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Party Van
Also known as The Authorities, The Feds or the FBI, the Party Van is SERIOUS BUSINESS, designed to help corporations throw you in jail for sharing ones and zeroes—despite sharing being the basis of our human society.
THIS WEBPAGE OF THE INTERNETS IS BEING OBSERVED BY THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION UNDER AUTHORITY OF THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT FOR VIOLATION OF FEDERAL LULZ MANDATES AS DEFINED BY THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT.
AS A VISITOR, YOU MAY BE REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE IN AN EXTENSIVE BACKGROUND TEST. YOUR DISTINCTIVE FINGERPRINTS, SCARS, FORDYCE'S SPOTS, HAIR COLOR, HAIR TYPE, DATE AND TIME OF BIRTH, HEIGHT, WEIGHT, GENDER, ETHNIC BACKGROUND, FAT DISTRIBUTION, OCULAR SURFACE, BLOOD TYPE, BLOOD PRESSURE, CHROMOSOME COUNT, INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT, SAT SCORE, EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT, EPIDERMAL TENSILE STRENGTH, NEURAL IMPULSE QUADRATURE MODULATION FREQUENCY, MOLAR MASS, PENIS/CLITORIS GIRTH, CLOCK SPEED, NEGRO-HORMONE LEVEL, MIDICHLORIAN COUNT, OT LEVELS, THETAN DETECTION, SPERM COUNT, GREY MATTER VOLUME, CARPAL DERMAL TISSUE CONDUCTIVITY, HEAT OF VAPORIZATION, FIRST IONIZATION ENERGY, SALIVARY VISCOSITY, STOOL CONSISTENCY, SPECIFIC HEAT, RESONANCE STRUCTURE, CRYSTALLINE PACKING STRUCTURE, ANAL DIAMETER, BRUCE TREADMILL TEST SCORES, BODY MASS INDEX, BODY-FAT PERCENTAGE, PERSONALITY TYPE, VO2 MAX, LETHAL DOSES FOR VARIOUS CHEMICALS, ACOUSTIC ABSORPTION CHARACTERISTICS, OTHER BIOMETRIC DATA, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, FAVORITE COLOR, AND STDS MAY BE DOCUMENTED AND STORED INDEFINITELY AT AN UNSPECIFIED LOCATION WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT AND/OR KNOWLEDGE. THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS MAY, CONDITIONAL TO ITS FAIL AND AIDS AGREEMENT, RELEASE RECORDS DISPLAYING YOUR NAME TO INDIVIDUALS PETITIONING IT UNDER THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT OF 1996.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. YOUR PARTICIPATION ENSURES THE DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM OF AMERICA.
OL Expressions of Gratitude
- Heaneyland!
- "I SAY FUCK THE FBI/RIAA/MPAA AND THE REST OF THE FUCKING BASTARDS GO SCREW YOURSELVES YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Ubersite
- "Forget the fact that I've lived in Canada my entire fucking life, a country who poses absolutely no threat to you whatsoever, and whose navy is less threatening than the fucking Love Boat. Forget the fact that I've been to the States a million fucking times before. Forget the fact that I've never even seen a fucking gun in my life, let alone know how to operate a bomb. With my luck I would probably blow my dick off and still manage to live. And the worse part is, one of the FBI guys was cross-eyed. The bitch was fucking cross-eyed with a giant mole on his forehead. I was scared shitless and trying not to laugh all at the same time. So in short, fuck the FBI." Long story short, whiny Canadian bitches about a completely different country he knows nothing about. Whiny Americunt bitches about a country he couldn't point to on a map. Whiny Canadian continues to bitch cause it's what he and his countrymen(see: pussies) Whiny Can'tnadian pissed off cause his country continues to yield no significance to anything relevant on the world's stage. Nor has his country contributed anything since John Candy.
- WAR on Freedom of the press: Bush & FBI demand weblogs, financial data
- "Fuck our monkey boy president, fuck his trigger happy VP whore, fuck the FBI and fuck anyone else who's got the power to do something and hasn't."
- High Times: Twelve Arrested in Alleged Pot Candy Operation
- "fuck the fuckin dea, fuck the police, fuck the fbi, fuck the cia, fuck the patriot act, fuck the narcs, fuck the atf" <--UR DOING IT WRONG
- Pigdog Journal - Liberty
- "Yes, that's right -- if you notice that you're being followed and head to the police to report it, the FBI following you will arrest you, ignore the assistant DA's instructions not to charge you, and stash you in jail for half a week. For, er, nothing. 'Cuz they suck. Weenies."
- Fuck u FBI i pwnt your mom last night hardcore. It was some great buttsecks, im gonna rape all your daughters now too for the lulz. Have a nice day lovely people.
- "Yes, that's right -- if you notice that you're being followed and head to the police to report it, the FBI following you will arrest you, ignore the assistant DA's instructions not to charge you, and stash you in jail for half a week. For, er, nothing. 'Cuz they suck. Weenies."
The Copypasta
When trolling as a delicious Loli, when the guy asks for a pic, cam, etc, send him this.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to CPS(Child Protection Services) and local law enforcement agencies. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.
After you send this pasta, the conversation should go like this:
- colin says: u see ma cock?
- Jew says: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 8429l271. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to CPS(Child Protection Services) and local law enforcement agencies. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.
- colin has stopped viewing webcam with you.
- Jew says: Please wait while we process your IP address.
- Jew says: Location found.
- colin says: oh fuck
Gallery
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Party vanned! -
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Busted with your dick in your hand -
"The FBI does not have a sense of humor that we are aware of."
-
...and so is ceiling cat -
Your very own 4chan van! -
This picture no longer alleges in any way that J. Edgar Hoover was anything but a heterosexual. -
The 4CHAN PARTY VAN, fresh off a bust. -
4chan party van demotivator. -
V& -
-
4chan comes to FBI -
-
party service -
Because entrapment can make your career. -
Because entrapment can make your career, ~desu! -
-
Desuchan version, desu~ -
Desuchan version, boku. -
The truth is out there. -
You're doomed if you see it coming -
All aboard the 4chan Party Van! -
PwndPartyvanned -
Exploitable!
Other Sites Pwned By FBI
- Elite Torrents (WHOIS)
- Rate My Boobies
- Rate My Boner
- Rusty & Edie's BBS
- Moonbeams BBS
- Ourfancy
- Conservapedia
- Partyvan.info
- Submit Your Flicks
Takedown Notice OMG
Apparently the Fuckwitted Bastards Institute doesn't like the idea of freedom of the press. On December the 8th, 2010, during the middle of Operation Payback, ED was just doing its usual: documenting the raid, nothing particularly illegal, when they received a cease-and-desist notice from the aforementioned Feds to remove the page. See, some wise members of the Anons had decided to post dox on the various people to attack over the previous few weeks, and the FBI had finally managed to take notice. For some reason, they seemed to think that Sheneequa and Co. were responsible, not the people who edited the artice. Another odd thing was that they never offered to compromise by removing the offending text and just document events as they unfolded.
The FBI threatened to prosecute ED otherwise, and as such they testicularlessly removed the article. At least until this shit blows over, and a legal one without the dox can be put up. For some reason, they think this is the worst ED has been used for. All of this is because the FBI is very unilateral. Hopefully Anons will think a bit better next time before they attack the websites of their own country's government. Still, it raises important questions when a country that has laws explicitly enshrining free speech protects those rights of the people less than countries that don't.
So basically, we can't put that page back up yet. And don't try it either, Anons.
See also
- Australian Federal Police
- FBI redirection
- SWATting
- Brb
- Brb church
- Chris Hansen
- Prison
- B&
- FOIA
- FEMA
- DHS
- Ryan - ED leaders get v& too
External links
- Party Van Insurance.
- OMG, CHECK THIS OUT, BECOME AN HERO!!!
- Official secret Web site
- The FBI's Youtube account. Trolling it will result in jail time.
- Trolled Wiki Farticle.
| Featured article June 26 & June 27, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by 888chan |
Party Van | Succeeded by LulzSec |