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Chris Stone
Honorary Ed Lolington
Chris Stone
is part of a series on
Internet Law.
[With Liberty and Drama for All]
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Case Law
We are all qualified attorneys at lol and every word of these articles is sound legal advice.
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What do you get when you mix a pedophile, a faggot, an e-lawyer, and a journalist? You get Chris Stone, aka Sticky, owner and moderator of Stickydrama: A tabloid about people nobody cares about.
Backstory
Chris, now 30 for the fifth time, started out as a porn videographer. His career wasn't quite lucrative enough, as regular porn is free on the internet, and his misshapen face and dumpy body weren't helping him get the straight man ass he so desperately desired.
Lurking the internet, fugly and alone, he struck gold in 2005 when stickam was invented. One live show and he knew, now was his chance to exploit the attention whores and internet celebrities he so desperately wished to be.
Thus Stickydrama and Stickyn00dz were invented! Websites which documented the shame and naked pictures of stickam users, no matter how young and illegal they were.
Chris Stone Vs. Livejournal
In early 2009, John Hock, an internet celebrity and registered sex offender, was caught raping his girlfriend while she was passed out, all while being captured on his webcam. The news was posted to both Stickydrama and a rival livejournal community called efagz.
Members of efagz responded by reporting the crime to the police, while Chris posted screen captures of the video, allowed stories that called the victim a slut, and revealed her identity. He was more concerned about getting traffic to his website than reporting the crime.
Three months later, after collecting witness testimonies and learning about what Stickydrama actually was, Police officers issued a search warrant for the host of the website, hoping to find the video which Chris had mentioned having. They would have e-mailed him, but at time time he was hiding his true identity, and there was no contact info listed on his website. Once he learned about the warrant, he finally got off his fat ass and sent police the video.
—Chris Stone bawwing about having to do actual work | ||
John Hock was arrested, everyone celebrated, and life went on. That is, until efagz members caught Chris exaggerating his involvement in the case, and gloating about putting Hock in jail. Members couldn't help but out him, and the infamous deleted post was born.
Of all the people who have filed internet lolsuits, very few have actually paid money to sue the internet. Chris Stone is the exception to the rule. He is so butthurt about people who don't like him, that he is taking livejournal to court this August. Instead of being a normal human being, and simply asking the moderators, or even the user who created the entry to take it down, he filed a lolsuit against the community's host. He cried libel, a phrase he often taunted Kiki Kannibal for using, and everyone laughed in his face.
Livejournal just deleted the post and moved on, content not to bother with this drama that they didn't care about. But the members found the post too lulzy to be deleted, and reposted it on blogspot. This caused massive amounts of RAAAAAAGE on Chris's part, but he tried to play it cool.
The post got over 1,000 views in the first week, and continues to get traffic. Empty threats were empty, as they usually are with Sticky. Soon, more serious news sources would catch wind of the situation, and consequences would never be the same.
All the while, in an attempted to keep track of the community, presumably to only increase the chances of winning his libel case against the internet. Posing as a 14 year old girl, Chris was met with cries of SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE and was almost immediately caught.
Use scrollbar to see the full image
Chris and Sextortion
People began ignoring him again, and more viewers were abandoning his boring website for more lulzy sites. Unable to function without attention, the lolcow needed to be milked. Posing as a good person with good intentions, he contacted faux news in an attempt to expose rival sextortionists who were cutting into his business.
<video type="youtube" id="rkgby5c0Fp8" width="480" height="360" frame="false" position="center"/>
Since they can never pass up the opportunity to report bullshit, Faux News ran with the story, allowing Chris, one of the internet's leading sextortionists, to out people like him, all while pretending to be innocent. Again, efagz were on the case, leaving comments on the news report about their source. In an attempt to hide their fail, the webmaster baleeted all comments and disabled any future comments on the subject.
Another flame war of epic proportions raged on, until gawker caught wind of the situation, thanks to a not-so-anonymous tip. Adrian Chen wrote three different articles bashing Chris and his websites, including one about witholding the evidence of rape. Sticky now has two wars on his hands, Gawker AND Efagz. Shouts of libel were heard round the world!
—Chris Stone using his favorite phrase | ||
Adrian wasn't an idiot, nor was he scared like most of Chris's victims. He simply crossed out the typo and corrected the error. Chris had no way to argue back, and used Adrian's location as a cop out. He also threatened the girl who he tried to sextort in the first place.
—Chris Stone pretending he knows the law | ||
Good idea is good, get this image brought into court:
Delusions of Grandure
Sticky is about as delusional as someone can get. He is a textbook internet tough guy, who thinks that his minions will do his bidding. However, his failure may be linked to the fact that his minions are scene whores, groupies, and 14 year old emofags.
—Chris displaying his overwhelming sense of unwarranted self importance | ||
He frequently posts the addresses and phone numbers of those mere mortals who dare cross him in hopes that his twitter followers will troll them IRL. He's even convinced that 4chan will back him.
Chris somehow managed to skirt the law, and twitter's t.o.s., every time. According to Chris, it's perfectly legal to post the private information of people, even when it's not public record, because this one time people used the yellowpages. He must be s-ing someone's d at twitter because they refuse to ban him even though they claim to be against it.
Twitter may not be budging, but Chris got spooked last thursday when the shit hit the fan, and he deleted fucking everything. All but a few tweets remain, his website is up for auction with 0 bids, and his formspring is gone. His court case against livejournal was dismissed. Now he's hiding from the actual police now, as apparently four different people are suing him.
Gallery
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Nice God complex -
That'll teach 'em!
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Chris can use the search feature
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Neither do IRL lawyers -
Sure it is
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Some argue that Chris Stone is a rapist
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You don't, the internet sues you -
SUE FUCKING EVERYONE!!
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Herp
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The second part is true
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LOLschool
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Nobody knows
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LIBELLIBELLIBEL
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See Also
Victims of StickyDrama
Links
- Stickydrama (lol baleeted!) - Don't click, he gets ad revenue.
- Efagz - Feel free to click, they just do it for the lulz
- Chris on Meme Generator
- For google bombing
- Articles on Gawker: 1 2 3 4 5
- Articles on Above the Law: 1 2
- Article on CNM News Network
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Chris Stone is part of a series on Fox News [Over To You] |
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Chris Stone is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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Chris Stone is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
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Chris Stone is part of a series on Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage. |