Carly Fiorina

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Furher Carly before her bout with cancer

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And after her cancer.

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Another post cancer pick, now with a RAPE face.

Carleton S. "Carly" Fiorina is yet another Texas Republican running as U.S. Senator for California against Barbara Boxer. Carly brags that she was the first woman to successfully run a Fortune 20 company despite nearly destroying it. [1]

Currently, Carly seems to be running for either best Pee Wee Herman impersonator or Worst CEO/Politican ever. Every photo of her appears to be her in a pantsuit.

Her husband Frank is a former executive for AT&T.

The CEO from Hell

Fiorina , the short-haired CEO from hell, merged together Compaq and Hewlett-Packard in 2000. The new Hewlett-Packard saw 18,000 layoffs. Carly justifies her actions were necessary to create 24,000 jobs...outside the United States.

	“	There is no job that is America's God-given right anymore. We have to compete for jobs as a nation. Our competitiveness as a nation is not inevitable. It will not just happen.	„
	—Carly Fiorina, January 7, 2004.

In 2005, HP fired her for being a total bitch, and for letting go of 3000 more workers to buy two Gulf Stream Private Jets.[2] Some say the creators of Google bought those jets shortly after she returned them. However, Carly didn't walk away with nothing. As part of her termination, she gave herself a $21,000,000 golden parachute, of which part of her severance package was spent on her campaign.

McCain's Campaign Economic Manager

As John McCain's campaign economic manager, Fiorina, being the hip trendy person that she is, encouraged John McCain to pick Sarah Palin over Tim Pawlenty as vice president. Her influence and poor decision making paved the way Barack Obama to move into the White House.

Faux News sauce

Fiorina, like Palin, has been a constant contributor at Faux News especially Faux News Sunday.

Campaign Commercials

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Forced Meme: I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!

Calling out her opponents Tom Campbell and Barbara Boxer, Fiornia hired some stoner who watched way too many Terry Gilliam movies to make the following commercials.

The whole purpose of these commercials is to create or use forced memes that are unfunny.

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Links

• Carly FAILorina
• CarlyForCalifornia.INFO
• Carly Fiorina for US Senate? NOT!
• Facts about Carly

See Also

• Hillary Clinton
• John McCain
• Sarah Palin
• Sharron Angle
• Republicunts

Carly Fiorina is part of a series on Politics.

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	Carly Fiorina is part of a series on Fox News [Back to The StudioOver To You]
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