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Durthas: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 05:39, 3 October 2016
Durthas is leader of the Online World of Warcraft guild Oracle on the Frostmourne server. He is the ultimate in guild leadership and is also batshit insane. Should not be confused with Jesus, although this is a common error by many.
Durthas began his online adventures on Gaia Online, a place where most Roleplayers start out on the internets. He was believed to be a member of a Cult comprised mainly of satanists people claiming to be interested in the study of Childrens websites. He eventually was coaxed into purchasing the game World of Warcraft by a group of his fellow internets friends in which they headed for the more promising Frostmourne server, where he could establish an oceanic empire to gain control over the World of Warcraft and some day rule over all the world.
Upon arriving at Frostmourne, Durthas set out and quickly achieved max level through what is widely believed to be internet hacks. Upon reaching level 60, he joined Oracle at some point and began talking with female members and taking over the guild from the inside, laying the foundations for his Evil Empire. The guild leader at the time, Gwerdna, we're told was DRIVEN AWAY by this hostile approach and eventually after a duel of several hours gave up leadership to Durthas before quitting. It is widely believed they battled atop Blackrock Spire using nothing but Pork Swords. Durthas' leadership over his minions remained strong until certain members joined his Guild and saw the wrong doings of this man, creating epic Lulz in the raid environment and going AFK without telling anyone.
Upon the removal of several members of the guild, a few of the exiled heroes struck back at the Foul demon with Ventrilo raids from the help of anonymous on the guild vent. Much Chocolate Rain was spilled this day, lest we forget.
Durthas is an evil mastermind; he uses Mind control and Brainwashing tactics to infiltrate the minds of Males he seeks to control. Females are seduced by him in a Disturbing manner. Thankfully, most women are not stupid enough fall for his leet spellcasting. This, however this does not speak for everyone.
Driven by hatred of his mediocre life, Durthas currently resides on the Frostmourne server, still dominating his internets guild and scheming to take over all that we know and love. It is believed that one day an hero will step up before the dark lord and knock him off his perch. We remain hopeful Batman will show up and our nightmare shall be over.
Forms of Durthas
Below are the different forms which Durthas may assume:
1 - Human form
The most basic of Durthas' forms, intelligence and respect levels are at minimum(0). This form is the most commonly used to conserve energy, as Durthas harnesses his energy from the sun, and being the dedicated world of Warcraft player that he is, his sunlight exposure is around 27 minutes per year. In this form he is often referred to as Jon, his birth name.
2 - Raid form
Intelligence and respect gained from phase 1 are negligible. However, energy consumption is greatly increased due to the nature of his technique to gain respect from his guild members. In this form the being has a propensity to lie and may often give false hope to the members of the guild in the hopes he will be respected more online, as his IRL respect is zero and has been since birth.
3 - Durtheev
Intelligence in this form increases dramatically (see Over 9000) however respect remains zero as Human form voice is still used and as such comes with a debuff of -9000 Respect, overwriting the 9000 respect obtained from Cleev. This form can only be obtained after reaching Form 2, and is the direct result of fusing with another member of the guild named Cleev. In this form the brain and respect from Cleev are fused into the voice of Durthas, making him appear intelligent, however he is still in essence a complete fucking batshit insane retard.
It is unknown whether or not this form requires a fusion dance
4 - Durthfurry
Little is known about this form, as it would require someone to visit Gaia Online in order to research it, which we all know is completely fucking gay. We can only assume that this form is what's on offer if you are fucking retarded enough to have cybersex with this douchebag online.
5 - Durthitler
This form is directly related to Raid form, and is believed to be the result of 13 seconds studying the methods of Hitler. To achieve this form, Oracle must wipe to farmable content on par with UBRS which is fortunately at least 6 times a week for Oracle, OR alternatively a player whom is not directly related(not inclusive of cybersex relations See Serephina) to Durthas must go AFK for longer than 35 seconds without notice, as this will also be enough to evoke Form 5. One would assume that intelligence would increase by (0+)9000x9000 due to Hitler being well known for his intelligence and foresight, however one would be fucking wrong and should consider suicide. The only thing in common with Hitler that this form has is that Durthas will sprout a mustache from his god forsaken face, and continuously yell for no fucking reason apart from to fuel his own ego.
6 - DurthCruise
This form is still speculation, however as Durthas shares so many retarded qualities with Tom Cruise such as Brain washing and acting like a fuck head it is possible that when he takes over the World of Warcraft he will evolve into a final form, and proceed to turn every World of Warcraft player into a Scientologist and attempt to take over the world and rape little children.
CHOKLIT REIGN ON ORACLE
For many weeks a band of an heroes had been secretly gathering strength and Lulz data to wage war against Oracle. While Oracle was trying/failing to destroy formidable internet pixel dragons and beasts in the World of Warcraft, the band of an heroes also known as Raptor Jesus followers, would raid the ventrilo server of Oracle with /b/lackup from anonymous. Cutting down their important communication link between Oracle members was key in achieving our goal to prevent Oracle from harming these internet dragons and monsters. Slowly but surely our ventrilo raids became more and more daring, and with the admin password at hand it was only a matter of time before ALL LULZ BROKE LOOSE.
CR-DAY (CHOKLIT REIGN DAY) came on 16/08/07, an important night for Oracle in their raid schedule for that week. Tonight was Lady Vashj night, and after 6 weeks of constantly wiping to her at the beginning of phase 2, Oracle felt that they just might have a chance in killing her this night with their new ZERG RECRUITS for that week.
While our band of internets an heroes laid in wait listening to their Lady Vashj wipes, Oracle finally had a breakthrough, they reached Phase 3 (FINAL FORM SSJ3) for the first time in over 60 hours of wiping. This was the perfect opportunity for our band of an heroes to strike, swiftly we performed multiple kickall functions on the vent, in turn completely cutting their vital communication link and successfully destroying their hopes of killing Lady Vashj for that night.
After weeks and weeks of raiding their ventrilo server it finally clicked in Durthas' superior mind that possibly someone had the admin password that shouldn't have. (what a genius!)
They tried to ban some suspect usernames that we were using to listen in to their raids, however luckily our band of an heroes were using an IP spoofing program, and we quickly logged back in and proceeded to ban everyone.
Ventrilo password was changed and the ventrilo was successfully hijacked (see ventrilo pic), leaving Oracle nerds squirming in their piles of feces. A common practice used by HARDCORE raiding guilds like Oracle in which the player is not allowed to leave their chair for the duration of the 6 hour raids until 4AM in the morning.
Fun Facts
- Durthas holds the world record for being the only person to be playing World of Warcraft during the birth of his child!
- Durthas defeated Awake of Nihilum in the 2007 Battle of the Guild Leaders competition!
- Durthas has perfected his technique in guild motivation. this technique is commonly known as shouting
- Many female ex-Oracle members will vouch for how much Durthas loves to cyber.
- Durthas and Serephina are lifetime members of Gaia Online!
- Durthas disowned his child for not being more appreciative of the work he does on the internets!
- Durthas is openly bisexual.
Oracle Guild Motto's
Oracle - Better than Nihilum.
Oracle - Santa is bringing us Vashj for Christmas.
Oracle - Zerg recruiting retards makes all our problems go away.
Oracle - Who needs skill when you can raid for 30 hours a week.
Oracle - Our raids are always vashj killing raids.
Famous Durthas Quotes
"This is a Vashj Killing raid" -July 14th 2007, July 15th, July 17th, July 18th etc..
"Chaotic if you don't reply I'm booting you from the raid for afking" -SSC Wipefest of July
"Hey guys my Wife just had her baby" - Durthas on World of Warcraft during his first borns birth
"Hey guys I will be home in 15 minutes Traffic is heavy" - Durthas on laptop driving home from work and playing wow
"HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY NOT HAVE CLICKED THE CUBE WE HAD THAT YOU IDIOT" - Durthas motivational speeches on Magtheridon wipes
"Maldi is a pussy who can't call a spade a spade" - Durthas
"Leave the guild management to me (Like Awake) and Cleev (Like Kungen)" - Durthas referring to himself as of similar leadership qualities to that of Nihilum the 2nd best guild in the world (still miles behind #1 Oracle)
"die of jealousy while we kill vashj before you ever will" - Durthas exploding after I asked to join oracle (Quote added by Extatic - Also known as 'Goldplease')
Gallery
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Secret Cyber lovers Durthas and Serephina. -
Oracle > Nihilum as proven by Durthas. -
The elite group of Oracle raiders, More commonly known as retards.
See also
External Links
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Durthas is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |