IRC

“	It's how hackers talk when they don't want to be overheard.	„
—A shitty CBS show chock full of dumb jews who should stick to controlling the media and doing the WTC and not talk about computers in front of a camera

Internet Relay Chat (IRC) (AKA Multiplayer Notepad) has been around for 65 billion years. It's the bastard offspring of UNIX talk and ntalk protocols.

ED's IRC server.

What you look like while on IRC.

To put it simply, IRC is like a normal chat system, except instead of chat (which doesn't happen as everyone is either idle or a bot the fbi), the main activity of IRC is op-wars and denial of service attacks. Ops are people who kick and ban those from a room who suck up the least (the non-ops don't have that so they denial of service attack them instead), which causes the banned users to retaliate by DDoSing the ops and the IRC network and ChanServ, then gaining ops on a split.

Unsurprisingly, the existence of channels (to make communication a bit easier) created potential for vast amounts of drama, which quickly transformed from being potential to actual drama, human beings being what they are. Channel and network drama happens at an exponential rate of growth, but since anything rarely goes past words in the IRC protocol, it's entirely harmless and pointless. Stupid drama. IRC also is used to transfer two very different types of important communication.

IRC users are on a continuous quest to gain more status. There are always more channels and more servers on which to gain ops. IRC is also a center for warez. Once you've got lots of ops, IRC users can try and climb the "LeetLadder". You've never seen anything so useless as someone with lots of IRCops who tries to use that status IRL.

Most people use smileys to express their feelings on IRC. Meanings of smileys differ from channel to channel. For example, people on one channel might say "::D" when they see something funny, but on another they might say "=DDDd" to express the same feeling. Acronyms like LOL, ROFL or LMAO are also used to express feelings but, as with smileys, their emotional content differ greatly from channel to channel.

Much lulz on IRC can be had at the expense of nubs, who are often told to scroll up after pasting old memes.

Clients

There are quite a few options to consider when choosing an IRC client. Here are a few.

mIRC (Windows)

mIRC is one of the most popular IRC clients out there, but noone really knows why.

Pros

• Very widely used.
• Sets the standard for IRC clients: logging, scripting, etc.
• Window arrangement. (able to see multiple channels windows at a time)

Cons

• Jeware.
• General piece of shit.
• Written by some Arab.
• Biggest target for 0-day.
• Scripting language is unusable in other clients, meaning that scripts are not portable without re-writing it in a different language.

http://www.mirc.com/

http://distro.ws/index.php?dir=&search=mIRC.v6.35&search_mode=f

ChatZilla (Cross-platform, firefox extension)

An OK client in the form of a Firefox extension. It's got the basic stuff an IRC client should have, like logging.

Pros

• Easy to use.
• Can be run in its own Firefox tab; just type "chrome://chatzilla/content/chatzilla.xul" in the address bar.

Cons

• Easily acquirable, even by newfags.
• When logging, it creates a new file for every day. Not good if you're a nostalgiafag who likes to go back to look at old times.
• Using ChatZilla instantly turns you from super 1337 to a total n00b with a single click. Expect to be ridiculed if you are connecting to any servers where hard chatting is serious business.

*zaiger sets mode: +b *!chatzilla@*

HydraIRC (Windows)

Another okay client for Windows.

Pros:

• Channel Monitor window allows you to view messages from all channels.

Cons:

• Still in beta, and hasn't been worked on in ages.
• Advertises itself in /quit messages.

http://www.hydrairc.com/

Nettalk (Windows)

Despite its (somewhat) epicness, noone has a clue that this client even exists.

Pros:

• So simple every newfag can use it.
• Actually free
• Pretty much the only client with a proper file transfer overview.
• Won't lock up, no matter what kind of flood you throw at it.
• Runs in Linux through WINE.

Cons:

• Needs plugin for SSL support.
• Uses BASIC for scripting. You know, that language that everyone hates.
• Doesn't log joins/parts/modes, only messages.

KVIrc (Windows & Linux)

This client is best known for its customizability; nearly every aspect of its theme can be changed.

Pros:

• Themes can be customized and changed if you're into that sort of thing.
• Activity Monitor option displays a neat little colored icon besides each nickname, showing how active they are. Helpful if you're an op and want to clean out spais/lurkers.
• Scriptable.

Cons:

• As with mIRC, scripts made for KVIrc can't be used in other clients. Not like there are many scripts out there for it anyhow.
• Tends to get rather slow on older computers.
• Like ChatZilla, logs are split into days, making them harder to search through.

http://www.kvirc.net/

irssi (Cross platform)

Console-based IRC client. Despite that, it's one of the best clients out there, if you know what you're doing.

Pros:

• Uses Perl as its scripting language. No need to learn a language you're only going to use for one purpose!
• Because it's console-based, you can put irssi on a shell and run it from any computer with an SSH client.
• Very fast, so it's great for old computers.

Cons:

• May be hard to use if you're used to GUI-based clients, or if you're a retard. Using a program in Cygwin called "screen" helps.
• Can't do much without scripts.
• May lead to suicide when setting up. Run it in Cygwin. Running it in DOS would be stupid.

http://irssi.org/

Reduce your risk of being dox'd

If you are using IRSSI, you can reduce the risk of being doxed by changing your real_name and user_name, near the end of ~/.irssi/config

settings = {
  core = {
    # setting = "new_value"; # "old_value";
    real_name = "nobody"; # "John Smith";
    user_name = "nobody"; # "jsmith";
    nick = "Sexyman6969";
  };
  "fe-text" = { actlist_sort = "refnum"; };
};

Running Cygwin on a remote server also helps, especially if you want to use IRC on a mobile phone where the phone provider does not allow IRC to be used over their network. On a mobile phone, you can use ConnectBot for Android. iPhone users are too retarded to use IRC, so an SSH client has never been made for iOS.

XChat (Windows, Linux, OS X [as XChat Aqua])

Nice, clean client with a good amount of features.

Pros:

• Able to use Perl, Python, and a few other languages.
• Some popup menus are customizable, as are a group of buttons under the userlist.
• No longer outputs all IRCop blabber to your active window. It puts it all nicely in the 'status' window of the server you are connected to.
• Easy to spoof CTCP replies with to be a leet hacker
• Some faggot ported fuckyou.pl and a flooding script to Xchat to make oper abuse easier.

Windows version: :[1] use Launcher.bat to open it. This is much better then some script kiddie using a bytejump in disasm and fucking up memory plus this requires no updates on new versions. (This jewware is sold under violation of the license xchat is developed under, so fuck the jew that sells it.)

[2] A better and free open source version.

Should be in your linux repos too.

Colloquy (OS X)

Decent client, more than enough for most irc use. However, it locks up hard when any open channel or query gets flooded.

http://colloquy.info/

Linkinus (OS X)

A pretty good client. Doesn't lock up like Colloquy, but has it's downfalls. It is a new application, so it is not as advanced as the others. But very stable.

http://conceitedsoftware.com/products/linkinus NOT CRACKED

Snak (OS X)

Probably the best GUI client for OS X. But it's fucking jewware.

http://www.snak.com/ NOT CRACKED

jmIrc (J2ME-enabled devices, such most cell phones)

An IRC client for...your cell phone? Yeah, a lot of apps like this one exist, but this seems like the best free one out there.

Pros:

• Well, with this, you can IRC IRL.
• A "Favorites" list allows you to keep a list of frequently-used commands.

Cons:

• It's made for a cell phone, so you're not gonna see a lot of features.
• On some phones, it may freeze up when trying to send a message.

http://jmirc.sourceforge.net/

Limechat

Decent enough client for the Apple iPhone, probably one of the better mobile clients on the market.

Web-based

Mibbit is a god-awful web client that should never be used, ever. It has also been pwned by htp, one further reason why mibbit is absolute shit. Any competent network will allow noobs to access through the qwebirc client.

Bots

Because IRC is a tedious bore, where the few and far between lulz drown in a sea of drama, people often leave. The jewel encrusted founders, who believe that user counts contribute to their e-penis, pad out the channel with unintuitive automated clients called bots. A bot’s job is to ensure you have no lulz at all by wearing the remaining human user-base down with constant abuse. Bots employ the following tactics:

• spamming the Urban Dictionary definition of queef every quarter-second
• repeating the same damn 6 quiz questions in sequence for 6 hours straight (which the players still fail to answer correctly)
• kicking anyone who types more than 2 lines in 10 seconds
• getting into kick-loops with each other
• foiling your mass-kick antics

There are many different types of bots, but they’re all owned and configured by retards, so whatever positive features they have will be disabled, or twisted into various extremes of stupid.

See: madcow

Guide for new users

• Type '/server (server)' or use the connect to connect to a new IRC server (use '/server -m (server)' to connect in a new IRC window without disconnecting from the current server. There are several large networks like EFnet (irc.efnet.net) and Rizon(irc.rizon.net, aka animu central). Of other note are private servers irc.pirated.ws, irc.7chan.org, and irc.chatnets.net. Some places, like Rizon or Chatnets, or really any place except stone-age EFnet, has a NickServ. Register with NickServ (type '/msg nickserv register passwordhere realemailhere') and then '/msg nickserv identify password' to be identified. Some places, like #4chan on Rizon, require you to be registered with NickServ to join.
• Type '/j #channel' or '/join #channel' (it's the same) to join a channel. To part, just close it with the red X, or type /part #channel somemessage if you want to be fancy.
• To change nick, type '/nick newnickhere'. There is a limit on how long the nick can be; some networks only allow a maximum of 9 characters, while others let you go up to 18.
• To send a private message, use '/msg nick message here blah blah dongs'. In most clients, private messages appear in a little new window.

People on IRC

• Channel founders, +q, have a "~" by their name, and are the creators of the IRC channel. They can change all channel settings and modes.
• Super-ops, aka +a or admins, have a "&" by their name, have the same powers as ops, can access some ChanServ commands, and cannot be kicked by normal ops.
• Ops, aka +o, have an "@" by their name. They can ban, kick, add and remove ops, change the topic, and make your life hell.
• Half ops, aka hops or +h, they have a "%" by their name. They can ban and kick, add and remove voice, change the topic and set a few modes.
• Voiced, or +v, have a "+". They are just regular users who we trust for the most part and have been there a while. Also, if the channel is set +m (moderated, basically mute) they and the +q, +a, +o and +h people can talk, while regular users can't.
  • A few channels set +v on join, usually if it's +m so that ops can remove voice from people who spam or whatever.

A user without a "~", "&", "@", "%", or "+" is just a regular person. They may feel as clueless as you. Just use IRC, and you will learn. Weeaboos, check out irc.rizon.net, gamers, irc.gamesurge.net, and really just join random channels to see what's going on. On efnet, basically any word has a channel for it, so explore and lurk.

Note about Lurking: SAY SOMETHING EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Many channels get sick of people just joining and watching, at least let them know who you are so someone doesn't kick you or something. So, you can lurk, but be sure to talk occasionally. The IRC world is extremely intolerant of newfags.

A side note, another breed of IRC dweller not previously mentioned is the IRC Operator (IRCop). Worse than a channel operator, these bastards will kill or Z-Line you for merely existing. Identified by a different nick color (for mIRC lusers), or by the presence of the following in a /whois (which, by the way, they get alerted to people /whois'ing them), avoid these beings at all costs, as most of them have little, or no sense of humor.

How to identify an IRC Operator (from mIRC):

[04:13] * ThisGuy is [email protected]
[04:13] * ThisGuy is <<deathbringer>>
[04:13] * ThisGuy is an IRC Operator/Server Administrator/Server Co-Administrator/Services Administrator/Network Administrator (only one of these)
[04:13] * ThisGuy is on ?#staff, ~lobby, &staffjerks

YOU WERE WARNED

Channel Operator (@)

Operators are the sysops of the IRC realm. They only exist to kick you repeatedly and ban you when you make a faggy comment. They are power-hungry bastards with no sense of compassion. Aside from idling, most time spent on IRC is from op wars--this is fighting over the power to be an op. OPs often grow bored on IRC and entertain themselves by kicking and banning people.
Channel Operators also make up the most important line of defense in flood attacks, if your channel gets flooded, the best way to handle it is like this:

/mode #channel +o pynchon

How To Get Ops

<superfreek> give me ops
<@retardop> ok
** channel set +o superfreek
<@superfreek> lol
** channel set +b retardop
** retardop has been kicked by superfreek (lol)
-retardop- omg bash.org

Tips for more experienced users

Secure noticing

To send a message to everyone on a channel with a certain level or higher, type this:

/notice (~|&|@|%|+)#channel message

where the symbol represents the minimum level to send the message to (see "People on IRC").

Use this to share sensitive information without spais finding out.

Services

There are IRC services on most servers (this is mainly Anope services, others exist. what works for one doesn't work for all, don't get butthurt when banned for wrong commands), save for stone-age EFnet. Read:

NickServ

Use NickServ to keep others from using your nick and to keep ops/voice/etc. on channels.

• /msg nickserv register password email - Register your nickname.
• /msg nickserv identify password - Identify yourself.
• /msg nickserv ghost nick password - Get someone who's using your nick to quit. It can also be used in case you disconnect, but your old nick hasn't pinged out yet.
• /msg nickserv help - List all commands.

ChanServ

With a registered and identified nick in an unregistered channel where you are an op:

/msg ChanServ register #channelname password brief description.

Managing channel access

You can have services automatically op/voice/etc. people, depending on which system you use. Note that when giving a user access, that user must be registered with NickServ.

XOP system

/msg ChanServ xop #channelname add nick

Where "xop" is either:

• "vop" for auto-voice
• "hop" for auto-halfops
• "aop" for auto-ops
• "sop" for auto-superops

You can also change "add" to "del" to delete someone from your list.

Access level system

/msg ChanServ access #channelname add nick level

• Adds a user to the access list with that level. If a user is already on the list, their level will simply be changed to the specified level.

/msg ChanServ access #channelname del nick

• Deletes a user from the access list.

By default, the following access levels are defined:

• Founder - Gives +qo upon entering, allows full access to ChanServ commands. Only one user may have this status.
• 10 - Gives +ao upon entering, allows access to akick.
• 5 - Gives +o upon entering.
• 3 - Gives +v upon entering.
• 0 - Nothing.
• <0 - User cannot be opped.

ChanServ kick

Too much of a pussy to kick/ban someone yourself? ChanServ can do it for you!

/msg ChanServ (kick|ban) #channelname nick reason

Note that if the channel has signkick enabled (default), your nick will be displayed in the kick message.

HostServ

With a registered nick, you can replace your plain old hostname with a vHost, which is basically just a fake hostname.

To request a vHost, type:

/msg HostServ request [email protected]

You will then have to wait for your vHost to be approved. Some networks do it automatically after about a few hours, while other nets have it to where it must be manually approved.

Fun Things To Do On IRC

• Abuse Channel Mode +f; for example set /mode #channel +f [1t#b]:999 which will kick pretty much anyone saying anything in the channel.
• Put people in kickban loops; Join a channel, register it with ChanServ, do /cs akick #channel add *!*@*, leave the channel, now type //raw join #channel $crlf mode #channel +e ~c:#(a channel that the targeted user is on) $crlf invite TargetUser #channel and watch.
• Abuse ChanServ privileges; a fun thing to do is clearing out the entire channel by doing /cs clear #channel users which kicks everyone from the channel. Alternatively, to cause more destruction, do /cs akick #channel add *!*@* then /mode #channel +e ~c:(a channel alot of people in the channel are also on) then /cs akick #channel enforce. This will send everyone in the target channel that is on the alternate channel you specified into an infinite kickban loop, as well as clearing everyone else out. (Note: On most servers you must use an extban ~c: because ChanServ will detect normal except masks and remove them)
• Abuse OperServ; go onto a populated channel and type /os akillchan kill +0 #channel Hi2u

See Also

• IRC Networks
• ASCII
• Duckat
• ED IRC
• Get On IRC Fgt
• IRC FAQ
• MIRC Script
• Xnite - Furfag on IRC.

ED IRC, Jew.

External Links

• Wikipedia IRC Chat Logger (Archive)

IRC is part of a series on acronyms

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