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Falun Gong

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Li Chonghing tryig to store magic qi gong and fly
Cool logo of Falun Chong, interested?

Falun Gong (pronounced Falling Chong) also known as Falun Dafa (Falun Dafuq) is a chinkoid cult created by some retarded faggot named Li Hongzhi (pronounced Lee Chongching). It is a cult know for their usage of Swastika, their rituals and their belief that qi gong (chingchong) will allow them to fly. They are only good for angering commies, angering their fellow chinks, their organs and their women.

Their great leader

Just like all cults and other asians, Falung Chong loves their great leader They see him as their teacher and all white and all asian weirdos of cult love to lick his small tiny balls. ın China most of their cult members said no to the greater chink's call to leave cult and killed themselves. Their organs are now transplanted too other chinoids. Meanwhile American community are known to lay down in streets, doing white leftie liberal shit, meditating and using fake blood to increase interests of edgy teenagers. Their leader does not participate any of these. He is just in some villa watching Buddhist porn.

Life of their great leader

He was graduated from some commie spiritual school for teaching ancient spiritual arts of movements. After gathering large amount of lonely men, karens and random loser girls. He started preaching against commies and daily life. He was asked to cease this by government drones but he gone to American embassy and with help of his little friends he fast-travelled to America.

Cult of Personality

Falun Chonged says "please join our cult 5 dolla 5 dolla we had bdsm in china"


OOOO GREAT READER IS FLYIN!

Falun Gong members all love to show themselves as some angelic shit. Especially their leader. Their members are known for seething over some silly comic book because it made fun off their great reader[1]. They often depict him as flying, listening his speeches and act like they met some ancient alien Jew when talking about him. He indeed cause of this with books and videos he distributed and also his interviews include this bullshit.

   
 
Are you a human being?
 

 
 

—Interviewer

   
 
Nah man, but you can call me human [2]
 

 
 

—Falun Cock leader


Religious Practices

Just like any chinkoid religion, they have their own rituals too!

Meditating

Unlike the curry nigger religion of bald guys or Marcus Aurelius' stoic shithole, Falun Gong simply dont meditate just by standing rememberin and chanting. They move their legs, arms and head in certain way to store energy for their future battles. They call these moves "qi gong". They also do it in streets covered in fake blood and giving out tickets and pamphlets written in some weird alphabet. Imagine they were the popular religion and they had churches everywhere, it would be a fun to see people sleeping together with fake blood.

Traditional Chinese Dancing

typical falun gong cutie in shen yun

Another ritual is dancing opera shows, also known as 神韻藝術團 (choo foo dang yun, ah sorry it means Shen Yun Performing Arts). These dancing shows can be obtained from some random falunist but also can be bought online. It is a supposedly ching traditional dance but there is no such thing as chinese traditional dance. These shows features not only their standard anti-commie anti-anything and spiritual propaganda but also contains some sexually arousing costumes and moves. A way to wash your brains. And some Chinese nationalist propaganda in there lel. Have fun, if you are lurking this website you have already watched Japanese propaganda and animated version of this show so it wont be too strange for you.

Activism

Only our cult is good! That is why anonymous should attack others and defend us yay.

Other Daily Rituals

Falun Dong member doing her daily rituals
  • Telling people that Chinks are bad
  • Promoting d̶r̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶b̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶p̶ Chinese Medicine
  • Consuming b̶a̶t̶ ̶p̶o̶o̶p̶ Chinese Medicine
  • Reading some wonky newspaper
  • Voting for whites whites
  • Licking great leader's balls
  • Licking white balls
  • Recruiting some hippies
  • Reading ancient ching chong magic
  • Having a stroke
  • Losing your organs
  • Wake up


Media

They have a newspaper named Epoch Times. Newspaper is distributed for free but also largely anti leftist. Yes, it is not anti-communist. It is embodiment of "anythingleftofpaleoconservatism is communist". It is for free so if you are broke as fuck and you have no some weed paper for your wonky kush n' sheeiiiit then you can get one of those. Otherwise there are better and online news sources such as internet forum to call everyone faggot and same internet forum without ability to call people faggots.

Beliefs

Aside from inner energy and meditation, they also believe in numerous spiritually helping things. Such as "quantum Physics is part of ancient chingo culture [3], people can burn in command of remote controllers with evil commmie tech then they will not die but also hospital kills people [4], democracy is good [5], democracy is evil[6], they can grow new organs[7] and our good old curry nigger was a scientist! Also reptilian aliens have invaded, became buddhas and commies then created computer![2], Indians created by dancing Buddhas and Egyptians were asians [8].

Things they hate

Not a cult
Maybe a cult?

Notable members


Videos

How to store energiez

Tradition of crying and attention-whoring with snuff porn

Wait what i thought commes were killing everyone, what are they doin in chinkland

Great leader!!!

Dammit Jews!

We wuz empirez n shit intro for dance orgy

Ear bleeding torture

Sorry, wrong "traditional dance"

Gallery


See also


[Close them downOpen the records]
Falun Gong is part of a series on Cults
UFO Cults: ScientologyGalactic Federation of LightHeaven's GateRaeliansNibiru
New-age Faggotry:

WiccaThe DolmenMooniesPaganismBlack AlchemyFagnosticismPrem RawatVoluntary Human Extinction MovementThothRon PaulRed Ice Creations

Raep cults: Al QaedaManiacs Murder CultManson FamilyMasonsSatanism
Jesus Cults: Aum ShinrikyoBranch DavidiansChick TractsEx-GayMormonismPeople's TempleWestboro Baptist Church
Wannabe Cults: SephyismSonic CulTVampiresGothsFurriesMulderiteWooksBroniesLibertariansFeminism
Stupid Cults: ScientologyAtheismSocial JusticeBreatharianMichelle Belanger/House KheperuSonic PassionHighgate Vampire, theThe Tenacious Unicorn Ranch
Troll Cults: AnonymousCult of the Dead CowRaptor JesusJohn SolomonChurch of the SubGeniusDiscordianism
Web 2.0 Cults: Atheist Scum UnitedKiwi FarmsKony 2012Rational Response SquadRationalWikiWikipediaWP:DAILYMAILYoung Tubers United

Falun Gong is part of a series on "The Qing of Encyclopedia Dramatica"

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