Free Speech

Free Speech means you can say whatever you want whenever you want to whomever you want*. Free Speech is thus invoked in flame wars to act like a retard under the guise of protecting "basic civil liberties."

*Warranty void in the United States. Free speech does not apply to making bombs, threatening to pwn the president, posting loli or shota in the state of Virginia, posting 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0, creating keygens, at Rromchan & Animax, or if your name is Mike Diana. Free Speech Sweepstakes expires January 1, 2008, many will enter, few will win.

History

At least 100 years ago people did not have free speech and were only allowed to speak in 5-word sentences. Then they found out how much fun it was to yell 'Fire!' in a crowded room and watch everyone stampede over each other to get out. Death and lulz ensued and free speech was born.

Proper time and Place

There is a proper time and place for Freedom of Speech. The proper time and place is all the time and any place(not including china). for example God hates muslims, Tom Cruise is homosexual, and Obama is a nigger.

The whole point of free speech is that people should be allowed to say whatever they like about the government - its laws, its institutions, and the actions of its officials. In a lulzworthy turn of events, the right to free speech is now taken to mean that you can sell pictures of nude wimminz, but political free speec is in many cases banned (see contempt of court).

Free Speech and the US

Unfortunately, in the US free speech is distributed equally and whenever anyone is butthurt by someone else, they will not stop talking about it. According to the US Constitution, free speech does not exist anywhere else in the world.

Free speech is protected in the Bill of Rights, but is ignored like the rest of it. For example, the first right is:

	“	Congress shall make no law.	„
	—Buddha

and yet they make laws every day. Socialists argue that "free speech in the sense used in bourgeois capitalist 'democracies' means the right to undermine social justice and erode the social solidarity of the working class." But they're socialists, so what the fuck do they know about free speech?

Some penalties for improper use of free speech in America include:

• Death by Stoning
• Prison
• Rapid Aging
• Loss of appetite

A popular place for free speech is inside the head of someone else.

Freedom of the press

The "freedom of the press" originally referred to the right of each person to own and run a printing press, or more generally: the right to publish their political views and opinions. These days, we use the intertubes for this, rather than printed pamphlets. No matter what damn fool ideas you have: whether you're a 9/11 conspiracy nut, member of the KKK, or Zionist, you have a basic right to get the word out there.

These days, "freedom of the press" means that there is an organization, named "The Press", owned by a small number of obscenely wealthy people, and that those wealthy people (sorry!) "the press" should be "free". If you are not part of "The Press", then this freedom simply doesn't apply to you anymore.

Free Speech and the Internets

Like all other freedoms, free speech ceases to exist once you are on the internet. Unlike real life, which could be likened to a truck that things just get dumped on, the internet is actually a series of tubes, each of which has an owner who wields total power over everything passing through said tube. The internet could thus be considered a collection of despotic nation-states, each ruled by its own tyrant. Knowing this, it is clear that freedoms as we know them do not exist on the internet, and yet most people believe just the opposite. Some dictators even encourage this misconception by making their empires seem free, in order to lure their subjects into a false sense of security. In any case, much lulz ensue when misguided netizens finally come crashing up against reality. Many victims of this misunderstanding have in fact become so misguided that they proceed to directly dispute the actions of the local dictator, whom they contend is infringing on their right to free speech. The cycle inevitably repeats until one party gives up.

Groups which Enjoy Free Speech

• Christfags
• Jew
• black person
• Muslims
• Women
• Gays
• Basically anyone who isn't a straight, white male

Groups with Limited Free Speech

Mimes have never had free speech because they are communists.

• Atheists
• Australians
• Talk Radio
• Economists
• The Dead
• Babies
• Nazis
• Whites
• Anyone who refuses to believe in global warming and pray to Al Gore for salvation.
• Deaf mutes
• Americans

Groups with No Free Speech Whatsoever

• AnonTalk

	Free Speech is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Retreat!Do It Faggot]
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