Homestar Runner

ParkingStones doing some Cosplay.

American Heritage Dictionary defines Homestar Runner (or Homestar) as: "toons and games featuring the wacky adventures of Homestar, Strong Bad, and the rest of the gang." Adventures? Checking our Email is an adventure? Whatever.

Homestar Runner was known for being a clean humor website. Which happened to include jokes about shit, piss, death, blood, and touching people in inappropriate ways. Then it died.

The Characters

Well, maybe it *is* an adventure after all.

• Homestar Runner — A gay guy with no hands.
• Strong Bad — A self-absorbed guy with a mask for a head. Actually produces some lulz.
• The Cheat — Strong Bad's pet who makes people believe pencil shavings are legal tender.
• Strong Mad — Pretty much a stupid jock.
• Strong Sad — An emo who is constantly abused by Strong Bad, much to Strong Bad's lulz.
• Pom-Pom — Fat.
• Bubs — The owner of the local concession stand. He has prices so high, even Jews are jealous of them. Is based on a nigger concession stand host.
• Coach Z — The fucking weirdo pedophile coach.
• Marzipan — The queen of the hippies.
• The King of Town - He's an unfunny fat old guy.
• The Poopsmith — He's a mute who shovels te King's shit into piles for some reason.
• Homsar — A retard that can warp reality. No, you're not on drugs.
• Senor Cardgage — Creepy old guy.
• Stinkoman- Dragon Ball Z parody. Likes to give people the finger.
• Trogdor-A DRAGON WITH A MUSCLE ARM HOW ORIGINAL.

Content

Homestar Runner was known for its unabashed racist content. Grammatical incorrectness was a point of comedy based on racial characteristics and speech impediment, to the point where those who sound different are meant to be funny, making fun of several black/hispanic stereotypes due to their perceived inferiority by the more "intellectual" white authors, who point out the comicality of differing speech patterns as both simple and childlike in comparison, as a sort of impediment befitting the handicapped, who are also made fun of. Black Vernacular English was shown as an ignorant, childlike, anti-intellectual style of speech for its comic simplicity compared to the more "normal" Caucasian speech, especially when white characters derisively use hip hop slang among regular speech, from the innocuous Teen Girl Squad using "Dag, Yo" to contrast with the all white cast, to the black narrator as comedic device in "Where U Goin'?"

Examples include:

• The character Bubs, with his raspy bassist voice, was a comical "George Jefferson" given to bouts of emotion and irrationality, while dispensing advice as a magical negro. The blue skin tone and widened teeth give an "alien minority" appearance with the storekeeper role giving the impression of the homely local whose education was derived only from the streets, and must continually serve the Caucasian protagonists who are not restricted to their social roles.
• Coach Z was the obligatory stereotypical "wigger" who listens to Wu-Tang, wears a backwards hat and "Flava flav" style bling, and uses butchered hip hop colloqialisms to demonstrates the perceived ignorance and childlike quality of black culture through botched imitation (These peoples try to fade me, Hip Hop Dance, Rap Song, The Z was All Up Ins), showing that imitation of black culture leads to simple mindedness and deserves to be laughed at, compared to the assumed normality and superiority of white culture, in the same way "Malibu's Most Wanted" was an indirect criticism of black culture by "innocent" mockery.
• Strongbad and Senor Cardgage both use their "funny" accents as a point of comedic appeal, as minorities who sound different are naturally funnier in contrast to the "normal Caucasian" style of speech, just as the Mexican wrestling mask was meant to be funny for being both odd and foreign.
• Mental disability and speech impediments are treated as a point of derision in The Interview and Donut Unto Others.
• Strong Bad has no compunction towards mocking black people in extra plug, garage sale and pizzaz, and considers Nordic and Germanic Metal more pure than the music of black people.
• In Baddest of the Bands, Strong Bad says the King of Town's Richard Pryor impression was too white, believing skin tone determines character more than individual action.
• In Strong Bad Email #69: Personal Favorites, in the knife fight with Pom Pom, Coach Z's line was "I'm a white guy with a knife!" This was changed within a week after the email came out to show the authors aren't racist.
• Homepage 25 has an Aunt Jemima character criticizing Homestar as "whitey", intended as comedic since the uneducated mammy stereotype has no power to cause real change in regards to her social situation.
• The rapper "3-D" has a song called Poot Slap to emphasize simple vulgarity in hip hop, while Peacey P suggests black people are unintelligible, egotistical drug pushers who are too dumb to spell properly.
• In "Doomy Tales of the Macabre," Bubs acts out the part of Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction, establishing that he is a nigger.

Fans

Uh oh, too late.

A typical Homestar Runner fan.

What is this world coming to?

Yeah, they have a few of those. Thank God the characters aren't really all that human or else I'd see more of them cosplayed and that would suck. They'd be like Star Wars fans, but trying to be funny all the time. The last thing I'd want when I'm at some convention listening to some better web animators talk is to have a Homestarmy of Strong Bads behind me MST3King the whole thing. They would pay. Thankfully, this scenario doesn't really exist, because there really are no good web animators. At all.

Every Homestar Runner fan in existence claims they were the one who sent the Strong Bad e-mail "virus" to try to prove they're cool as if it's something to be proud of. Most message boards will see at least three newbies who claim this throughout the forum's lifespan. This is all total bullshit as everyone knows it was I who sent him the email!!!111

The Homestar Runner Wiki

Now, you would think that a site with "toons", "games", and "wacky adventures" wouldn't have assholes as fans. And they didn't. Until the wiki.

A sample picture from the original kids books.

The Homestar Runner Wiki makes Wikipedia look like Newgrounds in its fascinating tenasity to destroy any and all lulz. IT'S A CARTOON, YOU FUCKS! GET OVER YOURSELVES.

Basically, the sole purpose of the Wiki is to obsess over every minute detail of the Homestar Runner universe. It's like TV Tropes, but with even moar serious business and Asperger's.

• In one scene of a particular Homestar Runner short, two Homestar Runners appear in one frame. This being an oddity until you take a look at the raw Flash File and see the one further out of frame has a mustache on. A page marked "Mustachio'd Homestar Runner" was created and was then merged into the article for the toon. This might not be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that this page is the perfect example of people who fail at lulz.
• The Wiki has a policy page known as S.T.U.F.F. (meaning "Stick Things Up yer Fuzzy Fundament"). The fun facts are the trivia, real world references, and goofs in each cartoon. Instead of allowing separate pages for each cartoon for people to freely discuss their own insights (Ok, some of them are definitely NOT insightful), the members of this Wiki vote on whether or not certain facts belong on the page. Most of what becomes the "Fun Facts" are plain as the nose on your face and even they are argued over. Disregard that, STUFF is defunct. Such as
  • The argument over whether or not the name "Silent J" was a not so clever reference to "Jay and Silent Bob". Stupidity Here.
  • In the email "Do Over" Homestar eats coins and a jiggly sound is made in his stomach. The night before on Family Guy, Peter Griffin ate coins and a jiggly sound is made in his stomach. This reference passes, which I could care less about and Jay decided to somehow challenge the entire STUFF process over this fact. Ultra Stupidity here.
  • ParkingStones isn't so much trolling as pointing out the truth. Super Mega Ultra Stupidity here
  • The argument over whether not "Storng" Bad saying he killed Pom Pom was a reference to South Park and "killing Kenny."

Super Mega Ultra Hyper Turbo Giga Lurg Stupidity here

• • There are also tons of articles about how many times pizza or ice cream has appeared in the Homestar Runner universe. Seriously, what the fuck?
    • Information about these topics are usually followed by; "This is another case of ice cream appearing in homestarrunner." (Next stop: leaves in "Charlie Brown" and forks in "The Muppets".)
• Despite the Wiki's obsessing over the canon of "the Homestar Runner universe" with the autistic fervor of a fucking biblical literalist, they'll also blatantly pull fanwank out of their gaping anuses whenever they see fit. For example, they changed the fucking name of a recurring character just because they didn't like the official name given to it, and then the creators of this faggotry said HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS and started using the fucking fanwanked name and in doing so gave the fucktarded hivemind of a Wiki permanent access to their tight Mormon fuckholes.

TL;DR: HRWiki defines autism in ways that TV Tropes and Chris-chan could only dream of.

Oh, and in this day and age, the HRWiki's most active user is a 13-year-old boy who calls himself "Gfdgsgxgzgdrc". Hardly the sort of user you'd want to represent a Wiki.

Death

After slowing up the pace of Strong Bad e-mail updates, focusing on a Homestar Runner adventure game, and then slowing updates in general, even skipping the holiday ones they like to do every year, by the end of 2009 the Brothers Chaps were looking for a way out. That way out came from a parasite that Missy Palmer, Mike Chapman's wife contracted sometime around March 2009, and had nearly reached maturity. On December 1st, they announced that Missy had another baby. What followed was two updates in nine months, cumulating on September 7th with an update that was basically a coupon, of all things. Now, it's possible that the site might be restored when the brat goes off to preschool, assuming Missy doesn't pop another one out in the meantime, but more likely, this is the end of the website, and the only thing stopping them from simply saying they won't put up any more updates is the hope that they can still squeeze some money out of any moron that buys merchandise from a website that hasn't had a significant update in nearly a year. At the time, they are doing a bunch of fucking shit, they had like a million babbies and they are making a movie right now. Homestar Runner still sucks.

And on the third day Strong Bad will rise again

Not as dead as once thought....but still pretty damn close

On Febuary 28th 2012, Matt Chapman posted a picture on his Twitter of a tiny segment the script for "SBemail 206" with the words "Someday, when you least expect it..." alongside it. This caused the H*R wiki and the fan base in general to collectively cum in their pants. Odds are we can expect this SBemail to be made and released sometime before the end of this millennium. It is now 2013 and the Brothers Chaps have produced jackshit, other than their pre-teen comedy garbage.

In 2013, Strong Bad and Homestar introduced W00tstock 2013 ([1]). The entire H*R fanbase came in their pants and all over their They Might Be Giants records.

In 2014, Homestar Runner made a huge comeback with a April Fools cartoon along with a couple Halloween cartoons.

Trogdor

After hearing their fans say such things as "I'm fucking a dragon" to "Fuck you, I'm a dragon!", the Brothers Chaps felt it would be necessary to create a cartoon with either dragons or fucking. Clearly, they made the wrong choice, as Trogdor appeared as a result of Strong Bad's shitty art. That may have been the end of it, had the cartoon not ended with a gay song. The Brothers Chaps added it at the last minute when Matt started mumbling the chorus while taking it in the ass. HR fans everywhere collectively orgasmed at the song and engraved Trogdor as their own meme. The song itself is unfunny and shit.

Trogdor's status quickly fell to old meme when the next cartoon about bum-fucking was uploaded. Regardless, HR oldfags continue to worship the dragon as their king, ensuring absolutely no sex.

Trogdor was revived with the release of Guitar Hero II, where the theme song appeared as a bonus track. The fact that the song was included induced some lulz, but an equal amount of anti-lulz was released when people actually thought they could play it on their guitar.

On Trogdor's 5th birthday, The Brothers Chaps told their entire audience to fuck off by completely ignoring Trogdor and dedicating a cartoon to the dragon drawn before him. Lulz and drama ensued, since every HR fan knows that Trogdor is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

Seriously, though. Trogdor is made of awesomeness and win.

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Another important notice.

Quasidan, powering up to fight the Pink Robots (and Homestar Runner fans.)

Should anyone, anywhere sing the "Techno" or reference the "lightswitch rave" joke, the DJ will be cracking skulls. Thank you. That is all. LOL TECHNO MUSIC TECHNO MUSIC DO DO DA DA DA!!

External Links

• A typical Homestar Runner cartoon
• "Experimental Film" -- These guys did a video for They Might be Giants.
• "Matthew Elliot" -- A Fans Flash animation.
• "Fanstuff Wiki" -- The Homestar Runner's Wiki's Place to throw the Fan Stuff. Mostly inhabited by 10-12 year olds who downloaded the free 30 day Flash trial and think they could make decent animations.