Vietnam

Warning! Nobody has given a fuck about this country since before the Internet!

Send one into a battered woman's shelter once a year and always have a virgin for Christmas!

Vietnam is a swampy commie land known for beating the U.S. at war, located in South-East Asia. Their government today is basically a classic Communist state. So, like Jews, they control everything from what you say to their country's media.

After the Vietnam War, many gooks (the nickname for the Vietnamese people given by the U.S. soldiers; unaware that the nickname came from the Korean War) migrated to the U.S.A. with the Happy soldiers, some escaping later. The basic reason for escape Vietnam was fear of being executed by the Communists that are about to take over, so it was out of Liberalphobia. Due to this phobia, these gooks were unaware that the USA had more Liberals then South-East Asia and Anthony Quinn's vagina combined. But many of these gooks made it OK in U.S.A. Working in beauty salons, as math teachers, even some of the migrant's daughters can be seen getting banged by big black cocks on the internet.

People

Vietnam is populated by gooks and commies. People from Vietnam are most commonly referred to as Vietnamese, but the proper, more scientific term for someone from Vietnam is a 'Vietnam fucking shit'.

As their yellow skin would suggest, they are a cowardly bunch and can be easily scared away by an assertive white man simply by shouting, "Outta my way!" at them. Caution is advised, however, because despite their skittishness, the Vietnamese are a dashed cunning lot and though they might be weak as water in a stand up fight, excel in gorilla warfare. Their extremely yellow skin, however, does not mean that they have a liver problem as severe as it seems at first glance.

All Vietnamese people are prostitutes, and for five dorrah, they will love you long time. Due to this, they are often mixed up with Thailand. The difference between the two is that everyone in Thailand is a trap, whereas the Vietnamese are very good at making actual traps - you know, with spikes and shit.

All Vietnamese people are named either Charlie or Steven Nguyen (Irrelevant to Tila Tequila) due to some king from At least 100 years ago who forced them to change their last name to Nguyen or they would be permabanned IRL .

History

Vietnam was once ruled by a horde of midgets. After a massive war fought between the vertically challenged ruling class and an army of mice, the Vietnamese people asserted their independence from their rulers and started their own country.

Unfortunately, the Vietnamese people aren't capable of fighting people over their own height, so they were consequently ruled by China, France, and Japan but for some reason, they're capable of sending them back to their hug boxes.

In the war with The French and The U.S, Vietnam begging China and Russia for Jew golds and weapons.

Sometime last Thursday, the Communists took over. The United States then arrived to try and fix the problem, but John Kerry had to go and fuck it up.

Culture and Cuisine

Vietnam has no culture. T3h commies eliminated all traces of it long ago, with the assistance of their good friend and environmental activist Pol Pot, who was well known for his love of hiking and the outdoors.

During the aforementioned Vietnam Police Action, the entire country had its foliage shaved bald by Agent Orange, a potent variant of Kool Aid developed by an elite team of L.A. Crips under the employ of the U.S. Military. Thus, many thousands of immigrants got the bright idea to move to UNITINU and open up soup shops marketed towards hipsters and other displaced azns. Known as Phở (Commonly mispronounced: rhymes with "Jameth"), this soup is made primarily by boiling such things as cow's stomach lining and camel spider semen in a toilet bowl. Crackers now regularly slurp down the culinary equivalent of jenkem for nine bucks a bowl, while the Vietnamese go eat for a buck and a half at McDonald's and hoard all the Jew gold they extract from the dumb Americunts for a rainy day. The citizens of Soviet Canuckistan are known to be duped into eating this crap also, since eating nothing but Caribou and bagged milk all day can get old real fast.

Vietnam is also another great place to hire 13 year old boys to gold-farm or make free Adidas for you and your loved ones. In fact, Alex Wuori hired one recently at ten cents an hour to invent moar passwords for him. Fucking luser. Dog, Cat, and aborted human fetus are very popular cuisines in Vietnam, as well as all of Asia.

Today

Liberal types often mispronounce Vietnam as Iraq. This is why liberals are borderline retarded. Thus, they often bring this up in every LiveJournal political discussion about the Iraq War.

In recent years, Vietnam has benefited from a growing and thriving economy. The main impetus behind this, is that Vietnam's economy is fueled by dongs. The Vietnam Dong currently trades at a dollar-to-dong ratio of 1:over 9,000. That's a lot of dong for your dollar. LOL dONGz

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  One-hundred Dong
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  Two-hundred Dong
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  Five-hundred Dong
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  Over 9,000 Dong!

Trolling Vietnamese

Nobody cares about Vietnamese enough to compile a list of stuff that pisses them off... Tell them that.

Gallery

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  Typical Vietnamese architecture.
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  "We're going back to Hanoi to get my power wrist."
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  Savage violation of the Glory Hole
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  War is hell. Seriously.
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  Weegee was shot execution style, but luckily he had 3 lives left.
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  US Air Force squadron prepares to blow up strategic enemy rice paddies, 1968.
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  U.S. Marines were in their base killing their d00dz.
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  Vietnamese cuisine.
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  Don't fuck with a motherfucker's shitty moped!
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  The dude's grandmother over charged him for a blowjob.
• File:AnaverageVietnamesewoman.jpg
• File:AVietnameseStudent.jpg
• File:VietnameseModelinFrance.jpg

See Also

• CMFL
• Dong
• Riboflavin
• Vietnam War
• The Binghamton Tet Offensive
• Outta my way, you Vietnam fucking shits!