Ashura

Accurate summary of this article.

Because I'm worth it.

Ashura (online alias of Joe Marconi) is a whiny, bitchy, emotional 20-something year old from Guidoland, USA who is a living example of an internet pedophile. He has had several short-lived moments of fame for attempting to hypnotize underaged girls into going nude on webcam, although he typically fails. Ashura is so obsessed with trying to get into little girl's panties, he begs for their forgiveness after ass ramming them with the constant demand of "CAN I HAVE SEX WITH YOU?!?!!" in hopes that they will feel pity for him and change their mind. Ashura has additionally made up stories about going an hero just to see if anyone "cares". As a result of being lonely from fapping to hentai every night, he turns to social networking sites to have serious relationships when in reality, he will never get any because of his acne-ridden 2 inch dick. Despite all this, he claims that he doesn't care about what people say about him; although for some reason, he did get his close friend to delete this article once because he was so butthurt over it. At the time, he even confessed that because of this article, he cried over being hated so much.

I WILL SMASH YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL

I MEAN IT!!!

Other than just spending most of his online time hitting on female Myspace users, he enjoys threating people in random chatrooms that he'll beat them up with his bare hands. Along with such threats, he tells his victims to grow up and stop acting so childish (when it is clear enough to say that he is the one being highly immature in this situation). He also often includes warnings that he will use his amazing powers of hypnotism to steal their girlfriends away from them. Many girls insist that his hypnotism has actually worked against their own will. However, some argue that they were merely this desperate to begin with.

	“	If I met you in real life I would smash your head against the wall.	„
	—Ashura

A Life Of Misery And Abuse

Half of what this faggot whines about is how his brother beats the shit out of him and steals all of his porn. It is a known fact that he is buttfucked by this brother since he, too, can't get any. Even Ashura's own stepmom wants some of his tiny limp cock. On many occasions he sobs and writes blogs about the "miserable truths" in his family and once even admitted to sleeping with old men and sucking their cock. Even Ashura's friends have become sick of his bitching and want him to GTFO, go kill himself, or want someone to do it for him.

Why doesn't anyone care about me???

	“	WHY WON'T ANYONE CARE ABOUT ME? I'M A NICE GUY AND I'M SOFT-HEARTED, THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT I'M NICE TO THEM!!!! FORGET THIS I HATE YOU ALL!	„
	—Ashura

I'D DIE FOR YOU LOLIS

(Kratos = Ashura)
(Mia = Some loli)

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I DON"T CARE

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I NEED YOU

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME! >.<

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I WILL NOT ABANDON YOU LIKE MID DID

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I SWEAR ON MY LIFE

Mia says: Ash..I..

Mia says: Sorry..

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...Sorry for what...?

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: Ashley.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ..Theres no reason to be alone.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I will die for you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I will always be there for you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I will protect you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I will take your pain for you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I will comfort you and love you with all my heart.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...Just, promise me you'll do the same..

Mia says: ..I cant..

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...Mid?

Mia says: No..

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ....Then what?

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I'm not gonna do what Mid did to you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I won't cheat on you either.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: Ashley.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...You've always been the girl of my dreams, the girl I've always wanted...

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: And I know I'm the one you want.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...Don't let it slip away...

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...I love you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I always have..

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ..And I always will.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...Even if you abandon me.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...I will always love you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: But you're not a horrible person.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: You did what was right to get away from Mid.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: You're allowed to start anew.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: Theres nothing wrong with that...

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: I don't want anyone else.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: Not Nami.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: Not Shahua.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: Not anyone.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...Just you.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: And thats the honest truth.

Mia says: Why me and not another girl..?

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: Because you were always there.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: You're the one who I feel connected to.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: No one else.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: You're the one, who I want to spend eternity with.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: -shows you a ring- I'll give this to you, when the time is right.

~Kratos, Fallen God of War, Destroyer of Gods~ says: ...But I need the opportunity...

---

(Meanwhile...)

Ashura's Latest Fails

Ashura has been difficult to locate for the past couple of years because for some reason, he tends to change screennames and regularly frequented websites. He was originally discovered as a regular visitor of a chatroom website for fans of the .hack anime series. This is most likely due to the fact that such communities tend to be popular gathering spots for lonely underage b&. He proceeded to spend all his time frequenting this website until it was taken down, possibly due to the admins just not giving a shit anymore. Since then, Ashura began his online fugitive tendencies, fleeing from one social outlet to the next in attempts leave no trace behind of his questionable activities. However, his victims and trolls alike remain in contact with one another and enjoy laughing at his expense, and occasionally somehow even manage come in contact with him again. The most recent firsthand account of an encounter with Ashura was retold in spring of 2011, and involved him possibly having no internet access after taking over a loli's XBox Live account, likely as part of blackmail for compensation. The following quotes are from when he was last spoken with...

FalseTrick:
he works on the corner of hollywoodvideo

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
I work at GameStop as an Assistant Manager.

FalseTrick:
OH WOW

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
And I make $12 an hour.

FalseTrick:
IM SO

FalseTrick:
OMG IM SO FUCKING

FalseTrick:
BLOWN AWAY

FalseTrick:
guys hese the manager of a gamestop

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
You need both.

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
Otherwise you amount to jack shit.

Ryosin:
@Ash How's your parents house?

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
I'm awesome.

Ryosin:
Had to be said. Stfu.

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
It's nice.

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
It has a wonderful hot tub that I helped built and use everynight.

Ashura/Iori Yagami:
<3

Tixxy(DarkDevil):
The fuck..

Tixxy(DarkDevil):
Ash..

Tixxy(DarkDevil):
No.

Tixxy(DarkDevil):
No.

FalseTrick:
do you fuck the bubbleholes?

Fun Facts And Words Of Wisdom

I'm awesome.

	“	I'm going to college for Business Administration. :/	„
	—Ashura

	“	I have a job AND a life.	„
	—Ashura

	“	I'd own you all with my Ganondorf.	„
	—Ashura

	“	There are too many ostriches. This is a terrible vacation!	„
	—Ashura

	“	I'd whore myself for 25 cents for 10 minutes.	„
	—Ashura

Previous Quote | Next Quote

I didn't do anything!!! I was out christmas shopping, I swear!!!!!!

• Many of Ashura's young female allies have posted on this article to get it taken down, because they are trying to "defend" him. They are hoping the original authors will be butthurt because of this. They have failed due to lack of wiki markup knowledge, and getting banned.

• Did you know that Ashura considers himself a hardcore gamer? He insists that he can win in any game he plays against someone.

• He insists that he is not a pedo, but not only has he turned down legitimate dating proposals from females of his own age, we have also heard that he recently called a 12 year old girl his "delicious-looking loli rape toy".

• Did you also know that he hangs out with wiggers? One of these wiggers (recently discovered to possess the name "Shawn") has gotten involved with this article, as Ashura has tried to force him into deleting it.

• A male user on a website he commonly visited once posed as a female user in order to extract information about a female friend of his who was in contact with Ashura at the time out of concern. Ashura fell for this plan, which leads us to believe that he is attracted to males as well or possibly is just even stupider than we initially assumed.

Ways To Possibly Find Ashura On The Innanetz

• NEW!!! A loli who wishes to remain anonymous has recently divulged the information that as of spring 2011, Ashura does indeed use MSN messenger on a regular basis. The email address associated with the active MSN account is as follows: [email protected] (Note to those under the age of 18: If you receive an IM from the aforementioned email address, especially the nature of which prompting your participation in cybering and/or hypnosis experiments, please do not respond and contact Chris Hansen immediately.)

• His AIM account: Nemesis Cypher

• His other AIM account: Vash the Sinful

• Yet another AIM account: SilentMagicianEX

• His Xbawx LIVE account: Nemesis Cypher

• GODDAMMIT. UPDATE!!! Ashura has recently been spotted on the Book of Faces. His account is new and likely active, but unfortunately highly private (likely to conceal his rumored underground loli hooker ring).

• Likely the only Myspace that he hasn't closed; seems dead

• Myspace (Closed)

• Another Myspace (Closed)

Other Links & Related Articles

• Forever Alone

• Gamer

• Newbie

• Pedophilia

• PROOF OF SRS HYPNOSKILLZ, GET NAKED KIDS!!!

• Cache of the original article that was started in Ashura's defense by his loli army and partially sabotaged by us before it was deleted and the b& for these unfunny underage users was placed.