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Robert Aaron Long: Difference between revisions
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==Videos== | ==Videos== | ||
<center> | <center>[[File:RobertLongCCTV.mp4]]</center><center> '''Pay very close attention to the timestamps in the top left corner.''' </center> | ||
==Graded Score== | ==Graded Score== | ||
Revision as of 20:31, 30 July 2021
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| Robert Aaron Long | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
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| High Score | 8 killed, 1 injured |
| Top 50? | Hell no |
| Style | FPS, Single player |
| An Hero? | No |
Imagine: It's early 2021. Corona-chan has ravaged the Americunt landscape. High Scores haven't happened for the better part of a year; life is looking bleak for the land of burgers. Enter Robert Aaron Long. This basement-dwelling virgin had decided he had enough of jacking off his chode to anime porn. So he did what any sane and rational person would do - he shot up a couple of Azn rub-n-tug massage parlors. This sperg-out was the push needed to get Americunts to get back to their favorite pastime of going for the High Score, after months of hiatus. Nature truly is healing.
Background
Before the shooting, Robert was your typical Bible-thumping redneck (as detailed in his Instagram page). Unfortunately for Robbie-boy, he developed somewhat of a pornography addiction somewhere along the way, which we all know is antithetical to traditional Christian values. As a result, Robert spent a considerable amount of time in "Evangelical" addiction centers. Unfortunately for Robert, no amount of divine intervention would be enough to prevent him from whacking his two-inch chode to loli hentai (according to his roommates at the rehab facility). All of this came to a head the day before the shooting, when his parents finally kicked him out of the basement, because he wouldn't clean up his cum rags. Robert would later tell the pigs that he had thought of killing himself, but decided to go for the High Score instead to, quote unquote, "help others with their sex addictions".
Robert's Bad Day
Now obviously before Robert was able to go for the High Score, he had to get a gun first. And that is exactly what happened on March 16, 2021, where Robert got a 9MM pistol mere hours before going for the High Score, much to the chagrin of gun control advocates, who were butthurt at the revelation as a result. From there, Robert went around to several "happy ending" spas that he was previously a customer of, and proceeded to ventilate a grand total of six Azn women who were unfortunate enough to have wanked off his micro-penis in the first place (Two white people were also ventilated by the shooter; they were actually customers, so they should be seen as collateral damage).
At this point, his CCTV image was circulated across the entire state of Georgia, and the feds were looking for his ass. So he did what anybody else would've done: run. And he did run, in fact, for roughly 150 miles before he was arrested by the pigs in the southern part of Georgia. When asked where he was going, Long said that he was headed to Florida to possibly ventilate people related to the porn industry (based on this info, he was likely going to target either BangBros or Reality Kings, which are both based in Miami).
Aftermath
—Captain Jay Baker. Much butthurt ensued as a result of this quote. | ||
Much butthurt was to be had among libtards, especially among the Azn community, who were already being pwned by mostly niggers in the year before the shooting due to corona-chan. So, as a response to the violence, #StopAsianHate became trending in the weeks following the shooting, brought to you by the same people who created Black Lives Matter (ironically enough, the conveniently timed social engineering campaign was supposed to be called Asian Lives Matter, but Black Lives Matter asked them to change it due to the names sounding too similar).
Several rallies were held in the days following the shooting, but it is unclear whether the movement will make as much of an impact as BLM. More recently, Congress passed a resolution that officially condemns the shooting; they also passed another bill that allocates more law enforcement resources to investigate hate crimes against Asians. The state of Georgia also has announced that they are planning on seeking the death penalty against Long.
Regardless of outcome, one thing is for certain, Long will definitely have his sex addiction fulfilled in the slammer.
Gallery
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Game Over. -
He should've been arrested just for that beard. -
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Before the coom got to his brain.
Videos
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 8/20 8 dead, 1 injured |
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| Accuracy: | 18/20 Only one survivor |
| Style: | 15/20 Kind of like the anti-Elliot Rodger |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 Nationwide protests & attention from US gov |
| Bonus: | 15/20 -5 points for being a coomer, +20 points for jumpstarting America's favorite pastime |
See Also
- Ian David Long - another High Scorer also surnamed Long
- Atlanta - Where it happened
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Robert Aaron Long is related to a series on AZNS. | [Herrow] |
| Robert Aaron Long is part of a series on Dying Alone
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