u fokin' with?
When computer h4x phail, there's a last resort.
WHY DONT U COME OVER 2 MY HOUSE AND SAY THAT 2 MY FACE I WILL FUCK U UP1!!!!111 lol, i sure showed them!!1
Every internet tough guy's favorite magazine.
For big-shot tough guys, there's ITG Quarterly.
Even internet tough guys stick to the rules of the internet. Namely, Rule 34.
Internet tough guy of Youtube being butthurt.
yeah
No wonder he's so popular on Deviantart
Just look at him now...
And then. "i gotta go"
You crossed the line
Typical youtube tough guys
I'm back faggots
Internet tough guy on chatroulette

Internet tough guy on chatroulette
Internet tough guy's don't ask, they demand
Wanna take this outside?
Internet tough guy 101