Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

National Security Agency: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older edit
imported>Lolyunohavgudsoftware
No edit summary
imported>CrackRabbit
 
(24 intermediate revisions by 8 users not shown)
Line 8: Line 8:


==History==
==History==
No one gives a shit about the NSA's history, except paranoiacs and [[Anal Prolapse|muffdivers]]. It's at least as insane as the [[CIA]]'s history, and a lot gayer.
No one gives a shit about the NSA's history, except [[Lyndon LaRouche|paranoiacs]] and [[Anal Prolapse|muffdivers]]. It's at least as insane as the [[CIA]]'s history. And a lot gayer.
[[File:Nsacocks.jpg|thumb|right|They suck the giant black cocks in Fort Meade!]][[File:Fort meade mailing address where NSA HQ located.JPG|thumb|right|You can't send mail directly to them but they have a spesshul mail address for gay fisting videos. Send them something so they don't feel lonely.]]
[[File:Nsacocks.jpg|thumb|right|They suck the giant black cocks in Fort Meade!]][[File:Fort meade mailing address where NSA HQ located.JPG|thumb|right|You can't send mail directly to them but they have a spesshul mail address for gay fisting videos. Send them something so they don't feel lonely.]]
{{quote|The NSA headquarters was built at a cost of $30,000,000 and was opened in 1957. It contains a complete hospital, with operating rooms and dental offices. It also houses eight snack bars, a cafeteria, an auditorium and a bank. All of the building's windows are sealed and none can be opened.
{{quote|The NSA headquarters was built at a cost of $30,000,000 and was opened in 1957. It contains a complete hospital, with operating rooms and dental offices. It also houses eight snack bars, a cafeteria, an auditorium and a bank. All of the building's windows are sealed and none can be opened.


Comparable [[Anal Prolapse|precautions]] have been taken with NSA employees. They are subject to lie-detector tests on application and intensive security indoctrination on acceptance. Periodically, the indoctrination briefing is repeated and employees are required to sign statements that they have reread pertinent secrecy regulations. Even so, the NSA has had more than its share of trouble with [[Anal Prolapse|security violations]]. In 1960 two young mathematicians, William H. Martin and Bernon F. Mitchell, defected to Russia. They held a news conference in Moscow, describing in detail the inner workings of the NSA. They were soon discovered to be [[homosexuals]], a fact which led indirectly to the resignation of the NSA's personnel director, and the firing of twenty-six other employees for [[CP|sexual deviation]].|--yes it's full of [[faggots]]}}
Comparable [[Anal Prolapse|precautions]] have been taken with NSA employees. They are subject to lie-detector tests on application and intensive security indoctrination on acceptance. Periodically, the indoctrination briefing is repeated and employees are required to sign statements that they have reread pertinent secrecy regulations. Even so, the NSA has had more than its share of trouble with [[Anal Prolapse|security violations]]. In 1960 two young mathematicians, William H. Martin and Bernon F. Mitchell, defected to Russia. They held a news conference in Moscow, describing in detail the inner workings of the NSA. They were soon discovered to be [[homosexuals]], a fact which led indirectly to the resignation of the NSA's personnel director, and the firing of twenty-six other employees for [[CP|sexual deviation]].|--yes it's full of [[homos]], and they [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_and_Mitchell_defection even lied about Martin and Mitchell]}}


They have all kinds of "supporters", every one of them [[Hillary Clinton|bitches]] and [[Barack Obama|hoes]].
The Agency has all kinds of "supporters", every one of them [[Hillary Clinton|bitches]] and [[Barack Obama|hoes]]. Even the [[Donald Trump|Magic Tangerine]] likes the NSA because they give the [[Vagina|president]] and his "closest advisors" all kinds of nasty and ruinous information. Usually collected [[Lulz|illegally]]. So they're like a giant playground tattle-tale. "Teacher! Teacher! Tommy pooped on your chair!"


==What they do==
==What they do==
Line 22: Line 22:
Every time the [[Cocksucker|IT industry]] tries to devise a new encryption standard, the NSA shitweasels its way in and inserts backdoors so they can [[MOAR|read everything]]. Then the IT pussymunchers say "no, we aren't going to use that shit" and the NSA goes [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Data_Encryption_Standard all waah-fag].
Every time the [[Cocksucker|IT industry]] tries to devise a new encryption standard, the NSA shitweasels its way in and inserts backdoors so they can [[MOAR|read everything]]. Then the IT pussymunchers say "no, we aren't going to use that shit" and the NSA goes [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Data_Encryption_Standard all waah-fag].


They laugh at your "privacy". Mockery occurs. And when caught, they lie and lie some more. Even the [[Clusterfuck|Congresscritters]] who are supposed to "oversee" this turd party aren't doing their jobs.
They laugh at your "privacy". Mockery occurs. And when caught, they lie and lie some more. Even the [[Clusterfuck|Congresscritters]] who are supposed to "oversee" this turd party aren't doing their jobs. Ask [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Binney_(U.S._intelligence_official) William Binney] or [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_A._Drake Thomas Drake] about what [[Bullshit|friendly and honest]] people they are.


{{quote|The documents, provided earlier this summer to The Washington Post by former NSA contractor [[Edward Snowden]], include a level of detail and analysis that is not routinely shared with Congress or the special court that oversees surveillance. In one of the documents, agency personnel are [[Cock Block|instructed to remove details]] and substitute more generic language in reports to the Justice Department and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence.
{{quote|The documents, provided earlier this summer to The Washington Post by former NSA contractor [[Edward Snowden]], include a level of detail and analysis that is not routinely shared with Congress or the special court that oversees surveillance. In one of the documents, agency personnel are [[Cock Block|instructed to remove details]] and substitute more generic language in reports to the Justice Department and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence.


In one instance, the NSA decided that it need not report the unintended surveillance of Americans. A notable example in 2008 was the interception of a “large number” of calls placed from Washington when a programming error confused the U.S. area code 202 for 20, the international dialing code for Egypt, according to a “quality assurance” review that was not distributed to the NSA’s oversight staff. |-[https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nsa-broke-privacy-rules-thousands-of-times-per-year-audit-finds/2013/08/15/3310e554-05ca-11e3-a07f-49ddc7417125_story.html FUCK YOU AMERIKA]}}
In one instance, the NSA decided that it need not report the unintended surveillance of Americans. A notable example in 2008 was the interception of a “large number” of calls placed from Washington when a programming error confused the U.S. area code 202 for 20, the international dialing code for Egypt, according to a “quality assurance” review that was not distributed to the NSA’s oversight staff. |-[https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nsa-broke-privacy-rules-thousands-of-times-per-year-audit-finds/2013/08/15/3310e554-05ca-11e3-a07f-49ddc7417125_story.html FUCK YOU AMERIKA HA HA HA]}}
 
{{quote|Ex-NSA employees have also told the Wall Street Journal that they believe the code published by the Shadow Brokers to be “authentic.” These scraps of information raise the question of why the NSA had for years been sitting on vulnerabilities that affect widely used networking gear. They also suggest that the agency may have gone against White House policy on when it is reasonable to keep flaws secret.
 
The Cisco bugs were zero-day vulnerabilities, so called because they give the author of a piece of software zero days to identify and distribute a solution. Zero-days are valuable to criminals and spies because they can be used to break into systems undetected.
 
Organizations in the business of hacking, like the NSA, can secretly stockpile vulnerabilities to keep their operations stealthy. Critics of the NSA have accused it of weakening Internet security by hoarding zero-days and preventing companies from fixing their products.|--[http://www.technologyreview.com/s/602201/security-experts-agree-the-nsa-was-hacked LOL THEY GOT HACKED LOLOL]}}
[[Image:Nsautahgarbage.jpg|left]]
{{quote|"When he was running the Army's Intelligence and Security Command, Alexander brought many of his future allies down to Fort Belvoir for a tour of his base of operations, a facility known as the Information Dominance Center. It had been designed by a Hollywood set designer to mimic the bridge of the starship Enterprise from Star Trek, complete with chrome panels, computer stations, a huge TV monitor on the forward wall, and doors that made a 'whoosh' sound when they slid open and closed. Lawmakers and other important officials took turns sitting in a leather 'captain's chair' in the center of the room and watched as Alexander, a lover of science-fiction movies, showed off his data tools on the big screen. (LOL)
 
    "'Everybody wanted to sit in the chair at least once to pretend he was Jean-Luc Picard,' says a retired officer in charge of VIP visits."
|[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/15/nsa-mind-keith-alexander-star-trek SHOW US YOUR TOOL, KEITH!!]}}
 
{{quote|"The brain drain has been so pronounced that at one gathering in 2016 of the agency’s elite hacking division, one individual raised the concern with Rogers directly. According to several people familiar with the exchange, Rogers disputed that there was any increase in attrition and told his employees that they should stop complaining and get back to work."|[http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/the-nsas-top-talent-is-leaving-because-of-low-pay-and-battered-morale/2018/01/02/ff19f0c6-ec04-11e7-9f92-10a2203f6c8d_story.html OOPS!]}}
 
The fucks even [https://www.vice.com/en/article/k78x5x/internal-documents-reveal-nsa-cafeteria-sucks complain about the cafeteria]. So much for "fighting for freedom and the Amurrican Way".


==Snowden is teh ghey==
==Snowden is teh ghey==
[[File:Wienerandballsman.jpg|thumb|NSA directors are required to dress like this]]
[[File:Wienerandballsman.jpg|thumb|NSA directors are required to dress like this]]
{{quote|They really hate [[Edward Snowden|Snowden]]. The NSA is clearly, madly, deeply furious at the man whose actions triggered the biggest crisis in its history. Even while contending they welcome the debate that now engages the nation, they say that they hate the way it was triggered. The NSA has an admittedly insular culture — the officials described it as almost like a family.... NSA officials are infuriated that all this havoc was caused by some random contractor. They suggest that had Snowden been familiar with the culture and the ethos of the agency, understood the level of training undergone by its employees, seen the level of regulations and oversight, he would have been less likely to abscond with all those documents. (Snowden’s interviews indicate otherwise.) Still, they are stunned that someone “inside the fence” would do what Snowden did. Even if Snowden is eventually pardoned, he’d do well to steer clear of Fort Meade. |--[http://www.wired.com/2014/01/nsa-surveillance/ Steven Levy]}}
{{quote|They really hate [[Edward Snowden|Snowden]]. The NSA is clearly, madly, deeply furious at the man whose actions triggered the biggest crisis in its history. Even while contending they welcome the debate that now engages the nation, they say that they hate the way it was triggered. The NSA has an admittedly insular culture — the officials described it as almost like a family.... NSA officials are infuriated that all this havoc was caused by some random contractor. They suggest that had Snowden been familiar with the culture and the ethos of the agency, understood the level of training undergone by its employees, seen the level of regulations and oversight, he would have been less likely to abscond with all those documents. (Snowden’s interviews indicate otherwise.) Still, they are stunned that someone “inside the fence” would do what Snowden did. Even if Snowden is eventually pardoned, he’d do well to steer clear of Fort Meade. |--[http://www.wired.com/2014/01/nsa-surveillance/ Steven Levy]}}
{{quote|“In a world where I would not be restricted from killing an American, I personally would go and kill him myself.”
“I would love to put a bullet in his head.”
“Most everyone I talk to says he needs to be tried and hung, forget the trial and just hang him.”
When it comes to Snowden, it seems that—much like domestic surveillance—NSA workers don't like to do things halfway. One Army intelligence officer provided this gem:
“I think if we had the chance, we would end it very quickly,” he said. “Just casually walking on the streets of Moscow, coming back from buying his groceries. Going back to his flat and he is casually poked by a passerby. He thinks nothing of it at the time starts to feel a little woozy and thinks it’s a parasite from the local water. He goes home very innocently and next thing you know he dies in the shower.”|[https://www.yahoo.com/news/national-security-employees-sure-hate-edward-snowden-070700805.html?ref=gs Gotta kill 'em all]}}
==How to get on an NSA Watchlist==
Google the following:
*JOIN ISIS
*How to join ISIS
*Death to america
*America your time will come
*Hurricane Katrina Relief Funds
*How to build a bomb
*Fertilizer materials for creating ANFO bomb
*ANFO supplies
*Download [[The Anarchist Cookbook]]
*[[Timothy McVeigh]]
*9/11 Truth
*Logic for 1st graders
*How to think critically and independently
*ZOG
*Zionist Occupation Government
*HAARP
*CIA Spying on Civilians
*[[School Shooting|Shoot up a school]], how to shoot up my school, columbine copycat
*[[Hillary Clinton]] dying
*[[Mass Shooting]] guide
*Assassinate the President
*History of the jewish race, weev is ghey
*Suck Keith Alexander's cock
===Keywords===
Waihopai, INFOSEC, Information Security, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Priavacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, Reno, Compsec, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, ISS, Passwords, DefCon V, Hackers, Encryption, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, PEM, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, COSMOS, DATTA, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, Active X, Compsec 97, LLC, DERA, Mavricks, Meta-hackers, ^?, Steve Case, Tools, Telex, Military Intelligence, Scully, Flame, Infowar, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, ISACA, NCSA, spook words, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, LABLINK, USACIL, USCG, NRC, ~, CDC, DOE, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, DREO, CDA, DRA, SHAPE, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI, SAS, SBS, UDT, GOE, DOE, GEO, Masuda, Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, CQB, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU, SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2, MD4, MDA, MYK, 747,777, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, Duress, RAID, Psyops, grom, D-11, SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, MP5k, DREC, DEVGRP, DF, DSD, FDM, GRU, LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, PSAC, PTT, RFI, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO, SUSLO, TELINT, TEXTA. ELF, LF, MF, VHF, UHF, SHF, SASP, WANK, Colonel, domestic disruption, smuggle, 15kg, nitrate, Pretoria, M-14, enigma, Bletchley Park, Clandestine, nkvd, argus, afsatcom, CQB, NVD, Counter Terrorism Security, Rapid Reaction, Corporate Security, Police, sniper, PPS, ASIS, ASLET, TSCM, Security Consulting, High Security, Security Evaluation, Electronic Surveillance, MI-17, Counterterrorism, spies, eavesdropping, debugging, interception, COCOT, rhost, rhosts, SETA, Amherst, Broadside, Capricorn, Gamma, Gorizont, Guppy, Ionosphere, Mole, Keyhole, Kilderkin, Artichoke, Badger, Cornflower, Daisy, Egret, Iris, Hollyhock, Jasmine, Juile, Vinnell, B.D.M.,Sphinx, Stephanie, Reflection, Spoke, Talent, Trump, FX, FXR, IMF, POCSAG, Covert Video, Intiso, r00t, lock picking, Beyond Hope, csystems, passwd, 2600 Magazine, Competitor, EO, Chan, Alouette,executive, Event Security, Mace, Cap-Stun, stakeout, ninja, ASIS, ISA, EOD, Oscor, Merlin, NTT, SL-1, Rolm, TIE, Tie-fighter, PBX, SLI, NTT, MSCJ, MIT, 69, RIT, Time, MSEE, Cable & Wireless, CSE, Embassy, ETA, Porno, Fax, finks, Fax encryption, white noise, pink noise, CRA, M.P.R.I., top secret, Mossberg, 50BMG, Macintosh Security, Macintosh Internet Security, Macintosh Firewalls, Unix Security, VIP Protection, SIG, sweep, Medco, TRD, TDR, sweeping, TELINT, Audiotel, Harvard, 1080H, SWS, Asset, Satellite imagery, force, Cypherpunks, Coderpunks, TRW, remailers, replay, redheads, RX-7, explicit, FLAME, Pornstars, AVN, Playboy, Anonymous, Sex, chaining, codes, Nuclear, 20, subversives, SLIP, toad, fish, data havens, unix, c, a, b, d, the, Elvis, quiche, DES, 1*, NATIA, NATOA, sneakers, counterintelligence, industrial espionage, PI, TSCI, industrial intelligence, H.N.P., Juiliett Class Submarine, Locks, loch, Ingram Mac-10, sigvoice, ssa, E.O.D., SEMTEX, penrep, racal, OTP, OSS, Blowpipe, CCS, GSA, Kilo Class, squib, primacord, RSP, Becker, Nerd, fangs, Austin, Comirex, GPMG, Speakeasy, humint, GEODSS, SORO, M5, ANC, zone, SBI, DSS, S.A.I.C., Minox, Keyhole, SAR, Rand Corporation, Wackenhutt, EO, Wackendude, mol, Hillal, GGL, CTU, botux, Virii, CCC, Blacklisted 411, Internet Underground, XS4ALL, Retinal Fetish, Fetish, Yobie, CTP, CATO, Phon-e, Chicago Posse, l0ck, spook keywords, PLA, TDYC, W3, CUD, CdC, Weekly World News, Zen, World Domination, Dead, GRU, M72750, Salsa, 7, Blowfish, Gorelick, Glock, Ft. Meade, press-release, Indigo, wire transfer, e-cash, Bubba the Love Sponge, Digicash, zip, SWAT, Ortega, PPP, crypto-anarchy, AT&T, SGI, SUN, MCI, Blacknet, Middleman, KLM, Blackbird, plutonium, Texas, jihad, SDI, Uzi, Fort Meade, supercomputer, bullion, 3, Blackmednet, Propaganda, ABC, Satellite phones, Planet-1, cryptanalysis, nuclear, FBI, Panama, fissionable, Sears Tower, NORAD, Delta Force, SEAL, virtual, Dolch, secure shell, screws, Black-Ops, Area51, SABC, basement, data-haven, black-bag, TEMPSET, Goodwin, rebels, ID, MD5, IDEA, garbage, market, beef, Stego, unclassified, utopia, orthodox, Alica, SHA, Global, gorilla, Bob, Pseudonyms, MITM, Gray Data, VLSI, mega, Leitrim, Yakima, Sugar Grove, Cowboy, Gist, 8182, Gatt, Platform, 1911, Geraldton, UKUSA, veggie, 3848, Morwenstow, Consul, Oratory, Pine Gap, Menwith, Mantis, DSD, BVD, 1984, Flintlock, cybercash, government, hate, speedbump, illuminati, president, freedom, cocaine, $, Roswell, ESN, COS, E.T., credit card, b9, fraud, assasinate, virus, anarchy, rogue, mailbomb, 888, Chelsea, 1997, Whitewater, MOD, York, plutonium, William Gates, clone, BATF, SGDN, Nike, Atlas, Delta, TWA, Kiwi, PGP 2.6.2., PGP 5.0i, PGP 5.1, siliconpimp, Lynch, 414, Face, Pixar, IRIDF, eternity server, Skytel, Yukon, Templeton, LUK, Cohiba, Soros, Standford, niche, 51, H&K, USP, ^, sardine, bank, EUB, USP, PCS, NRO, Red Cell, Glock 26, snuffle, Patel, package, ISI, INR, INS, IRS, GRU, RUOP, GSS, NSP, SRI, Ronco, Armani, BOSS, Chobetsu, FBIS, BND, SISDE, FSB, BfV, IB, froglegs, JITEM, SADF, advise, TUSA, HoHoCon, SISMI, FIS, MSW, Spyderco, UOP, SSCI, NIMA, MOIS, SVR, SIN, advisors, SAP, OAU, PFS, Aladdin, chameleon man, Hutsul, CESID, Bess, rail gun, Peering, 17, 312, NB, CBM, CTP, Sardine, SBIRS, SGDN, ADIU, DEADBEEF, IDP, IDF, Halibut, SONANGOL, Flu, &, Loin, PGP 5.53, EG&G, AIEWS, AMW, WORM, MP5K-SD, 1071, WINGS, cdi, DynCorp, UXO, Ti, THAAD, package, chosen, PRIME, SURVIAC, homoerotic Mike Rogers


==Videos==
==Videos==


<center>{{fv|NSA crap|background-color: white;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
<center>{{fv|NSA crap|background-color: white;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>qh5_pJJPqQ8</youtube>
;whine whine
|<youtube>k1TiSYsqPbQ</youtube>
|<youtube>k1TiSYsqPbQ</youtube>
;bitch bitch
;bitch bitch
Line 42: Line 97:
;moan moan
;moan moan
}}</center>
}}</center>
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:MEANWHILE.JPG
File:Blimpovernsa.jpg
File:Shovelnsashit.jpg
File:NSArule34.jpg
File:NSA Spying On 4chan.jpg
File:That girl - I wonder what she's listening to meme - NSA.JPG
</gallery></center>


==See also==
==See also==
*[[Big Data]]
*[[Patriot Act]]
*[[Patriot Act]]
*[[PRISM]]
*[[PRISM]]
Line 52: Line 118:
*[http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20140113/10480525850/nsa-officials-hate-ed-snowden-with-passion.shtml The NSA hates Edward Snowden]
*[http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20140113/10480525850/nsa-officials-hate-ed-snowden-with-passion.shtml The NSA hates Edward Snowden]
*[http://time.com/3437222/iphone-data-encryption/ The NSA hates Apple for encrypting their devices]
*[http://time.com/3437222/iphone-data-encryption/ The NSA hates Apple for encrypting their devices]
*[http://evilzone.org/hacking-and-security/why-i-don't-hate-the-nsa/ This asshole isn't think they so awful yo]
*[http://archive.is/Gps6E This asshole isn't think they so awful yo]
*[http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140213203841AAHSsZY Why do people hate NSA? Because BLAAGGHHH]
*[http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140213203841AAHSsZY Why do people hate NSA? Because BLAAGGHHH]
 
*[https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/officials-respond-to-incident-at-nsa-on-fort-meade-campus/2015/03/30/08bdfe56-d6e1-11e4-ba28-f2a685dc7f89_story.html?utm_term=.7489b871db07 OMG THE TRANNIES ARE ATTACKING]


{{Politics}}
{{Politics}}
{{GNA}}
{{stub}}
{{stub}}


[[Category:Security Faggotry]]
[[Category:Security Faggotry]]

Latest revision as of 11:21, 3 March 2024

Mike Rogers loves his clamhat!

The National Faggot Agency is like a giant tapeworm up the ass of your privacy. Since 1952 this seekkret agency, so seekkret its giant headquarters at Fort Meade wasn't even listed on road maps (until Bamford's book The Puzzle Palace came out in 1982, maps called it the "Bureau Of Public Roads", totally not kidding), has been gnawing on your manjunks and raeping your hot biatches while tapping your phones and watching your internet gay porn habits. Becuz SECURITY. Becuz YOU ARE SECURE NOW CUNTFACE. FEEL SECURE, CITIZEN.

The best part is that after 50+ years of assfucking privacy and shitting on the Constitution, it took only one guy to ruin their cock playtime and golden showers. The butthurt still makes the feels all over Washington.

History

No one gives a shit about the NSA's history, except paranoiacs and muffdivers. It's at least as insane as the CIA's history. And a lot gayer.

They suck the giant black cocks in Fort Meade!
You can't send mail directly to them but they have a spesshul mail address for gay fisting videos. Send them something so they don't feel lonely.
   
“ 		 
The NSA headquarters was built at a cost of $30,000,000 and was opened in 1957. It contains a complete hospital, with operating rooms and dental offices. It also houses eight snack bars, a cafeteria, an auditorium and a bank. All of the building's windows are sealed and none can be opened.

Comparable precautions have been taken with NSA employees. They are subject to lie-detector tests on application and intensive security indoctrination on acceptance. Periodically, the indoctrination briefing is repeated and employees are required to sign statements that they have reread pertinent secrecy regulations. Even so, the NSA has had more than its share of trouble with security violations. In 1960 two young mathematicians, William H. Martin and Bernon F. Mitchell, defected to Russia. They held a news conference in Moscow, describing in detail the inner workings of the NSA. They were soon discovered to be homosexuals, a fact which led indirectly to the resignation of the NSA's personnel director, and the firing of twenty-six other employees for sexual deviation.
 

„
  		 

—--yes it's full of homos, and they even lied about Martin and Mitchell

The Agency has all kinds of "supporters", every one of them bitches and hoes. Even the Magic Tangerine likes the NSA because they give the president and his "closest advisors" all kinds of nasty and ruinous information. Usually collected illegally. So they're like a giant playground tattle-tale. "Teacher! Teacher! Tommy pooped on your chair!"

What they do

They sell rubber pussies to pussies like you. They run more faggy supercomputers than all the universities on earth, to crack encrypted messages (which usually fails because modern encryption is extremely difficult to break). They suck down $60 billion a year of YOUR TAX MONEY and make it simply disappear. FEEL SECURE, CITIZEN. You ungrateful dickslime.

Every time the IT industry tries to devise a new encryption standard, the NSA shitweasels its way in and inserts backdoors so they can read everything. Then the IT pussymunchers say "no, we aren't going to use that shit" and the NSA goes all waah-fag.

They laugh at your "privacy". Mockery occurs. And when caught, they lie and lie some more. Even the Congresscritters who are supposed to "oversee" this turd party aren't doing their jobs. Ask William Binney or Thomas Drake about what friendly and honest people they are.

   
“ 		 
The documents, provided earlier this summer to The Washington Post by former NSA contractor Edward Snowden, include a level of detail and analysis that is not routinely shared with Congress or the special court that oversees surveillance. In one of the documents, agency personnel are instructed to remove details and substitute more generic language in reports to the Justice Department and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence.

In one instance, the NSA decided that it need not report the unintended surveillance of Americans. A notable example in 2008 was the interception of a “large number” of calls placed from Washington when a programming error confused the U.S. area code 202 for 20, the international dialing code for Egypt, according to a “quality assurance” review that was not distributed to the NSA’s oversight staff.
 

„
  		 

—-FUCK YOU AMERIKA HA HA HA

   
“ 		 
Ex-NSA employees have also told the Wall Street Journal that they believe the code published by the Shadow Brokers to be “authentic.” These scraps of information raise the question of why the NSA had for years been sitting on vulnerabilities that affect widely used networking gear. They also suggest that the agency may have gone against White House policy on when it is reasonable to keep flaws secret.

The Cisco bugs were zero-day vulnerabilities, so called because they give the author of a piece of software zero days to identify and distribute a solution. Zero-days are valuable to criminals and spies because they can be used to break into systems undetected.

Organizations in the business of hacking, like the NSA, can secretly stockpile vulnerabilities to keep their operations stealthy. Critics of the NSA have accused it of weakening Internet security by hoarding zero-days and preventing companies from fixing their products.
 

„
  		 

—--LOL THEY GOT HACKED LOLOL

File:Nsautahgarbage.jpg
   
“ 		 
"When he was running the Army's Intelligence and Security Command, Alexander brought many of his future allies down to Fort Belvoir for a tour of his base of operations, a facility known as the Information Dominance Center. It had been designed by a Hollywood set designer to mimic the bridge of the starship Enterprise from Star Trek, complete with chrome panels, computer stations, a huge TV monitor on the forward wall, and doors that made a 'whoosh' sound when they slid open and closed. Lawmakers and other important officials took turns sitting in a leather 'captain's chair' in the center of the room and watched as Alexander, a lover of science-fiction movies, showed off his data tools on the big screen. (LOL) 
   "'Everybody wanted to sit in the chair at least once to pretend he was Jean-Luc Picard,' says a retired officer in charge of VIP visits."


 

„
  		 

—SHOW US YOUR TOOL, KEITH!!

   
“ 		 
"The brain drain has been so pronounced that at one gathering in 2016 of the agency’s elite hacking division, one individual raised the concern with Rogers directly. According to several people familiar with the exchange, Rogers disputed that there was any increase in attrition and told his employees that they should stop complaining and get back to work."
  		„
  		 

—OOPS!

The fucks even complain about the cafeteria. So much for "fighting for freedom and the Amurrican Way".

Snowden is teh ghey

NSA directors are required to dress like this
   
“ 		 
They really hate Snowden. The NSA is clearly, madly, deeply furious at the man whose actions triggered the biggest crisis in its history. Even while contending they welcome the debate that now engages the nation, they say that they hate the way it was triggered. The NSA has an admittedly insular culture — the officials described it as almost like a family.... NSA officials are infuriated that all this havoc was caused by some random contractor. They suggest that had Snowden been familiar with the culture and the ethos of the agency, understood the level of training undergone by its employees, seen the level of regulations and oversight, he would have been less likely to abscond with all those documents. (Snowden’s interviews indicate otherwise.) Still, they are stunned that someone “inside the fence” would do what Snowden did. Even if Snowden is eventually pardoned, he’d do well to steer clear of Fort Meade.
  		„
  		 

—--Steven Levy

   
“ 		 
“In a world where I would not be restricted from killing an American, I personally would go and kill him myself.”

“I would love to put a bullet in his head.”

“Most everyone I talk to says he needs to be tried and hung, forget the trial and just hang him.”

When it comes to Snowden, it seems that—much like domestic surveillance—NSA workers don't like to do things halfway. One Army intelligence officer provided this gem:

“I think if we had the chance, we would end it very quickly,” he said. “Just casually walking on the streets of Moscow, coming back from buying his groceries. Going back to his flat and he is casually poked by a passerby. He thinks nothing of it at the time starts to feel a little woozy and thinks it’s a parasite from the local water. He goes home very innocently and next thing you know he dies in the shower.”
 

„
  		 

How to get on an NSA Watchlist

Google the following:

  • JOIN ISIS
  • How to join ISIS
  • Death to america
  • America your time will come
  • Hurricane Katrina Relief Funds
  • How to build a bomb
  • Fertilizer materials for creating ANFO bomb
  • ANFO supplies
  • Download The Anarchist Cookbook
  • Timothy McVeigh
  • 9/11 Truth
  • Logic for 1st graders
  • How to think critically and independently
  • ZOG
  • Zionist Occupation Government
  • HAARP
  • CIA Spying on Civilians
  • Shoot up a school, how to shoot up my school, columbine copycat
  • Hillary Clinton dying
  • Mass Shooting guide
  • Assassinate the President
  • History of the jewish race, weev is ghey
  • Suck Keith Alexander's cock

Keywords

Waihopai, INFOSEC, Information Security, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Priavacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, Reno, Compsec, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, ISS, Passwords, DefCon V, Hackers, Encryption, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, PEM, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, COSMOS, DATTA, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, Active X, Compsec 97, LLC, DERA, Mavricks, Meta-hackers, ^?, Steve Case, Tools, Telex, Military Intelligence, Scully, Flame, Infowar, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, ISACA, NCSA, spook words, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, LABLINK, USACIL, USCG, NRC, ~, CDC, DOE, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, DREO, CDA, DRA, SHAPE, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI, SAS, SBS, UDT, GOE, DOE, GEO, Masuda, Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, CQB, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU, SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2, MD4, MDA, MYK, 747,777, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, Duress, RAID, Psyops, grom, D-11, SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, MP5k, DREC, DEVGRP, DF, DSD, FDM, GRU, LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, PSAC, PTT, RFI, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO, SUSLO, TELINT, TEXTA. ELF, LF, MF, VHF, UHF, SHF, SASP, WANK, Colonel, domestic disruption, smuggle, 15kg, nitrate, Pretoria, M-14, enigma, Bletchley Park, Clandestine, nkvd, argus, afsatcom, CQB, NVD, Counter Terrorism Security, Rapid Reaction, Corporate Security, Police, sniper, PPS, ASIS, ASLET, TSCM, Security Consulting, High Security, Security Evaluation, Electronic Surveillance, MI-17, Counterterrorism, spies, eavesdropping, debugging, interception, COCOT, rhost, rhosts, SETA, Amherst, Broadside, Capricorn, Gamma, Gorizont, Guppy, Ionosphere, Mole, Keyhole, Kilderkin, Artichoke, Badger, Cornflower, Daisy, Egret, Iris, Hollyhock, Jasmine, Juile, Vinnell, B.D.M.,Sphinx, Stephanie, Reflection, Spoke, Talent, Trump, FX, FXR, IMF, POCSAG, Covert Video, Intiso, r00t, lock picking, Beyond Hope, csystems, passwd, 2600 Magazine, Competitor, EO, Chan, Alouette,executive, Event Security, Mace, Cap-Stun, stakeout, ninja, ASIS, ISA, EOD, Oscor, Merlin, NTT, SL-1, Rolm, TIE, Tie-fighter, PBX, SLI, NTT, MSCJ, MIT, 69, RIT, Time, MSEE, Cable & Wireless, CSE, Embassy, ETA, Porno, Fax, finks, Fax encryption, white noise, pink noise, CRA, M.P.R.I., top secret, Mossberg, 50BMG, Macintosh Security, Macintosh Internet Security, Macintosh Firewalls, Unix Security, VIP Protection, SIG, sweep, Medco, TRD, TDR, sweeping, TELINT, Audiotel, Harvard, 1080H, SWS, Asset, Satellite imagery, force, Cypherpunks, Coderpunks, TRW, remailers, replay, redheads, RX-7, explicit, FLAME, Pornstars, AVN, Playboy, Anonymous, Sex, chaining, codes, Nuclear, 20, subversives, SLIP, toad, fish, data havens, unix, c, a, b, d, the, Elvis, quiche, DES, 1*, NATIA, NATOA, sneakers, counterintelligence, industrial espionage, PI, TSCI, industrial intelligence, H.N.P., Juiliett Class Submarine, Locks, loch, Ingram Mac-10, sigvoice, ssa, E.O.D., SEMTEX, penrep, racal, OTP, OSS, Blowpipe, CCS, GSA, Kilo Class, squib, primacord, RSP, Becker, Nerd, fangs, Austin, Comirex, GPMG, Speakeasy, humint, GEODSS, SORO, M5, ANC, zone, SBI, DSS, S.A.I.C., Minox, Keyhole, SAR, Rand Corporation, Wackenhutt, EO, Wackendude, mol, Hillal, GGL, CTU, botux, Virii, CCC, Blacklisted 411, Internet Underground, XS4ALL, Retinal Fetish, Fetish, Yobie, CTP, CATO, Phon-e, Chicago Posse, l0ck, spook keywords, PLA, TDYC, W3, CUD, CdC, Weekly World News, Zen, World Domination, Dead, GRU, M72750, Salsa, 7, Blowfish, Gorelick, Glock, Ft. Meade, press-release, Indigo, wire transfer, e-cash, Bubba the Love Sponge, Digicash, zip, SWAT, Ortega, PPP, crypto-anarchy, AT&T, SGI, SUN, MCI, Blacknet, Middleman, KLM, Blackbird, plutonium, Texas, jihad, SDI, Uzi, Fort Meade, supercomputer, bullion, 3, Blackmednet, Propaganda, ABC, Satellite phones, Planet-1, cryptanalysis, nuclear, FBI, Panama, fissionable, Sears Tower, NORAD, Delta Force, SEAL, virtual, Dolch, secure shell, screws, Black-Ops, Area51, SABC, basement, data-haven, black-bag, TEMPSET, Goodwin, rebels, ID, MD5, IDEA, garbage, market, beef, Stego, unclassified, utopia, orthodox, Alica, SHA, Global, gorilla, Bob, Pseudonyms, MITM, Gray Data, VLSI, mega, Leitrim, Yakima, Sugar Grove, Cowboy, Gist, 8182, Gatt, Platform, 1911, Geraldton, UKUSA, veggie, 3848, Morwenstow, Consul, Oratory, Pine Gap, Menwith, Mantis, DSD, BVD, 1984, Flintlock, cybercash, government, hate, speedbump, illuminati, president, freedom, cocaine, $, Roswell, ESN, COS, E.T., credit card, b9, fraud, assasinate, virus, anarchy, rogue, mailbomb, 888, Chelsea, 1997, Whitewater, MOD, York, plutonium, William Gates, clone, BATF, SGDN, Nike, Atlas, Delta, TWA, Kiwi, PGP 2.6.2., PGP 5.0i, PGP 5.1, siliconpimp, Lynch, 414, Face, Pixar, IRIDF, eternity server, Skytel, Yukon, Templeton, LUK, Cohiba, Soros, Standford, niche, 51, H&K, USP, ^, sardine, bank, EUB, USP, PCS, NRO, Red Cell, Glock 26, snuffle, Patel, package, ISI, INR, INS, IRS, GRU, RUOP, GSS, NSP, SRI, Ronco, Armani, BOSS, Chobetsu, FBIS, BND, SISDE, FSB, BfV, IB, froglegs, JITEM, SADF, advise, TUSA, HoHoCon, SISMI, FIS, MSW, Spyderco, UOP, SSCI, NIMA, MOIS, SVR, SIN, advisors, SAP, OAU, PFS, Aladdin, chameleon man, Hutsul, CESID, Bess, rail gun, Peering, 17, 312, NB, CBM, CTP, Sardine, SBIRS, SGDN, ADIU, DEADBEEF, IDP, IDF, Halibut, SONANGOL, Flu, &, Loin, PGP 5.53, EG&G, AIEWS, AMW, WORM, MP5K-SD, 1071, WINGS, cdi, DynCorp, UXO, Ti, THAAD, package, chosen, PRIME, SURVIAC, homoerotic Mike Rogers

Videos

bitch bitch

moan moan

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

See also

External links

National Security Agency
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-right • Anarchy • Capitalism • Centrism • Communism • Conservatism • Cyanism • Democrat • Hippie • Liberalism • Libertarianism • Miltopism • Nazi • Nihilism • Neo-con • Pacifism • Republican • Reconquista • Socialism • Stoner Guru • Tory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

Abortion • Arab Spring • Bahrain • Barron Trump • Birth • CISPA • Death penalty • Drugs • Environmentalism • Gays • George Bush doesn't care about black people • Girlfriends • Marijuana Addiction • Ground Zero Mosque • Marijuana Addiction • Mass Shooting • Gun control • Guns • Healthcare (2) (3)• Homeless • Housing Crisis • Hunting • Iceslave • Iran • Marriage • Miller Test • Miltopia • NAU • Pimpin' • Racism • Shoes • Taxes • Terrorism • Unemployment • War • Welfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

Ahmadinejad • Akin • AOC • B.Allen • G. Allen • Angle • Ashburn • Bachmann • Bhutto • Bin Laden • H.Biden • J.Biden • Blagojevich • Blair • Boehner • G.Brown • S.Brown • Bunning • Jim Traficant • Dubya Bush • George H. W. Bush • Burr • Byrd • Cain • Cameron • Chavez • Che • Cheney • Chomsky • Chretien • Churchill • Clinton • Clinton II • Chelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton Clegg • Cohen • Coleman • Corbyn • Cowger • Craig • Cthulhu • Cunningham • Curtis • D'Alema • Dean • Delay • Duterte • Dwyer • Edwards • Fagan • Fiorina • Foley • Gerald Ford • Rob Ford • Geller • Gillard • Gingrich • Giuliani • Gonzales • Gore • Graham • Gravel • Greene • Griffin • Hague • Hanson • Harding • Harper • Harris • Hitler • Howard • Huckabee • Hussein • Jackson • James • Jidette • Johnson • Johnson, Boris • Kennedy • LaRouche • LBJ • Lott • Kerry • Kind • Kissinger • Kucinich • Lewinsky • Lieberman • Limbaugh • Loughner • Major • Marceaux.com • Marx • McBerry • McCain • McConnell • McHenry • McKinney • Mercer • Michael Bloomberg • Moore • Morocco Mole • Mussolini • Nader • Nixon • Obama • O'Donnell • Osborne • Paine • Paladino • Palin • Paul • Pelosi • Pence • Perry • Pinochet • Pritt • Putin • Quah • Quayle • Rasansky • Reagan • Rendell • Rice • Robertson • Romney • Rove • Rudd • Rumsfeld • Ryan • Saakashvili • Sanders • Santorum • Schumer • Schwarzenegger • Sharpton • Cyril Smith • Jacqui Smith • Spitzer • Stevens • Stranahan • Supreme • Taitz • Thatcher • Thompson • Thorley • TPMMuckraker Mole • Trudeau • Trump • Vance • Ventura • Vitter • Walz • Warsi • Washington • Waxman • Weiner • West • Williams • Wilson • Wolfowitz • X • Xenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third Party • Black Bloc • Dramacratic Party • Hard Party • Lemon Party • Liberal Party of Australia • North American DONG Party • OBAMACORN • Socialist Workers Party • Pirate Party • Zapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government Shutdown • Blaming China • Captain Nigga Defenda • Cloward Piven Strategy • Critical race theory • Cuckservatives • Demockery • Doomsday Clock • G20 Toronto Lollercaust • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberal guilt • Macaca • #NotMySuperbowlChamps • Occupy Democrats • Operation Lemonparty • Raped Statistics • The Resistance • Upworthy • Wunderground

See also: 2012 Elections • 2016 Presidential Elections • 2020 Presidential Elections • 2024 USA Presidential Elections • Internet Politics • PizzaGate • Political communities • Roe v. Wade

Retrieved from "http://edramatica.com/index.php?title=National_Security_Agency&oldid=1377345"