Computer science

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Computer science is a branch of science focusing primarily on pretty much anything that can be done on a computer. It attracts a wide population of neckbeards because everyone thinks just because they play a lot of video games they will be good at programming. The field of Computer Science ranges from using advanced mathematics to precisely determine why your solution is dead wrong even if you knew how to do it, all the way to banging your head against a metaphorical brick wall for an hour because your program won't compile only to discover it was because you added an extra curly bracket.

Requirements

• At least one or more of the follwing: Neckbeard/Fedora/Macbook covered in obscure tech stickers/BMI of 36+
• A Pair of glasses to adjust on your face anytime you say the phrase "Well Actually..."
• A vast and superior knowledge of your favorite language which you will use whenever it is possible, and also when it is not possible
• Complete lack of sex drive, as the three or less females in your major will be not only repulsive, but probably already have a neckbeard boyfriend with a katana
• 4 or more Github accounts because you keep forgetting the password
• A really great idea for a revolutionary new app, it's like an uber for starbucks or something, you'll let the nerds in India figure out to to code it...
• A healthy diet of memes
• Phone to play with in class

Software Development

This is what actual coding is. You will soon discover that it is a tedious, time consuming, head smashing, bureaucratic, black hole of time that is 100% necessary if you don't want to ship a steaming pot of spaghetti code. Fortunately, other people have pinpointed exactly how much this sucks so the whole process is pretty streamlined. The following is an example life cycle to develop an app that lets someone take a picture of their own dump and upload it to a feed where other people can view and give feedback on other peoples turds

• Initialization Mark Zuckerberg approaches our company and remarks how much he loves taking pictures of his own feces and looking at other peoples poops, and he would like to be able to view and comment on other peoples shits.
• System Concept Development After a heated discussion about the ethical and social consequences of such an app, the developers agree that it will be an iPhone exclusive app with account setup, profiles, liking, and even a livestream feature that allows for viewing dumps in realtime. Mark Zuckerberg agrees to this and leaps out of our second story window.

See Also

• Computer Science III
• Neowin
• Slashdot
• Unix beard
• Nef Quintero

Computer science is part of a series on Aspies.

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Computer science is part of a series on Softwarez Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.