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Jeremy Corbyn: Difference between revisions
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'''Jeremy Corbyn''' is a [[Communist]] that [[hax|somehow against all odds]] became leader of the Labour Party and promptly fucked it up. | '''Jeremy Corbyn''' is a [[Communist]] that [[hax|somehow against all odds]] became leader of the Labour Party and promptly fucked it up. | ||
Comrade Corbyn used to be some [[useless|backbench]] pinko that had been an MP since the 80's that often campaigned for things that smart politicians who thought about how it would affect them in the future would stay away from i.e. trying to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1994_London_Israeli_Embassy_bombing | Comrade Corbyn used to be some [[useless|backbench]] pinko that had been an MP since the 80's that often campaigned for things that smart politicians who thought about how it would affect them in the future would stay away from i.e. trying to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1994_London_Israeli_Embassy_bombing overturn the convictions of some terrorists] who bombed the Israeli embassy, who had been [[fail|found possessing bombs and guns but had tried to say that they weren't going to use them in Britain.]] He was also a strong advocate against the Iraq War during the Blairite era of the party, which would end up making him the only one in the leadership election to not be a globalist neocon shill. | ||
Jeremy Corbyn's particular style of leadership is to do nothing at all, especially during [[Brexit|life-changing referendums]], and hope that the socialists of Britain will vote for him regardless. | Jeremy Corbyn's particular style of leadership is to do nothing at all, especially during [[Brexit|life-changing referendums]], and hope that the socialists of Britain will vote for him regardless. | ||
Revision as of 06:20, 18 November 2016
Jeremy Corbyn is a Communist that somehow against all odds became leader of the Labour Party and promptly fucked it up.
Comrade Corbyn used to be some backbench pinko that had been an MP since the 80's that often campaigned for things that smart politicians who thought about how it would affect them in the future would stay away from i.e. trying to overturn the convictions of some terrorists who bombed the Israeli embassy, who had been found possessing bombs and guns but had tried to say that they weren't going to use them in Britain. He was also a strong advocate against the Iraq War during the Blairite era of the party, which would end up making him the only one in the leadership election to not be a globalist neocon shill.
Jeremy Corbyn's particular style of leadership is to do nothing at all, especially during life-changing referendums, and hope that the socialists of Britain will vote for him regardless.
Corbyn has often been compared to Bernie Sanders, which is an apt comparison given that Corbyn's chances of becoming Prime Minister one day is the same as Sanders' chances of becoming President. Since obtaining leadership of the Labour Party, Corbyn has been thoroughly committed to leading his party into the dustbin of history.
Leadership
Like the retards they are, the Labour Party decided to add Jeremy Corbyn into the leadership contest in 2015, as they believed that someone who actually understood how politics works would win instead and just wanted to add him in for the traditional leftist reason; "representation". Corbyn was elected to the leadership by SJW students who think they're wiser and more enlightened than all those who have come before them (minus Corbyn, of course), the unions, and other Leftist buffoons who don't yet realize that the winds of change are blowing in the other direction. Of course seeing as they had never been in a political party before, they took advantage of a new option which allowed them to vote for only £3.
When Corbyn miraculously became leader of the Labour Party, many people in Britain believed that he might be the one to save politics as he wasn't some privately educated yuppie from Cambridge. Instead what they got was the mumbling old socialist who shuffled around in ill-fitting suits and defending Sinn Fein.
However during his time in leadership, the only thing he did that was of anyone's interest was give David Cameron a load of questions to answer on his first day, and then got forgotten about and going on late night talkshows nobody watches.
Brexit
While many politicians wisely chose a side, Commissar Corbyn did fuck all while pretending to be on the Remain side, and then expected to still be in leadership later on. While he semi-secretly supports Leave, he didn't actually do anything at all to promote this, and just let Nigel Farage take all the glory. This is because communists see the EU as a globalist cabal of evil capitalists dominating over the proletariat via free trade.
Even afterwards when Britain left the EU, he still refused to do anything at all in response, and thinking that this would just blow over and that he wouldn't need to grow a spine and pick a side he should've supported.
Diane Abbott
Like all middle-class socialists, Corbyn had grown up without having contact with anyone who wasn't exactly like himself. So, to prove a point, he started fucking Diane Abbott, a fellow MP who turns out was just the right type of black he needed to feel politically well-rounded. His appetite for nubian ladies developed during a stint in Jamaica after university, where he spent 3 months trying to show black people how to be poor properly. He clearly maintained this hunger as Abbott featured in his Shadow Cabinet once he was made Labour leader in 2015.
Fall from leadership
Somehow, he still believes that he can become Prime Minister despite the fact he has done little to nothing during the 9 months he's been leader. Almost all of the Labour Party have wanted him to go from the start, it getting so bad that a humiliated lame duck David Cameron telling him to leave. His biggest mistake besides doing fuck all during Brexit was firing the most important man from his Shadow Cabinet, which made everyone else in the cabinet leave in retaliation, which sent his leadership confidence into chaos.
Fall into obscurity
Probably not long after Brexit, Corbyn will likely be kicked out of leadership and will again fall into obscurity.
See also
External Links
jeremycorbyn - His official Twitter.- That time that Jeremy Corbyn was so angered by the deaths of some pigeons that he ACTUALLY VOTED for the human race to be wiped out by an asteroid