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Afghanistan: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 04:09, 11 April 2013
ALL FUCKING PEDOPHILES |
The Occupied Islamic State of Afghanistan, also known as "Jihadistan", has been home to drugs, conflicts, dirty terrorists, much Muslim drama, devoid morality, and a fat-ass US invasion force.
History
Despite being named Afghanistan, Afghanistan is the home of the Pashtuns also known as barbarian nazis 卐. Afghanistan was created by the ejaculation of Bill Nye as he whacked off to the remembrance of the time he nailed Soledad O'Brien. Throughout most of Afghanistan's history, it's been called "that piece of shit between Persia and India." When European Imperialism hit Central Asia (the Great Game), none of that mattered because the whole place became England's bitch. However, Afghanistan is the only country that has pwned every invader except the U.S./Canada but the only reason why they didn't is because they used them to kick out Osama bin Laden and friends No. After that, they plan on turning back into what they were before; a narco-terrorist shithole who's only contribution to the world is decent heroin and lousy taxi drivers. A country that, if it weren't for everyone carrying an AK-47, would look very much like it did in the 12th century.
Afghanistan is also home of the true and real Aryans, not the trailer trash white people you see in North America or the skinhead wannabe's in Europe. Afghanistan was also known as Aryana, a state of Persia before they separated due to religion and Arabs raping them in the ass. The true Aryans are the pashtuns and tajiks, but the Mongolian left overs called "Hazaras" are chinks. Recently they have been enjoying freedom from their former Pashtun masters who enslaved them.
In recent history, Osama Bin Laden fell in love with the country and took it over with his Taliban. In August 2001 the Afghan Army was planning to attack the US with its mujaheddin, but it failed hard. One month later they blew up the World Trade Center (everyone knows Jews did WTC, not sandniggers). Butthurt, the U.S. declared war on Afghanistan. After years of looking for Bin Laden the Americans got tired but remained "devoted" to the cause by leaving the Canadian army in charge. The Canadians have since then installed peace and order and rule over the country from their dark and untakeable fortress in Kandahar Airbase, where they enjoy playing cards, torturing prisoners and playing hockey.
Since there are no telephones or internets in Afghanistan most people rely on smoke signals for communications. Families that are rich enough have a donkey or flying carpet to visit family across the country. But since one place in this shitty country is as bad as any other, not much travel takes place.
Let's recap:
- Nothing happens
- Nothing happens
- Nothing happens
- British come
- ONE British leaves (Seriously!) (+16,500 killed
or wounded[1]) - British come
- British leave (+1,630 killed or wounded [2])
- British come
- British leave (+1,751 killed or wounded [3])
- Afghanistan is a monarchy
- Afghanistan goes atheist/communist
- Pashtuns get butthurt
- Mujaheddin forms with US help to fight communism
- Soviets come
- Soviets leave (+67,000 killed or wounded [4])
- Mujaheddin become Taliban to fight Western influence
- Taliban start leading country according to Islamic law
- Americans come in, kill current leaders and appoint a puppet president
- But in order to make the puppet legal, they stage an election and he wins with 55%.
- Next election noone who voted before shows up, quarter of all votes get discarded, millions of votes get added, ballot box intimidation... and the puppet wins with 90%
- But in order to make it seem more legitimate, there is a reelection... in which the opponent is forced to back out
- US loses massive amounts of money by first funding the terrorists and then fighting them
- ????
- Profit! (for the jews)
Where is the fucking profit?
Demographics
Afghanistan contains about 15 million people with beards and diapers on their heads, and a few confused lost wiggers. The women all have to wear oversized binbags, although whether this is due to the vaginaphobic attitude of the populace or the general fugliness of the women is debated. According to Godwin's Law, Afghanistan is the origin of the Aryan race, as proved by this one little white girl from Afghanistan. Historically, the Aryans invaded early civilization on the Indus Valley and asspwned the dark skinned yet ironically more intelligent inhabitants, giving them the Vedas and the Indo-European influenced language. If you are wondering why, if those dark skinned people were so intelligent, they got utterly pwned; shut up you racist.
Geography
The terrain of the country is highly unknown as the Arab turn into werewolves at night and raep outsiders in the ass.
A rape survivor described Afghani terrain as:
- Dirt
- Caves
- Dirt
- More dirt
- Your Mom
- Rape
- Opium fields
- Blown up apc's
- Caves
- Dead Talibans
- Dead Talibans in caves
- Burned out Humvees
- Over 9,000 at least 100 years old Soviet tanks
- Caves
- Landmines
- Caves
- Even moar Dirt
Leaders
The only known leader of Afghanistan that was known until now was Osama Bin Laden, who is most known for being a ruthless terrorist and lulz exporter. In 2001 he was unfortunately killed in the attack of the Jews as he tried to save his fellow humans from 9/11. When his death was confirmed, the country bowed down to the Canadian lead invader forces. Since then, the provisional dark emperor claimed the country in the name of the Canada.
Afghans? in my internets?
It's more likely than you think. Just look at the following websites taken over by the Afghans. They all redirect to some low budget Persian Afghani music videos. It may be many different videos, or all the same one. We really can't tell. Behold the fearmsome soldiers of the taliban.
- http://www.futabachannel.com
- http://www.futabachannel.net
- http://www.futabachannel.org
- http://www.tokyohood.com
- http://www.sexymuch.com
- http://www.vandalize.us
- http://www.killthisfaggot.com
- http://www.newfag.net
- http://www.newfag.org
- http://www.iccfunds.com
- http://www.nexwiki.com
- http://www.nexwiki.org
- http://www.dollarmuch.com
Add more if you see any. We don't know whats going on but it is pretty scary.
Famous Afghan exports
- The Afghan Hound
- The Afghan Coat
- Afghan Carpets
- The Afghan Afghani, the official currency of Afghanistan
- The Afghan Snowball [5]
- Afghan Goo
- Afghan Kalashnikovs
- Afghan Pipeline
- Afghan Tea-bag
- Afghani Sauna
- Afghanistan Skunk
- Afghanistan Haze
- Afghanistan Slurpee
- Afghanistanimation [6]
- The AK-47
- Dead American troops
- Opium
- Dead Hajjis
See Also
- Asia
- China
- Iran
- Islam
- Pakistan
- Tajikistan
- Mujahideen Video
- Turkmenistan
- Uzbekistan
- Holland, their government fell because of Afghanistan debates.
- Kyrgyzstan