Christian Spanking Blogs

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The instrument of choice for teaching your kids a lesson.

The Christian Spanking Blogs (CSB) are a collection of blogs about how to spank in a Christian manner.

Raising kids is hard work, the little fucks are always screaming their heads off about something. When it gets to the point where you just can't take it any more, maybe you'll shut the little fuck up by giving them a good smack on the ass. By itself this is not a terribly unusual child-rearing tactic, and many a NORP can be found smacking happily away at his loli's ass. However, there exists a special breed of sick fucks who love loli ass so much they must create websites devoted to it. On these forums they discuss how hard, how often, how naked, and with what objects the loli should be violated with. In doing so they have generated some of the greatest pedo fap material known to man. Enter the wild and whippy world of Spankbloggers! Because we all know that a kind, loving and understanding God wants you to beat the ever loving shit out of your children.

The Average User

The average loving Christian parent, about to deliver a calm chastising to her child.

The average user is an ugly, middle aged, middle to low class mom, who uses screen names that belong to dominatrices like "NoNonsenseMom", "traditionalmother", and "sterndisciplinarian". Men also frequent these forums, posting jizz-soaked fantasies of punishing their daughters while reading off biblical passages that justify, nay, require that they keep it up. However, the great and lulzy difference between this forum and so many others is that children are heavily encouraged to make accounts and talk with complete strangers about getting their panties dropped, thrown across the knee of their father, and disciplined. These retarded, generally southern assholes believe that spanking is the only way to raise a child, and if you don't whip their ass till it bleeds regularly, you will be raising a hell-bound, liberal, out-of-control freak.

Basic Tenets

First and foremost, spankies believe that all spankings should be delivered on the bare bottom. They believe that only liberals spank clothed children. Being almost universally Christian Fundie, or Semi-Fundie fucks, they believe that God only wants the MAN of the house beating up on her and the kids. The daddy has the power to arbitrate all ass-related discipline around the house, and mommy should only deliver the beatings when dad is busy. They also believe in bringing back corporal punishment to the schools and the prisons, as these places are clearly devoid of any group that might object. There is a general consensus that you should not spank boys, as it turns them into cock-craving homosexuals. The average spank blogger also believes in using all sorts of tools of ass-justice, and owns more paraphernalia than a BDSM-crazed crackwhore. To summarize, they believe that the man of the house should be the only one allowed to spank, and that only girls should be spanked, and when they are spanked it should always be bare bottomed. I'm starting to see a pattern here.

	“	Hi, First of all, you should continue to spank your daughter bare until you decide to stop spanking her and if that means she is 18 or 19 and still getting bare bottom spankings then so be it. There are two parts to a spanking that make it effective. Obviously the main part is the pain that is caused, but humiliation also plays a part, so therefore it is important for her to be humiliated when getting spanked, it's a part of the punishment, and more reason to stay out of trouble. Also, it doesn't matter if her genetals and her anus can also be seen. You are her father and you have seen it all before.	„
	—Andrew, explaining why it is important to humiliate your naked 19 year old daughter.

	“	I have two daughters and they both get the paddle on the bare bottom.I do it on the bare bottom because once one of them got a blister and I want to see their skin.It is sometimes unavoidable that during the spanking their genitalia and anus will show.I am their father and I have seen them since birth. No one in the family really thinks about it.	„
	—Jew is concerned for his children's welfare.

	“	Yes, moderate and reasonable CP in schools would go some way, I think, to curbing juvenile delinquency in this country too.	„
	—Clem, responding to forum topic "Should there be CP in school?"

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The Blogs

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Jonathan, being not at all creepy, and merely concerned for a young girl's moral fiber

A 52 year old man, trolling hardcore.

The Blogs are where these unbelievably horny perverts go to share their love of non-consensual child BDSM with the whole world. They post some pretty cool stories about slapping their kids around, most of which are pretty sexy, especially when it's a 17 year old girl being spanked on the naked ass by her new step-father, which is a surprisingly common occurrence. They engage in large fellatio-parties of e-peen sucking, telling each other what great parents they are, and that God must surely approve of what they are doing. When talking about God's commands to punish their children, they are particularly fond of one verse from Proverbs 23:13

"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."

Unfortunately, according to the trained biblical scholars at ED, they have wildly misinterpreted the meaning of this verse. It is quite clear, that when God used the word "rod", he actually meant cock, with this proper translation, the verse makes much more sense. We can also all stop and take a minute to appreciate the irony of the use of the masculine pronoun when considered with their firm belief that boy-spanking produces homos.

Many of their children also have a presence on the forums, making posts about the whippings that they totally deserved because they are such naughty children. These kids are glad that they have parents who love them enough to take such a strong interests in their behinds, and will happily visit these traditions upon their own children. Naturally, the smell of children proves too much for some to resist, resulting in some fairly amusing cases of stalking, such as the two shining examples seen in the pictures to the right. The line between pedophile and good father is bascially nonexistent in these forums. Many a man will masturbate over how right smacking their kids feels, and the awesome cleansing power of the spanking.

All in all, these blogs are a lulzfarm for quotes, the best of which have been selected for you by an illegal alien who was paid with a bullet to the head. Enjoy!

	“	VIOLENCE can be used for beneficial purposes and reasons and when it is used in a positive light it's to bless not curse. You are a wonderful girl how awesome of you to offer yourself in an attempt to generate loving vibes in your home by allowing your folks to take their frustrations out on your bottom cheeks with your hopes of healing any tainted relationship between you and your parents utilizing girl spanking expanding it from only used for punitive punishment to also being used to clear the air mending relationships in a girls environment where she lives. Talk to your dad when your alone with him about spanking with your mom being out of the home away on an errand [a couple hours at least] giving you and your dad alone time for you to make your spanking pitch to him. Use your girl charm to charm him into spanking you reassuring him that its o.k its alright to spank you because your a girl and that you need him to spank you. No matter what walk of life if a dads girl pursues her dad to spank her he will spank her more times than not. Help your dad out to give you a spanking by positioning yourself bent over a chair pants down but leave your panties on so as not to shock your reluctant spanking dad with to much to soon. Your dad should give you a good 25-30 spanks. Let it all out of your soul when he spanks you [cry it out] and when its over kiss and hug and thank your dad hugging him drying your eyes while you enjoy your answered prayers. You are right in wanting a spanking to attempt to mend this tainted family relationship with its psychological turmoil [a negative violence] by nipping it in the bud through the work of a good spanking [a positive violence]. Focus only on getting your dad to spank you when you have private alone time with him ; know how to bring the subject of spanking into a conversation at an opportune time ; and active patience in obtaining a spanking all spells success. A spanking by your dad would greatly bless you and those in your home. A girl spanking counselor can make a house call and in proxy spank a girl with the parents present/absent as the case may be. A girl spanking counselor [the parents proxy] will educationally demonstrate proper spanking technique and protocol.	„
	—joe, breaking the pedo high score

	“	Little details like that are just part of the way you do things but there's a reason. It's also very easy to notice if they don't have their toes turned because their feet are up in the air right in front of you but also you notice right away that their butt doesn't bounce from a lick the way it should and it's just obvious if you are used to it the other way.I expect to see their butt bounce from a paddle lick like a rubber ball. When I was taught to get in position my Aunt would take the edge of the paddle and run it up between my cheeks. If the paddle edge didn't slide through easy, barely touching, it's clenched and I had to turn my toes in more.	„
	—Katie's Aunt always performs the Chris-Forcand-Credit-Check.

	“	The paddle you use on your boy has a GIRLS name on it. Spankings are girl intrinsic and dont work on boys. The boy should be reoriented into a boy discipline intrinsic to his male nature of being a boy.	„
	—Boys are do not want

	“	Christine,Your cute post made me smile :-) When I turned 10-yrs-old I argued with my mother that I was "too big" for any more spankings - that earned me my first (of many) bare bottomed hairbrush paddlings. When I was 12-yrs-old, and "developing" physically, I argued with Mother that I was "too big" for any more bare bottomed spankings as having my panties pulled down at that age was too shameful. That earned me my first (of many) bare bottomed belt whippings from Father! I learned to "take it" from Mom until, at 16-yrs-old, facing another bare bottomed hairbrushing, I claimed "none of my friends STILL get spanked at my age!" and for that I got belt spanked in front of one of my friends and her mother! At 18-yrs-old, I'd learned to simply say, "I'm sorry, please don't spank me too hard" and push my panties down and bend over a lap contritely, no matter who might be watching. Love to hear from others about this, [email protected]	„
	—Lookie, an e-mail address! Gentlemen, start your engines

	“	A girl should be spanked more or less depending on her degree of spunk and degree of resistance to her spankings. a GIRLS SPANKING NEEDS TO BE OF A SUFFICIENT FORCE to penetrate the individual fabric of her girl being and so her spanking needs to be tailord made just for her individualy. The girl should communicate to her spanker the kind of spanking she needs with regards to intensity and the spanking impliment used AND HOW OFTEN SHE NEEDS THEM in order to make her souls resolves , after all its your spanking and not someone elses spanking experience you need. A girls first spanking experience should be by hand than a graduation process to paddle and in teen years the belt , however all the impliments are viable in her teen years. All her spankings should be spirit filled and of a professional nature in the tecnique of its administration being void of a precarious striking of her buttocks ; being rightly measured in regards to force applied by spanks in ratio to the area of her middle buttocks increased redness to the culmination of her spanking experience known only by her her GOD and [her] communicated needs she related to her spanker beforehand. ---SPANKING PREREQUISIT : PRAYER.	„
	—Jesus, I can practically smell the cum.

	“	The hand is the best and should be used in conjunction with spanking impliments when spanking impliments are used. The cane is not to be feared by the girl only respected for the power of its administration. The cane spanking should be given only by a master of its usage in which case the girl receives a good cane spanking measured to perfection the result of prayerful practice time with the cane before her cane spanking happen. The girl who is MASTERLY cane spanked discovers that the canes bark [whistle] is worse than its bite [spank]. The pain sensation felt on the girls cheeks is modified to a peculiar type of pain , painful but at the same time not painful due to the expert use of the girl spanking cane. PRAYER and PRACTICE makes perfect. The christian girl should prayer concering her spanking experience before and after the fact concerning her spanking experience.	„
	—BDSM quarterly gave it a positive review.

	“	hi, I am a christian girl and i was on the desktop at my cousins house and I saw this site bookmarked... to be honest I am kinda confused. my dad is christian but he doesnt spank me, I guess Im glad about that because it sounds like it would hurt. anyways why is spanking specificaly a christian thing? I have read posts here about how good christians spank to discipline there kids or something, does that mean my dad is not a good christian? sorry, I dont mean to offend anyone, again I am just confused about what the general message is that you are trying to send people. thanks	„
	—A loli stumbling across her cousin's fap stash, also yes honey, your dad is going to hell for not savoring your sweet ass

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Doing it Right

File:He flinched.jpg

The result of the standard proper Christian chastisement

Once, every so often, one person practices the fine art of CP so well that he becomes a hero to the whole online-spanking community. Let me be clear, the actions and opinions of the following individuals are wholeheartedly supported by and entirely reflective of the opinions of all members of all online child discipline forums.

• Larry and Constance Slack: This couple of Jew-hova's witnesses were very upset when their daughter couldn't find their credit card in a pile of laundry. They gave her a "light beating" of 20 strokes, but the silly loli squirmed during it, so they decided more severe penalties were necessary. Her brothers tied her to a metal bed frame, her mother; a registered nurse put a gag into her mouth, and her father ordered her shirt cut off and her pants pulled off. Then he proceeded to give her the biblically determined "40 strokes minus one three times" (117 lashes for you retards) with plastic pipe tubing. However, he felt even 117 wasn't enough, and after 160 strokes, he had her turned over and hit her 39 more times on her chest and stomach. This epic beating lasted two hours, and when it was finished he left her in a basement bedroom and went upstairs to watch a DVD. She died soon of internal bleeding. Unfortunately, the police, notorious for their lack of a sense of humor, didn't understand proper child rearing, and they are both serving life in prison. On the way to the prison, Larry decided that he didn't want to live in a world where he wasn't free to beat a loli to death (He found out what the inmates will do to his plastic tubing beating a child to death ass), and hid a knife in the folds of his skin (police reports say he weighs 350 pounds), and tried to commit suicide with it. Unfortunately the fat which allowed him to conceal the knife also stopped it from killing him, he was treated at the hospital for minor wounds. Then the bastard was sent back into prison to meet his fate of ass-rape and shankings. The State Prosecutor, opted for the death penalty, but the Judge did not want to deprive the general prison population of their constitutional rights on giving these parents the traditional reward for such devout adherence to their faith.

• Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz: These pair of fundie God-fags adopted 3 kids from Liberia in order to show them the love of God. However, they did not account for the irritating Ebonics that these children would forever speak in. One day, after several hours of trying to get one young girl to say "four" instead of "fo", they lost it. Elizabeth held the niglet down while Kevin beat it to death with plastic pipe tubing. The cops, again showing their characteristic lack of humor, arrested both of them for this incident and for beating the shit out of their other 8 kids. They both plead not guilty and await trial on November 2010. If this trial is televised expect great LULZ as these crackers try to defend beating nigger kids like slaves.

• Michael Pearl: Although he has never reached the news with any beatings that he himself has perpetrated(yet), Pearl deserves a special mention for being an evangelical God-fag who pioneered the "plastic pipe tubing" method that allowed the above two couples to dispatch discipline their children so effectively. He operates a website (http://www.nogreaterjoy.org) where he recommends "training" your children with the plastic tubing which will "sting but not bruise" (hey, he didn't say "not kill"). He is a god to the online spanking community. It also shows that any adult who reads this or any book, that condones activity that would be considered a War Crime to inflict against Enemy POW's in Gitmo and decides to follow those same methods without any critical examination has deep psychological problems.

• Roy Lessin: Another evangelist whose sole parenting method is the heiney whack. Lessin authored a number of books which are enormously popular with Christian retards. He has a concept that kids of any age should be spanked for not respecting the authority of their elders, whether they be 50 or 2 years older than them, or even related to them. If he weren't so into God's cock, he would be an amazing troll, as he has ruined more children's childhoods than rule 34, as seen in the quotes below.

	“	Remember all those sermons at Outreach that you, Don Leetch, Dean Kerns, and a few others delivered? I still hear children screaming as their parents spanked them outside the church sanctuary during Sunday morning service during those sermons. I remember the screams of my siblings. I remember on a Friday night, someone was preaching and a dad took a baby outside for a spanking, and a neighbor called the police. We stopped the church service, and you went out with your bible to explain to the officer why it was fine for the parent to spank their baby. All of us inside prayed that the officer would understand and not take the baby away.	„
	—A butthurt lady rages at Roy for trolling her childhood.

	“	Since I might face back-to-back Roy Lessin spankings, I had to be careful not to be disrespectful in my listening to my father. I had already developed irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), and would feel my guts cramp up with anxiety during his speech. Then he would ask me to take off my pants and underwear. I would feel deeply embarrassed because my father was not supposed to see me naked. (My family had a high standard for modesty.) My humiliation and fear would grow immeasurably as I leaned over the bed, my father's knee, or whatever was around. My private parts were helplessly exposed as my dad laid his hand on my back. Trying to pull away and defend myself would only mean that the spanking would be longer, or I'd get a back-to-back spanking. The stick, paddle inscribed with scripture verses, or belt would swish violently through the air before slapping painfully on my buttocks or thighs. I would scream in pain and anguish.	„
	—Damn, anyone else hard?

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Remember these parents the next time some fundie zealot screams about letting gay couples adopt. You never hear about gay couples beating kids to death with plastic tubes.

Trolling Techniques

Given that the bloggers are a bunch of self righteous fucks, they will generally honk quite loudly when stepped on, especially if you involve their children. Any of the following will make them shit themselves in indignation, though unfortunately they tend to be humorless assholes and hide out in post-with-approval-only blogs.

• Tell them how hot their erotic stories have gotten you
• Ask their kids for pictures of their bruises from the last spanking to gauge if you are "doing it right"
• Say that you are a daughter that spanks her father
• Suggest that they shouldn't beat their kids
• Mention anyone from the "Doing It Right" section
• Ask them why they enjoy naked children so much
• Tell them you have physically disciplined your children for denying the obvious truth of evolution
• Mention that you add to the humiliation aspect of your daughter's punishment by fucking her afterward
• Show them this study.
• Send all appropriate information to social services and law enforcement so they can be properly Persecuted, I mean Prosecuted. Their adherence to their faith will be reward by repeated ass-rapings and a shanking in jail. It will be worse if it is a female.

Voy.com

Many of the quotes you have seen so far were gleaned from the notoriously lulzy "Raising Christian Girls" blog. One of our favorites was the one where User "Jonathon" calls out to his stalking victim that although he has been kicked from Fatherly forums, he would still like to talk to her about telling her dad she has been talking to boys online, for which she deserves a spanking. What has been recently discovered by hardened-cat-eared-lulz-commandos working deep in enemy territory is that Jonathan RUNS the blog. Truly epic quotes were gleaned when a mod from the fatherly forums came to tell him to get his own lolis to stalk and stop poaching theirs.

	“	In reply to: ming 's message, "Re: To Becky Mix" on 13:07:09 03/09/10 Tue I don't judge Becky, I protect her and look out for her best interests like I would look out for any good Christian girl. She is not getting good advice from other girls and people about anything. She is straying from her fathers rules and she will never truly be cleanses until she confessed and receives his loving discipline. Anyone who is not telling her that is a wolf in sheep's clothing. They don't care about her. If you talk to Becky, tell her I am coming back to the fatherly forum. Tell all the Christian girls I am coming back to be their friend again-J.	„
	—Jonathan just wants to be friends with the loli.

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See Also

• BDSM
• Bible
• Child Abuse
• CP
• Pedophilia
• Spanking Art Wiki
• Torture

External Links

• Chastise with love
• Techniques

Voy

• Voy Forums topic
• Childhood Spanking Memories

Christian Spanking Blogs is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

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