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imported>Mylarballoonlover |
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| [[File:MBF Sammy.jpg|200px|thumb|right]]
| | FUCK ED |
| {{eduser|MylarBalloonFan}}
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| It may come as a surprise to some that anyone over the age of 8 would have an obsession with foil balloons; however, some people never outgrow such childish things. '''MylarBalloonFan''' A.K.A. [[Powerword|Samuel “Sammy” Peterson]] is a [[fat]], 22 year-old [[basement dweller]] who is obsessed with [[Balloon Fetish|Mylar balloons]], old technology, square objects, [[McDonalds]], the [[1990s]], and [[Sailor Moon]]. He is also an [[autistic]] [[Denmark|Dane]] who hates his own country for various stupid reasons. Sammy also is something of an Ameriboo and wants to move to the [[USA]]. However, due to Sammy spending his [[welfare]] money on other things, he won’t be touching [[American]] soil anytime soon.
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| == Mylar Balloons == | | == Mylar Balloons == |
| | | FUCK 888CHAN |
| [[File:Sammy masturbating with balloons.png|thumb|right|Sammy telling the internet about how he masturbates with balloons]]
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| Sammy has an intense love for Mylar Balloons. So much so, that he has [[Over 9000|over 200]] of them in his room. Due to [[Denmark|Køge]] not having very many places that sell Mylar Balloons, Sammy has to import them from the US. He spends at least 200 USD for one Mylar balloon and has spent over 5000 USD on Mylar balloons. Yes, he spends 200 dollars to import a shitty balloon that costs 7 dollars at Party City.
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| He expresses his love for Mylar balloons on Yahoo answers and [[Youtube]]. He comments regularly on videos of other Mylar balloon spergs that videotape themselves and their balloons. He also posts [[U mad?|negative]] comments to anyone that uploads videos of themselves popping his favorite type of balloons. In his own words; anyone who pops Mylar balloons is “killing his girlfriend.”
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| Yes, Sammy has a sexual fetish for Mylar balloons. It’s not enough for Sammy to own Mylar balloons; he also has sex with them and admits that Mylar balloons feels good against his microdick on Yahoo answers without any shame. He even videotaped himself slobbering all over a Mermaid balloon. [http://videobam.com/fMBWE You can watch the video here.]
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| As an avid Mylar balloon fan, he hates the dreaded latex balloons with a passion. He posts [[tl;dr|long]] rant videos about how much he despises them and of him flipping off latex balloons at a store. He even popped latex balloons in a couple of [http://videobam.com/ueqhZ videos].
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| <center>
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| {{morphquote|morphquote1|background-color: white;width:100%;|font-weight:bold;
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| |MYLAR MAKES MY PENIS WET WITH JOY IF YOU HATE MYLAR YOU SHOULD BE KILLED MYLAR BALLOONS IS SEXIER THAN DIRTY HIPPYS AND HUMANS|
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| |when I see a Rubber Balloon I becomes angry and want to shot the latex balloon but I am very happy when I see a Mylar Foil Balloon. to me Latex Balloons are fake and Mylar is real balloons.|
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| }}
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| </center>
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| == He Loves the 90s == | | == He Loves the 90s == |
| | | FUCK RSDUKE |
| [[File:Sammy autism coat.jpg|thumb|left|Sammy's 1990s cosplay, fanny pack and all]]
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| [[File:Sammy Sailor Mars.jpg|thumb|right|''In the name of [[lolicon]], Mylar, and the 1990s, I shall punish you!'']]
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| Sammy has other obsessions besides Mylar balloons that he spends quite a bit of his welfare check on. He is also obsessed with schoolgirl animu, old technology, squared objects, Dr. Pepper, and McDonalds. What these obsessions all share in Sammy’s autistic mind is their relationship to his favorite decade, the 1990s. Being born in 1992, Sammy is very nostalgic over his childhood. Unable to adjust to modern technology, Sammy despises the modern world and everything about it.
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| He’s obsessed with Sailor Moon and similar type school girl anime that came out in the 90s. He has spent quite a bit of money on animu little girl toys, Sailor Moon Mylar balloons, and other [[Plastic crap|various animu crap]]. He even wore Sailor Mars [[cosplay]] and schoolgirl outfits in public, letting every single Dane in Køge know how special he is. He once made a top ten [[kawaii]]-est anime girl list and every single girl listed was younger than 16, some were even as young as eight years old. When [[trolls|viewers]] pointed out their age and asked him if he was a pedophile, Sammy raged at them.
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| His obsessions with ancient, pre-[[Web 1.0]] technology include uncomfortable 1970s chairs, square energy-consuming electronics, and ancient computers. He also posts rants on his hatred for Windows Vista/7/8 and does not give a clear answer on why he dislikes them other than that they are modern computer systems. It’s also no surprise that Sammy likes 90s fashion (or, lack-thereof) and extremely bright, noisy, and generally annoying clothing. In every single one of his videos, he blasts [[shit|Gabber]] [[techno]] for those who are unfortunate to listen. He also wears god awful 90s light-reflecting fashion that makes someone look like they lost a fight with a tub of highlighters. So far, his highlighter look consists of a New Kids on the Block fanny pack, a woman’s soccer jacket, and a girly watch. His fashion choices are interesting, to say the least. He chooses to wear the same type of stuff that [[women]] and effeminate gays wore in the 90s before quickly ditching them when they realized how retarded they looked. However, this should be expected from the same guy who wore schoolgirl outfits in public.
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| It can be assumed that he eats McDonalds on a weekly basis from [http://videobam.com/hnSQZ the song his posted], the video of himself exiting out of one, and even his own comments about the franchise. He makes videos of himself [[Foul Bachelor Frog|obnoxiously burping]] on camera after drinking Dr. Pepper.
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| {{clear}}
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| == Videos ==
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| <center>
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| {{fv|youtubevids|background-color: #D7D7E0;|font-weight: bold;|
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| <youtube>1AiUwSZgHKw</youtube><center>'''Are you horny yet?'''</center>|
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| <youtube>MuaUROYXvBA</youtube><center>'''What he thinks about Latex Balloons'''</center>|
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| <youtube>qZLOd3nh7aU</youtube><center>'''What he thinks about Ovals'''</center>|
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| <youtube>bmjPHEyhEeI</youtube><center>'''Proud owner of a neon fannypack'''</center>|
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| <youtube>J0zUy-pUYOE</youtube><center>'''One of many burp videos'''</center>|
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| <youtube>hQSf_hbH8kM</youtube><center>'''Dr. Pecker: Approved!'''</center>|
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| <youtube>wp-ncxnBjvM</youtube><center>'''$105 wasted on a worthless keyboard'''</center>
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| }}
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| </center>
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| == Sammy and trolls ==
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| <center>
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| {{fv|youtubevids2|background-color: #D7D7E0;|font-weight: bold;|
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| <youtube>R1vEbaG_t0k</youtube> <center>'''Sammy's response to this article.'''</center>|
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| <youtube>OMrhLRweJdQ</youtube><center>'''Another response to this article, using [[South Park]]'''</center>
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| }}
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| </center>
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| {{quote|<stopthe60s> 888chan and ED are illegal}}
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| [[File:MBF Sammy and 789chan.png|200px|thumb|right|Getting mad at 789chan and people who compare him to Chris Chan]]
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| [[File:Sammy mad at troll.png|200px|thumb|right]]
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| Sammy is [[thin skin|very touchy when it comes to criticism]] and argues with trolls and people on and off youtube. Being discovered by [[789chan]] users, Sammy quickly found his way to the site and raged at the users. So much so that he flagged down mirrors of his videos, sent trolls butthurt messages on Youtube, and made a couple of videos on [http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xt0r32_homer-sucks_fun Daily] [http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xt0pse_rsduke-sucks_fun#.UTlJ_DfEbYY Motion].
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| He even, at one point, [http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xt1kgn_to-789chan_lifestyle#.UTlMSjfEbYY attempted] to team up with [[Robert Wayne Stiles]] to get trolls arrested by the FBI. However, he quickly ditched Robb, because sending trolls to jail was taking time away from fucking his Mylar balloons. Isn't that awesome?
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| He also gets [http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjFKyfxJBxUe_itj9gG6GKHBFQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20120819175215AAFWohy very irritated] when trolls compared him to [[Chris Chan]]. Like Chris, he also wears out-of-date pedo glasses, likes Sailor Moon, eats at McDonalds almost religiously, is obsessed with toys, and even looks kind of like Chris. He even got referred to as "Danish Chris" by trolls before they found out his name. The main reason why he gets so butthurt when people compare him to Chris-chan is because Chris likes [[Pokemon]] and [[My Little Pony]] and that Chris is [[Hipster|"too mainstream"]]. Another thing that is true when comparing him to [[Chris-chan]] is that Sammy does not understand [[Copyright|copyright law]].
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| Another thing [http://videobam.com/knhlK Sammy gets upset over] is when people dislike his videos, whether they be trolls and/or people who didn't find his videos very entertaining. He also seems to believe that the [[Samefag|same person]] disliked all of his videos rather than a few people finding them to be boring.
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| Like so many people before him, when he had found his ED article, he wanted to [[vandalism|take the information down NOW NOW NOW]]!!!1 So he used the ED account that he already had and practically blanked the article. Needless to say, [[vandalism is pointless|his edits were quickly reverted and he was banned]].
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| == Quotes ==
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| <center>
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| {{morphquote|mq1|background-color: transparent;|font-weight: normal;;
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| |FUCK COCA COLA!!|In response to an opinion on YouTube about soda[http://youtu.be/kCxOcdQxKZ8]
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| |MYLAR BALLOONS FEELS GOOD AGAINST MY PENIS!|lol[http://youtu.be/5ZF90EKUMFQ]
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| |[[Basement Dweller|I hate day light people that makes noice so I can't sleep.]]|THE SUNLIGHT IT BURNS[http://youtu.be/m-wgcZ5nC8g]
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| |I have computers that are over 25 year old.
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| your modern china crap won't last that long.
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| Fuck off!|128KB RAM is best RAM[http://youtu.be/6YteSNlS5Is]
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| |you are a modern pieces of shit.|nice grammar[http://youtu.be/6YteSNlS5Is]
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| }}
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| </center>
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| == Pictures ==
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| {{cg|Balloon fucking and butthurt galore|Sammay|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Sammy pregnant.jpg|Sammy's looking a little [[Mpreg|pregnant there]]...
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| File:Sammy as a Danish grandma.jpg|Sammy [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] as a Danish grandma.
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| File:Sammy picking up a girlfriend 0.jpg|Sammy picking up his daily rape victims.
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| File:Sammy troll art.jpg|Sammy spending quality time with his balloons
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| File:Sammy and Chris lookalike.jpg|[[Chris-chan|The resemblance]] is uncanny!
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| </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
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| File:Sammy wanting to fuck balloons.png|Is it normal to get a boner from a balloon?'
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| File:MylarBalloonFan crysis armor maximum 90s.jpg
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| File:Sammy picking up a girlfriend.jpg|Sammy's rape-mobile.
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| File:MBF Sammy 0.jpg|Plastic crap and a shitty old computer? It's definitely Sammy's battle station.
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| File:Sammy and rapist glasses.png|Complaining about people calling his glasses "rapist glasses."
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| File:Sammy aspergers.png|So many posts about his assburgers syndrome.
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| File:Sammy and skateboarders.png|Sammy's arch-nemesis, skateboarders.
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| File:Sammy and USA.png
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| File:Sammay feels good.png
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| File:Sammy being called a pedophile.png
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| File:Sammy liking gay balloon video.png
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| File:Sammy on Danish girls and balloons.png
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| File:mylar.png
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| File:mylar2.png
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| File:Mylar3.png
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| </gallery>}}
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| == Websites ==
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| * {{Zippcast|MylarBalloonFan}} (FUCK GOOGLETUBE)
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| * [http://mylarballoonfan.weebly.com/ His own personal site]
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| * {{facebook|MylarBalloonFan}}
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| * {{yt|DoReMiForever}} Old account
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| * {{yt|1Suppi}} Old account
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| * {{yt|ILoveSailorMoon1000}} DELETED
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| * {{yt|MylarBalloonLover1}} Current youtube account
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| * {{dauser|mylarballoonfan}}
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| * {{twitter|MylarBalloonFan}}
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| * [http://www.okcupid.com/profile/MylarBalloonFan OKCupid profile]
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| * [http://www.dailymotion.com/mylarballoonfreak Dailymotion profile]
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| * [http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums-profile-viewprofile-u-46653.html Wrongplanet profile]
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| * [http://s830.beta.photobucket.com/user/MylarBalloonFan/profile/ Photobucket account]
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| * [http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/activity?show=Oo30UByjaa&link=answer&answerfilter=best_answers Yahoo answers account]
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| * [http://videobam.com/XyGvP A video of teenage Sammy and his buttbuddy]
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| * [http://videobam.com/MqUlu A video of Sammy complaining about a train]
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| * [http://videobam.com/MCmMq Sammy complaining about going green]
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| == See also == | | == See also == |
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