- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Canadian Kid: Difference between revisions
imported>Moshe Finkberg No edit summary |
imported>Moshe Finkberg |
||
| Line 27: | Line 27: | ||
== | == 11 Crack Commandments Of Canadian Squad == | ||
1. Thou shall scream "yeah nigga!" Every 10 minutes to show praise. | 1. Thou shall scream "yeah nigga!" Every 10 minutes to show praise. | ||
| Line 49: | Line 49: | ||
10. One must, obtain nudes from bitches, and spread them to show appreciation, and respect. | 10. One must, obtain nudes from bitches, and spread them to show appreciation, and respect. | ||
11. One must put one's most used glass bong up one's own pooper | |||
== Canadian's Daily Prayer == | == Canadian's Daily Prayer == | ||
Latest revision as of 03:46, 3 April 2022
Canadian Kid
Matthew Paul Tipping AKA Canadian Kid was a Skype-addicted attention whore. He would do absurd things on camera to get people to laugh at him, such as face-fucking his dog. Like the majority of Millennials, he never had any real parental guidance, as his parents are drug addicts and working all the time. He bounced around between homes with his family before settling down back with his mom. He is currently facing several charges of Swatting, criminal mischief, etc. He was a true real nigga, who did not fear the consequences of his own actions. He would fuel his terrible antics with K2 (synthetic marijuana), various other research chemicals, and Poppers (Weed and cigarette in a straight tube in a bong). He would spend his days making people angry, paranoid, and disgusted: all at the same time. He is known also for fucking himself in the ass with a bong (a screencap was circulated in group chats on skype, back in those days it was mayhem) and having sexual relations with a dog.
Arrest
After smoking weed, and staying up for days, this computer hacking beast entered a state of psychosis and forgot his OPSEC. This lead to him trying to swat Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace from his google voice account. This one stupid raid brought his entire hacking empire crashing down before his eyes.
On May 27th, 2015 officers from the detachment and the Central Region Crime Unit executed a search warrant at his Tottenham home and seized his electronics. He was placed under arrest and is facing several charges relating to swattings that he carried out.
He is currently out on bail, and awaiting trial; there are supposedly 20+ charges.
Court Hearing
He was originally denied bail and is currently being held as he [awaits trial. http://barrie.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=628794] He does not have access to kush in prison and there are concerns of his health deteriorating as a result of kush deprivation. The charges are pretty high, and I'm not even sure how many years he could get. It's all a waiting game for judgement day for the pathetic waste of space that is the Canadian Kid.
11 Crack Commandments Of Canadian Squad
1. Thou shall scream "yeah nigga!" Every 10 minutes to show praise.
2. The body of Matthew Tipping shall be consumed by ingesting the ashes of burnt K2.
3. Thou shall rebel against society, by punching holes in walls large and wide.
4. Thou shall show respect to the Canadian_squad, by swatting a innocent for there courage and power.
5. Thou shall ddos, or be dossed himself.
6. One must always strive to be real nigga, achieve real and only real nigga shit.
7. One must burn a grilled cheese sandwich, and throw it in the water to baptize in the name of k2.
8. Thou must swat thy neighbor, and provide evidence to the canadian_Squad to prove true niggitry.
9. One must always not give a shit on Skype due to real nigga shit. and str8 up steam hardcore beastiality.
10. One must, obtain nudes from bitches, and spread them to show appreciation, and respect.
11. One must put one's most used glass bong up one's own pooper
Canadian's Daily Prayer
Who art in the hood. Hallowed be thy bong. Thy Matthew cum, On cam be done. In the ghetto as it is in the hood. Give us this day, Our daily K2. And forgive us our ddossing. As we won't forgive those who ddos against us. And let the weed be temptation. But deliver us from swatting.
YEAH NIGGA
Hail Matthew.
Full of autism.
The high be with thee.
Blessed is the nigga that swats.
And blessed be the drugs, of thy bong, Matthew.
Holy Matthew.
The father of coke.
Pray for our squad.
Now and at the hour of swats.
YEAH NIGGA
Glory be to the bong, our niggas, and the holy art of swatting. As it was in the beginning, now we shall rebel against society until the end.
YEAH NIGGA
External Links
- http://barrie.ctvnews.ca/teen-accused-of-making-false-911-calls-denied-bail-1.2407126
- http://www.simcoe.com/news-story/5647890-new-tecumseth-teen-charged-for-making-swatting-calls/
- http://barrie.ctvnews.ca/new-tecumseth-teen-charged-after-allegedly-making-high-risk-calls-to-police-1.2394037
- http://www.thestar.com/news/crime/2015/05/27/16-year-old-charged-with-swatting-incident.html
mattisbae
| Canadian Kid is part of a series on LERNIN 2 INTERNET 
|
Pitfalls: Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance Previous Hiscores: PROTIPS: |
|---|
|
Canadian Kid is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
|
Canadian_Kid is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |