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Blaze Arctic: Difference between revisions
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{{achtung|Warning! Blaze has recently called the Internet Police on this article!}} | {{achtung|Warning! Blaze has recently called the Internet Police on this article!}} | ||
[[Image:Blazebadgesm.jpg|thumb|Blaze Arctic, a badge that he has posted everywhere and he didn't even make it. ]] | [[Image:Blazebadgesm.jpg|thumb|Blaze Arctic, a badge that he has posted everywhere and he didn't even make it. ]] |
Revision as of 23:49, 18 May 2011
This article is a keg of shit that has been fermenting so long it's just about ready to explode. It is an abhorrence and blasphemy of Encyclopedia Dramatica's good name.
You can help by fixing it or it will be sent to Uncyclopedia. |
Warning! Blaze has recently called the Internet Police on this article! |
—Blaze Arctic |
Somewhere along the line of furfaggotry came along Blaze, a black wolf (so original) who is the biggest typical furfag yet. What Blaze does in his spare time, when he isn't crying for help in his journals for money, he is ripping off commissioners on Furaffinity and bragging about how the condom slipped off when he was fucking his 17 year old girlfriend, who constantly white knight's for him.
He also likes to pretend that he's "popufur" by listing actual popufurs like Serpy in his FA friends list, when really most of the people in said list can't stand him. Besides, we all know noone in the fandom cares about him, because he does not even have a Wikifur page.
His other hobbies include pretending he's on staff at fur cons, plushophilia, pretending he knows shit about computers, and claiming he can fix them, when in reality no sane being would let his stubby paws touch their machine, marching in fursuit parades with no fursuit, professional video editing, and fursuit repair. And by repair we mean "Putting the suit on and destroying it moar by rolling around on the filthy ground with it".
In addition, he likes to b'aww to his "lawyer" and "private investigators" over matters such as, this very article. Even though he clearly has no money to live, let alone hire such a person over internet drama. He was last seen contacting private investigators over this article, forgetting the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.
History
Blaze first became popular whoring himself out on SecondLife to other furries, or even humans, for lindens (currency in Secondlife). After having his ass split apart by a werewolf, he would be given the lindens, convert it into real money (Though, it couldn't have been much, since one thousand lindens is only seven bucks) to keep whatever shack of a home he stayed in, and move off to another host to latch himself onto like a parasite, all for the same redundant sexual acts again. Oh, he likes to think he's Mario too.
Blaze also likes to blame most of the problems he has, or causes, on the abuse he apparently sustained from past foster families, and the fact that he has to deal with a lot of stress while begging for rides to fur cons and choosing whether he feels like fapping to Krystal or Ash Ketchum today. Most of his issues would be solved if he'd grow the fuck up, stop being so obsessed with furry, and get a real job or an hero. Either would work.
Blaze's squeaky voice and handsome features as well as his witty charm could win over any woman, or man...
Blaze has quite a way with the ladies. He was lucky enough to have a relationship with Dark-Goddess, a FurAffinity porn artist, but blew it with her. First, he wanted to make a deal with the infamous furry, pedophile Tora (or "Growley") for a room for the current year's Califur. Either Growley would sleep with Blaze, or he could have sex with her, but Growley wanted to watch. Of course, his girlfriend, who had a brain in her head, told him no. Needless to say, neither attended Califur that year...
Second, he was unable to comprehend basic High School math, therefore he would whine to his girlfriend to sit with him night after night trying to tutor him, when really all he wanted was the answers without learning anything at all. Despite that, he still failed and after getting on his hands and knees and begging to be passed. He was given a deal by the staff to clean the school after classes, and he could get his diploma. Is this legit?
Finally his mate wised up and dumped his ass (Not before finding better dick) which was the epiphany to Blaze that he is indeed, nothing but a furry loser.
Shortly after, his father died, and now uses the death of a man who wasn't even biologically his father as an excuse for everything. Despite the fact that when the man was alive, he would slander his name enough to make Satan cry.
Someone Call Whine-one-one!!!
Blaze is also infamous for constant whining on his FA journal. Leeching money off of other furs, taking overly-priced commissions for his art and begging for rides to every furry convention in the country. It wouldn't be so bad if he were actually using the money he leeched for his house or car, but every time he get's a decent amount of cash in his pocket, it goes straight to furry conventions, another retarded toy, or pokemon cards.
How to recognize Blaze's journals of butthurt on FA:
- If the title states anything to do with "OMG HELP ME D'X" or "I'm in deep shit!!!", you know most definitely it's a journal of him begging for more money.
- If he claims he is open for commissions, when really he means "Give me $8 for me to copypaste a bunch of images together for you"
- If he cries about how he cannot obtain new objects for his car, gas money or college, he's really just looking for a couple $$$ thrown his way to go to the PS or another furry convention.
Besides that, he whines about his heart condition. When really, he would be improving on it if he'd STOP RUNNING AROUND THE FUCKING FUR CONS WITH A DOG SQUEAKER UNTIL HE PASSES OUT FROM HEART FAILURE. He's had to be rushed to the ER for his heart, after running amok around the con, and returned home with a heart monitor.
OrionWolf Medias
As Blaze claims, it is a small company that accepts art commissions from furries. When really it's an imaginary business, where the only "we" involved is himself pretending he is a manager of a corporation.
It's even funnier when he answers his cell phone as the OrionWolf Medias Manager, pretending to be an important corporate individual, when really he's just a hairy spic sitting in his room, fapping to Lucario
Ripping off Commissioners
Blaze takes commissions for badges known as "iPawed" badges. Basically you pay him $8 to copy and paste art he did not make onto an iPod touch template and type your name onto it. Sounds tempting...
Other then that, he takes commissions for reference sheets and other general shit furries throw their money away for. Currently he has three people in his slots who have been waiting almost, or in one person's case over, a year for their commissions.
When confronted about his blatant exploitation of Furaffinity, he simply BLOCKED, E-VICTORY!
Teddy Fucker
There's a rule in the relationship world; never give your significant other something that could be used as blackmail later. Blaze made a video of himself literally raping a pink stuffed teddy bear ruthlessly. Then took it upon himself to send it to his current girlfriend via the internet. She was under-age at the time. It later was posted to Xtube
—Blaze bragging about his huge cock |
The video BAAWWWLEETED
Try this one Baleeted
The Faggotry Today
Blaze Quotes
—Blaze on his Teddy fucking video, whoring himself out again |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
DOX
Dave Rosario III
351 Foxbry Ave
Pomona, CA 91767
United States of America
Home: 1 (909) 593-3339
Cell: 1 (909) 455-8010
MSN/E-Mail: [email protected]
YIM: Blaze_Arctic
AIM: ShnjIkari
Skype: Blaze.Arctic
Wii: 7679 0183 4721 9745
Pokemon PalPad: Blaze 0731 1226 6979
What Blaze does In His Spare Time
When he isn't typing up moar journals begging for money, he's spending his remaining free time that he COULD be using on his owed commissions, on making retarded videos with his sperm-crusted wolf puppet. Note the fake gangster accent, and his undeserved sense of self pride as he pretends he's somebody in the furry fandom and part of staff at every fur con.
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BLAST IT WITH PISS
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Would you let this suck your cock? I know I wouldn't....
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A Blaze, in its natural habitat
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This is where your donations go, peeps 8D
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Not even the watermark in this was made by him.
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Get to the choppah!
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Art isn't his. Template isn't his. Logo isn't his. BUT IT'S ALL COPYRIGHT TO HIM!!111
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Browsing Furaffinity for pokemon scat porn at Califur
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Faggot goes where?
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Cool story, bro
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Naw, you think?
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LOL 6 inches!
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He's so proud!
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Whining hard. Apparently he isn't so proud of his video after all!
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I'm being trolled! 8D Anyways, give me some money...
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El Queero
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$80 and over one year later, this is all the poor sap that commissioned Blaze has received so far.
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Blaze's E-Lawyer
See Also
External Links
- Blaze on Furaffinity
Blaze's DeviantART pageBaleeted due to trollBlaze's ALT DeviantART pageB'aawleeted- Blaze's "company" Website
- Blaze on Facebook
Blaze's journal about his CockBaleetedBlogforumz article on BlazeBALEETED!IT'S BACKDeleted again- Blaze on Livejournal
- Blaze on Youtube
- Blaze on Xtube
- Blaze on Grayvee
Blaze Arctic is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Blaze Arctic is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Do It Faggot] |
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